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Tuesday 31 July 2007

Watch what you read

So this article is really interesting--and one of the freakier things I've heard lately. A bookstore employee had the FBI turn up and grill him about what he'd been reading earlier that week in a coffee shop. (It was a left-leaning article criticizing the post-9-11 media.) Apparently someone else in the coffee shop thought this guy was a threat to national security. You know, because he was reading.

Crazy times we live in. Kind of makes me want to go read Al-Qaeda propaganda in an airport, since this is A FREE COUNTRY AND THAT IS MY CONSTITUTIONAL RIGHT, THANK YOU VERY MUCH.

pic from the The Institute for Public Affairs

Not likely to reassure my married friends

I had a thought a few days ago that is probably going to send me straight to hell.

I'd been chatting with a friend about The Dating Scene, which is pretty much bound to come up any time two or more aged spinsters get together--along with cats, shingles, and the fact that our hot young bodies are going completely to waste. She mentioned that there just don't seem to be enough guys to go around. One example of this is my singles ward, where there are loads of attractive, nice women. There are also quite a lot of attractive, nice guys but it seems that only a small percentage of them are doing The Dating. I'm not sure what the rest of them are up to, but my speculations are not kind.

So I was thinking about this and about The Dating Pool. Unbidden, this rose from the murky depths of my thoughts: "Well, there's the divorce rate. Give it a few years and we'll have some more available guys."

When this registered, I kind of wanted to slap myself. Because what a way to think about things! I remember being horrified by the best-friend character played by Carrie Fisher in When Harry Met Sally. She kept Rolodex of available men and when a guy got married she dog-eared the corner of their card rather than ripping the card out and burning it.

And now I've become her. Perfect.

I blame society. I can feel comfortable blaming society because shortly afterwards I came across another girl who's had the same thought.

Note to my dear married friends: I am not checking out your husbands. Your shoes, possibly. Your KitchenAids, definitely. But not your husbands.

Monday 30 July 2007

Speaking of vain repetition

So in our Church we don't really memorize set prayers. The idea is that we should think about what we're saying and keep things simple and sincere. (Matthew 6:7)

Only here's the thing. We still totally do it the "vain repetition" thing--we just keep it to talks & testimonies most of the time.

All you LDS people how there, how many times in your life have you heard (or used) the following phrases?

for those of you who don't know me, my name is ________ -- Um, yeah, of course this is for the benefit of those who don't know you. Who else is it for? Your mom? Why not just say "Hello, my name is _____"?

the evils of pernography -- I am absolutely up for hearing about this. I just wish they would call it por-nography. "Pernography" makes me think of dirty mags that farmer boys read behind bales of hay.

I would be truly ungrateful if I didn't get up here today. . . -- I've decided I'm against the word truly. It just bothers me. Also, stop sniveling.

. . . with every fiber of my being -- Just. Don't. Don't say that.

We'd like to thank the priesthood . . . -- Actually, you would like to thank a group of young men who hold the priesthood. They themselves are not "the priesthood." Sorry, guys.

Not having grown up in 'the mission field' . . . -- Don't even get me started on the whole "mission field" thing, which is meant in Utah and Southern Idaho to refer to places that are not Utah and Southern Idaho. It implies that Utah and S.I. are not places where missionary work needs to be done, which is absolutely untrue.

I had the opportunity to . . . -- I imagine this is our way of trying to make everything seem like a positive learning experience, but it gets way out of hand. "I had the opportunity to go camping in Southern Utah." "I had the opportunity to get my first colonoscopy." Just say "I went," people.

If these individuals could please stand as their names are called -- What's up with calling everyone "individuals"? What about "people," "men," "women," "brothers," "sisters"? Why "individuals?"

I wonder if members of the Church in other parts of the world use the same phrases, just in translation--like did they pick it up from missionaries and others who grew up using them? Or do they have their own phrases that get trotted out over and over?

I realize that this happens for logical reasons. One might be that when we get up in front of a group of people we get nervous, and it's easier to grab for familiar, pre-approved phrases when we're under pressure. Also when you use them then everyone knows that you're a real Mormon and not an impostor who is about to betray himself by saying "people" instead of "individuals," which is when things get ugly and the sheep's blood comes out.

Only here's the thing: the talks and testimonies and speeches that get remembered are the ones that don't sound like everyone else's. I know I've tried over the past year or so to cut out those phrases and just keep it simple. I'm trying to really think about what I'm saying and how I'm saying it. Yes, it's more difficult, but I think it helps me to sort through my feelings and to be able to express them as they are, rather than as I've heard them expressed by other people hundreds of times before.

I left my list at home this morning so I'm sure there are others I'm forgetting. Anyone want to help me out and add to the list?

Saturday 28 July 2007

Warning: Contains Profanity

I like to think that I have a sophisticated sense of humor. But then I watch something like this and I realize that no, no I don't. Because all it takes is a song where Hugh Laurie sings the word "ass" a whole bunch in a Southern accent to leave me yelping and shrieking on the floor.

Although . . . if Hugh Laurie thinks it's funny too then maybe my taste is just fine. After all, he is British. And brilliant.

Also? He and I should probably just stop this "will they or won't they" dance we're in and just get married already.

Happy Weekend, y'all.

Thursday 26 July 2007

Let's make the world a better place

The other day I got my hair cut at a new place. Spitfire recommended it. It's one of those cheapish places that used to be a Fantastic Sam's but was then bought out. The kind where a haircut and style costs $10. But Spitfire says she's gone there several times and has always been happy with what they've done.

So I went and the girl did a great job. I got a cut, style, and highlights for $35. Woot!

BUT, as we were talking, we got around to the subject of managers we've had and frustrating work situations we've been in, and she told me this gem: The owner of the salon does not give them raises. At all. Ever. I asked how that works out with the whole cost of living increase and she says they just don't get anything. The owner says they can feel free to raise their rates once they get a loyal clientèle, but I think that's kind of ridiculous. This isn't a fancy schmancy salon. It's the kind of place people go to because they don't want to spend a lot of money on their hair. If the prices get raised they'll just go someplace else, or they'll ask for a cheaper stylist.

So of course there is a lot of employee turnover at this place. But there is one woman who has been working there for 5 years without a raise. Which basically means that she's earning less now than she was 5 years ago.

I swear it's like there's crack in some people's water.

This did get me thinking, though, about an article I read once. The writer said you should start a notebook and keep it throughout your working life. For every job (or every manager) you have, you write down the things that you like about their style and the things you most definitely do not like. That way when you get to be a manager you might actually reap some benefit from all those nights when you raged to your friends/parents/goldfish about how if your boss gives you One More Reason then you will quit in some huge blowout gesture that will most likely involve profanity, gasoline, and matches.

So. I want to start working on my list of Things To Not Do When I'm Running the World. Most of these are possibly but not necessarily absolutely taken from managers I've had in the past. Because I've had lots. And if any of them stumble across this and recognize themselves, well then I think they know what they need to start working on. And they should probably thank me.

The List

When my employees make mistakes, I will reassure them that it's okay and that they're not fired and that they're not even in trouble because it's the kind of thing that could happen to anyone (if indeed that is the case). I will not immediately afterwards blab to everyone else in the office exactly what they did so that I can hold them up as a bad example.

I will not expect my employees to become my surrogate family/friends/children, or to treat each other as such.

I will not cry in front of my employees. Unless I have to because I've just fallen down the stairs or something, because that would really hurt.

I will not inflict my own freakish preferences of desk cleanliness upon people to such an extent that it impedes their ability to work.

I will not come to work if I'm so hopped up on medication that I don't even know what the crap I'm saying or doing.

I will not begrudge people their vacation time, or make judgments about whether or not I feel they're using it on worthwhile things. It's Not. My. Business.

I will not tell racist or sexist jokes in the workplace, and I will bring the smack down on people who do.

I will be willing to stand up for my employees if they complain about a working situation that is truly unacceptable.

When hiring, I will not ask illegal questions about religion, race, family, or family planning. I will not completely disregard single female applicants and instead just hand the job to some guy with 5 kids because "he needs it more."

So. That's just the beginning of my list. Anyone want to help me out here with their own contributions? Make those comments as long as you want. If you're feeling positive, you could also include some items of things your bosses have done that you've really admired or appreciated as well!

Wednesday 25 July 2007

British Man Candy, continued

A couple of weeks ago I watched Under the Greenwood Tree. You remember I'd been worried about this one since it was written by Thomas Hardy. I didn't want to watch some movie where the bodies of disenchanted, disenfranchised villagers get piled up under the greenwood tree. (Side note: during a Study Abroad we went to Thomas Hardy's house in the countryside and I wondered how anyone who lived in such a beautiful place could write such depressing things. But it turns out that he can do light romantic comedy as well, so that's something.)

The movie is relatively short at 90 minutes and it's more a sweet story about village life & intrigues than grand big passions. The pretty schoolteacher moves into town and three men fall for her. That's about as complicated as it gets. But there's lots of fun local flavor. Also, there's this one part where the hero is shirtless, which, like, never happens in these movies! So that was kind of awesome if only for the novelty of the thing.

Anyway, moving on.

Ever since watching North & South I've had a thing for Richard Armitage. So when I found out he's in the BBC's new series "Robin Hood" I ordered it for the library. And then took it home. Because that is what is called perks, madame. Anyway. Armitage plays the broody bad Guy of Gisborne. And ohhhhh, does he play him well.

It's just too bad that he isn't in a better show. It's pretty cheesy, and the actual Robin Hood kind of bugs me. A lot. He looks like he belongs in a boy band rather than in Sherwood Forest, and he's way too "Oh look how cute and cheeky and smirky I am with my 12-year old self!" You know it's bad when you wish that Robin could just die already so that the evil Guy can drag Marian off into the woods.

Tuesday 24 July 2007

Pain - Shut Your Mouth (live at Metal camp 07)

I am so jealous of Vika! I cannot take it!

Bits and pieces

I am in no mood to write paragraphs, so I shall do it very simply.

Comrade Secretary Kirov got me a Russian name, it is called Lamzira Shuilandzhe. Lamzira means temple. Hmm, I have no idea, but it looks smashing, that's all I know. Thanks Comrade Kirov!

Welcome back to normalcy, Vika! Yes I have missed out on Metalcamp. =(

Read the final 2 or 3 chapter of Harry Potter Seven at Borders this afternoon, man, I realised JK Rowling cannot write for nuts, I think I am the only linguistic critic here, I would rather read online fan-generated fictions. All others chooses to focus on the (cheesy) plot. And yes, the plot is absurd. How could a dark wizard of many lives and great accumulated power be defeated by a mere teenage, 7 times! Seven goddamned times. I do not get it. And I refuses to believe it, too.

Otherwise, I am starting to read Dune: Bulterian Jihad a day ago. It looks good! At least better than Hunters of Dune, which looks extremely sloppy and the writings could be accomplished by a secondary school student. Blah!

And. Holy cow. It's only Wednesday tomorrow. *sigh*

"Every time you see a rainbow, God is having gay sex." - Comrade Kirov.

Monday 23 July 2007

It is time to speak of British Man Candy

HOW excited am I about the new Elizabeth: The Golden Age trailer? First off, it's rated PG-13 instead of R. Second and most importantly they've traded in mopey-pants Joseph Fiennes for Clive Owen. That is the kind of upgrade I can live with.

Weekend report

Am back from the Utah Shakespearean Festival in Cedar City. So much fun. It was just this wonderful revolving door of plays and food, food and plays. What could be more glorious?

First let's do quick mini-reviews of what we saw:

Lend Me a Tenor is a new musical based on an older play. The basic premise is that an opera company in 1930s Cleveland is putting on Othello and have paid the big bucks to get a famous Italian tenor to come sing the title role. First he's late, then he gets sick, and then he kind of seems dead in his hotel room. So the sweet geeky manager Max (played by Jered Tanner who is my new geeky boyfriend) gets roped into impersonating the tenor so they don't have to cancel the performance. Hijinks ensue.

Review: The first act was absolutely, wonderfully brilliant and hysterically funny. I didn't know how they were going to live up to that/surpass it in the second act. Turns out they kind of couldn't. And some of the songs are a bit forgettable. But it was still loads of fun and I'd definitely recommend seeing it. The hope is that this play will get picked up by Broadway. I don't know if it will or not, but best of luck to them if it does.

Twelfth Night came next and was really good. My new bf Jered played The Fool and had a hilarious belly-dancing scene. Other highlights: Michael Sharon, who I'd seen before as Lancelot, played Orsino and is my second new bf. I didn't fully appreciate The Hotness before. The is possibly because Lancelot never stripped off and hopped into a fabulous blue-tiled tub. And because I was too busy noticing Brian Vaughn as King Arthur. Brian Vaughn wasn't there this year, though. Not sure what's up with that.


King Lear was, of course, depressing. But the good kind. I think the other title should be "People Make Bad Choices and then Kind of Get What's Coming to Them, While Other Good People Just Get the Shaft." Dan Kremer as King Lear was great. Shelly Gaza as Cordelia kind of bugged, which is odd because I really liked her in Twelfth Night just a few hours earlier. Goneril and Regan were just nasty wicked. Also the bit where they gouged out Gloucester's eyes was really well done and awful. I had to close my own eyes for it.


Another really, really big highlight of the festival was that I did not hear one single cell phone ring during any of the performances. Some of you may remember about the last time we were there. Possibly word got out that I'd smuggled bricks in my bag and was going to launch them without remorse at the heads of anyone whose phone went off.


Getting fresh with Will. Don't worry, he liked it.


Spitfire and I goofed off in the gift shoppe until one of the ladies at the counter did the Big Sigh of "I hate my life and I hate these girls even more." But then I asked her a couple of questions and bought a poster from her, which I think strengthened our relationship considerably. The gift shop is fun because it gives you a hint of the kind of people who come to these things. The merchandise seemed geared toward three distinct audiences:

Shakespeare/Theater Lovers (books, plays, posters about Shakespeare and acting)
Rabid Anglophiles (imported English chutneys and candies)
Goth/Medieval people (fairy & dragon posters)

The first night we drove up the Canyon to Cedar Breaks, which is beautiful. Check it out:



And that was my weekend. I'm already thinking about which plays I want to see next year.

Sunday 22 July 2007

I await...

Exactly 4 months from now, I will be a free person. Free from academic obligations and the shit bureacracies of the college administrations.

I have been waiting to walk out of the school gate with a grin, knowing inside I have finally survived the worst yet phase of my life. I can't wait for that day - 22th November 2007 9.15am. Simply, cannot fucking wait.

In the meantime, I will have to salvage my maths and chemistry, in order to say proudly, I am done with the fucking insane JC education!

Can't wait.

Friday 20 July 2007

Aww

Today was a relatively good start to an even greater weekend, I woke up rather early for a saturday - 9 plus am. Had a nice cuppa tea and was still wondering where did my burnt copy of Burzum's Hvis Lyset Tar Oss went. So I went to sift throught my morass of CDs and DVDs, no, I did not find the Burzum CD. Instead, I found all my old CDs that I have bought in my lower secondary school days - mostly rock compilations.

Wow!, I went, and I popped them into my player, hoping in vain to recapture the lost memories of my early teenage years. Yes it did recapture quite abit of memories. The CD that accompanied me in my secondary 1 KL School Trip, still so fucking good. All the scenes of me in the tour bus with the greatest class I have ever been in - Felicity, flooded back. The ferryride to see fireflies. The scene of having seafood dinner amidst the trip. The long climb towards the peak of Batu Caves. The cold-like-fuck hotel the school spent the night, we played hotel catching until the wee hours, and finding ourselves drugged with fatigue the next day. The barely enough time to shop at the insanely huge shopping centre - KLCC, where I remember I bought a X-ecutioners' CD from. The confessional session on the tour bus, where SiPing and KaiLing made me say who I liked, I said, "Alden." LOL. The photo-taking session at Malaysia's Government house - Putrajaya. I am amazed how I could remember such details. And also, it made me realised how fast time has gone by, and how great Felicity was as a class. I miss my days at NCHS, at Felicity, alot. I only can say I did not treasure my time there, which is a real loss and pity. Ah wells. I'm going to remain in close contact with those great people for a long long time, I foresee. Besides, knowing the fact that I have known Yvonne, Jia Hao, Aaron for around 8 to 10 years is really mind-blowing, knew them since my middle primary school days.

I guess it's a great thing to do, to recall the past happenings in one's life, it could be an overwhelming experience. Do it yourself, it's truly amazing.

I miss Felicity,
Ling, 21.

Thursday 19 July 2007

Don't really know if this is a pro or a con

But there's a man who's becoming a bit of a fixture in town. I first noticed him a few weeks ago while I sat at a red light on Main Street and heard someone shouting. This guy crossed the street in front of me, shouting about we must repent to prepare for the Second Coming of Christ.

My first thought: "????"

My second thought: "Please please please don't let this guy be Mormon."

My third thought: "Aw crap. He so is."

I know because I caught a glimpse of his garment bottoms peeking out from the leg of his shorts. My note to all LDS males who wear shorts: Make ye not the same mistake. It's disrespectful and sloppy and not at all an attractive basketball-playing look. And I can't believe that you guys don't get more grief for that when you're trying to lecture us about one-strap backpacks. Anyway.

I've noticed the Shouting Preacher a couple more times since then, always standing off Main Street and shouting at the cars that pass. On Monday he actually made his way into the local paper. I would link to the article but I can't find it online. Seems the good people of The Herald Journal don't really to want you to read their articles unless it's on that one day and you're holding or at least subscribe to the print version. Oh yeah. They're winning me over.

The basic gist of the article is that this gentleman is from Latin America and that he was difficult to interview because his answers tended to consist entirely of quotes from the Bible and the Book of Mormon. I've sat in Sunday School classes next to people who do that, so I can imagine a bit of what that reporter was going through. So most of the quotes in the article come from other people who know him or have been told by him that they're going to hell. Some people called the cops about him, but the cops pointed out that even in Utah we have that little thing known as the First Amendment, and so as long as the guy isn't threatening anyone he can stand and shout as long as he wants. Other people have phoned in, concerned that he might need professional help or welfare services. I don't think he has a job, on account of I've seen him out preaching at all times of the day.

I don't really know what to make of it. I feel bad for the guy because I'm sure it's likely that he has a couple of screws loose. And it's slightly uncomfortable to be shouted that I need to repent. I mean yeah, it's true, but does he have to yell about it? And it's also just kind of funny and one of those quirky things you just have to shake your head at. I bet the guy's bishop is tearing his hair out over this one. But really, what can anyone say?

"Um, you look like a nutter and that's really not the image we're going for right now. Yeah, it was okay for Noah and them to do stuff like this but could you please tone it down? What if you just do the yelling in your head? Would that work?"

Here's the scoop.

So I feel the time as come to dish about L****. I've been here for nearly 7 months and now I'm an expert.

But first I need to give you a bit of background so you know the kind of place I'm talking about. From my limited observations, people here are generally here either because they and all their family grew up here and they can't imagine living anywhere else, or because it drew them with its allure and they knew they'd finally found Their Place. They love it here. And power to them.

Don't get me wrong, there is a lot here to love so I completely support them in loving it. Trick is, from the moment I arrived it seemed like they all expected me to love it as much as they do. Which is difficult for me to do, because after moving around so much I tend to have a rather short-term view of things. I'm not usually deciding if this is a place I could love forever, more if it's good enough for now. And no matter what I say in praise of my new home, it kind of isn't enough to satisfy some people.

Resident who Loves L**** So Much They Want to Marry It: "So, are you from here then?"

Me: "No, I just moved here this year."

RWLLSMTWTMI: [eyes lighting up] "And do you love it???"

Me: "It's very nice."

RWLLSMTWTMI: "Hmmmm. And where did you move here from?"

Me: "I've moved around a lot the last little bit, but I was in Provo for awhile."

RWLLSMTWTMI: [with dismissive wave] "Pssshht. Provo. I bet you're so happy to be out of there. I've been there it's just better up here."

Turns out that a lot of Aggies (Utah State University mascot, something to do with farming) think there's a rivalry between them and BYU. I was stunned to learn this, as most BYU students who are not from Utah have never even heard of USU. I certainly hadn't. Our actual rival is the University of Utah with its godless coffee-drinking, BYU-statue-spray-painting ways. When Jen and the kids were up this week, we took them to USU's ice cream shop. Out of nowhere, with vanilla ice cream smeared all over her face, Savvy started yelling, "Go Cougars!" When we tried to shush her and say that up here it's "Go Aggies!" she shook her head and said, "No! GO COUGAAAARRSS!" And then little Ethan, with Aggie Blue Mint on his face, sat up and started crowing it as well.

Have I mentioned that I love them?

Anyway. Because I lived in Provo and now I live in Logan I am viewed as somewhat of a refugee who has Seen Horrible Things. And I've learned that no praise of their native land is enough to please the Valley Dwellers. The only really acceptable response is for me to throw myself on the ground, kiss the soil, and sob about how I've searched and searched my whole life but Now I've Come Home.

Tuesday 17 July 2007

Any updates?

This is how Spitfire couches it when she asks us about our life. It has rubbed off on the rest of us.

Since no one has made me shoot fire out my eyes lately, that's all you're going to get. I'm sure it's just a matter of time, though . . .

Updates

Went to a pool party on Monday night. The host and most of the invited males stayed upstairs for most of the night while all the young, hot, bathing-suit-wearing girls cavorted in the pool and hot tub alone. This is possibly why the species is going to die out.

Jenny & Co came up today and we played. Met up with Amyjane & Patrick and Desmama and her kiddies. I looked around at one point--we were all sitting on the floor chatting while children swarmed around and launched themselves from lap to lap. Patrick discovered that I was willing to flip him upside down and dangle him by his ankles, which is how I Buy Toddler Love. It felt a bit like we were in a commune where there were no actual mothers but a bunch of interchangeable boob people.

Am leaving Friday morning for the Utah Shakespearean Festival. Huzzah! Must dig out my flower & ribbon wreath to wear with my tavern wench costume.

Been a week.

So what's new for the past week?

Well, nothing really exciting has occured, actually, with the exception of the fact that Jaspas decided to be a lizard for a day when I, Val and Stuart paid him a visit last Saturday. That was really whacked. Nonetheless, it was an attempt to distract me from the fact that they all were filming for the Channel U deal at the same time.

On the other hand, Vika is off to Tolmin for a week of Hell over Paradise - Metal Camp. She said it's the next best thing since digital watches, I have to agree. Well, I will have to settle with my mp3 player, sigh.

Academic matters, only my biology grade is decent, bleh. Need to work more on Chemistry and Maths, those damnable subjects.

I have gotten Rebirth of Dissection DVD a few days ago, I must say it's really a pity that Dissection is no longer. They really had a tight performance in the DVD. \m/

Blah, more work to be done, A levels, get over fast, will you?

Monday 16 July 2007

Women of the world

When I was down in Provo last weekend I took Savvy out with me to run some errands. I had my booty-shakin' CD on in the car. The song "Hung Up" by Madonna came on and after a minute or two of listening quietly, Savvy spoke up.

Savvy: What is this song?

Me: It's called 'Hung Up.' It's by a lady named Madonna.

Savvy: Oh.

Me: Do you like it?

Savvy: Yes, I do.

pause

Savvy: [deep, deep sigh] Girls always sing this song . . .

As if she'd taken the weight of the collective females who have lived, ever, on her tiny little shoulders.

Me: Yes. Yes they do.

Savvy: I'm too young to sing this song yet.

Me: I very much hope that's true.

Because so help me if that James has already broken her heart and made her understand The Cross We Women Bear then he and I are gonna have words. Also I might just break all his Star Wars toys. On purpose.

I was going to post the music video up here but after watching it I think maybe I'm not going to. Some of the dancing is great, though, even if you do see more of Madonna's admittedly toned-as-if-by-witchcraft rear than you planned on a Monday morning. You can go see it here if you want.

Friday 13 July 2007

The post with the nudity

So this morning while I was in the shower, naked, (see? nudity!) I was thinking about that yearly ritual, even the First Full Shave of the Summer. I'm sure there are ladies who will back me up on this, but I just see no point for me to shave above the knee in the winter. First off, I have better things to do in the morning--like blog and eat peanut butter with a spoon. Secondly, I live in a cold place which brings forth the agony that is shaving goosebumps. Oh my word, the goosebumps.

The 4th of July was the first time I got all swimsuited out for the year when Spitfire invited me over to her pool. I gave myself a bit of extra time for The Shaving, but it seriously felt like I was in the shower slaving away for about 45 minutes. And my legs are about half the length of normal women's! It didn't help that my razor was AWOL and my roommates are not very on-the-ball about switching to fresh blades. Someone should speak to them.

I was telling Jen about this on the phone later and she asked me why I don't just do the Full Shave more frequently during the winter because then it wouldn't take so long. At which point I had some sort of hormonal blowout about how there's absolutely no point because no one is going to be seeing them or touching them because I am a dried-up virgin spinster and thanks for rubbing it in! She wisely decided that it was time to go, since the yeti was clearly getting fractious.


Wednesday 11 July 2007

A. hem.



SUCKAAAAHHS!!!!

Indian Oven review

There are about a billion different things I want to blog about, and one of these days I'll get myself organized enough to do it. Today, you're going to get a restaurant review. Yes, now you can even get restaurant reviews here at Voice of Reason. A few people have asked and who am I to deny The People?

Shortly after I moved here I got asked out to dinner at the Indian Oven here in Logan. Afterwards we went to the Rock Haus and climbed and I actually did okay until the end when I was stuck about 3 miles up at the way top of the wall and the poor guy belaying down below couldn't hear me yelling that my arms were about to give out and that I wanted to come down now and let me down, curse you and all your family!!!! and so by the time he did understand that I wanted to come down I was kind of a mess. But that's neither here nor there. And no, he never asked me out again.


The best thing, to me, about the Indian Oven is that it's located inside a Sinclair gas station at 720 East 1000 North. You walk in and to the left is a shelf full of Indian market items (and some Cadbury stuff--woo hoo!!) and a door that leads into a small (like 8 tables) dining room.

That first visit I was impressed. The food was great and the service was even better. They do this tomato soup that is quite likely the best I've ever had. It's made with coconut milk and Indian spices and I would pretty much bathe in it if I could. The spinach soup is good too, but didn't cause me to make obscene sounds the way the tomato soup did. At the end of the meal our server asked if we needed to-go boxes. I said yes, and he brought out a box full of new, fresh, hot rice. So, yeah. They're pretty much my new BFFs. It's run by the Singh family and on my way out one of the owners chatted with me and told me a bit about how they got started--they moved up from Salt Lake to Logan a few years ago.

I went back a few weeks ago with a friend to try and introduce him to the glory that is Indian food. We got the buffet, which turned out to be a tiny bit of a mistake. It's a great value ($6.99 or $7.99) and had a lot of variety, but my favorite things weren't out there. They did have chicken tikka masala, which he liked, but some of the other entrees were a bit bland. So I felt like he wasn't getting to try the really good stuff.

And then Cicada and Murray and The Boy came up for a wedding and we all met up there for dinner. My faith in the place was restored. Everything was wonderful, hot, and fast. Cicada and I both agreed that the quality of the food was comparable to the Bombay House in Provo. Sure, the ambiance is a little bit different, but I think that adds to its charm.

Here are some of the dishes I've tried there, and they've all been wonderful:

Lamb Saag
Saag Aloo
Chicken Coconut Kurma
Lamb Tikka
Chicken Tikka
Chicken Makhani
Mango Lassi
Spinach soup
Tomato soup
Vegetable pakora
Plain naan
Garlic naan
Sweet naan
Raita--I like this a bit thicker than they serve it, but the flavor is still good

Entrees are between $8-$13 and the Tomato Soup of Love is $1.99.


naan and chicken tikka masala photo from www.fotosearch.com
Mango lassi photo from www.whatscookingamerica.net

Tuesday 10 July 2007

Those zany Mormons

Because it seems like a day at church can't go by without some kind of blogging fodder appearing before me as manna from heaven, here's the latest installment. This time I was at Jen's ward which is made up of lots of richie families who live on the benches of the Provo mountains, overlooking the valley. (Some of them live in the little flat-roofed homes they built back in the 60s, and others live in these huge Tudor-style monstrosities that are being erected right now.)

Anyway. Church. I will report three things to you.

1) This is just a bit of advice for anyone who teaches, public speeches, anything. Please do not admit to the class that you started frantically searching for the lesson manual at 1:00am that morning, having not so much as glanced at it all week. I mean yeah, we all have those moments, but way to plummet your audience's expectations. Also, if you have an idea for an object lesson and you find that you don't have the necessary materials, please just drop it. Please do not hold up the advertisements section from your Sunday paper and say, "Now imagine that this is a blank sheet of paper." Because I would rather be imagining that I'm in a class with a teacher who is actually using the quite-good manual to teach me things that it would benefit me to hear.

2) Because the lesson was on faith and obedience, one good sister raised her hand to let us all know that we should go see Evan Almighty, because it's about faith and obedience and he's this Senator in Washington and everyone thinks he's crazy for building an ark but he's not, see, and she and her family just thought it was so very cute and enjoyable. I'm pretty sure I died inside for about 5 seconds while she was saying that. The heck?? First off, totally not the place for movie reviews, and second, Evan Almighty??? Did that movie turn out to be good or something without me noticing? Because from the previews it looked like a steaming pile.

3) I sat down next to this really, really sweet lady from Korea who is a single mom and has a really cute daughter. The lady (who is maybe in her 40s) remembered me from those few months last fall when I lived with Jenny & Ed, and she asked how things were going. I told her they were good. She leaned over and patted my hand, saying "You need to find a good husband."

Me: "Wow. Yeah, tell me about it."

RRWLfK: "Yes, you do. But you will, though. Don't worry."

Me: "I try not to. I'm sure he's out there somewhere."

RRWLfK: "Yes. And you will, because you are young and pretty . . . "

Me: "That's very kind of you to say."

RRWLfK: "No, it's true! It's all about time. When it's the right time it will happen."

Me: "Let's hope so."

Then I think she might have turned to the lady on her left and told her the same thing. It was kind of awesome.

An odd thing called school and its generous offerings of pissing you off.

Ever since March this year, I have not been released anytime earlier than 4.30 or 5pm. Today, in the middle of week 3 of term 3, I ended school at a record-breaking time of 2.30pm! What's better is the fact that tuesdays are further reduced to 1.30pm next week onwards. Was quite pleased at that, for a while. The joy was indeed very short-lived as I have to remind myself that I will have to resume my late dismissal times for the rest of the week, ranging from 5pm to 5.45pm. Life just likes to poke fun at us - the miserable homo muggerians-from-srjc. Life, you horrible control freak! Bleh. One amazing thing to ponder, I wonder myself how I managed to survive with my sanity in tact in term 2. I never cease to amaze myself.

They, as in the ever-irritable teachers, told us it's only 4 months plus of hardwork left to set our minds to. Seemed short, and rather managable, after going through one round of revision for Mid Years. However, when you spend almost 10 hours + of the day in the stinking school compound where people are hell-bent to piss you off and to poke around you, asking you endless redundant trivial matters, time is hard to pass by. Sometimes, I just wish I have a little room to hide and be alone in the middle of the school hours. Fucking society, too damned fucking crowded for anyone's health, I must confess. Just leave me alone.

Blah.

[listens to Ensiferum, it's good music!]

Monday 9 July 2007

Red Air Day, Shmed Air Day

This weekend was the big Lavender Days festival in Mona. It was fun, but I think $7 is a bit steep. Especially since they make you pay $2 more to have a tea party with the Lavender Fairy. Cheek.

Also it was exactly 100 degrees out so we couldn't stay too long as our shoes were melting off our feet and we were all about to die from the combined heat stroke and the fact that the air had gone so bad you couldn't even see the nearby mountains. Yuck.

But there was lots to see and do--the kids rode ponies and almost got their hands bitten off in the petting zoo (or perhaps that was just me). We shared a lavender ice cream and I bought a container of fabulous lavender honey.


Sunday morning we drove up to Alta ski resort near Salt Lake City to see the wildflowers before church. It was nice and cool and we managed to get above the haze, which was a great, great thing. I had fun in the backseat with the kids even if my seatbelt tried to kill me when I dozed off. (It's the kind that locks up even when you're not being thrown against it, and so when it locks up and pins you in place and you can't twist around to take it off because you're wedged in between two carseats it's not cool.) Savvy and Ethan fed me Wheat Thins and graham crackers, though, which helped to stave off the hysteria.





Jen made us wonderful foods like chicken tikka masala, Thai fried rice w/pineapple, Philly cheese-steaks, and lemon ricotta pancakes with blueberry sauce. I picked loads of plums from the three trees in their front yard and am going to make a plum upside-down cake tonight. Expect pictures.

Sunday 8 July 2007

-

Ok, so there's a slim chance of me doing flourish for the TV screen this time round. My heart is all heavy, but oddly and amazingly, I do not feel, at all, pissed or depressed. I just feel spaced out. I just dislike the fact that it is me who initiated the whole deal and do not get the deal ultimately.

Ah ack it, Loki. At least I can tell myself fair and square I have met Mayhem Themselves.

But still. Sigh.

Friday 6 July 2007

Psalms of Extinction

So, the Mid Year examinations are finally over, of which, I do not wish to continue discussing on. Life is dull already, why make it even more by throwing in more dudgery of the events of the everyday life? Sigh.

To lighten up everyone's dampened mood, if I were to assume everyone is following the emo trend, I have found a great great overwhelmingly-awesome band - Pain, I bought his newest album - Psalms of Extinction. Sweet Shiva! Immediately the most outstanding album produced in the year 2007, besides the disappointing "Eat me, Drink me" effort dished out by MisterSvperstar Marilyn Manson Himself. I grin at the last song, especially, called Bitch. It is just plain yummy. And, this album has its thought-provoking moments too - Just Think Again has several monologues inserted, probing the listeners on current fucked up conflicts and issues and unneeded suffering of children from the conflicts. Inspiring it were, yet at the same moment, sad and helpless. Peter Tagtgren qualifies himself easily into my list of "Revered Persons". In conclusion, I still have to thank Mr Dalvey Neo for introducing me to this band, it was indeed greatly appreciated.

Other matters now, flourishing is going to be featured on two TV shows, as far as the (active) flourishers here know. So watch out for that.

And, thanks to Vika for asking me to read Adam's The Hitchhiker's Guide to The Galaxy. It's highly amusing and I was almost laughing out in public. It's already in my list of favourite books.

Otherwise, blah. Nothing much.

4th of July pics

Remember my plans for the 4th? Well I ended up doing all those things.

Sunbathed at Meg's pool while wearing copious amounts of sunscreen and reading My Sister's Keeper--still got burned.

Listened to the Dec of I--got chills.

Went to the BBQ and ate some of the best (and most) food I've had all summer.

You shall see.


I made red, white & blue cupcakes (the red was strawberry jam inside). I didn't decorate them, on account of I had to run back home and pick up the 15 ears of corn I'd left on the kitchen counter. So I just tossed the carton of blueberries, the bowl of frosting, and my precious toothpick flags at Spitfire and intoned, "You represent our family" on my way out the door. I think she did a great job. She even made a little blueberry border around the outside of the serving platter.


I also did The Corn and then forgot to take a picture. Because I'm smart like that, and I was too busy swooning. You grill an ear of corn, rub it down with sour cream, sprinkle it w/paprika, and then roll it in asiago cheese. Heaven, I promise you. Amyjane and I got the idea from a Martha Stewart Living magazine a few years ago and we've been hooked since.

(Spitfire & Co.)

(Check out our view!)

There was also homemade bread, homemade ice cream, ice cream cake, fresh cherries, potato salad, chips, and enough soda to disintegrate an entire elementary school's worth of baby teeth.

We set off fireworks in the parking lot once it got dark and watched National Treasure on a projector screen against the side of the house.

Also, as an additional not-even-expected bonus? Baby lambs!!!


(Awww . . . Happy Birthday America indeed!)

Wednesday 4 July 2007

Happy July 4!

Logan did their fireworks last night--supposedly so it's not competing with Provo's Stadium of Fire. I was in the stadium at Utah State's campus, which is where they shot them off. A bonus was that we got to hear the accompanying music. The minus was that some of that music was country. But then they moved on to good stuff like the Glory and Saving Private Ryan soundtracks. I tried the "fireworks" setting on my little camera and got mixed results, but here are a few of the pics. It was a beautiful night.





Today I'm going to lounge by Spitfire's pool and tonight some friends are throwing a BBQ. I am very relieved about this because all week I've been hearing about what Jen and her friends are going to eat at their BBQ. This way I won't have to throw myself out in front of traffic in a fit of jealousy and thwarted gastronomic hopes.

Everyone please take a minute to go listen to NPR's annual reading of the Declaration of Independence. I may not go around bawling country music or setting brushfires with my fireworks, but you can't say I'm not patriotic in my own snooty NPR way.

Tuesday 3 July 2007

I weep for the future of the world

When you're an LDS teenage young woman you get told lots of good stuff. A few things I learned from my dear Young Women leaders:

You need to be getting 3-5 servings of dairy per day to prepare your bodies for childbearing

(They should have been telling me to save up for the egg-freezing procedure.)

You should go to Ricks (then a 2-yr LDS college, now BYU-Idaho) or the LDS Business College for a semester or two. It'll make you a better mother, and then you can type up your husband's papers for him.

(I applied to a real school instead. But I had to keep quiet about it because when people found out that's where I'd applied they got all concerned like they didn't want me to get my hopes up: "Well, you know, Rick's is really good too." I wanted to say, "I'm sure it is. And I'm sure your kids will be very happy there. But see, I'm actually smart." And humble.)

You should dress modestly because your body is a temple and it's how you show respect for yourself. And also because it's your fault if boys can't even control their thoughts when they look at you and then they go home and become porn addicts and serial masturbators.

(Yes on the first thing, and I will kick in the teeth of any man who tells me it's my fault he can't keep his mind out of the gutter. Go hum a hymn, you porn-looker.)

Note: Those bits of advice were not necessarily in the lesson manuals. Although it wouldn't surprise me if they were. Those things are so dated and simplistic and culturally narrow that it's not even funny. If anyone here has connections in the Church Curriculum department, y'all need to get on that. Stat.

BUT.

But.

One thing that those dear women spent hours and hours trying to drill into us is the concept that we are precious and loved daughters of God, that we have unlimited potential and important contributions to make to the world, and that there is more to life than teenage angst and worries about whether or not we're pretty or popular enough.

One phrase we had memorized was, "I am of infinite worth, with my own divine mission, which I will strive to fulfill."

Last Sunday in Relief Society I was intrigued to see the teacher write that phrase on the board. She said that she'd been told to pick the topic for the lesson (which, sorry, is so not the rules) and she really wanted to discuss the concept of individual worth.

I thought, "Okay. This could be really interesting. Let's see if we discuss this differently than the way we thought of it back when we were teenagers. Because we've grown and learned some things since then."

Only, as it turns out? Not so much true.

She opened by asking what are some influences that make us as women doubt our worth. A couple of girls mentioned the media, and how it gives us these unreal standards of beauty that we compare ourselves to.

I raised my hand and said that there are a lot of differing expectations out there for what makes a woman successful and worthy, even from well-meaning sources, and so we have to be pretty strong in figuring out with the Lord what His plan is for us and then sticking to that plan without worrying about what other people expect.

Then some more girls made comments about the whole "we don't feel pretty enough."

And then some more girls continued on that theme.

So I'm looking around and wondering when we're going to move on to something different, (like the "with our own divine mission, which we will strive to fulfill") only we never did. And The Pretty was All Anyone Talked About. And the more I thought about what I was hearing the more disturbed I became. In this group of about 75+ women--women in their 20s who are attractive, talented, and educated--all anyone talked about was how they don't feel pretty enough. And what they can do to feel pretty. And what makes them not feel pretty. And how if they're a daughter of God then that makes them pretty so they know they should stop worrying but it's hard.

One right-thinking girl tried to get us back on track by saying, "I think it's important for us to remember that there's a lot more to us than just what we look like. We've got a lot of other things going on in our lives as well." It was like she hadn't said anything.

I just wanted to stand up on my chair and shout, "Wait, what the crap is this? Is this really what you women are worrying about? Seriously?" I mean, I thought you come to this point after high school where you come to terms with that fact that the way you look is just the way you look. Sure, you can dress better, work out, stop doing those hideous bubble bangs that some women still inexplicably hang on to, and maybe address your eyebrows in some way, but that's pretty much where it ends. And then you move on.

Also, what does pretty have to do with having infinite worth? It has nothing to do with it! Pretty does not equal worthy! Pretty is one incredibly small and temporary facet of who you are. So if these women, who have been told from Day 1 that there is more to them than how they look and that what they have to offer is not defined by how pretty they are, and that their lives have meaning and purpose, if these women don't actually believe that then I'm not sure what else can be done. I'm not sure that anyone can say anything that would make them just accept themselves and move on and start thinking about the things that really matter.

And it's not that these girls are shallow, because I don't think they are. It was just alarming to see this dam of insecurities burst. I don't if it's because we're all still single and some girls are worried that The Pretty is part of that, and that maybe if they tried harder or dieted more then they would somehow deserve to find a nice guy. Except I think if you spent the first 30 years of your life worrying about whether you're pretty enough, getting married isn't going to just make all that go away overnight.

From conversations I've had with other girls since that lesson, I know I wasn't the only one who was disturbed. But in the face of this overwhelming thing I don't think anyone wanted to be the one to say, "You know what? This is silly. Let's move on." Because then they might just get turned on as a pretty girl who can't understand what the others are going through.

Also? Right now in our 20s, this is basically as good as it gets, looks-wise. It's all downhill and alpha-hydroxy acids from here on out. As my sister Jenny wisely said, "You go tell those girls to go home, get in front of the mirror, and take a picture of their boobs. And then treasure that picture, because they'll never look that good again."

I'm asking for a few minutes next week so I can do just that.

Sunday 1 July 2007

If thou wouldest believe, thou shouldest see the glory of God

This is a Sunday svithe for a Monday because I never got my act together enough to put it up yesterday.

I was asked to give a 10-minute talk in church on how my testimony has grown as I've read the Bible. I gave the talk last week and worked out my thoughts on the computer beforehand, so for the first time ever I practically had the whole thing written out. I figured I might as well put it up here just in case it could be of use to anyone. Forgive me if the notes are rough--I was just using them as a guide. Also, I realize that I keep using Elder Oaks and no one else. It's not my fault that he gave 2 great talks about the subjects I was interested in.


My Talk

This past year or so my testimony has grown as I’ve come to know the Bible as a source of personal revelation, especially personal revelation of the Lord’s love and concern and plans for me.

2 Timothy 3:15–16 From a child thou hast known the holy scriptures, which are able to make thee wise unto salvation through faith which is in Christ Jesus. All scripture is given by inspiration of God, and is profitable for doctrine, for reproof, for correction, for instruction in righteousness.

Elder Dallin H. Oaks says, “What makes us different from most other Christians in the way we read and use the Bible and other scriptures is our belief in continuing revelation. For us, the scriptures are not the ultimate source of knowledge, but what precedes the ultimate source. The ultimate knowledge comes by revelation.” (Dallin H. Oaks, “Scripture Reading and Revelation,” Ensign, Jan 1995, 7)

We have an open canon of scriptures—the scriptures are not closed and continued meaning and interpretations can come through prophets and through our own personal revelations. Elder Oaks goes on to say . . . “the teaching of the Holy Ghost is a better guide to scriptural interpretation than even the best commentary” (ibid). Not only that but that “scripture reading may also lead to current revelation on whatever else the Lord wishes to communicate to the reader at that time” (ibid). Elder Oaks says the scriptures can be a tool to help us receive personal revelation. So it’s not just the words that we’re reading, but what Heavenly Father is trying to tell us as we read. By reading the Bible we invite the Spirit to teach us.

I was away at school for a year in England. It was a wonderful experience and I am so happy that I went. But it was also a rough year, filled with anxiety and uncertainty. I had questions about relationships and the stress of my program and my uncertain future, with worries about what to do when I’d finished. And yet it was also the year that I learned more about the Spirit and felt more protected and blessed and carefully led than I’ve ever felt before. Most of this guidance came as I read the scriptures.

One experience that was especially meaningful happened when I was troubled last spring about what to do when I finished the program. Where should I live? Where will I go? How long will it take to find a job, and how will I support myself? I couldn't shake the anxious feelings and finally I sat down with the scriptures, said a prayer, and told Heavenly Father that I would keep reading until He showed me something that would help me.

(I know this next bit is kind of cheating because even though the same passage is in the Bible I was actually reading the Book of Mormon at the time. Sue me.) I was reading along as Jesus taught about the lilies of the field, and came to this:

3 Nephi 13:30 – 34

30 Wherefore, if God so clothe the grass of the field, which today is, and tomorrow is cast into the oven, even so will he clothe you, if ye are not of little faith.

(At this point I started thinking, "Wait--is this for me?")

31 Therefore take no thought, saying, What shall we eat? or, What shall we drink? or, Wherewithal shall we be clothed?

32 For your heavenly Father knoweth that ye have need of all these things.

33 But aseek ye first the bkingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things shall be added unto you.

There was my answer: Stop worrying. “Your heavenly father knoweth that ye have need of all these things.” He wasn’t going to let me end up on the streets. And He hasn't. He absolutely took care of me.

This year I had another experience with the Bible. This time the words themselves were not an answer to prayer, but they opened the way for the Spirit to teach me something I needed to hear. In Sunday School one week we read in Luke:

Luke 5: 4-6

4 Now when he had left speaking, he said unto Simon, Launch out into the deep, and let down your nets for a draught.

5 And Simon answering said unto him, Master, we have toiled all the night, and have taken nothing: nevertheless at thy word I will let down the net.

6 And when they had this done, they inclosed a great multitude of fishes: and their net brake.

The teacher went on to discuss this, saying that Simon and the others had been working all night with no results. They were tired and discouraged and didn’t want to keep going. Maybe they even thought they’d been doing something wrong. But they hadn’t—there was a reason why they hadn’t caught anything. It was about the moment that the Lord had chosen for things to happen--and he chose a moment and a way that let the disciples see His power.

This really struck me and I kept working it out in my head as the lesson went on. The Lord asks us to launch out into the deep and let down our nets. Sometimes we feel like we’re not seeing any results, that we must be doing something wrong, that we’re wasting our time. We see this with our callings, our visiting and home teaching assignments, with friendships, family relationships, dating, with work, with school. But we don’t know what the Lord’s timetable is and what moment he has chosen for the nets to fill. We just have to move forward so that when He is ready to show his works and possibly use us as an instrument, we’ll be there.

Elder Oaks gave that great talk on timing when I was at BYU, where he says, “If we have faith in God and if we are committed to the fundamentals of keeping His commandments and putting Him first in our lives, we do not need to plan every single event--even every important event--and we should not feel rejected or depressed if some things--even some very important things--do not happen at the time we had planned or hoped or prayed.” (Dallin H. Oaks, “Timing,” Ensign, Oct 2003, 10–17)

I have one more experience where the Bible taught me about the Lord’s timing and about his absolute care for us. In John we read about Jesus raising Lazarus from the dead:

John 11: 32-40

32 Then when Mary was come where Jesus was, and saw him, she fell down at his feet, saying unto him, Lord, if thou hadst been here, my brother had not died.

33 When Jesus therefore saw her weeping, and the Jews also weeping which came with her, he groaned in the spirit, and was troubled,

34 And said, Where have ye laid him? They said unto him, Lord, come and see.

35 Jesus wept.

36 Then said the Jews, Behold how he loved him!

37 And some of them said, Could not this man, which opened the eyes of the blind, have caused that even this man should not have died?

I saw myself in their question. He could have stopped this—why didn’t He stop it? How often do we ask why Heavenly Father doesn’t prevent bad things from happening to us, or doesn’t send us the good things as soon as we would like them or in the way we think they should come? These were women who had anointed the Savior’s feet. They had such faith in him—why hadn’t he repaid their faith by saving their brother? “I’ve done everything I was supposed to—why are these things happening to me?” What they didn’t know was that because of their faith, not only had he not abandoned them, but he had chosen them to witness the greatest miracle he had accomplished at that point in his ministry.

39 Jesus said, Take ye away the stone. Martha, the sister of him that was dead, saith unto him, Lord, by this time he stinketh: for he hath been dead four days.

40 Jesus saith unto her, Said I not unto thee, that, if thou wouldest believe, thou shouldest see the glory of God?

He raised Lazarus from the dead and restored him to his family. But He also allowed Mary and Martha those 4 days of feeling absolutely helpless and full of despair and wondering why He hadn’t stepped in to help them. They didn’t know that the moment was coming when they would be happier than they could have imagined, but He did.

The most important things I’ve learned in the last year by reading the Bible is that the Lord will use it (and His other scriptures) to speak to us, and that the Lord keeps His promises. If He promises something to us, either through a priesthood blessing, or through the words of the prophet, or through His scriptures, we can have faith that He will do exactly what He has said. He says, “if thou wouldest believe, thou shouldest see the glory of God.” I bear my testimony that this is true.

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