Please cross fingers for me

I have a kind of important job interview this morning and I really don't want to blow it. Please cross fingers/pray/send good vibes that I'll do well and not be too nervous or forget how to speak. I realize that I may not make the final cut, but I would rather have it be because I just wasn't a good fit rather than because I accidentally started rambling on about sex during the interview.

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Heartbreaker

For the past few days I've been interviewing hopefuls for a part-time position here at the library. The thing that makes this hard is that pretty much everyone is wonderful. I want them all to work here. Some of them I actually want to take home and feed and then we could stay up late braiding each other's hair and talking about Regency Men. That's how much I like them.

So when I have to start calling people and telling them they weren't picked it's going to feel a tiny bit like breaking up. Will have to stop myself from pleading, "But we can still be friends, right?" Because I do understand that you can't always be friends after a breakup. Not everyone I've dated has understood that. One guy I dated prided himself on always remaining friends with women he'd broken up with. This was new to me. And of course, because I am an obstinate cuss, I considered not being friends afterward on purpose just to prove a point. And to break his record. Because I'm mature like that.

But seriously. Sometimes it's just not a good idea to remain in contact, especially if there's a risk that one person is hoping you'll get back together. Or if one of you is a possessive freak who climbs trees outside your ex's window to watch them while they sleep. Or if you were engaged and one of you backed out the morning of the wedding. Because trust me--you're probably never going to be able to joke about that one later. "Hey, remember when you had to take back your wedding dress and go on all those anti-depressants and all your cousins called you Miss Havisham behind your back?"

Yeah. Not so much.

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Surprisingly accurate.

What Ng Ling Xuan Means

You are very intuitive and wise. You understand the world better than most people. You also have a very active imagination. You often get carried away with your thoughts. You are prone to a little paranoia and jealousy. You sometimes go overboard in interpreting signals. You are deeply philosophical and thoughtful. You tend to analyze every aspect of your life. You are intuitive, brilliant, and quite introverted. You value your time alone. Often times, you are grumpy with other people. You don't appreciate them trying to interfere in your affairs. You are relaxed, chill, and very likely to go with the flow. You are light hearted and accepting. You don't get worked up easily. Well adjusted and incredibly happy, many people wonder what your secret to life is. You tend to be pretty tightly wound. It's easy to get you excited... which can be a good or bad thing. You have a lot of enthusiasm, but it fades rather quickly. You don't stick with any one thing for very long. You have the drive to accomplish a lot in a short amount of time. Your biggest problem is making sure you finish the projects you start. You are incredibly sexy and sensual. You have a naughty vibe that no one can ignore. You have an unquenchable desire. And you are unrestrained in your passions. You have a tendency to be unfaithful. Whether you fight it or give in to it is up to you. You are a very lucky person. Things just always seem to go your way. And because you're so lucky, you don't really have a lot of worries. You just hope for the best in life. You're sometimes a little guilty of being greedy. Spread your luck around a little to people who need it. You are usually the best at everything ... you strive for perfection. You are confident, authoritative, and aggressive. You have the classic "Type A" personality.

What's Your Name's Hidden Meaning?

This online boredom buster generator thing is surprisingly accurate. I suspect it's voodoo. Or, they give a combination of similar phrases in different ways, which is the usually the latter.

Anyway, readers, yours truly has started working once again! $$$! =D Yeah, I have worked for 3 days now, since the start of this week. I'm working at the Insititue of Mental Health aka The Loonie Bin aka Hougang Chalet aka Whatever-You-Have-In-Mind-For-It. It's a really nice place, it makes you feel different whenever you step into the compound (which is vast, for the supervisor took an entire hour to give me a tour of the place). It makes you feel isolated, for one. It makes you feel like you're walking into a different atmosphere, like a South Korean walking pass the demilitarised zone into North Korea. The feeling of heading to work was entirely different from what I have experienced whilst I was with Aviva Limited back at the epicentre of Shenton Way. There is no crowd rushing from place to place, no sight of hordes looking completely blunted from the rigidities of work (if I could put it that way, lol). Which is good, because I really disliked how the CBD area felt like, I felt I was shifting through around a capitalism-filled prison. On the contrary, I felt completely at ease whenever I head to work at IMH, although the common perception of the public is to stigmatise everything related to it and would do all to avoid going to that place. I am weird, I know. Pah. What to do? Maybe my vocation lies within one which would aid people and away from the factors that deepen people's miseries. *holy, holy* I think you are running out of breathe now, if you have a penchant to read things aloud, I apologise and I shall end this hefty paragraph here. =)

One sad thing is that I work at the administrative side of IMH, which meant I would have no chance to see or interact with the patients. However, one really nifty detail is that I know the location where the criminally-insane are housed and most of all, *drum roll, please* the fantastic mortuary. Great isn't it? Like how I told Alden, "Crazy dead people, beat that!" In my contrite opinion, the chance to be acqauinted with such knowledge far surpasses the details of money-making that would have filled the minds of many on the streets. Maybe I'm just morbid. I got an inkling the latter holds more truth.

One last thing about the rantings of my new job. The staff library will be a place I will frequent during lunch breaks. There are so many intriguing books, erudite and alluring. Almost yummy. Bah. I am such a nerd. >_>

Other than the abovementioned subject of working, I have successfully injected life into my life which has been a void ever since the end of my A Levels. I registered for a metta meditation course, a guided tour of the Nalanda Buddhism Exhibition at the Asian Civilisation Museum and a one night meditation (yet again, yes, I am deeply interested in that subject) workshop conducted by Venerable Thuten Chondron. Kickass.

Now, I ran out of things to ramble.

Later.

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So hard to concentrate

It's sunny outside right now for the first time in forever. I want to blog but can't think about anything. And I doubt you want to hear me talk about Hawaii, or the bathing suit I just ordered online, even if those are the only things I can actually think about right now. (Let's just hope the suit doesn't make my legs look like these. Because if so then it is going right back.)

So. Anyone want to give me a topic? Otherwise you're going to have to hear about Sprint, who is on my crap list. In fact, I'm just going to tell you about it. When I call someone's cell phone, I want to hear a ring tone. Okay, that's not totally true. I want to hear Ioan Gruffudd's voice on the other end whispering sweet naughty Welsh things to me. Failing that, though, the ring tone is pretty much what I'm after. I do not wish to hear a message informing me that they hope I'll enjoy listening to the following music while they connect me. Here's some advice to Sprint: rather than hoping I'll enjoy it (I don't) why not just take the risk out and NOT spring crappy ghetto-booty music on me. Thank you.

Plus, the people who use that service are the people who don't turn in their library books. Which is why I'm calling them. Being forced to listen to crappy music on top of that does not put me in a forgiving frame of mind. Just a thought to all the fine-dodgers out there.

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It's a really good thing I'm going to Hawaii in like 5 days

Otherwise I would probably be killing and eating people. Can feel myself inching toward a nuclear meltdown but am determined to stave it off. What's quite possibly even more frustrating is not being able to tell the Internet all about it because it's absolutely work-related. And I don't want to get fired. Much.

Also I'm bothered because because the valley is trying, yet again, to join the century and get a county-wide library system--which, yay! Because it would mean that any resident could get books from any of the libraries rather than having their library services limited to what their own city has decided to provide. Which, for some of these communities, consists of a Boo-Radley-style hole in a tree with a few soap children and pamphlets crammed inside.

But now all these nasties are crawling out from their ammunitions bunkers to post at the Herald Journal website about how they don't want to pay for libraries they have no intention of using. And no one needs libraries anyway. Also when we force them to pay for our freaky and unnecessary reading habits then that's Satan's plan. And people who live in rural communities apparently made the choice to live without adequate library services and so that's what they get.

Dillweeds.

Am going here in 5 days. I can make it.

image from NatureScapes.net

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Continuing on the Ruling the World theme

Wow. Thanks to everyone who commented on the gum post. I hadn't thought about the fact that people use gum to keep from snacking. I suppose we might allow that in the New World Order. Although I think I'll be more inclined to just promote snacking and be done with it. Of course, my snacks won't be gross processed things. It'll be stuff like fresh fruit, high-quality chocolate, imported cheeses, and dense chewy loaves of bread.

And speaking of the New World Order, here are a few other things I'm looking forward to making extinct:

Cigarettes
Stirrup pants
Velour track suits
Paparazzi
Thong bathing suits
Candy bar & soda machines in elementary schools
Artificial sweeteners
Inferior chocolate (so long, Hershey)
People who waste water
Corn syrup
WWF-style wresting
Reality TV
Smog
Internet porn
Soda--yeah, I said it. You find me one actual worthwhile thing about soda and we'll talk. Note: Sparkling juices like those fab Italian sodas from Target are a completely different thing and will actually play a key role in the NWO.

Anyone have any others to add to the list? I'm sure I'm forgetting lots and lots of things.

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The gum chewing post

As I've spent the last two days sick with the flu, I've had time to think about world-saving ideas. My latest one?

No More Chewing Gum

I don't see the point of it. It's not food. It has no nutritional benefit. It's not biodegradable, so it'll be around forever. Just take a look at the commercials. All they can do is try to make a cool commercial without really mentioning the gum, because what can they even say about it? "Um, we think you should put this flavored tar in your mouth and chew it over and over again. No reason."

As pointless and stupid as chewing gum is, my bigger problem is with the gum chewers. After all, wads of gum don't end up in water fountains, city sidewalks, under desks, and in carpets all by themselves. No indeed. It is the stupid idiot chewers who leave it there, and I would have no problem with such behavior incurring penalties like tongue forking.

Here's the other thing, and this is where I'm going to hurt some feelings. But only because I care.
You look stupid when you chew gum.

You really do. This is especially true if you are the kind who simply cannot keep your lips together while chewing. Yes, I'm talking to you. You look like a cow, standing in a field, staring vacantly while chewing your cud. And it's nasty. I don't want to hear the smacking of your lips. I don't want to see your gum rolling around in your mouth, and I don't want to watch your jaw going up and down, up and down, over and over again. It's just gross and it makes you, literally, look like a slack-jawed idiot. The words that come out of your mouth automatically have less intellectual merit when they're accompanied by the sticky, spitty, snapping sounds of chewing gum.

So. Now that we've established that, I think we can get rid of the gum. Exceptions will be for people who are trying to give up smoking and need to have something in their mouth, and also for pregnant women. Because so help me I'm not about to tell a pregnant woman what she can and can't chew. I would recommend that she chew quietly and with closed lips if she doesn't want people to moo at her, but still: her choice.

For those of you whining about needing something after a meal to freshen your breath, I believe they've invented a special new thing called breath mints. Look into them.

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Conversation between me and my parents

We were talking about the upcoming Hawaii trip.

Mom: Your father and I have already started tanning. Have you?

Me: No, you know I don't do that. I don't get tan, I just get red.

Mom: I just don't understand that. I mean, I tan and so does your father.

(Pretty sure this is because they baked themselves to death in their youth.)

Dad: She's just not trying hard enough.

Mom: Yeah, that could be it. Maybe your skin knows that you're not really committed.

Me: Oooooor, maybe my skin just doesn't like melanoma.

This is not the first time I've had such conversations with my parents. I wouldn't be surprised to find them swapping out my SPF 70 with something like baby lotion. Just to show me that I could tan if I really wanted to.

And maybe they'll tell me that I really should consider smoking. You know, because it's cool and good for you.

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Spare me a moment of nonsense: a Meme.

I realised I have not posted an questionaire here in a long while now, so here is it, I just hope it doesn't bore you too much.

Three Names You Go By:
1. Ling
2. LingNemesis, self-evidently
3. That Loner Who Plays with Cards and Have Earphones On 24/7.

Three Screen Names That You Had:
1. LingNemesis (long standing one, I made this up in late 2005, I am amazed I am not tempted to change it yet.)
2. Vamprye_Magnus (circa 2003 to 2004, initially my SMC username which I think scared many off)
3. Goth_pyschopath666 (circa 2000 to 2002. Bleh, I want to kill myself for saying this publicly, but yes. Laugh at me, go ahead.)

Three Things You Liked About Yourself:
1. Hands (They do those nice things with cards which I am proud of.)
2. My bat fuck insane mind, for it is bat fuck insane.
3. My left little toe which I will fiddle with when I am receiving some muse from above.

Three Things You Don't Like About Yourself:
1. I am easy prey to misanthropy. (Which could be a good thing, actually.)
2. I fall too easily to the lure of Subway sandwiches and more recently, Starbucks Ice Blended.
3. I procrasinate too much and too often. =(

Three Parts of Your Heritage:
1. Chinese 我是正宗华人。
2. Hokkein-speakers thingy?
3. My paternal side has abit of Indonesian influence.

Three Things That Scare You:
1. Unthinking Humanity and its vast supplies of herds.
2. Environment degradation, which is gloriously comitted by humans!
3. Bad music blaring every-fucking-where you go *Umbrella and whatever crap they have concoted* (Just stop it!)

Three of Your Everyday Essentials:
1. A wonderful commodity called The Internet!
2. Inspiring music, or the downright disdain-laden ones which mysteriously attracts my dank soul.
3. Playing cards, duh.

Three Things That You Are Wearing Now:
1. SRJC PE shorts, haha.
2. NCHS PE shirt (Iris house), which is getting quite thin since it's been 3 years since I left that place.
3. The burden of living. Wonderful answer, isn't it?

Three of Your Favourite Music Bands etc (at the moment):
1. Chthonic
2. Dissection
3. Pain

Three of Your Favourite Songs (at the moment):
1. Inis Mona by Eluveitie, I fell in love with it instantaneously.
2. Chariots Rise by Lizzie West, the soundtrack of Secretary.
3. Breath of Ocean by Chthonic


Three New Things That You Would Like To Try in The Next 5 Months:
1. Take refuge.
2. Thinking of attempting a retreat, after I have attended adequate amount of Dharma lessons, of course.
3. Vegetarian diet?

Three Things That You Want In A Relationship:
1. Random, non-American humour.
2. The quality of being playful and erudite at the same time. Hard one, I know!
3. The Lifestyle, preferably. :P

Two Truths and 1 Lie, Spot It
1. My favourite ice cream flavor is chocolate.
2. My favourite band (all time) is Dissection.
3. I am using a blue Wynns deck now.

Three Things About The Opposite Sex (or same) That Attracts You:
1. Humour is paramount. Even twisted ones.
2. Eyes that could talk or bring your heart/soul to burning points and/or freezing depths.
3. The intellect to have a decent conversation, which I observe, is a diminishing quality of both sexes.

Three of Your Favourite Hobbies:
1. Reading
2. Flourishing
3. Mindfulness/Meditation

Three Things You Really Want to Do Badly Now :
1. Get the shit meme done with.
2. Finish reading Dune Bulterian Jihad (50 pages to go)
3. Make hot milo.

Three Careers You Are Considering:
1. Geneticist
2. Biologist
3. Your Nightmare. :p

Three Places You Want to Go On Vacation:
1. Tibet, Poatala Palace, Bodh Gaya, the entire Buddha Trail.
2. Slovenia, Vika has a place for me there! ^^ Oh, Metal Camp, yes!
3. Norway for black metal roots!

Three Things You Want To Do Before You Die:
1. Become inspirational to others. In all ways conceivable.
2. Watch North Korea/Myanmar/Middle East reside in peace.
3. Witness more metal gigs!

Three Kids' Names:
1. Damien, self explanatory.
2. Alia
3. I only want 2 kids.

Three Ways I am Stereotypically A Boy:
1. I abhor romance movies. Unless you are talking about The Secretary.
2. I don't spend more than 15 minutes dressing up.
3. I read fantasy and sci-fi by their series, not novels. Haha!

Three Ways I am Stereotypically A Girl:
1. I have my fangirl moments.
2. My gamete chromosomes read XX.
3. I have had the fucking patience to wait for my hair to grow until they reach mid-back. That is something!

Three Celebrity Crushes:
1. Alan Rickman. Self explanatory.
2. Jon Notivdent.
3. New contender - Noel Fielding/Russell Brand.

That's all, fuckers.

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I know what I'm making at my next dinner party

Yesterday I had a hankering for the rich creamy rich goodness that is stovetop macaroni and cheese. Don't get me started on the oven-baked kind, which I view as an unholy curdled slab of evil. I'm sure there could be fabulous versions out there--I've just never had one.

Anyway. I use a recipe which calls for sharp cheddar, evaporated milk, dry mustard, and which has the power to warm and cuddle you in the manner of a cashmere-sweater-clad George Clooney. Ladies, you try and tell me you wouldn't want summa that.

I looked online to find what other amazing cheeses I could add to the mix and saw what I at first thought must be a joke. It's called Deep Fried Mac & Cheese, and is possibly proof that Paula Deen want to kill us all. I nearly threw up reading this, but I'm sure there are people who love it. I used to work with a lady who was Paula's biggest fan. She spent more time at the doctor's office than she did at work. This no longer seems strange to me, considering:

Here's the recipe: Peanut oil, for frying 1 recipe "The Lady's Cheesy Mac" prepared, chilled in the refrigerator overnight, and cut into 15 bite-sized squares, recipe follows Flour, for dredging 1 egg, beaten Plain bread crumbs, for dredging Heat 2 inches of oil in a large, heavy Dutch oven to 350 degrees F. Dredge each Cheesy Mac square in flour, then egg, and then bread crumbs to coat. Fry for about 1 minute on each side until golden brown. Drain on paper towels before serving.

She left out the bit about having a defibrillator handy and making sure your trailer is clean for when the paramedics come.

Yeah, I said it.

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How is this different from living in Alaska?

Yesterday we had the nastiest storm here. It was the kind where the 400mph winds made it so that it was actually snowing horizontally, which I hate. As does my right ear.

I sat there at my desk wondering why in the world people were leaving their houses and braving the weather and the three-foot snow drifts to come to the library. Every time someone new walked in I looked up and thought, "Seriously???" The only explanation I can think of is that their computers at home have poisonous snakes curled up in them somewhere.

There were loads of accidents yesterday, with things like public transport buses getting stuck and idiot trucks tailgating everyone before going off the road. Do not even speak to me about the idiot trucks and the way they feel they should be able to drive just the same in a blizzard as they do in the dry summer (i.e., like idiots).

The only reason I turned up at the library is because it wasn't snowing when I left the house that morning. If I'd woken up to such a mess you can bet your Little House on the Prairie boxed set that I'd have stayed holed up in bed, twisting straw into neat little knots to use for fuel and asking Pa to play us a song on his fiddle.

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To break the hiatus

I stand here in apology for my abrupt lack of new entries, for recently, my life is really rather barren of interesting or groundbreaking news or events. You cannot expect much from one who leads the life of being cooped up at home majority of the time, indulging in online happenings and feeling constantly misanthrophic due to my lack of involvement in the society. =)

If you are so demanding to pry into my private life, I can divulge some details.

Ok! A good friend of mine - Scott, from England, London, had recently recommended me to watch BBC's (or is it Channel 4) Big Fat Quiz of The Year over at Youtube. It featured Noel Fielding and Russell Brand, amongst many other outstanding English entertainers. But who in the right fangirl's mind would care to remember any others' names when Noel Fielding and Russell Brand look completely smashing? To prove my point, I shall provide you with a very sufficient picture of them as below:The Goth Detectives are in the lead!

Smitten, aren't you?

If you are still in skepticism, I shall quote something from them;

The quiz asks what did a certain guy ate during some reality show. Noel Fielding and Russell Brand wittyly put, "Wine Gums, Envy, Pieces of Rainbow" when the correct answers are "Eyes, Kangaroo's Anus and a crocodile's penis". Brilliantly random! Got to heart them just for that one! I implore them spiritually to have a series of Goth Detectives show, it's just too good to be missed.

Next, I went to watch "No Country For Old Men" alone this afternoon. This is my second time watching that, actually. I couldn't stand the half-assed pixelated crap that I first saw online. =) Support the originals, children! Besides that, that movie is one where you need more than one viewing to let that experience sink in real deep. I left the theatre in utter *weird sort of* admiration and "liking" for the ruthless, no-frills killer Anton Chigurh. He grows in you slowly, like a virus. :P He's just damn... callous, to the extent of even surpassing Doctor Hannibal Lecter Himself, that's really an achievement.

Anton Chigurh and his signature weapon of intrusion and headshots.
You are fucked.
What's worse? Your fate could sometimes be decided on a coin toss.
Either way, you are fucked.

Bah! I cannot stand it. Anton Chigurh is destined to be the next cult killer icon. Just plain awesome. Next to rewatch/watch are There Will Be Blood and Persepolis. Heh.

Besides the reel and the telly, I have been reading Herbert Jr, Kevin J Anderson's Dune: The Bulterian Jihad, which is rather enjoyable. It is great to read about how did Frank Herbert visioned the beginnings of his epic Dune saga, especially about the origins of Fremen and the popularity of the spice-melange. I really hope the entire Dune series would be made into a series of movies like Lord of The Rings, it will be a great hit and it will surely make Frank Herbert proud. After all, I have never seen a series of novels so endlessly intriguing and entertaining, to remind you, the Dune series now stands at a total of 13 books and still counting. Lord of The Rings does pale in comparison now, hehe!

I think I have ran out of things to rant. I want to meet Ren Hui to go on some abandoned place tour/photosnapping fun and to wave at tourists, most importantly. =D

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Feeling better about my own resume all the time

I'm collecting resumes at work for a part-time position. So far I've received about 3,475,011. Because it looks like everyone wants to work at a library. I wondered how I was going to be able to weed them down to an acceptable number, but as soon as I started looking at the resumes I realized that some people are going to make it very easy for me to remove theirs from the pile.

Here are some of the things I'm learning. May they be helpful to you in your own job searches.

If you hand-deliver your resume, it's a good idea to wear something semi-nice. And to be polite. Also, in this case it's actually a good idea to drop it off in person, because if we get a good impression of you then we write a little note on the resume before adding it to the 6-ton filing folder.

You don't lose points for not writing a cover letter or using nice paper. But those things do earn extra points and make your resume stand out favorably. I guess I'm shallow like that.

When I tell you that you need to bring in a resume, giving me a deer-in-the-headlights stare and telling me you don't have one is not a good idea. Because I'm not actually going to waive that.

Each section of your resume does not need its own page--if your resume is 4 pages or longer it had better be because you have 45 years of relevant experience, including Queen of the World.

Please do not use more than 6 different fonts in a resume. It makes my brain leak out my ears. Also? White space can be very important in contributing to the overall look and readability of your resume. Please try to include some.

On the subject of font and eye strain, something larger than 8 point is preferable, thank you. As much as I love me some sexy librarian glasses, I prefer to wear them for cosmetic reasons--not because I actually need them.

I am so over that generic Objectives section. Just scratch that. It adds nothing.

You might want to consider a grown-up email address. Something with the word "whatever" in it does not give me great confidence in your work ethic. Neither does "lazy," "sexy," or anything to do with pop music stars.

Your resume should not include adhesive tape, white-out, edits written in pen, or any combination of these things.

Please do not submit a photocopy of the resume you created 20 years ago, even if you took the time to fill in your current information with pen and post-it notes. Yes, I'm sure you did get rid of your computer and printer when you moved, but I'm betting you could have figured something out.

Anybody have any others?

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If they're going to be stuck in my head

Then I see no reason why they shouldn't be stuck in yours. Enjoy, and try reeeeal hard not to open a new browser tab so that you can purchase MacBook Air systems or Old Navy sweaters. It will be hard, but you must not let those tricky b*****ds also known as advertisers to seduce you!



I have to say, though. This next video freaked me right the heck out initially, on account of I was not even expecting clowns. It isn't right to just toss a clown at someone like that. I could have died. But I made it through that part, and it got a big "awwww" from me at the end.

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Hey! It is a scholarship program!

Spitfire and I spent the weekend solidifying our status as favorite Aunties ever. We watched the kiddies on Friday night while Jenny & Ed had a much needed evening away.

I really liked the part where Savvy kept coming up with reasons to get out of bed and tell me important things.

"I need a new band-aid on my foot."

5 minutes later:

"My mom bought me these band-aids."

3 minutes later:

"These band-aids came from Target."

That's when I drugged her and locked her in the bedroom.

Saturday morning we took them to the Bean Life Science Museum, where Savvy discovered her Inner Bravery and petted a real live big ol' snake. I was kind of surprised she did it. Must have been the last of the drugs.

Then we took them to Burger Supreme where they drank ketchup with a side of french fries.

I'm going to miss Savannah's birthday, on account of I'll be lounging on the beach in Hawaii at the time. Which, yeah, I'm pretty broken up about that. But I told her I would take her on a date and asked what she wanted to do. She said she wanted to go to the mall and have the ladies there put makeup on her. And then go to the Disney store, since that's at the mall too. She's a sly one, she is.

So in my ongoing efforts to turn Savvy into a pageant girl, I took her for a special makeover at the MAC counter and then followed her around while she tried on shoes and jewelry in Nordstrom. She also twirled in the aisle and carried on serious, lovingful conversations with the store mannequins. Jenny thinks this may be to do with that Fidelity video by Regina Spektor, which is a favorite at their house.

The makeover was funny, even if it likely got me disowned by Grandpa. I asked the MAC girl if she could take a minute to do just a tiny bit of makeup on Savvy, because it's her birthday and that's what she asked for.

The MAC girl asked, "Like some pink eye shadow, lip gloss, stuff like that?"

I said yes, thinking she meant the pearly, barely-there type of stuff, which is what I put on Savvy when I'm doing my own makeup and she demands a turn. Turns out she thought I meant hot pink, which is what Savvy got. Which kind of made my eyes bulge as I tried to figure out how to get that toned down lest people think I really did want to follow in the Ramsey Family footsteps. But the girl was so sweet with Savvy. After applying the eye shadow, blush, and tinted lip gloss, she told us to wait while she got a mirror. She came back with the mirror but also with a teeny sample pot with a bit of the sparkly pink eye shadow for Savvy to take home and show to her father the next time she wants him to have a heart attack and die.

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Someone should just buy me a shirt with a big ol' Target on it

I learned some really good stuff today from a patron. I learned all about how the Pope of the Catholic Church is inherently evil, and how all of his ceremonial clothing represents evil things. Which, wow. I was not asking for any of this information, mind you. The patron in question had to do an assignment on the Pope but was also finding other, much more interesting information as part his research.

I made vague, noncommittal noises while working very very quickly to find him what he wanted. He paused and said, "Wait. Are you LDS?"

This is where I really should have said, "No, I'm Catholic," with an Eyebrow added for good measure. I didn't, though, which was my mistake.

Him: "Oh, okay. I just, I wouldn't want to offend you or anything."

Me: "Hey, you still might!"

Because really, being LDS doesn't make me anti-Catholic, or make me want to hear mean stuff about the Pope, like how he's one of the horsemen of the apocalypse, but the patron seemed determined to show me what he was learning (I'm guessing from websites like www.ThePopeIsEvilJust LookAtHisHat.com). He said it came from early LDS Church leaders, which, whatever. I doubt that. And yes, it's true that some past LDS scholars have made negative speculations about the Catholic Church, but then they apologized and said they'd misinterpreted the scriptures and that they take it back.

Because come on! Look at this guy! A horseman of the apocalypse?


It got even better when he started telling me about how I need to look at the back of the Greek 2-Euro coin, and that it's going to jolt me right out of my chair because it's prophecy fulfilled. Which, hey, I'd love to look at the back of a 2-Euro coin from Greece. I'd prefer to look at lots of 2-Euro coins while lounging on a Greek beach while a wet shirtless Greek youth feeds me gyros with one hand and lathers my body in sexy sparkly SPF 75 sunblock with the other one. (Hey, Coppertone! Wanna get on a prototype for that?) Or maybe there should be two youths--one for food and one for sunblock. And maybe a third to whisper sweet Greek nothings to me. But since I can't have everything, I looked it up online.


I'll give you a moment to reach for your smelling salts. Go ahead.

Now, as far as I know this is Europa being carried off by Zeus in the form of a bull, nasty shape-shifting rapist that he was. From the Wikipedia entry, it looks like this symbol was included on some early Greek coinage as well. So . . . not exactly sure which prophecy this is meant to fulfill. Unless I missed the part in the Book of Mormon with the shapeshifting rapist bull which ushers in the Second Coming of Christ. It's likely, I guess. I mean, I did take early-morning seminary, so maybe I was too sleepy and frostbitten to notice that part.

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Maybe a shower would have been wise, but I was sleeping

Do you ever get that one kind of zit--the kind that has no real head but still manages to protrude about 3 inches out of your face, causing poor posture, neck strains, and a limp? The bit I like best is when it starts flaking, and so when I try to put concealer on the thing it looks like I'm about to start molting and shed my entire epidermis in the manner of a garden snake or other reptile.

Which I'm sure would prove a lot of library moms right about me.

So yeah, I'm not so much feeling like my gorgeous best today. Let's hope this is not the day in which my personal magnetism pulls Ioan Gruffudd, dazed by love, into my library in the manner of Justin Timberlake being dragged across town by a Pepsi drinker in this Superbowl ad.

(And yes. Sometimes my laughs come cheap, like at the end of this video.)

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Harnessing the wisdom of the collective

If your brain isn't too busy hurting from the other choices you're having to make on this our country's day of voting, wanna do me a quick favor?

I'm trying to put together a "best of" list for the blog, mostly because I think it could be nice to have something good to offer people when I'm having an off day and the only thing I can think to talk about is something really really boring like the corn on my left pinky toe. So see? I really am thinking of you, and of how you might not want to have to barf at your computer, at work.

The other reason is that I might go to this Utah Blog thing later in the month where you read something from your blog. I'd like to pick a good 'un if I do that. And not, you know, one of the foot corn posts.

I realize that there's a lot to choose from, and that there may not be anything that stands out. And it's not like I want to make you slog through 2.5 years of posts. Unless, of course, you are in a procrastinating mood and have a good supply of food and an empty Snapple bottle in reach. In that case, slog away, friend!

But if you do have some faves, or even the kind of posts that you generally like the most, I'd love to hear about it. I'm going through the labels now to see which things seem most popular--it looks like I get the most comments when I talk about (read: poke gentle (or not so much) fun at) the LDS culture. I don't know that those are necessarily my best post, though.

So. If you could please do all my work for me, that would be lovely.

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Me and the snow are fighting

I got stuck in my driveway again--twice. The most recent time was after I spent an hour on Sunday morning shoveling our (no lie) 900 square feet of driveway. That was extra fun, me spinning out on what was barely even any snow at all. I'd better have some wicked arms come Hawaii.

So. Next year for Christmas I'm asking for snow tires. Or maybe bus or tractor tires.

Today's note on why the world is sometimes a wrong sort of place:

There are these cute tiny little white boys who keep coming in to use the Internet. I showed them how to use Google Image Search, which they now use to look up and print out pictures of rappers. Two days in a row they asked me to spell Eminem. They are also quite excited when they find pictures of 50 Cent posing with guns. These kids can't be more than 8 or 9.

Didn't understand quite where the fascination with rap music came from until their dad came in to pick them up one day. At which point it all became very, very depressingly clear.

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A premium Saturday and a pair of ruined feet

What about today? Well, it was a quite a premium saturday that I had today, as compared to my other saturdays in the past few weeks. Premium because I finally got to witness that equally premium movie dubbed "Sweeney Todd: The Demon Barber of Fleet Street" with another top-notch companion of mine. He dubs himself "Count Drasula" because he aspires to be a "neck-romancer" as he sweetly puts it. But I usually dub him simply as "Matyn", which he refers to as his imaginary self. Intricate, it is.

Alright! What about the movie? It consisted of indulging myself in the intense soul-piercing stare of Mr. Todd (Depp), wondering how much Helen Bonham Carter resembles Dani Filth in certain angles, very resplendent and plentiful of glorious blood, me relishing in how Judge Turpin (glorious Rickman) moves/looks/talks/gestures and how he threatened that silly boy lover and his locked up lover. I could almost smell the Snape qualities diffusing out of him. Glorious, glorious. I just hate it when Todd ended Turpin's life, it was a real tragedy, from a viewpoint of a Rickman fangirl. (Sorry to Depp, but I favour you a great load, too) I was like "No! Don't take his life!!! Please! I implore you! Don't!" Bah, dramatic dramatic, I know. But yeah, to see how such a beautiful man (with a great alluring voice) die is rather (very) heart-wrenching. Other epic scene was when Todd flunged Mrs. Lovett into the infernal furnace after a swansong fugue and a final dance (of mortality? Lol). It made Matyn laugh, so I think it's good. =) Anyway, to prevent anymore leak of spoilers here, I shall just say the ending was absurd and morality is an asshole! I didn't regret dispersing so much currencies to witness this particular film, for it was well worth the currency dispersed!

Besides the movie and an outing with a top-notch companion, today wasn't so premium if I were to consider the desecration of my feet after wearing my new pair of shoes. Blistered, they are and my archilles area (right foot) bled and I didn't even realised it after I came home to inspect my tortured feet. Fuck! It sucks to be a woman in this particular aspect. Til then, I just I will have to think along the lines of "Pain is pleasure" to sedate my angst. It works, usually. =)

Alright, enough of my mininature talk. I am heading to NTU's Biological Science faculty's event where they are screening a movie/documentary of how the DNA (deoxyribonuclei acids) is discovered and a FAQ session of their faculty. I am quite excited. But I am more excited about their lucky draw prizes, which are iPod Touch(es). ^^ Haha!

Ah, I need to repose now.

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During which experience I mentally composed many strongly worded letters to both my landlord and the City of L****

Let's play the numbers game, shall we?

90: Minutes spent between my back door and my workplace this morning.

40: Approximate length, in feet, of driveway.

7: Inches of unshoveled snow in said driveway.

30: Number of feet I successfully backed up before becoming irreparably stuck.

84: Minutes spent trying to get out of my driveway.

3: Shovels used in the attempt.

800: Calories burned.

4: Curse words muttered silently.

1: Curse word bellowed loudly.

8: Handfuls of pebble-like bulb fertilizer used in an attempt to increase traction, since I had neither gravel nor sand nor real pebbles.

14: Number of cute woodland creatures who will likely die now from fertilizer poisoning.

1: BBC World Global News update heard in car as I tried unsuccessfully to back up, move forward, or go pretty much anywhere.

6: The circle of hell I will be relegated to for briefly thinking, "Whatever, Kenya. You don't even have snow."

1: Gallant friend who drove out to help me.

10: Seconds spent stuck after I made it out of the driveway and onto the unplowed street. Which is where the out-loud swear made its appearance.

2: Minutes spent during the drive to work listening to Intern George report on the UN Peacekeeping efforts in Darfur, wherein he healed me with his voice.

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