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Saturday 28 January 2006

Chinese New Year!

Its only a couple of hours until we usher in the (in)auspicious year of the Dog. And I am terribly bored, being confined at home because of the arcane concept of a reunion dinner that sounds rather absurd to people like me.

So here I am, lazing on my bed, with a laptop and my steady source of Cradle of Filth blaring out of the speakers as my source of entertainment for this period of unbearable time.

Reader-fiends, if you are wondering how to go about killing time tomorrow whilst relative-visiting, this might help you a nifty.

For metalheads:

  1. Plug on to your earphones with metal blaring and headbang to your hearts' content.
  2. If you happen to be a black metaller, think all things necro and grim.
  3. If you happen to be a power metal freak, think epic and Manowar.
  4. Black metallers again, think of the coldness of your soul and recite 'In the mountains of madness! Unending grimness, this kingdom is mine!'
  5. Air guitaring and air drumming work well too.
  6. Headbang more.
  7. Point \m/ everywhere you go.
  8. Instead of saying 'Gong xi fuck cai', say 'Hails!'
  9. Bring 6 oranges.
  10. If your parents forced you not to wear black, then listen to them. It's the ang pow money that matters now.
For Magicians and flourishers:

  1. Do Healed and Sealed Coda can effect.
  2. Do not allow your irritating cousins to use your cards in Tai Di/Poker/21 points/anything game at all.
  3. Elmsely count the ang pows, so you can always say 'One is missing! You haven't give!'
  4. Palm the chocolate coins.
  5. Flourish all the way.
  6. Produce red spongeballs from the ang pows. (Little red balls. :P)
  7. I am still thinking...
  8. Flourish is still the best way to kill time.
  9. Cheat the young.
  10. Test your pickpocketing skills.
I guess with all these 20 handy tips, you *hopefully* can survive the ever-monotonous Chinese New Year and remain sane.

[off to eat more chinese new year goodies and listen to more metal]

Auf Wiedersehen!

In the festive mood,
Ling.
28th January 2006 AD.

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