Melancholic

It's just so hard to re-capture the fun of flourish meet ups recently... Or, they don't even occur like it did before.

I guess it's time to move on in life at this point of time, perhaps. Hmm, I shall not pursue for flourish meet ups with such urgency then.

Anyway, continuing my endless monologue, I would really like to thank Mr. Dalvey Neo for introducing me to the Swedish band - Pain. Seriously underrated band, neglected too. Speaking of Mr. Neo, I miss all those ''chatting about life and being all nihilistic, plus cynicism left, right and centre'' sessions with him. I see no traces of intellectual life around me in SRJC, and never will. Boring, dull, uninteresting breed of specimens, they are. Docile, even. I lament again... I hope I can meet Mr. Neo soon again.

Life - an incessant barrage of boredom and emotional melancholy. I sigh again.

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Finns are the most fun!

I knew this already because my Finnish friend Galileo is the coolest. He never mentioned that his country produced this video, though! My sweet brother coolboy sent it to me last year and today I share it with you as a Thursday present.

I think my favorite part, though, is that after he sent it coolboy sent me this remake done by "some college students." I watched it for about 15 seconds and said, "Uh . . . those aren't 'some college students.' Those are Mormons. I'm betting BYU students."

I couldn't initially put my finger on how I knew that, but I just did. Instantly. Then I realized that everyone just looked so rosy-cheeked and wholesome and Caucasian, and the girls all had sleeves and were wearing their Shade shirts. Then I noticed the piano in the background and the LDS hymnbook sitting on it.

That's right. I'm good.

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Things I've Decided

You remember how all the parents brought their toddlers to see Pirates of the Caribbean 3? (The one where Will Turner makes out with Elizabeth's thigh and then there are the faces that she makes? Yeah. Explain that one to your 6-yr-old.) Those same people brought their little kids to see Les Miserables at the Pioneer Theater on Monday. I really don't know what these people are thinking of. First off, that thing is long. Like forever long. It ended at 11pm on a school night. Second off, there are the prostitutes and the swearing and the raunchy innuendo. And it's also maybe kind of boring for the kiddies who can't follow along unless their dad whispers (loudly) the plot as it goes.

I realize that parents are the ones who decide what their kids are mature enough to handle (or too young to notice), but come on. If you don't know yet what's going to be in a play or movie then why would you bring your young kids for a blind viewing and just assume it's going to be fine? If you're the one who really wants to watch the movie, then get a sitter. Don't drag the whole gang along and call it Family Togetherness Time. I've decided that's stupid. And so are they.

The other thing I've decided is that it is Not. Even. Cool. to turn up at someone's place of work when you want to flirt and/or ask them out. It just isn't. It's especially not cool to turn up at my place of work. Because it's not like I have an office where I can entertain (or hide from) gentleman callers. Also, it's just not fair. It's not fair for someone to turn up and monopolize my time just because they know where and when I work and because I'm an open target there at my desk. It's not fair, either, to put me in a position where other people (like, say, my boss, and the people I supervise) can notice and overhear what's going on and then speculate about my dating life, which I actually prefer not to discuss at work. Also, what if I wanted to turn the date down? How can I do that with sensitivity and tact when a) I've been caught on the spot, b) everyone can hear exactly what I say, and c) I have no desire to reject someone in a public setting where it might be embarrassing for them. (Not that the person in question seemed to take any thought as to what might be embarrassing for me.)

(Note: My real friends are always welcome to come see me. I will totally brush off work for them! Unless I'm in the middle of an actual real thing and can't. Which sometimes happens. And if Ioan Gruffudd wants to turn up then I will brush off actual real things. Because a girl has to have priorities.)

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I'm so sad at the end of 3-day weekends

So it turned out to be quite the movie-watching weekend. I saw Shrek 3 on Friday night and Pirates 3 on Saturday morning.

Shrek 3--you can skip it. There are some funny scenes but it's nowhere as funny and original as the first one.

Pirates 3--Um . . . yeah. Not sure how I feel about that one. It was great fun to watch (all 6.25 hours of it) but it had some downright dark and icky moments. It's always during those moments that I look around at all the parents who've brought their 4-year-olds into the theatre and wonder exactly what kind of mental disorder said parents have. (Same think with Lord of the Rings--seriously, people!) I wasn't thrilled about the end of Pirates. Not that I'm telling you what it was, because I'm not. So yeah, go see it, but don't say I didn't warn you.

Also, I just found the greatest new toy ever. Its name is TV Links and it's how I'm getting caught up on the episodes of The Office that I missed this season. My army brother told me about it over the weekend. I'm sure there's no possible way it's legal although they seem to have slipped through the cracks thus far. And don't any of you be the ones to be all whistle-blowing, okay? Because I need my Jim fix and woe unto anyone who interferes with our love!!!

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Hmm

On the thread on Who do you want to meet? at Decknique:

for me uhmmm` prolly LINGnemesis (flourisher)` houdini (magician)` no kidding` just want them to meet in person thats all` btw allanD and i are living in same country but havent meet yet`

Hmm.

Mentioned also are mythical figures like Dan and Dave, Jay Sankey, HOUDINI, Daren, Virtuoso, Jaspas and all that jazz.

I am that good, huh?

[gigantic grin]

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Drum solo of Frost from Satyricon

My tornado translated into blast beats.

Made me want to learn drums so badly...

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It's the first day of the june holidays, and I have gloriously mugged for 6 hours.

Very great.

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Awesomeness.

Awesomeness because of 2 things;

I can do Underpressure finally!

I received Vika's package! Seriously, thank you so much for it. Mine little thin letter paled in comparsion to yours. The inventory of the package is killer; it ranges from a Dimmu Borgir/Opeth A3 poster, several teabags, city maps of Solvenia and London, 2 pictures from France and London, several postcards, a handwritten letter, Wacken Open Air 2005 leaflet, Dissection Gig flyer, and finally, a book by Zizek!

I need to send you something more substainable next time. =)

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I still can't believe...

If you do not wish to read an entire post on pointless stuff, don't, click back. =D

Okay, here we go;
I still cannot believe that I have;

1. Met Mayhem personally
2. Came close to the end of my JC education
3. Been involved in the whole Cingular Blackjack thing.
4. Almost flourished for 3 years.
5. Been rather known for flourishing across the globe.
6. Worked at Fantasma Magic
7. Appeared on newspapers twice in 2005 for magic.

That really is a whacked up 2 years. Of which, I found it most surreal is my flourishing journey. So much memories, of which almost all are extremely pleasurable to have. I found my closest friends from flourishing, of which, we have a high mutual respect for each other, which is crucial and essential for good friendships. Not to mention the praises I heard on myself, even without making any proper video in my 3 years of flourishing. Plus, the clamouring and deep admiration coming all over the world to Singaporeans for flourishing. I really must declare that flourishing made my entire teenage life, although I am still quite one. Flourishing is the damned best thing that happened to me. [leaving out metal of course.]

Then, I wondered, what if I hadn't picked up flourishing? Not even magic? I will be truly an nobody, really. A truly terrifying alternative scenario, one that I dare not envision.

Yes, I am heading to my twenty years of age soon, adulthood awaits me. Give up the cards for it? Hell no. =D

Inwardly gratified,
Ling

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Oh no you didn't

My brother-in-law sent me the link to a May 20th Op-Ed piece in the New York Times by Mark Helprin entitled "A Great Idea Lives Forever. Shouldn't its Copyright?". I think Ed only sent it so he could stand back and watch my brain explode, the same way a kid might light an illegal firework imported from Mexico.

(Note: Prepare yourself for a rant. This is what I wrote my dissertation on, so I'm slightly impassioned.)

Helprin is whining because he wants the copyright term to be extended, again, some more. He thinks that if he were to write the Great American Novel (which I hope he never does, because I'm pretty sure I would hate that book), then only holding the rights to that novel for the rest of his life + 70 additional years (the current copyright term in the USA) is just not even enough. Because what if his poor great-grandson can't buy a boat for his 13th birthday once all those nasty public domain people rob his posterity blind?

My answer to that, of course, would be to tell the g-grandson to write his OWN Great American Novel and stop this About a Boy nonsense. Also to get a job. And tuck in his shirt. And comb his freaking hair for gosh sakes.

The original copyright term set up in this country was 14 years. The Founding Fathers understood that no one can own an idea. But since it does take work to develop ideas and put them into accessible formats and publish them, the copyright term was established. It was meant to provide incentive & compensation for creators to share their ideas, with the understanding that their ideas (and the form in which they shared them with the world) would eventually be made part of the public domain and others could then build upon them. That way everyone wins. And if creators & authors didn't want to share, then that was just fine--they could just Keep It To Themselves and Never Tell Anyone Their Fabulous Great Idea. And they could stay home and pet their idea alone in their room and murmur “My Precious” to it.

Helprin is trying to say that a novel or song or play should be treated the same way as a house or boat and should stay within the original builder's possession forever and ever, worlds without end. But songs and novels and plays aren't like houses or boats. They're not created for the private use of just one family. They don't really begin to exist as great works until they're sent out into the world to be seen and read and studied and appreciated. You can't take away a creative work from someone by using it.

And anyway, the big power behind the push for extended and ridiculously strong copyright is not coming from the descendants of dead writers of the Great American Novel. It’s coming from corporations like Disney who don't want to lose control of their characters—characters which, for the most part, existed in the public domain before Disney adapted them. So on that thought, here is a brilliant, brilliant video about copyright, fair use, and Disney. Don’t be put off by the length, because the last minute is mostly credits.

ps. Since writing the above, I discovered that Mr. Lawrence Lessig His Own Self has responded to Helprin's article in the form of a wiki ("Against Perpetual Copyright") so that other people can contribute their comments, which, seriously? Is awesome. Glad Lawrence and I are on the same page here. ;-)

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A Fair(y) Use Tale

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Triple-dog dare you

Laurie Berkner is Savvy's new favorite person, and while I stayed with them last week I got to see why. She sings these kids songs that are actually kind of silly and catchy and don't make you want to bludgeon yourself to death with a highchair.

Savannah put in the DVD and invited me to sing and dance along with her. Jenny told me I'd been given a high honor, because no one else was allowed to dance along lest they be killed and eaten by an irate Savannah.

Anyway, here's the dare: Watch this video twice and then TRY to not have that song in your head. I spent the entire ULA conference (and a couple of days after) randomly singing, "Hey, Victor . . . "

This was more fun when Savvy was around, because she would always pipe right up with, "Hey, Freddy . . . " and then we would finish the chorus together and the clouds would part and rainbows would arc over us and people in the streets stopped to watch the preciousness of it all.

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Please excuse me, I have to go Wii

So I played a Nintendo Wii last night for the first time. And it was really, really fun. And cool. It pains me to admit that, because I'm always the one ranting about how grown men these days would rather sit in their basements and play stupid video games rather than taking attractive and witty librarians on dates. Turns out there are some grown men who have figured out how to multitask by inviting attractive and witty librarians over to their basements to play video games. Tricky, tricky . . .

There were all these warnings about keeping the remote (I am not even going to call it a Wii-mote because I am not three years old, thank you) attached to your wrist and watching what you're doing so you don't hit anyone in the face or send the remote flying through the TV screen. Which, fair enough.

Now my arms are sore. Only I was totally good for my first time, I've decided. Turns out Wii baseball is the only kind I can play without public embarrassment, shame, and injury. I actually won twice when the game invoked the Mercy Rule after I got 6 home runs. I've never heard of there being a Mercy Rule in real baseball, but whatever. It means I win. I win I win I win. At video games of sports.

It is like Opposites Day!!!

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Marilyn Manson Heart Shaped Glasses

More week more to Eat Me. Drink Me.

Can't wait.

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Um, okay . . .

So yeah. Two days later YouTube deigns to post my video. Three times. Because that is how many times I tried to share the love with you all. Those weirdos.

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Why I would like for someone to just giftwrap Captain Wentworth and send him to my house

I went on a date recently. (I know!!)

But because this is my life and nothing can ever be simple, it was with a guy that my boss set me up with. To be specific, she met him a few months ago, found out he was single, and told him that there is a new single librarian at her library and he should really come in and check me out. Another coworker was with her at the time and rushed back to warn--I mean, tell me about it.

"I mean, maybe you'll like him. Do you like obnoxious guys?"

He eventually did come in and did ask me out. And since he didn't seem to be an axe-murderer or anything, I said yes.

We went out to dinner and he was very nice and polite and, dare I say it, even witty. And then this:

The server brought us our food and he asked, "Would you mind if I offered a quick blessing on our food?"

Me: "Um, I guess that's fine. Do you mean silently or, like, vocally?"

Him: "Well, out-loud if that's okay."

Me: " . . . Sure."

Note: We Mormon folk typically do say grace/offer a blessing/what have you over our meals in our homes, or church activities where food is served, but not so much in restaurants. When I was at BYU and living in the dorms, people would close their eyes and say a quick, silent prayer over their cafeteria trays before eating. But everyone knew what that was about, and were all so excited to finally be Among the Righteous where you actually could pray over food without being called a Jesus freak. But the restaurant thing? To me that just feels awkward and conspicuous. And after his prayer, which to be fair was very brief and quiet and did not involve vials of sheep's blood or any other unexpected thing, I had pretty much decided that I'm not down with the restaurant praying.

Only I feel a bit like a hypocrite to be all, "Yeah, I'm not into you. I like guys who pray less. And drink more." If I were in New York City and sitting near a Jewish or Catholic or Muslim family and noticed that they were praying over their food, I would probably think, "Cool. Good on them." But out here in Utah where lots and lots and lots of people are the same religion as me and none of them feel the need to pray vocally in restaurants, the ones doing it might come off as a bit attention-seeking and self-righteous, if you see what I mean.

So we're going out again, but if the subject comes up I'm going to tell the truth, that I'm just not down with that. And that I said a 3-hour prayer before the date and made sure to cover any food products I might come across.

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This is what you're up against, guys--sorry

Am so irritated with YouTube at the moment because it says it's posting this video to my blog but it is actually lying to me. Only why even bother lying when I'm absolutely going to find out??

Remind me never to date YouTube.

You do, however, owe it to yourself and to your Monday to go watch this video. If you're a Jane Austen fan (or even a Jane Austen hater) then you should get a kick out of it. I couldn't decide whether to swoon or laugh my head off, so I did a bit of both.

Happy Monday!

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Contented

Because I have accumulated all of Falkenbach's discography.

All Hail Vanadis! *insert epic Norse/Germanic Gods names*

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Yoga classes are paying off

My talented-brother-in-law-who-is-shortly-to-become-famous asked me to be a model for a photo shoot he's working on. He's getting his portfolio ready for when he officially opens for business at the end of the summer.

It's a bird-watching shoot down at Utah Lake at sunset. It's me and this buff marathoner (married) guy, but Ed already shot the marathoner and now it's my turn. They'll make a composite of different shots so it looks like we're together, all outdoorsy and REI-clad. I'm in shorts, but I'm told they'll do something about my fishbelly-white legs.

I had to balance on these rocks by the water with binoculars to my eyes and turn slowly to scan the horizon while Ed shot. I even got a compliment. "I mean, for someone who can't throw a softball, you have way better coordination at this than I thought you would."

So there you go. I may not be able to throw a softball but I am the best at not falling over. Will probably jinx this tonight when we have to go back down and take a few more.

Also, to all the apparently hundreds and hundreds of people who litter down at Utah Lake, I say shame on you. Shame and dishonor upon you and your houses forever. I mean, I'd expect this from the Corona-drinkers, but the water-bottle people? Seriously!!! What is even wrong with you?? You think you're going to like going down to the lake quite so much when you have to wade through trash?I think a good idea for punishing litterers would be to make them spend about about 50 hours picking up litter.

With their teeth.

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The Mitre.

I went to a hotel built by the British back in 1860, near the vincity of Somerset this evening, with Ren Hui, to take pictures.

It is to be seized by the Government at the end of the month, so there is no time to waste.

Step into a world, 200 years back, as I show you my yield of photographs.

Everything is real old, you can hear the wood creaking below your feet, the stairs are crumbling, the wood is eaten up by termites, the ceiling is half gone, lots of abandoned furnitures. The only thing lacking is a vampire dwelling.

The caretaker was dubious, too. We talked to her, she could not even remember what she said 5 minutes ago, she cannot even answer a simple question fast, she looks quite blank in her eyes, too. For a minute, I thought we were in a horror film, waiting for the Hotel owner to capture us all, then kill us at her own pace.

Nonetheless, I had a fucking good time. Albeit the mosquitoe bites.

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Me and my nerd conference

Which is what my rude sister is calling it.

Others know it as the annual Utah Library Association conference. It's being held at the Provo Marriott--this year with coffee! As soon as I saw the Devil's Brew sitting there on the tables I sat down and wrote a Shocked and Appalled letter. I'm sure there are templates online somewhere that I could download, along with "Vote for Mitt Romney" chain emails and "How to Have Your Own Harry Potter Bookburning Party" tips.

I've met some fun people despite my not having business cards. Next time, though, I'll be ready! I went to a two-hour long session on graphic novels & manga, except that it turned into one of those things where the speaker went down her "recommended list" and discussed every single book. That's why they needed 2 hours. I should have left at half-time with my booklists and gone to something else. Then I went to another one where people from the Provo Library discussed their summer reading program for teens, which they've only been doing for a few years. They talked about what has worked and what hasn't and what they've been learning. It was really helpful (maybe too late for this summer, but next year is going to kick). During their presentation a middle-aged man (I assume he's an academic librarian at BYU or UVSC something) spoke up:

MAMA: Now, I live in Provo and I have two teenaged girls. This seems like something that they'd really be interested in, but I've never heard anything about it. I didn't even know you offered a program like this. So you really need to work on your advertising.

Provo Library Staff: Well, we didn't really have a huge budget for that. We did put information up on our website . . . and big posters throughout the library . . . and handed out bookmarks . . . and included information on the City newsletter.

MAMA: But what I think would have been good is if you'd sent out flyers. Like to my home. Like if you'd sent out a mailing about it to all your card-holders.

Which is when I almost sustained ocular damage from my Massive Eye Roll. I mean, why didn't they just come to his house and knock on his door and tell him all about it, huh?

PLS: That's a great idea, but that would have actually been quite expensive and we really didn't have the budget for that. Plus, the people we were trying to reach those first couple of years were the teens who were already in the library and using it.

I leaned over to my neighbor and whispered, "Translation: if he or his daughters had ever actually stepped foot in the library they would have known about it."

Some people's children.

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Today's Soapbox

Hold on while I climb up.

Okay.

Everyone who wants to do a good thing today needs to go sign the Petition for Public Access to Publicly Funded Research in the United States. You can follow this link or you can click on the "go stick it to the man" button on my sidebar. Because even if you don't care about having access to publicly-funded research, there are other people who really want it and would make great use out of it. Plus it's research that we have paid for, so we darn well should be able to see it and use it. It's a step in the right direction towards Open Access and Access to Knowledge and information goods not being controlled by greedy rights-infringing corporations and don't you make me post my entire dissertation up here because I will. Just go sign the thing; it will earn you karma points. I promise.

If you haven't downloaded Firefox after I already told you to, then you really need to get on that. At least upgrade to Internet Explorer 7, even though that is so not Sticking it to the Man. I'm just sayin'.

Kids these days don't even know what an encyclopedia is anymore. What is up with that? And it's not like they're off using something better. They don't actually know how to use the Internet to do research. Their parents just drop them off at the library and expect them to figure it out. There are so many things I wish I could be teaching people how to do with computers at the library. There are so many free programs and so many databases that have already been paid for. I could run a "Homework Help" class. I could run a "Why Firefox is True and Will Bless Your Life with Bunnies and Unicorns" class. I could run a "Here are all the cool things you can do with Google and a few of the things you really shouldn't" class. It would be amazing. But I'm stretched thin and frazzled as it is. Plus the library's computers are steaming piles of crap.

I'm trying to work on my professional development by reading good library blogs and listserves and keeping up with what's happening in Libraryland, but it's making me feel a bit overwhelmed. People are doing such cool things, and I know the point is to just do the things that are possible for you and your library and are the most needed, but I don't know if we'll ever get to the point of doing some of this stuff.

I need business cards. Why don't I have them? How am I supposed to network at this week's Utah Library Association conference if I don't have business cards?

I am officially done having people ask me why I need a master's degree to work in a library. I am not talking about Singin's sweet husband here, because he was just taking an interest and had lots of good questions & suggestions. Also he made me scones. So he wins. Everyone else, though, will get a kick in the teeth, a million nasty papercuts, and a dip in a vat of lemon juice. I'll just start printing out librarian job descriptions and handing them out. "Can you do that? I didn't think so." People think that stuff like library catalogs and search engines and databases just happen and magically show them things. Only guess what? There is so, so, so very much more going on there than we think there is. And it took a lot of work to make it seem that simple, so that even an idiot (Read: The next person who says "You have to get a master's degree to stamp books??" to me) can use it. And to those people I say, when you consider that there is more information available on everything under the sun than there ever has been, you had better be grateful that there are people out there who figure out how to organize it all and make it so that out of all those billions of things you can find the one thing that you actually want and need. And you should be grateful that there are people who care about whether you're getting good & accurate information instead of standing back and letting natural selection finish you off.

The End.

Climbing back down.

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Vacation's over

Sigh . . .

This'll have to be quick because I'm heading to work. But I got back last night and took one look at dry dusty Utah and kind of wanted to cry a little bit. And this is the greenest it gets here!

Everything was wonderful--the weather held out beautifully, Singin's baby decided to refrain from an early arrival, everyone was lovely and generous, and the food was amazing. Have posted pictures to Flickr but haven't given them titles or anything yet.

Would love to move up there. It's just too bad that it's one of the most competitive spots in the country as far as library jobs are concerned. (Can't you just see all the librarians duking it out Gladiator-style for the right to catalog in Washington? Because I totally can. It'd get nasty.)

It turns out that at 5'3 I'm shorter than all the other people at Singin's parents' house (that's where they're living for the moment). Singin' and her huge pregnant belly were cooking breakfast my last morning there and she started to ask me something. Seeing this as my chance to finally be useful, I rushed in all eager to know what I could do. She stopped and said, "Oh. Nevermind. You'd need a stool to do it."

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Dissection - God of Forbidden light

Jon is alive in my heart.

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Highlights so far

There won't even be a lowlights list because there are no lowlights!

"Singin'" is the cutest pregnant person ever.

Confirmed the existence of her husband, whom I like very much.

So far it has been sunny and warm and gorgeous. Love Washington.

Trader Joe's with its flirty checkers, dark-chocolate covered pretzels that do not come in bags nearly large enough, dried mushrooms, and every good thing.

Introducing Singin' to the new Jane Eyre film with its smouldering hot Mr. Rochester. She gets it, even if (unlike my sister Jenny) she refrained from shouting "Oh my gosh Do it! Do it now!!" at the screen.

Homemade crepes for breakfast.

Port Townsend with its pretty Victorian buildings and houses and gorgeous stores stocked with things like fabulous stationary and mango-sugar hand cream.

The high-school sophomore who tried to pick up on me in a bookstore when he heard me saying I liked the "His Dark Materials" trilogy. He asked us if we were in college. I said no, that I'd graduated from college and was now a librarian (I skipped the part where I'm like 15 years older than him).

Rhododendrons are all in bloom. Still cannot pronounce rhododendron.

Poulsbo with its Nordic buildings and flags and shops which sell things like Kinder buenos and English lemon curd.

Central Market, which is this huge grocery store that has a soup bar, a salad bar, and an olive bar. Will be posting pictures. Also has an amazing Asian food section, where I found garam masala and a base for Tom Kah Kai soup.

Must get back to vacation now. Catch y'all later!

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Radiohead - There There (The Boney King of Nowhere)

I think I fell in love with this song. Send me this, anyone? Thanks!

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There is a reason why I'm such a slacker

And that reason is called I'm Going on Vacation, Madame!

I leave tomorrow morning and will get back on Monday. I have been a crazy person this week. Turns out that taking time off work around here is serious business--especially when I have about 6 projects going at once.

I'm going to visit the lovely Singin' in the Rain, whom I love dearly. She lives in beautiful Port Orchard, Washington, and tickets were a steal, so I couldn't pass it up. The only sad part is that it means I'm not visiting Lady Steed this month like we'd talked about doing over Memorial Day before everyone bailed. Sigh . . .

I told Singin' that there are only two things I simply must do: I need to go to Trader Joe's and fill my suitcase full enough to be used as an anvil or other dropping-type weapon (am bring like 3 items of clothing so that there's plenty of room). I also need to go to Pike's Place and eat these people's clam chowder, because Oh My Gosh. I would bathe in that stuff and lick it off my own dang body, that's how good it is. And if Ioan wants to join in then that's fine too.

After that it's all up to her because she is pretty much the best hostesses I've ever met. And so is her mom, and so are her sisters. They're all fabulous and I can't wait to go play with them! I'm so excited to see what she has in mind for us to do. Also she's 8 months pregnant and I can't wait to see her cute pregnant self and to meet her husband, who I am assured exists even though I've never met him. Of course, if he doesn't exist then I'll still give her the darling baby gifts I bought for her, because even a poor fatherless child needs presents.

What can I say? I'm a giver.

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Happy 18th Birthday, the holiest teenager I have seen - Ram Bahadur Bomjan!

May the last 4 years of your meditation stint be successful and smooth! Your inspiration in me, and others are profound. I really appreciate what you are doing.

May you find The Buddha Way.

======

Pardon for sounding weird, but I felt what I wrote.

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Torn

You know how scents can transport you back to a certain place/time/feeling? We've already talked about how cigarette smoke does that for me. Another big one for me is books. I don't know what gives them their smells (the paper? the ink?) but there are very distinctive "brands" of book scent. One reminds me of this book I got for Christmas when I was seven--it was full of fairy tales and myths. And even though I lost it in a move when I was eight (when you're in a military family you can count on losing 84% of your possessions during one move or another) every time I catch that smell I remember it. If you ever stop by the library when I'm cataloging books you just might catch me burying my face in the pages and smelling them while I relive other, happier book-based times in places like England and Germany. Just pretend you don't notice, 'kay?

Yesterday I had another scent flashback. A guy sat down near me during church and the combination of his cologne and the minty gum he was chewing smelled exactly like the boy I had an all-consuming crush on through high school and part of college. One whiff and I suddenly felt like I should be dancing to "Kiss From a Rose" in my high-school gym at the homecoming dance. It was all I could do to not bury my face in that guy's shirt to get a better whiff. I'm sure that wouldn't have alarmed him or his girlfriend at all.

Only then I remembered how my tragic crush turned out. Church Guy has no idea how close he came to getting his teeth kicked out.

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With very limited space left in my CD rack, I have no choice but to reduce my To-Own List. I shall get Falkenbach's Ok Nefna Tys Tyr and Enslaved's Vikingligr Veldi. Both are masterpieces.

I need to save more money, too. *shall stop eating at the second cafe!*

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So I saw Spiderman 3 last night

***Gah! I wondered why no one was commenting and then I realized that I'd accidentally blocked people from being able to make comments! How could I do that??? I live for comments! I'm sorry! Please, please make some!***

I don't usually do the whole "midnight showing on the day it comes out" thing, on account of I'm normal. I also don't wear a cape and blue Hanes underwear on the outside of my tights for the same reason. Which is more than I could say for some of the young men there that night. I went because some friends were going and I decided to try living a little as a way to stave off wrinkles and menopause.

Only here's the thing. I haven't read the reviews yet (except for one small one) but this was not my favorite Spiderman movie. I'll do the good things first, though.

Good things:

Opening credits. They were awesome. I want to see them again.

That hot Harry Osborn gets amnesia and morphs back into a normal, happy human being for a while and is all cute and funny and grinny with the crinkly eyes. I enjoyed that. He has a lovely smile, as it turns out.

Topher Grace. I love him even when he is playing a bad guy and has freaky sharp teeth. He's just that snarky an' cute.

There were some really good moments of Spiderman being pretty awful and cruel. They were impressive.

The Sandman's story is sad and sweet and he made me cry and I was never actually mad at him.

Now, bad things:

That movie was forever long, and they could have cut out some stuff. Watch out for the omelet-making scene that lasts like 15 minutes while you're sitting there thinking, "The heck? It's an omelet! Move along, people!"

There was some sloppy writing--people said and did completely unlikely things (or didn't say or do the natural, reasonable thing) just so that the story would go where the writers wanted it to. Look for the "Meh, it's probably just a bird" line as an example.

So Peter Parker turns all bad and evil and does horrible things, and then suddenly we have to watch 20 minutes of him strutting up and down the street being all dancey and cocky and silly like something out of Jim Carrey's The Mask to show that he's different now. That's when it kind of seemed like we were suddenly watching a completely different movie. It's true the Tobey Maguire cracked me up doing it, but I got more and more exasperated as it went on. "The crap!?! He just blew up Harry and broke up with MJ and we don't even know what's going on and bad things are happening out there and why is it that all we're seeing is Peter prancing up and down the street like a complete lurp???" It lacked focus.

The way you know Peter is being evil is because he starts looking like he's in a band--I swear I saw that hair on every goth teenager boy in the UK.

There were way too many villains and none of them got enough screen time. Thanks for that, Prancing Pony.

So MJ is this famous model-slash-actress and because of one bad review the only work she can find is as a singing waitress? I hope she doesn't actually pay that agent of hers.

The butler scene at the end: What. Freaking. Ever. Also, where was he with that information for the last 5 years, huh?? Another example of the slopping writing.

But do go see it, because there are lots of good parts. Just be prepared to sit there and wonder every now and then if the creative team is on drugs, and not the good kind.

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Breakthrough

For my previous meditation sessions, of which, all of them are self-learnt, only lasted around 10 to 15 minutes.

Guess what?

I accomplished a session that lasted for one solid hour just now, and I tell you, it feels smashing. I got so addicted into the overwhelming sense of well-being or heightened awarness inside, that I had to actually force myself to stand up. Otherwise, I'd continue to sit for hours, until someone enters my room and breaks my meditation, which will be disasterous.

I wonder what will it feel like when I actually do my 3 day long stint next year, it must be Heaven. Just sit, be aware, appreciate the well-being, and be truly holy. I could hardly wait.

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Continuing on the gas theme

My sweet sister Spitfire sent this email forward out to the rest of the family.

FW: No Gas On May 15th 2007

Don't pump gas on MAY 15th
In April 1997, there was a "gas out" conducted nationwide in protest of gas prices. Gasoline prices dropped 30 cents a gallon overnight. On May 15th 2007, all internet users are to NOT GO to a gas station in protest of high gas prices. Gas is now over $3.00 a gallon in most places.

There are 73,000,000+ American members currently on the internet network, and the average car takes about 30 to 50 dollars to fill up. If all users did not go to the pump on the 15th, it would take $2,292,000,000.00 (that's almost 3 BILLION) out of the oil companies pockets for just one day, so please do not go to the gas station on May 15th and lets try to put a dent in the Middle Eastern oil industry for at least one day.

If you agree resend this to all your contact list. With it saying, ''Don't pump gas on May 15th"

Within 30 minutes of receiving her email, I sent her a link to the Urban Legends Reference Pages article debunking the idea and my other sister Jenny supplied a similar article. Because we're just rabid, rabid wolves like that who live for this kind of thing so we can swoop in and start picking off the young vulnerable herd members with our rightness and Internet sleuthing skills. Spitfire is very good about it--she knows this is our way.

My article says one-day gas-outs don't really have an effect (and never have, according to Jen's article--that bit about 1997 is totally made up) because people aren't buying less gas, they're just buying it on a different day. It doesn't bother the oil companies because they know we'll just be filling up on the 14th or the 16th. Driving & consumption habits haven't actually changed.

If we wanted to make a difference we would need to actually cut down our gas consumption, either through carpooling, biking, public transportation or even just plain planning our schedules better so that we make less trips. Everyone complains about the high gas prices, but it's easier to complain and make namby-pamby protest attempts (which don't actually cost us anything or inconvenience our lives in any way) than it is to give up the convenience of driving everywhere, all the time.

Take the Montgomery Bus Boycott. Those people found alternate transportation for a year until the law changed and the buses were desegregated. The personal inconvenience was worth the message they were trying to send out and the changes they were trying to effect. There was none of this "Well, we'll just ride the bus at a different time of day, and that'll show 'em" silliness.

So sure, I'll stay away from the gas pump on May 15. I don't think it'll make a difference, though. If people didn't buy gas for a month then we might see something. And I'll just look for more occasions to ride my bike, secure in the knowledge that in my own small way I'm Sticking it to the Man.

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Finally!

The Inner Party welcomes Comrade Ling to the Party! Now you are no longer one of those filthy animals that we buy razors from on the black market - you are now a comrade, an ally, a competitor, a prey. Your future has suddenly become very predictable: You either climb or fall, betray or get betrayed, prosper or die. Wear your blue overalls with pride. Hopefully it will not be stained with blood in the sterile cellars of the Ministry of Love to soon. So, have a glass of your new beverage Victory Gin and enjoy your new life as a human being! Welcome, Comrade! We are the dead.

==========

All I can say is I am inwardly grateful for the love of Big Brother and Ingsoc, of which both knows no boundary.

All Hail BB! Vic to Ingsoc! Death to Goldstein! Death to Eurasia and Eastasia!

==========

And, I find so much meaning in Ingsoc Officer's signature - The more the Party becomes, the less tolerant it will be; the weaker the opposition, the tighter the depotism. Especially for The Authoritarian State of Singapore.

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Yeah, I'm a biker

So I've started riding my bike and today I rode it to work and back for the first time.

Good things about being a bike rider:

It makes me cool and environmentally friendly.

It's like walking, but better. You can still smell the pretty flower smells and admire the sunrise/sunset over the fields and enjoy the fresh air, but you actually get to where you're going in a reasonable amount of time.

I'm not spending gas.

I'm helping to raise awareness in this fine city of Logan that not everyone is in a car, okay? Turns out that if you were in a wheelchair in this town and tried to get anywhere you'd be screwed. And stranded. And possibly dead. Sidewalks either don't exist or they just stop and then suddenly it's grass. Or manure. There are no bike lanes, and my sense of absolute self-importance will not let me ride in the gutter where the gravel and glass are. I will be on the road, albeit on the far right side, because that is where I have the right to be and those cars had just better deal with it.

Bad things about being a bike rider:

Gnats. Lots of gnats. Turns out there's a third good reason to wear sunglasses (#1 is because they're cool, #2 is because they make it so that I can see objects while outside). When I got to work this morning and changed into a skirt I noticed two gnats smeared into my sunscreen. And later I found one in my ear. That's hot, y'all.

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Aphorisms Of LingNemesis - Version Alpha -

The Aphorisms
of
Ling Nemesis
- Version Alpha -

You reach home and takes a shower. The water washes away all the pretentious qualities of you. Washing away your mask of social pomposity. After that, then you are yourself.

Once you awake, noises of trivial chatter and meaningless songs flood you unbridled. Not having any control over them, you are saturated with unwanted inputs, all day and all night. There will be a point you will be overtaken by them – the incessant noises. You no longer can listen to yourself.

In times of depression, think of absolutely nothing. Make no connections with anything. Visualize a lone man standing atop a tall pole, with all the emotions wallowing at the bottom.

No longer do I believe in Good or Evil. God or Satan. Worship of sound actions should be implemented worldwide.

To believe in something, you have to lie to yourself first.

This world is going retrograde.

Bloodshed. Mankind's first and favourite pastime.

Sui Generis. Dare to be a real individual, dare to be in your own league.

Stupidity. The worst sin to commit.

Facade. The State never thinks for the betterment of her people.

The state of your mind likens to the path you take. Walk along the barren and easy one, your mind would be as clean as a slate, so devoid of growth. And, otherwise.

As mankind advances towards incredible levels of technological and scientific achievements, it also decreases its intelligence.

Human's endless possibilities and immense potential are impeded by social expectations and daily life.

It is a rare sight, in today's age, to witness people holding books on trains or whilst waiting for something. They are consumed by the endless visual distractions of this society.
The human destiny is forever limited by the idiocy of bureaucracy and the excesses of social expectations.

To experience anger, lust, jealously and hatred is all part of the human emotional spectrum. In the course of seeking enlightenment, do not attempt to eradicate emotions. Let it flow around you, see it inflate and then subsequently fade away, but do not engage yourself into it.

Leaders around the world should learn from Marcus Aurelius – the real Philosopher King of Ancient Rome.

Do not get involved with the wild discussion of superstitions and untruthful speeches and slanders of that similar quality. It hinders the clarity of the mind.

If possible, remain completely still and quiet at all times.

Religion is a thing for the weak minded, who needs things to believe in. People who cannot believe in oneself. Religions are created by people, for people.

It is not the culture that makes you. It is you who makes the culture.

Dictatorships and despotism will, and never, ever work. Same goes for imperialism and monarchism. The leader will never represent its people.

Democracy can only work when there are no spoilt votes. A rare occasion.

Homosexuals, homopobes, people who chooses to practice a different sexual lifestyle should be sanctioned, as long as life is not endangered. Just like how one has a certain preference for a genre of music, the same freedom of choice should be implemented here.

I rather look at a decaying corpse with legions of maggots devouring the cadaver than to take a glance at religious doctrines or to listen to mindless chatter of people.

To be free from stereotyping entirely is only considered to have attained total freedom.

Capitalism – our contemporary economic saviour and our impending mass-murderer.

The notion of Communism is a filmsy one, albeit fantastic. The proletariats could never rise up to the bourgeois, let alone command the entire state. Socialism is a better idea.

-

Thank you for reading.

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