American Idolatry

Weeks ago I was listening to my local affiliate of NPR while I drove to work. I listen to NPR because I am pretentious and also because I have yet to find any non-country radio stations up here. The guys were talking about how even though there are all kinds of things going on with the state legislature, KSL News in SLC reported that the highest number of hits on their website were to do with the American Idol auditions.

The NPR guys were pretty funny about it in their dry, dry voices. "So, it seems that even though the state legislature is in session and there are actually quite a lot of things going on that will impact the people of this great state, all you actually want to hear about is this American Idol program. I must say here, publicly, that I do not watch American Idol. Perhaps I'm not the best person to discuss it. However, that appears to be all you unwashed masses care about, so, fine. Let's talk. Let's put our years and years of experience in journalism, broadcasting, and politics to this task. Let's talk about stupid, stupid American Idol and how that one guy from Utah got on there and brayed like a donkey. Let's talk about that instead of discussing the part where your taxpayer dollars, which, really, from what I'm seeing out of you people, should pretty much all go to education. And possibly birth control." (Note: not an actual transcription, but you know that's what they meant.)

It was pretty funny, only tonight? I am not even laughing. I am not laughing because I sat down at 8pm to watch House, which is the 1 television show that I watch. Except for The Office. And Masterpiece Theatre, especially if they're doing some sumptuous literary adaptation like they did the other week with Jane Eyre. Holy crap I did not know that Jane and Mr. Rochester made out on Jane's bed like that. Which . . . whew. I need to go watch me some of that again.

Anyway, want to know what's on instead of my beloved Greg House? Some stupid 2-hour-long version of stupid American Idol. Now I officially hate that show even more. Now it is affecting my life. It has become some sort of bloated whale on a beach somewhere that just needs to get stuffed full of dynamite and blown up like on that one video.

Posted in: men I love,on my crap list,Sumptuous Literary Adaptations