Meet my babies

I think it is time to introduce my sand jars. This is pretty much the one thing that I collect, after a brief pencil-collecting stint in the early 90s. My coolest pencil came from the Smithsonian museum and had a clear body with tiny rocks inside.


I got the idea for the sand collection in a Martha Stewart Living magazine. They featured a photographer's home and in one room they had a huge collection of spice jars filled with sand from every beach their family had been to. Of course, their family had been to places like Greece and Russia and Croatia. Which I have not done so much.

This, to me, seemed like a great idea. It's a free souvenir, and I love going to beaches. Once I started the collection, it was amazing to see the differences between the sands. People who have traveled with me have been very patient with me and my burning need to get sand for my jars. Others have been so kind as to offer to bring back sand for me when they travel. One coworker even brought me back Irish sand from the Dingle Peninsula. I have decided after much thought, though, that I can't keep doing that. The jars have to represent beaches I've actually stood on myself.


So far I have sand from beaches in Alaska, California, Lake Michigan, Florida, Oahu, Kauai, Idaho, Utah, England, Gran Canaria, and British Columbia in about 40 jars. I would like to add sand from Greece, Croatia, New England, and the Bahamas to the mix. So if anyone wants to send me there I promise I'll take a picture of the resulting sand jars and send them to you.


So. What about you? Any other cool collections out there?

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Yeah, it's probably porn

Yesterday I snuck The Higher Power of Lucky home from the library. It's the recent Newbery winner and I wanted to get my chance to read it before it goes on the shelves. Also I just like to get drunk on librarian power like that.

In the first paragraph a character uses the word of "scrotum." He says that his dog was attacked by a rattlesnake (the dog was defending his owner) and that's where he was bitten. I was so appalled by the use of that word that I immediately had a heart attack, died, came back to life, burned the book, and then called all my friends to complain. I'm pretty sure the author only put that in there to make 10-year-olds start having sex with each other. Because that's what happens when you start using correct terminology. Especially if you're talking about animals.

Oh, wait. Actually, I didn't do any of those things, on account of how I'm not completely psychotic. It's too bad that there are so many librarians and parents out there who are, though. One lady from American Fork, UT wrote a review on the Amazon page and said she's so disturbed by the sexual content in the book, and she said her local children's librarian is afraid to put the book on the shelf for fear the children might pick it up and read that word. Daltongirl, I want you to go smack both those women. Will you do that for me?

I haven't finished the book but so far I'm liking it just fine. And for all the idiot parents and pieces of wussy crap librarians out there who are cowering under their beds, two words:

GROW.

UP.

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One who bakes

I baked over the weekend. I've decided that this is something I need to do more of until I stop being so intimidated by it. I'm fine with doing things like brownies from a box, but the actual process of bread-baking seems like this mysterious form of alchemy to me. I'm used to just being able to dump the ingredients together and end up with what I want. This whole process of yeast and rising and starters and sweating and whatever else is just this whole new scary world in which I might accidentally burn down my house.

To get the ball rolling I started with banana bread. It doesn't have to rise or anything, but it does require a loaf pan so that's a step in the right direction. It was good that I did this at my sister's because:

1) She could keep an eye on me
2) She for sure had all the ingredients
3) If the whole thing tanked then I knew there would still be other good foods to eat


To my happy surprise the whole thing did not tank and I ended up with a very pretty & very tasty loaf of banana bread. Even Baby "Hunger Strike" Ethan went for it. This is an encouraging beginning, I feel. I shall be quoting Mrs Elton before too long ("I do not profess to be a gourmet, I only know that my friends think so.")

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Philosophy attempt two!

Not as long as the first one, but still. Have fun with this one!

As mankind advances towards incredible levels of technological and scientific achievements, it also decreases its intelligence.

Human's endless possibilities and immense potential are impeded by social expectations and daily life.

It is a rare sight, in today's age, to witness people holding books on trains or whilst waiting for something. They are consumed by the endless visual distractions of this society.

Life. What is this thing, anyway?!

Yours,
Ling.

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Coming to terms

My sister is becoming this hard-body exercise champ. It's very shaming to me, because she has these two little kids who hang onto her like remoras or leeches or other hangy-on-type parasites. So she creeps out of the house at 6:30 in the snow to go run 6 billion miles or whatever. I'm at her house this morning because I have weekend plans down here and didn't want to drive through THE STORM that is supposed to hit today and bury us all like the Donner party. (p.s. If it comes eating time, I call dibs on Ethan--those thighs are fat.)

She nudged me at 6:20 to see if I wanted to come with her. I had every intention of doing it but didn't sleep very well. I'm a wuss. And I'm just going to have to be okay with that.

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Rofl!

From: Regarding 2007 DN competition discussion.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Erik Merge Sweden and Singapore, please. =)

Wouldn't even be a competition . Thats like putting Gods against Mortals

------

Hahaha! That was evilishly funny.

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American Idolatry

Weeks ago I was listening to my local affiliate of NPR while I drove to work. I listen to NPR because I am pretentious and also because I have yet to find any non-country radio stations up here. The guys were talking about how even though there are all kinds of things going on with the state legislature, KSL News in SLC reported that the highest number of hits on their website were to do with the American Idol auditions.

The NPR guys were pretty funny about it in their dry, dry voices. "So, it seems that even though the state legislature is in session and there are actually quite a lot of things going on that will impact the people of this great state, all you actually want to hear about is this American Idol program. I must say here, publicly, that I do not watch American Idol. Perhaps I'm not the best person to discuss it. However, that appears to be all you unwashed masses care about, so, fine. Let's talk. Let's put our years and years of experience in journalism, broadcasting, and politics to this task. Let's talk about stupid, stupid American Idol and how that one guy from Utah got on there and brayed like a donkey. Let's talk about that instead of discussing the part where your taxpayer dollars, which, really, from what I'm seeing out of you people, should pretty much all go to education. And possibly birth control." (Note: not an actual transcription, but you know that's what they meant.)

It was pretty funny, only tonight? I am not even laughing. I am not laughing because I sat down at 8pm to watch House, which is the 1 television show that I watch. Except for The Office. And Masterpiece Theatre, especially if they're doing some sumptuous literary adaptation like they did the other week with Jane Eyre. Holy crap I did not know that Jane and Mr. Rochester made out on Jane's bed like that. Which . . . whew. I need to go watch me some of that again.

Anyway, want to know what's on instead of my beloved Greg House? Some stupid 2-hour-long version of stupid American Idol. Now I officially hate that show even more. Now it is affecting my life. It has become some sort of bloated whale on a beach somewhere that just needs to get stuffed full of dynamite and blown up like on that one video.

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My sister's kids are potty mouths

I hung out at Jenny's this weekend and she asked me to feed Ethan a carton of yogurt. He took exception to the idea of me feeding him and started freaking out and hitting the spoon out of my hand. Also, he called me a ho. Not verbally, because he's not that advanced yet, but look at that face. He totally meant it. That wasn't even the ugliest one he made. Kid did not like me that day. So I relinquished the carton and watched him make a big, huge enormous mess of himself.

It wasn't until I started singing that "Wind the Bobbin up" song that I got a smile out of him. It's a nursery tune I picked up in England and it goes over really well with the kiddies. Turns out there's a demand here in America for songs about little mill worker sweatshop children.

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Festive mood

Twas a tiring week generally, especially today. I believe I have been out for at least 12 hours today. To keep this paragraph-free, I shall post in point form:

- Witnessed the worst Chinese New Year concert ever, and coincindentally, it was SRJC's. God, it was so uneventful and diluted.
- Went back to NCHS, the place which I missed dearly. It feels odd looking at those secondary school kids, they look small, weird. Lol. Everything looked small, the serving of canteen food, the hall. Ah wells. Not like I'm a Gandalf or anywhere near.
- Hung around NCHS, I was looking at the table where The Felicitians will congregrate in the mornings, and those corridors with much nostalgia, hoping to revert back, thought unsuccessful. Ah, how I appreciate those strong friendships with them, so much joy, so much jokes, it's almost perfect. Okay! Enough of being an emo.
-Met the Good 'ld Mr. Neo and chatted with him, I realised I converse with greater maturity now as compared to those when I was in secondary school. The angst, the rebellion, are certainly gone within me. Bah, I just love how me and him talk, with such cynical tones and sarcasm. I still must hail Mr Neo as the best teacher/guidance I'd ever be bestowed with, for he is paramount, in all ways possible. I have yet to educate him in the ways of ordering a Subway Sandwich, he says it looks complicated. Lol.
- My second favourite teacher, and equally cynical as Mr Neo, Mr Mok left, much to my chargin. He left for SJI. Ah! I can chat about him with Shade and Adam! What a small world.
- Watched Epic Movie despite many obstacles.
- Still preferred Scary Movie series.
- Went home shit tired.

Otherwise, I am in the festive mood. Can't wait to go visiting Jaspas' house, cards, alcohol, red packets, flourishers equals unlimited joy!

I did a roman salute in front of a picture of Herr Fuhrer Adolf Hitler and went insane over the Hitler Youth League's dagger at Caesar's. Rh agreed that I'm a facist pig. I am not! [defenses herself vehemently] The bloody dagger is fucking $189. But it looks fucking impressive as well. Me wants! [writes on Wishlist to Santa]

I am off to watch Volkerball again,
LingNemesis, at your service for more nonsense.
16th Feb 2007 C.E.

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It's all in my head

Last night I wrote a slightly paranoid, angsty email to my Circle of Truth (Daltongirl, Sakhmet, & Cicada). During the night I dreamed that they all wrote back and talked me down with comforting, reality-based words. This was not much of a stretch for my subconscious, because that's pretty much what's guaranteed to happen once they get on the ball and get to their computers. They also told me I was pretty and a wonderful writer, which kind of came out of nowhere but was still appreciated by me. You ladies are the best.

The dream that I hate is my Theme Dream. It's the one where I'm trapped inside a house that is being attacked from the outside. I'm usually babysitting or somehow in charge of young, small, helpless people. I have to run around to lock all the doors and windows before the monsters come crashing through. The house and the monsters change. Sometimes they're werewolves or vampires or really jerky Nazis. Once they were Japanese soldiers--my apologies to the good people of the Japanese armed forces, but I'd probably just watched Paradise Road or some awful thing. It's a scary, scary dream, and it never has a resolution. I just wake up in a panic. I get it when I'm stressed out.

Does anyone else have any recurring dreams they'd like to share?

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Happy Valentine's Day

I usually write "Happy VD" but then I have to go back and fix that lest people get the wrong idea.

This morning I worked out, even if there is no one to appreciate my hot new rock-hard body and excellent cardiovascular health. I have the satisfaction of knowing what they're missing out on, at least. When I got back from the gym my sweet roommates left candy & valentines at my door. Because THEY get the true meaning of Valentine's Day, which is about recreating as much of the elementary-school experience as possible. I have Strawberry Shortcake cards to deliver among my coworkers.

DP told me that the guys in their ward are delivering flowers to all the girls in their ward. (If any of those girls read this, act surprised when it happens, okay?) I think that's a great idea, because flowers are pretty much always a nice thing to get. Unless they come from some kind of stalker who has a homemade tattoo of "[Your name] + [His name] = 4 EVA" carved into his chest. Or a guy who's giving them to you because he's going to break up with you three days later but doesn't want you to feel bad about yourself. No lie, happened to a roommate.

Anyway, this made me think about how I would quite like some flowers, too. So I picked a little carnation bouquet up on my way to work and they look lovely sitting on my desk. I'm going to take half of them to my sister Spitfire on my lunch break, and then we both win. I have decided that this is not pathetic at all, and anyone who thinks differently can just shut their face because I don't care.

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I want to be a liar when I grow up

The storytelling conference I went to over the weekend was great. It's put on by the people who run the Timpanogos Storytelling Festival every year. I laughed, I cried, all of that.

One workshop turned out to be a mistake. It was about the personal transformation power of storytelling. The teacher says that the books & characters that we love tell us important things about ourselves. Which, yeah, I can get behind, even though I don't think that the only reason we might love a book is because we identify with the story or with the character. Because maybe it's a book that your parents read to you when you were a kid. Or maybe it's the first book that you ever stole from someone who trusted you. Things like that.

After that good start, what followed was 90 minutes where we had to determine and discuss which kind of energy we have in our houses. Like, do I have Goddess energy or do I have Damsel energy? Perhaps some Mentor or Avenger energy in there? I kind of wanted to stab myself in the ear by the end of it. The teacher said that once you know what kind of energy people have then you can have better relationships with them. She went into her son's class and told his teacher that he has Trickster energy and so that's why he misbehaves all the time and it's actually quite darling of him. I bet the teacher loved that.

The rest of the conference was fabulous, except for this one part where I fell completely asleep during the big storytelling concert at the end. Only that's just what happens when people stand up with their guitars and sing some really long song about America. I do feel a little bit bad, though, on account of this was the world premiere of their new song. And they could probably see me sleeping. Only they should have tried harder not to be boring, and to awaken my Goddess energy.

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Gahhh. Ugh.

Right now, I feel like murdering myself and my brain. The dilemma is too great. It's not worth it anymore. I just want to snuff it all.

A levels, could you just perform hara kiri on yourself, like now? You are seriously annoying. Toughest shit I have ever encountered in my entire fucking life.

*GAHHHH. UGH.* I yell my battle cry, then in the next moment, emo-ness invaded me again. *It ain't worth it... I need a penknife... Dear diary, the anally-annoying A levels is absolutely depressing...*

Bah!

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The feast of fat things

So I was in Provo this last weekend for a storytelling conference/workshop.

On Friday I met up with Cicada, her MAN, Squirrel Boy, Brinestone, Ambrosia, Bawb, and DP, who does not have a blog but does feature in other people's. It was kind of an reunion in that we all used to work like galley slaves at the same place together and now none of us have t--I mean, none of us get to work there anymore. We had dinner at The Mandarin in Bountiful. Two words: Crab and Cream Cheese Won Tons with Lemon Sauce. Those things were fabulous, and the rest of our meal was great. Also the hostesses wore really cute tops and I need to find out where they got them.

The next night I had dinner at the Bombay House in Provo and ate until I could hardly move. We had Rogan josh, chicken coconut kurma, tandoori chicken, mango lassi, garlic and potato naan. Savvy did really well until Jenny told her she was eating baby lambs.

On Sunday I hauled out my two takeout boxes from the previous nights, filled with heavenly things. Jenny and I dug in and asked my b-in-law if he would like some. He has a thing about leftovers that I've never really understood. Like, he'll eat leftovers at his house, but he'll never touch stuff that people bring home from restaurants. Only then he told me this:

At mealtimes his younger brothers and sisters were really messy, gross eaters, with runny noses and drool and all of that. At the end of every meal his mother would pick up all their plates and scrape them back into the big pot and then serve that food again as leftovers. And he has never been able to get over that.

That pretty much killed my appetite there, so it was a good thing I'd nearly finished eating. I assured him that the food I brought home had come directly from serving dishes and had never touched anyone's personal plate or utensils, but you know what? I don't blame him. I wouldn't be able to get over that either.

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It's nadda tumah

Here are a few great things about being One Who Works Out:

1. I get to toss casual references to fitness into my daily conversations. "Why yes, when I was at yoga this morning . . . " or "You know, the other day when I was at the gym . . . " I couldn't do that before.

2. I felt a lump on my leg and for a minute thought I was dying. "Oh my gosh that wasn't there before and now I'm going to die without ever finding true love!!!" Then realized it was muscle.

Here is a less great thing:

1. The checkout guy at the gym gave me a key for a man's locker. This is about my shoulders, ISN'T IT! Was tempted to march back out there in a sports bra and say, "Hey buddy, they may not be large but they ARE the girl kind, thank you very much." Only I didn't, because I'm a lady. And a chicken.

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the mouths of babes

A lady and her young son were in the library today and the lady came over to my desk to ask me a question about authors. We had a nice little chat while her little boy jabbered away to the guy working at the circulation desk. She and I finished up and I overheard the following conversation between her and Circulation Desk Guy when she went back over to grab her books and her son.

Mom: "Hi, has he been talking your ear off?"

CDG, chuckling: "He is quite the talker . . ."

Mom, chuckling back: "Yeah, he'll stand there and tell you his whole life story if you give him a minute."

Then they left, and CDG called me. Even though I sit about 15 feet away, it's sometimes better than yodeling across the circulation area.

CDG: "So . . . you know the lady who just left? The lady with the little boy?"

Me: "Yeah."

CDG: "Could you hear what that kid was saying to me?"

Me: "No, what was he saying?"

CDG: "Well, one thing he told me is that his mommy and daddy don't share a room anymore."

Me: [gasp!] "No!"

CDG: "Oh yeah. One of them gets the bedroom and the other one sleeps on the couch, there's a whole system. He was telling me all about it."

Me: "My. Gosh."

CDG: "Thought you might appreciate that."

Me: "Oh. I do."

Only now I feel bad that such a nice lady is possibly having marital problems. I also worry about the kid, cuz if his mom ever hears him telling those stories she's going to strangle him.

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Hoo boy

So I finally bought tickets to fly out for my Army brother's wedding, since they finally told us when and where. This is the wedding that was going to be held last September but was postponed. Now it's in Nauvoo, Illinois. Because . . . our two families have so many connections to Illinois.

Oh wait, no. No, we don't.

The bride, some of her family, and my parents will be flying out from Alaska, my sisters and I are flying out from Utah, and the groom is driving (?) up from Tennessee where he's stationed. I suppose you would call this a temple elopement, or at least a Destination Wedding.

Thing about Nauvoo is that it's an LDS church history site, and that's pretty much the only reason why you would go there, unless you just like history and pretty old red brick buildings. It has lots of significance for LDS people. After being kicked out of everywhere else in Ohio and Missouri, the early Mormons built up this beautiful city from nothing and even built a temple. And it was happy times. Then Joseph Smith was killed in 1844, the people were kicked out again and trekked west to UT, and someone burned down the temple. Then a tornado knocked down what was left of it. So . . . not the best of endings, there.

The destruction of the Nauvoo Temple has been rather a sore spot with us for the last 150 or so years. But it was rebuilt in 2002, and historic Nauvoo has become even more of a destination. I always figured I would go someday but didn't imagine it would be for a wedding--and in March, where the average temperature is in the 30s. That certainly wasn't part of my plan. But now that the thing's sorted, and especially since Jen & Spitfire can come too, I'm looking forward to it.

Check out where we're staying. Niiiice.

Also, I hear they have a fudge factory. So if I should ever feel a pang about yet another of my younger siblings getting married before me, I can go stuff myself insensible with fudge of chocolate and peanut butter. Ain't much that can't fix.

(Note: the red building is not the temple--it's the town's Catholic church. The temple is in the next picture and overlooks the Mississippi River as well.)

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Accomplishment.

I feel certainly accomplished. Received the Cingular BlackJack Testimonial from Kiel Figgins. My first official major international milestone in my Flourishing career, a very shining point in my resume.

To all the fuckers in this world who only dareth and thinkth of minute contributions in that filthly small school campus, I say "Hell to you!" Bloody CCAs mean nothing in my eyes. I aim for the international stage. Muahaha!

Flourishing is my vocation. =D

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Extreme boredom.

Thy boredom spawned this.

If I were a month, I would be: Janurary because it's my birthday month.
If I were a day of the week, I would be: Friday Night! =D
If I were a time of day, I would be: 3.15 AM
If I were a planet, I would be: The many-ringed Saturn.
If I were a sea animal, I would be: Stone puffer fish. You can't see me but I can see you. :p
If I were a direction, I would be: Anticlock wise.
If I were a piece of furniture, I would be: Does a coffin qualifies as furniture?
If I were a sin, I would be: Hatred.
If I were a liquid, I would be: My foes' spilt blood.
If I were a body of water, I would be: The many streams of Venice.
If I were a stone, I would be: Emerald because green pleases my eyes.
If I were a tree, I would be: Fig tree
If I were a bird, I would be: Eagle
If I were a language, I would be: Deustch!
If I were a kind of weather, I would be: shady, chilling-to-the-bone weather.
If I were a musical instrument, I would be: drums complete with double peddle, to blast beat the hell out of this world.
If I were an animal, I would be: Rattle snake
If I were a color, I would be: Deep grey.
If I were an emotion, I would be: misanthropic
If I were a vegetable, I would be: anything but TOMATOES.
If I were a sound, I would be: your deathknells.
If I were an element, I would be: Air
If I were a car, I would be: Hearse?
If I were a song, I would be: Falkenbach, Walhall
If I were a movie, I would be directed by: David Lynch! Make a fucked up psycho movie out of me!
If I were a book, I would be written by: Frank Herbert/George Orwell/Chuck Palahiuk/XIX. *killer combination!*
If I were a food, I would be: SUBWAY
If I were a place, I would be: Berlin ftw.
If I were a material, I would be: Metal.
If I were a taste, I would be: Spicy.
If I were a scent, I would be: Scandalwood incense.
If I were a word, I would be: Danger
If I were an object, I would be: Jerry Nuggets. I am sought-after!
If I were a body part, I would be: Hands. Flourish-able ones would be better.
If I were a facial expression, I would be: Peaceful
If I were a subject in school, I would be: Biology is teh best!
If I were a dog, I would be: Hate dogs.
If I were a cat, I would be: Jaspas
If I were a number, I would be: Eleven. [I'm Dissection-mad]

That's it!

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Guess who loves my shirt?

That would be my new BFF, even Stephenie Meyer. And I think she possibly said something nice about my hair. And then I turned bright red and started babbling, because I have Inner Poise. (Secret: This is kind of a lucky shirt. I bought it at an H&M outside Philly a couple of years ago. Am thrilled the luck hasn't worn off yet.)

The conference was absolutely wonderful. Stephenie Meyer spoke first, about her experience with getting published for the first time, and how there were so many things she wasn't prepared for and that she would have done differently if she'd known what she was getting into. Basically when she wrote Twilight she had no thought of getting it published and knew nothing about the industry. She said that if you're going to be a writer, you had better love to write, because the other parts (like looking for an agent and sending out queries and negotiating contracts and editing and revising and touring) are not as much fun. So if the actual writing is not fun for you, you'd be better off picking something else. She was really funny and down-to-earth. Her legions of teenage (and older) girl fans were there in their "I Love Edward" and "Bite Me" and "10 Signs You're a Twilight Addict" shirts. During a break, I eavesdropped as two girls behind me discussed which Twilight characters their friends were most like. It was actually so much more involved than that but I just can't even get into it.

A really interesting bit was when Stephenie talked about people who accuse her of being anti-feminist, not only because she identifies herself as a Mormon stay-at-home-Mom but also because her female protagonist isn't a superhero figure with powers but her boyfriend is. She takes exception to that on two levels:

1) She thinks the lone human in a world of superheroes is the much more interesting character. Because she is at such a disadvantage, it takes real bravery for Bella to stand up against the superheroes.

2) To her, feminism is about choice. And so she's tired of hearing people yap about how you're only a real feminist if you choose these certain pre-approved things that bring you either a lot of power and influence or a lot of money.

Seems like we've had this conversation around here before.

During a Q & A session, I told her that I know her fans are mostly female, but it was actually my teenage brother who told me about her books. So I asked about her male readers and if she knows what it is about her books that appeals to them. She said she always loves to hear from guys who enjoy her books, and she thinks one big difference between guys and girls is that girls are used to reading from the male perspective. In contrast, she thinks that guys haven't necessarily spent as much time reading books from the female perspective. But once they get past the "And then I saw Edward and he was just sooo beautiful" and all of that then they can just get into the story and appreciate it.

Also, she remembers my brother coolboy and asked me to tell him Hi. He's probably doing Snoopy Dances in the Dominican Republic right about now. Also I got his books signed, but that's a secret so shhhhhh!

Joan Bauer spoke next and was absolutely amazing. Seriously, the woman had me getting misty-eyed a couple of times. She was just so very warm and engaging and energetic and has this huge laugh. She talked about setbacks she's had in her personal life, and how a lot of her writing has been about her trying to get to the bottom of things she's been going through. She says writing (and reading) are valuable because that's how you know that there are people out there who have felt the exact same things that you feel. And then she talked about how we just love to tell ourselves that we don't have anything to offer, and gave the example of Moses who just had this cracked old staff. But God told him to throw it down, and God turned it into something amazing.

When we had the book signing, her line moved the slowest because she shook each person's hand and asked them questions and chatted with them. By the time I got to her they'd asked her to speed it up a bit, but I still got a handshake. If any of you have the chance to meet her or see her speak, do it. She is just a lovely, lovely person and a dang fine writer.

Last was Rosemary Wells, who talked about the plight of education and literacy in our country. (And really, she was speaking to a bunch of teachers and librarians. So she couldn't have picked a more fired-up audience.) She said that we are at a crucial time and this may be our last chance to raise a generation of literate people who are able to compete on the global level at which our government is setting us up to compete. She says the children of other nations are being much, much better prepared than ours are.

She talked about No Child Left Behind, and how many teachers are restricted to teaching only what will be on the standardized tests for fear of losing funding. (This won't be news to anyone.)

She cited a 2006 study carried out in several Midwestern states where all the teachers were asked what would be the one thing they would change about the educational system. The answer for over 60% was: The Parents.

They talked about the parents who expect teachers to take responsibility for every aspect of their children's education, but are so ignorant and litigious that they threaten to sue any time they don't like what they hear. So now school administrators and teachers have their hands tied.

You have the parents who overcompensate and demand that the teacher spend more time addressing their child's needs, even though the teacher's time is divided between all of his or her students, some of whom may need more help than others.

She talked about how parents might receive some kind of take-home packet about literacy and reading at the hospital when they give birth, but from that point on the kids are pretty much lost to the system until they re-emerge for kindergarten at age 5. By then they may already be at a disadvantage they will never overcome.

With all of this in mind, she wrote and illustrated a children's book called My Shining Star: Raising a Child Who is Ready to Learn. It's written for parents and talks about principles they need to teach their children in order for them to be successful when they start school. Of course, the trick is that the parents who most need to hear this either a) can't read, b) don't care, or c) don't buy books or visit the library. She doesn't get any royalties from it, and if there are organizations like schools or libraries who want to buy large quantities then they can get them at a large discount through the publisher.

So yes. It was a pretty great day. It got me all fired up to be writer and right social wrongs and to nurture my new friendship with the fabulous Stephenie Meyer. Perhaps I should become a published author as well, and then we could hang out.

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Forary into nature.

Yesterday saw the school's cross country run at Macritchie Reservior. I took the advantage to get in touch with my ''heathen, viking, pagan" mood, walked the entire distance of roughly 4kilometres with my mp3 on with Falkenbach and the family digital camera.

It was goddamned very theraputic. To feel the coolness from the greenery surrounding you when you are in the ''woods'', to feel the leaves beneathe your feet as you mouth the lyrics of the Falkenbach songs. As the songs added a tinge of interestingness into the walk of monotony.

Now, I think I am adding "trolling in the woods alone with my player on" into my pastimes list.

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Goodful Think Breakthrough!

Finally, the revolution is complete. Crimethink has become literally unpossible, as we have eliminated all unnecessary and heretical words. Freedom in the old sense can no longer exist. The Party has handed down a decree that all Party members must learn this language or be vaporised. It is a glorious day for IngSoc, and a day to be feared by our Eastasian enemies.

The beginning of this glorious process began in the 1900’s, shortly after the revolution and the establishment of IngSoc. It was all Big Brother’s idea, of course, to build a language that makes crimethink unpossible, and, after 100 years, we have finally carried out this most important decree of his. I can see him talking about the glory of this accomplishment on my telescreen right now.

With this, we no longer have to worry about crimethink; we may focus our efforts on defeating Eurasia. This most glorious achievement puts us one step closer to making sure BB will take his rightful place as ruler of the world, thanks to the efforts of those who worked to make this dictionary, and, of course, BB, without whom, none of these glorious achievements would be possible.

-Comrade Acebrock

Get yours completely free due to the Goodful nature of Big Brother and whole of IngSoc at this following link!

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Volkerball. MINE. [grin]

I believe I am the the first few in the entire island of Singapore that possesses Rammstein's Voelkerball DVD. [insert successful skullgrin] Finally! After months of hounding many CD shops and agonizing wait, of visiting Herzeleid.net for information and abstaining from clips at Youtube. It really takes alot to be a Rammstein fan in Singapore. [sweats]

So, after watching it straight after I reached home yesterday, I shall give you an extensive review by yours truly, comparing to Rammstein's previous Live DVD attempt - Live Aus Berlin.

Firstly, the DVD interface looks really neat, it's so 3-D interactive, with the still grayscale shots of the France concert as background. The whole Moscow Oylmpics theme worked really well, it has got be the most unique theme I have ever came across for a Music DVD, full of cultural atmosphere as well.

So, you are greeted with a swarm of R+ fans in the France arena chanting "Rammstein! Rammstein", luring you - the hungry Rammstein Singaporean Fan into the television, damn.

I have seen Reise, Reise on the Preview DVD in Rosenrot, so I shall give that a miss.

Links 234, the song I have been dying to see live. It lived up to my (high) expectations to be as energetic (ain't all R+ songs so? lol) the album version. Link Zwei! Drei! Vier! Links! You chant along with Mister Till. Just pure gold.

Keine Lust is next. Hopeful to see some fat R+ members teetering on the stage just like how the music video is, I was wronged. Great performance nonetheless, although Till Lindermann's vocals seemed to be lacking in power, which will prevalent in most cases now, considering he's nearing 50 years old.

FEUER FREI! Bang! Bang! is the thing that will literally BANG into your every face. Fiery, agressive and oh so, Mutter-ish, as it reminded me, the face-flamethrowers would blast your head off, seriously. Call it no holds barred Rammstein, complete with manical pryo-lusts and killer guitar riffs.

Asche Zu Asche - Oh, my sweet, good old classic off their debut album, Herzeleid, managed to retain its ferocity in performance, meaning Richard and Oliver still sings "Asche!" , "Asche zu Asche! Staub zu Staub!" into microphones that are lit up by swallowing flames in good old R+ fashion. Yes, Flake still does that weird little one-armed dance in the keyboard solo. Cute as ever, Flake. Ich kommt wieder! Im zehn Tagen! Hah!

Oh! Morgenstern! I have never in my wildest dreams thought they'd want to do a live rendition of that (obscure) song off their Reise, Reise album. Decent performance, gave me a fresh impression of the song once again, as I usually skip this song in the studio album. Rammstein, Du! Du bist meine Morgernstern! Lol.

„Suche gut gebauten 18-30jährigen zum Schlachten“
Der Metzgermeister

You know what that means! It means it's Mein Teil time! Bloody mouthed Till Lindermann comes out of the door, scraping the knife against the giant cauldron which hides poor Flake, the latter unaware of his impending fate to be Mein Teil-ed! Mischievous, deviant song, very apt-ly pulled off, gets me grinning all the time I watch it. As the bridge approaches, I do prepare for a good flame grilling time, as Till launches off his handheld flamethrower towards the base of the pot, causing Flake to be cooked half rare, with smoke emitting from him as well. Greatest entertainment ever.

Stein Um Stein, another song I have never thought they do perform live. Giving a really fresh idea of the song again, however, unlike Morgenstern, this live rendition proved itself to be much more superior than the studio version. Great to have that in their arsenal.

Los! This is really something. Reminds me deeply of Live Aus Berlin's Wilder Wein, Richard and Oliver playing acoustic guitars and Christopher playing a 3-piece drum set on the lower stage, it's just so Wilder Wein! Surprise came as Till started playing the harmonica, really awesome performance. Exceeded all of my expectations instantaneously. And, Flake has a new dance in his reportire, this one involves weird jumps and touching his ankles in mid-air. Interesting, Flake. Then, the electrification of Los sounded plain fucking awesome. Bringing the entire crowd to their climax. Heavy as hell, unlike the original predecessor. 10/5 immediately.

Du riechst So Gut! Something that an old school Rammstein fan will be waiting eagerly for. No, in Volkerball, it doesn't involve gingerkids mouthing " ist nur eine schmale Brücke
die Ufer sind Vernunft und Trieb", but it still uses the good old flaming bow, just like in Live Aus Berlin. Pure highness you will experience in this song, you just want to melt into the song itself. Cos, Du riechst so gut, gleich hab Ich dich! Richard and Oliver still play the solo side by side, but they omitted the finger-pointing weird thing now, replacing with a flame-emitting arm jacket. Just a sniff (pun!) of what Herzeleid was like. =)

Benzin! The only track of Rosenrot played live. Living up to my expectations, the performance was a strong one, bringing out the essence of what the music video evoked. I was half expecting a fire truck or something though. Lol. Gibt mir Benzin, JAAAAAAA! Im Benzin! Benzin! Ich brauch Benzin! You will find yourself yelling.

Du Hast! Classic, famous song off Sehnsucht album. The keyboards will draw you in. Expectations are sky high for this, being their world-wide known song yet. "Willst du bis der Tod euch scheidet. treu ihr sein für alle Tage." Started off really well, but there's a slight but obvious defect in the bridge, Flake apparently, screwed up the keyboard part, so it sounded tad weird. Lol. Flake gave an non-chalant look at Till. Lol. Omitting the telephone part as well, they used a thing to shoot out orange sparks across the arena.

Another hard-hitting hit - Sehnsucht comes into your already bruised face now! Perfect performance of Sehnsucht, in my opinion. Just that Till's vocals sounded abit tired and unfocused. Everything was as tight as the asshole of Pamela Anderson. Just second-perfect. It's one beat faster than the studio version though, which made it sound even more impressive. AHH! Rammstein, Ich bin sehnsucht fuer diene konkert im Singapur! Kommt! 20/5 at first look, serious!

I wonder how those German boys carry on with such intense performances, I am already tired of typing.. lol.

Amerika next! A song that I've been curious to watch live. Flake comes in on a scotter. The back lights lit up in red and blue. USA flag. Reminded me of Klavier in Live Aus Berlin. I was expecting MacDonalds and Coke to be everywhere on stage, but no. I was thinking too much, perhaps. Earlier on, there's a handwritten sign that says, "Fucking Mickey Maus." flashing across the screen, too. Too bad, Till didn't incoporated it into the performance. Superb performance generally. Till said something in French in the end, I think it's "Thank you" or something.

Rammstein. Title song. Was, again, expecting a giant fan to be gyrating, but nope. Second disappointment. Till didn't wear the trademark flaming coat and their laser-light glasses! =( That outfit defined the song. Now, he dons a pair of huge mechanic arms that emits out flames at the tips, cool still, but not enough. Song was decently performed. The flames emitted in the end reminded me of Wollt Ihr das Bett im Flammen sehen? in Live Aus Berlin though.

Sonne! Another great hit off Mutter. Great performance, as usual. Bringing the crowd to their full potential, I could almost feel the saturation of band-fans bond. How I wished I was there. Damn. =(

Ich Will, from Mutter again. Dark-sounding song, the first song of R+ I have heard. Fucking good performance, the band evoked the whole essence of the song really well. Again, the crowd went drug-high on the visual and audiotory pleasures of the performance. Ich will eure Energie! Lol.

Ohne Dich. Now, I am really interested how they'd pull off such a melodic and emotional song. Not failing my hopes, R+ gave it all out, splurging all the needed emotions to the crowd to turn them all hysterical. The Seemann of the Second Wave, I say. Paul now replaces Flake in the holy mission to take a boat ride out on the pit.

Stripped. Wow. I believe this is the first ever time they are doing it live. It's really interesting to see the heavily-accented Till Lindermann to sing in English. Not a bad performance, just weird. Lol.

Albeit the lack of power in Till Lindermann's vocals as compared to the job he did on Live Aus Berlin some 8 years ago and the lack of props, Voelkerball did its best to satisfy my re-ignited passion for R+. I would hope to see performances of Mutter, Der Meister, Weisses Fleish, Engel again though. The fact that they didn't use any extra vocals is abit disappointing as well, seeing how well the performance of Bobo in Engel Live Aus Berlin went. I miss it, somehow. Although they played it in the credit portion of the DVD.

My comments! If you want to see a Rammstein performance at their peak performance ability and with school old (sometimes, better) R+ songs, get Live Aus Berlin instead. Volkerball DVD is meant for seasoned fans, and this acts more of tribute to them than a DVD to promote their music. The pictures used in Volkerball are more fan-geared as well.

I, the self proclaimed R+ fan of Singapore, gives Volkerball 9.5 R+(s)! I'm generally happy with it. Although I regretted not getting the Special Edition which consisted of another DVD with 120 minutes worth of interviews and documentaries. [kills myself] I was particularly attracted by Flake's dress sense, he wore a freaking foral dress in the Russia - Mosaku's clip. Oh my hell. And, they smashes the glasses after drinking the wine. How eloquent! Me likes.

The Rammstein Family that I own!

Now, I pray to Odin for Rammstein to pay Singapore a visit.

The Resurrected R+ fanatic,
LingNemesis
1st Feb 2007 C.E.

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