Happy Halloween

Tonight my Mom is making homemade donuts and we're having friends over. Actually, I'm inviting one friend. The rest are Mom and Dad's. I'm hoping lots of people bail or get caught in a snowdrift so that I can eat all the donuts. Will take pictures!

We're prepared for the trick-or-treaters, but they'll have to be a hardy lot since there is snow on the ground and it's supposed to be really cold tonight. On Sunday it dumped 8 inches during the 2 hours we were in church. Madness. There is a ward trunk-or-treat and Halloween carnival at the church tonight, but the word on the street is that the Young Women (ages 12-18) aren't going to be helping out because they want to go trick-or-treating. Tell you what, I don't think I'll be giving candy to any 15-yr-olds. I wanted to get a bag of something gross like Tootsie Rolls or those awful pink blobs of bubble gum that taste like asphalt and come in the yellow & blue wrapper. Does anyone know what kind I'm talking about? Anyway, I would keep the crap candy available for people past the age of trick-or-treating.

Now I should confess my shameful secret: I'm totally into Christmas already. I know I shouldn't be, but it's been snowing and there are rosy-cheeked children sledding in the backyard and I've just burned all my mom's Christmas music and I am in The Zone. Plus I found this book at my notjob and had to bring it home with me.



Do any of you already know Robert Sabuda's stuff? I'd never heard of him but the man is pretty much a genius. Look at this! The pictures don't really do it justice. I had been looking for kids' Christmas books at Jenny's request and came across this one. As soon as I opened it I knew I wouldn't be giving this to small children. Ever. They can have board books like regular children-who-just-eat-their-books-anyway. Jenny thinks I'm a jerk for not giving it to her kids, or to her, but that's just because she thinks all presents should be for her. But to show her that I am a loving big sister I will let her look at it when her kids are asleep.

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Truth. The Absolute Truth.

Was bored, thus googled stuff on Marilyn Manson and Twiggy Ramirez, found this lines that I wanted to share with you, especially those bigotted ignorant people that included many parents.

[quote]

The bottom line is that Marilyn Manson are not infecting the children, they are informing them. The world is not a place conducive to naiveté. "Well, that's why parents get so angry at bands like us because we give away the big secret. You go and raise a child and you don't want them to know the truth, so you go and hide them and shelter from everything instead of helping them."

[/quote]

Think about it.

=)

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I love it when things are all about me

This last weekend was our stake conference, and Dad came home from the priesthood leadership session on Saturday afternoon with news. The word from Salt Lake is that this year one of the main focuses for the Church is going to be the Young Single Adults. Specifically it's going to be about finding them, re-activating them, and retaining them. The numbers say that of all the members aged 18-30 only about 30% are active. It's the most at-risk age bracket in the Church.

This, to me, makes sense. It's easy to fall through the cracks when you're away from home for the first time and trying to figure things out. Plus that's just a generally turbulent time--we've got school and jobs and relationships and growing up and all kinds of stuff. And it's likely the most nomadic time we'll ever have. With all that moving around, it's even easier to drop off when the wards you move to don't make you feel included and welcomed and needed.

Example: I moved to Loughborough last year as a university student and attended a family ward. After some initial standoffishness, the ward members made friends with me. I got a calling (working with the nursery kids). I got home teachers and visiting teachers. I was asked to speak in Church. I felt like I belonged there and I was sad to leave.

However, a friend of mine moved into a different ward in the same stake. Her experience was not good. No one tried to befriend her. She never got a calling even though she asked for one. I don't know if she ever got home teachers or visiting teachers. It was a 45-minute walk to church each week. She said when people talked to her it was usually to ask when she was leaving. She could so easily have stopped going, and it's possible that no one would have noticed.

Luckily, she was not a brand-new 18-yr-old away from home for the first time. She was older and had a strong testimony, and church attendance was important to her even if the other members ignored her. Plus she was only going to be there for a year. But what if she had been a brand-new 18-yr-old away from home for the first time? What if she had been feeling lonely and homesick and shaky in her testimony? Do you think she would actually stick that out for three years of college? I don't think so. She would be out of there--and if no one cared enough to go after her she might never come back.

So yes, that kind of junk needs to stop. We are worth being welcomed and fellowshipped and it's not fair to write off students or young single people as "temporary" members of the ward. Instead people need to recognize that by ignoring and failing us they are damaging the future of the Church. I hope my friend's experience is the exception rather than the rule, but that doesn't make it any less of a serious problem.

I'm encouraged to see that the Church's stated focus is on finding, reactivating and retaining the YSAs rather than just telling us to get married. Again. Some more. Yes, marriage is important and it needs to be emphasized, but if the YSAs start to feel like they don't belong unless they're married then they won't stay. I think the Church recognizes that and is trying to move the focus on what members have to offer as individuals, rather than trying to lump everyone into categories.

Dad said they also announced that no new singles wards or branches will be created. The ones that exist will stay, but that's it. I wonder if this is the beginning of the end of singles wards. That wouldn't bother me too much, actually. I don't think they could get rid of them in places like BYU or other universities where there is a huge LDS student population, but in other areas they could.

I guess my final thought here is that I'm glad to be a part of a Church that thinks about these things. The basic doctrines won't ever change, but the Church actively looks for ways to adapt to the needs of a rapidly-growing membership, of whom single people of all ages and circumstances make up a rapidly-growing segment.

There you have it.

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Emperor - Inno A Satana (Wacken Open Air 2006)

Pure black gold. Period.

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閃靈登基十年演唱會_悲命格

Breath-taking. They have successfully reinvented the er-hu. Chinese pride! Hope for Asia's metal scene!

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Marilyn Manson Speech

Absolutely intelligent.

I second him totally.

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One more reason to miss England

Only I never saw this one coming.

While in England I ran out of deoderant and went to Wilkinson to buy more. From what I can tell, the UK is big on roll-ons, whereas here in the US we go for the sticks. After much deliberation I chose Palmolive Citrus Fresh Roll-On with Aloe Vera. It was funny to be buying deoderant from Palmolive, since I associate them with dish soap.

Anyway, I loved it. It smelled great, it never gave me marks on my clothes, it worked really well, loved it. English friends, you should really try this stuff. It's fab.

Anyway, I just ran out. It was a sad day. I had to go to Wammart to get more but knew I would not be able to replace my beautiful citrusy wonder. While I agonized over my choice in the deodorant aisle, I chatted with the lady next to me who was also agonizing over her deoderant choice. She didn't know what kind to get. I told her I didn't know either. She said it's insane to have so many choices, and I said that what's even more insane is that now you have all those rumors about the aluminum in anti-perspirant leading to Alzheimer's disease.

It was a mistake to have said that, because then she got really worried about it and started looking at the backs of all the deodorants, only to find that they all have it as an ingredient. I tried to tell her that it's probably just some Internet rumor, but she was adamant that she did not want to get Alzheimer's. So I made that poor lady's job even harder.

My final choice (after more deliberation than is healthy or normal) was Dove Cool Sensations Anti-Perspirant Deodorant with Cucumber & Green Tea Extracts. It also contains moisturizers. Because my whole life I've been walking around wishing that my underarms were moisturized. I though the whole point of antiperspirant was to remove moisture from the area, but what do I know? Also there was a little soap attached, because one day I will run out of my Lush "Honey I Washed the Kids" soap, and then I will weep bitter, bitter tears.

Anyway, we'll see how this new stuff turns out. If men begin stopping me in the street to tell me that my underarms are the most beautiful ever, I will know the moisturizers are working. My Wammart friend chose the same thing I did, and we said we would compare notes if we end up back at the same aisle once we've run out.

Not that we'll remember each other if the rumors about the aluminum are true.

ps. Oh my gosh. I just read the label on the back and it says you need to talk to your doctor before using this if you have kidney problems. What the heck? My poor friend probably read that and had a heart attack. Do anyone else's deodorants say that???

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Disgusted

I am getting increasingly disgusted at the random pimping flourish videos up on Youtube...

Ugh.

Anyhow, on a similar note, this week marks 2 years of commitment into flourishing. =D Time flies. I have successfully spent my youth on cards, and I like it! =)

The other long-term dedication passion would be metal music of course. It's going into its 6th year of listening. 6 is a nice number. Heh!

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Yay, it's snowing!

We only have an inch or so, though, so it isn't a true Alaska snowfall. That's the kind that dumps one foot of snow each hour and then steals your car and calls you fat. But it's beautiful. Last night I watched the snow fall under the street lights, which always makes me start humming Christmas music. And it's a good thing I'm leaving before the bliss can wear off.

On the way home from doing errands, we saw our first snow-related accident of the year. Someone lost control on a completely flat stretch of road in our neighborhood, went off the road, and plowed straight through someone's back fence. We didn't see the accident, we just saw the tread-marks and the big car-sized gap in the fence. Apparently that happened last year, too.

I think a good thing to do if I were the owner of said fence would be to just dispense w/the fence and instead put up a barricade of spears that point out at the road like on Braveheart. Then you wouldn't have to put up a new fence every year and I bet people would drive more carefully by your house. Just a thought.

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This is going to be interesting.

I shall be a Teamasek Poly BioTech Student tomorrow from 11 am to 4pm! =D In other words, I am crashing! Wheee!

This is going to be fun!

Can't wait,
LingNemesis.

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Billy_Gilman_-_Oklahoma

Isn't that awww-inducing?

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School's out.

School's OUT!!! However, queer enough, I ain't feeling too happy or anything emotionally strong.

Ack, this is weird. Am I starting to like this simple blogskin? It looks clean and normal for the first time of its lifespan.

Ah wells, I am sleepy in such a nice afternoon of PSI level 11, no way. I need to get out! =(

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Compulsion, conshmulsion

I prefer to think of it as a keen interest.

The notjob is going pretty well. The book sale is in a couple of weeks and my understanding is that I will be praying for sweet sweet death at the end of it. Also that people will try to steal books and will whine about the prices. Because they deserve to be smacked with a bookshelf.

The rule is that we can take books home to read as long as we bring them back before the sale. If we decide to buy said books, we can just give our supervisor the money. What I've noticed is that each day I'm coming home with a bigger and bigger stack of books. I did a round-up this morning and here's what I found:



The Harry Potter is to replace my brother's missing copy. And there are three of those Ladies Detective Agency books for Mom. I won't keep all of these, but at the rate I'm going there will be three stacks just like this before long. That's what Media rate shipping is for, right?

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Don't be mistaken

Don't be mistaken that yours truly has lost all of her desires to adorn her journal with gothic (as laypeople would say) imagery and darkness. For I am, or rather, my blog is currently undergoing a revamp (yet again) hiatus. Whilst I immerse myself in the grimest of all grim task of searching or attempting to create a decent blogskin that would satisfy my insatisfiable lust for picturesque perfection.

Behold the new blogskin, people.

Ah crap, I forgot to save my list of links. Now I have to put myself in utmost torture of consolidating all of them from their graves. Bleh.

In the meantime, bear with this spartan blogskin.

Your Relentless Nemesis of All Things Dark,
LingNemesis
25th October 06 AD

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2S03

I got promoted to JC2 with a overall score of 47 upon 80, clinching a second place in my class which would be called 2S03 from tomorrow onwards. Now I am confused of my path once again. Ugh.

Bleh. Will update more when I feel more alive. Laters, motherfuckers.

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Good things about fall

1. Autumn leaves, until a nice windstorm blows them all away in the middle of the night and suddenly you're living in a barren wasteland that seeks to crush and destroy you. I've heard.


2. Fabulous brown shoes made by the good people at Mudd. They're to go with my absolutely darling brown knee-length skirt with really cute pleats and trimming at the bottom. The best part is that I found it at Wal-Mart (or Wammart as it is generally known). Had no idea they sold cute clothes there. Way to be, Wammart.


3. Hallowe'en decorations in people's houses and yards. My mom even has a Halloween tree. Some of the neighbors have strings of pumpkin lights going up their front steps, or those jack o' lantern trash bags stuffed with leaves in their front yards. Others are going slightly overboard with 6-feet-tall inflatable ghosties and pumkins. But still, they're getting into the spirit of the thing.


We also have people who have decided to just bypass the whole Halloween/Thanksgiving thing and started putting up their Christmas decorations--like, weeks ago. Some have just put up their hanging icesicle lights, which Mom says they do because it's too flipping cold to be putting up lights in December. Others have put up those blue Christmas lights. I really dislike blue Christmas lights. They're like sci-fi Christmas.

The clear winner, though, is the house with an entire plastic Nativity scene assembled on the front porch. When the trick or treaters come round they're going to trip over the baby Jesus. But then, maybe the creche is meant to announce that there's a God-fearing family living inside and there will be no observance of Satanic holidays at this house thank you very much.

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NTU Student survey - Funny comments

HAHAHAHA! IMAO.

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Updates

Alright, today's Hari Raya, and it's a public holiday. How wonderful, isn't it? But I question myself, "Why am I indoors on a day like this?!" Especially when the haze has been eradicated, at long last, or at least, temporarily. I need to get out... Ugh.

On other things, I have been reading Friedrich Nieztsche's Ecce Homo, and I must comment that he's really a great thinker, considering he's from the pro-conservative era where thoughtcrime could get you tied up on a stick and burnt condemned as a heretic. Applaud, Herr Nieztsche.

Let me be a generous entity and provide you with an excerpt: "If I wage war on Christianity I have a right to do so, because I have never experienced anything disagreeable or frustrating from that direction - the most serious Christians have always been well disposed towards me. I myself, an opponent of Christianity de rigueur, am far from bearing a grudge against the individual for what is the fatality of millennia." pg 18.

Can I cue the listening audience for a long-overdue standing ovation for Nieztsche? =D

On related things, I think from all the ''dark'' influences in my short life of 17 years have accumlated so much that there's really no way out. The only non-related thing I have found a liking is Billy Gilman, but he has real talent. Heh. Otherwise, it will be all cold, dank, unrelenting inputs in my life; metal music, horror movies, horror novels, nihilistic philosophy. Ack, I have no idea why as well. Ah wells, I like it this way.

On other things yet again, 2 more days of school for my JC1 life! I am delighted at the prospect of resuming my vampire timezone schedule of sleeping at 3 - 4 am and waking in the noon the next day. Equally am I gleeful at the fact that I am getting rid *for good* of the irritating subject called Project Work, as it is constantly gyrating on my nerves. I so wish to maim and decapitate it in the most cruel ways ever imagined up by the human mind. Weird enough, I am not finding chinese such an abhorrent now, partially because it requires less amounts of studying, and also I find it more fulfilling with the fact that my JC chinese grade is better than my sec 4 one.

On random notes, I really wish I am in a coma or something similar. This world isn't the best place to be in. Oh hell, just let me be in a state of non-sensation for 2 weeks, I am grateful enough. Plus, I am waiting for my Subway Friends Card to fill up, of which it lacks just one more stamp. Thereafter, I could have an entirely free sandwich! Yay! Hahaha.

Oh I was checking the calender some minutes ago, it's 24th October. Which means 7 days to All Hallow's Eve or more commonly known as Halloween or Satan's rumoured Spawnday. =) Which also means I have less than 2 weeks to prepare for A Level Chinese and to unleash my speech upon the unsuspecting accessors for the Oral *wink* Presentation. Which also means 2 more months to Christmas Eve *wink again* *gifts*! And the mark of 2 years in flourishing!

I wasn't born with enough middle fingers,
LingNemesis
24th Okt.

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Singleton Svithe

Daltongirl, Sakhmet, and Cicada are my Circle of Truth. We've been sending each other group emails for years. They're the ones I tell my absolute most embarassing/pathetic/paranoid stories to. We get excited over little triumphs and big ones, such as Daltongirl's victories in parenting and yard-saling, Sakhmet's grad-school change-the-world coups, Cicada's fab new job which pays her to exercise and be creative, and my not getting trampled by moose yet.

A few weeks ago Cicada started a discussion of how we stay positive (or don't) when it comes to being single and having no romantic prospects and facing a lifetime of dried-up spinsterhood. Daltongirl isn't single anymore, but she was for a long time--and a single mother at that. She and Sakhmet both had wise things to say. Here was my contribution to the Dying Alone Eaten by Cats issue:

For some reason, over the last couple of years I have not felt as anxious/bitter/depressed about the whole thing as I have in the past. It has manifest itself in other ways, though, to be sure. Like the part where I kept dating WR even though we were both miserable because subconsciously I thought this was MY CHANCE, DANGIT!!!! Little things like that.

Part of me was afraid to go to England because if I didn't meet anyone there that would mean at least 2 or 3 more years before I could conceivably meet someone, date, and get married. But I think being away from UT for a little while actually helped. Not that I think UT is bad, but for a year I wasn't continually confronted by evidence of my supposed failure to find someone and get married. I didn't have to watch what seemed like every other person in the world being all schmoopy and married and dating and together. And the year before that I lived in a ward made up of amazing single women in their mid-to-late 20s who were gorgeous and talented and smart and doing fabulous things with their lives. So when I looked them I thought, "Okay. These girls are SO not pathetic. Being single like them does not make me pathetic either."

And even though I was not as global-minded as the fabulous [Sakhmet--who talked about how lucky she is compared to women in places like Darfur], I know that there are women who have it a lot worse than me. There are women who through phsyical or mental disabilities or poverty or illness or any number of other reasons will not only never get married but will also not get to have the kind of life as a single woman that they want. I am blessed because I'm not limited in that way--I can get the education, I can pick up and move, I can support myself, I can travel. The only real limitations I have are the ones I impose on myself, either through fear of failure or worries about "will this make me even more intimidating to men?" etc. So yeah, I don't feel justified in complaining too much about being single.

I also found that complaining about men & singleness makes me unhappy. I mean, don't get me wrong, I still do it, but I think I've gotten a little bit better about it. I feel better when I let myself feel optimistic that there is someone out there for me. And when I hear about deserving friends who are dating/getting married to nice men I've gotten better at thinking, "See? That proves there are good guys out there" rather than, "GAH!! The pool is shrinking, SHRINKING!!!! There will be nothing left for me!!!" Having experienced both, I would have to say that hope feels nicer than despair.

So. There are my tangled thoughts. I hope I'll be able to hang on to such admirable optimism when I leave the Land of Lumberjacks and head back into the dating scene.

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Speed of Pain

Breath-taking.

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One less thing to feel guilty about

A little while back Daltongirl wrote an excellent post about homelessness in which she drew on her experiences as One Who Serves the Homeless Community. So if you want to read something eloquent and thought-provoking and faith-in-humanity-inspiring, go read that. If you don't, you can read my post about homelessness, which follows below.

Anchorage has homeless people. I think it would be a very bad thing to be homeless in Anchorage because of how cold it gets in the winter. A few people freeze to death every year.

(And before the Alaskans can grab their pitchforks, I'm sure they have homeless people freezing to death in Minneapolis and Boston and all those other places that are in fact colder than Alaska. I get that. So you can just settle. And this is my blog anyway. And I'm leaving. Neener.)

When mom and I drive into Anchorage in the mornings we go through the Seward Highway/Lake Otis Blvd intersection, and nearly every single time we see several people on the corners begging for money. One is an elderly Native Alaskan man who may believe he is holding up a cardboard sign, but there's actually nothing in his hands. Still he stands there as though holding up an invisible cardboard sign for us to read. I have no idea what it says. Other people have shopping cards, actual cardboard signs, and all the usual stuff.

Yesterday, though, a man at the intersection was waving around these huge stick-looking things and shouting at the passing cars. Turns out he was selling whale baleen. Which is a thing I never supposed I would see when I left the house this morning.

Mom told me that Anchorage recently passed a city ordinance that fines people who give money to panhandlers. She didn't know what the fine was. You can give them food, or you can buy their whale baleen, or you can tell them where the soup kitchen is, but you can't just hand them money.

So. Remember that when you come to visit.

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LingNemesis -- [noun]: A lewd street performer 'How will you be defined in the dictionary?' at QuizGalaxy.com

Oh my. It hit it on the street performer part, but "lewd"? o.O

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Under construction

This might look messy for a little bit. Just pretend like nothing is amiss.

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I COULD NOT WAIT ONE SECOND LONGER! VöLKERBALL! Wheee!

That artwork has made my week! Rammstein never fails to amaze me. [I have stopped breathing now, too excited]

The whole nimes concert:
Reise Reise
Links 2 3 4
Keine Lust
Feuer Frei
Asche zu Asche
Morgenstern
Mein Teil
Stein um Stein
Los
du Riechst So Gut
Benzin
Du Hast
Sehnsucht
Amerika
Rammstein
Sonne
Ich Will
Ohne Dich
Stripped

5 songs from london:

Sonne
Rein Raus
Moskau
and 2 still unknown

3 songs from kangawa

Mein Teil
Du hast
Sonne

AHHH! I cannot wait!

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My mother kisses me with that mouth?

This morning my mom and I drove into Anchorage together. She drops me off at my notjob on her way to her actualjob. She asked me how the notjob was going and said that if she lived in Anchorage she would consider volunteering there as well.

Me: You could volunteer at the Eagle River branch, though.

Mom: Chuh. I'd have to get immunized before I could volunteer there.

On the way home we had this exchange after the big truck in front of us took its sweet time getting out of intersection, leaving us trailing behind as an easy target for other large assault vehicles or animals.

Mom: [general expressions of annoyance at the slow person in front of us]

Me: He has a handicapped sticker.

Mom: Oh, whatever. Just about anyone can get one of those things now. If he were really handicapped he would be driving one of those special cars.

Me: [blink]

As I opened my mouth to tell her I was going to blog that, she said, "And you can blog that. I don't even care."

So. Strong words, friends. If you're going to be having a handicapped sticker on your car you'd better make sure there's a forklift attached to it. Or something else to show my mom that you're not faking.

Also, Happy Late Birthday to my mother. She looks about 15 years younger than her actual age, which I must either attribute to great genetics or to the bathing in the blood of virgins by moonlight.

I'm not judging.

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Thornography

Despite much talk accusing the selling out of Suffolk's metal band, Cradle of Filth, I have decided to remain a filthest Order of The Dragon devotee, much to my reputation of Cradle of Filth Whore, and gotten myself their latest opus to date, Thornography.

Though lacking in vocal prowess on the part of Count Dani and the eye-pleasing display of wordplay, I must say I ain't *too* disappointed with this latest installment. Off the 12 tracks this ritual offers, I am utmostly satisfied with Tonight in Flames, Libertina Grimm, The Bryonic Man, Cetemetry and Sundown, and Under Huntress Moon. And I am equally, or not more, disgusted at their rendition of Temptation. It irks me off totally.

An analysis of how the whole album sounds here, Thornography departs what Midian or Nymphetamine offers: keyboards. The guitars takes centre stage, ripping your hungry earwalls off in their relentless barrage of assualt. Drums are prominent, providing ample backbone for the entire album. Vocals... Let me see. It is expected that Dani has past his glory days of a strong, full, shrieky vocal strength. What now left is a reminisence of low growls and not-up-to-scratch high shrieks that he used to be able to pull off with ease. This album also lacks the orchestral grandeur that Damnation and a Day possesses, which is both good and bad. Somehow, Under Huntress Moon reminds me of a good old classic, A Gothic Romance from their earliest of album, Dusk and Her Embrace.

The narrated poetry by Pinhead Doug in their so-called first instrument track (She Mourned a Lengthening Shadow from their 1997 EP V Empire was their first, ignorant fools), Rise of The Pentragram, was suspense-building ableit somewhat cheesy and unfiting especially the 'Peter Pan" part. Oh Hell, Dani, get your muses back... =)

I have yet to inspect the lyric booklet and its contents. However, I sincerely hope that the standard is still in tact and that I will not be hugely disappointed. In Dani, we trust. Heh!

In brevity, if you are new to the cacophony of Cradle of Filth, I strongly recommend you into getting this record, as it is highly accessible and not to hard to stomach for beginners. For hardened Filth followers who sought pleasures in their earlier works, like Midian or Cruelty and The Beast, I would part you with a word of advice that this is merely to add some spice to your array of Cradle records that you might want to maintain.

I rate this 4 filthy virgins, motherfuckers!

Speaking of Cradle of Filth, it is amazing that I have already been an Order of Dragon devotee for more than 2 years now. I could still remember me picking up Nymphetamine off HMV 2 years ago and getting slightly appalled by the pictures of the nymphs in it. Subsequently, I went to acquire myself with their 2003 epic work, Damnation And A Day the very next day. Now the crazy Cradle of Filth luantic has a spanning collection of almost all their LP releases and their second DVD, Peace Through Superior Firepower. I am just lacking Principle of Evil Made Flesh, and Candid and Heavy Left Handed DVD.

Let's see, what's left in my long Wanted list.

1. Rammstein's Voelkerball DVD (HMV needs to bring in the Limited Edition)
   
2. I's Between Two Worlds CD
3. Hennah Ardent's Origins of Totalitarianism
   
4. Bathory's Death Fire Blood CD (the order of the words always confuses me)
5. Brian Herbert's Hunters of Dune
6. Dan and Dave's Winter Trilogy DVDs
7. Legalize Murder Movie DVD (of which I have to order overseas, which will cost a BITCH)
   

Now, some philanthrophist who happened to chanced upon this depressing blog, you have one more thing to accomplish. Set up a LingNemesis Fund. I need it! Haha!

Other than my material wants, I have been breathing pollutants for over a week, finished watching the whole fucking Viva La Bam, flourished, considering my switchover to Poly which is more or less confirmed, wanted to be famous, laughed like a rabid creature alone whilst watching the Don Vito Montage, sang numerous songs to myself and then found that I am somewhat talented at that craft, wanted to record an album before I turn 20, slept at an ungodly hour of 5.30AM and ate many meals of fast food.

Last of all, thank you all for reading this, motherfuckers!

Yours, with filth,
LingNemesis
17th Okt 2006 AD

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Good News

In my parents' ward the dear Relief Society sisters do this thing called "good news" along with the announcements and such before the lesson starts. Anyone who has good news is invited to share it, and so far it's been stuff like "my son got his mission call" or "my daughter is 2 weeks pregnant and I'm going to start announcing it to the world NOW because I just can't hold it" or "I went one more week without killing my teenager" (not that anyone has actually said that last one, but I know they're thinking it.)

I had some good news myself but chose not to share it. My good news is this:

I'm getting out of here!

Thing is, people in Alaska are really sensitive about their state. And when someone doesn't want to live here they kind of take it personally. It starts like this:

Alaskan: So, are you looking for jobs up here?

Me: Not really, no.

Alaskan: Why not?

This is the part where I used to say that I don't want to live up here.

Alaskan: Well why not?

Me: It's too cold for me.

Alaskan. NO IT ISN'T! THERE ARE PLACES IN THE LOWER 48 THAT ARE COLDER! I WILL LIST ALL OF THEM TO YOU NOW!!!

So now I just tell them that there are no libraries in Alaska and that it breaks my heart. They accept this.

Or I tell them that I'm not getting any younger and must move where I can find me a man before my eggs turn black. They accept this. And encourage it. It's not like they have any sons to offer me.

I should say, though, in defense of the Alaskans, that everyone has been wonderful to me since I've been here. No one has given me any crap whatsoever about being single. People I haven't seen since high school tell me that I look beautiful. This is probably because I looked naff in high school, but still. It's nice to hear such things. And they ask how England was and seem generally interested to hear about my plans and stuff. So yes. They are cool and supportive. I'm still leaving, though.

I'm moving in with Jenny & Ed. Like she said over on her site, they're moving back to Provo at the end of October and have found a great three-bedroom apartment. I will pay them some rent and babysit their children, and they will cook for me and give me a big bedroom and a bathroom to share w/Savvy. And even though I've really loved hanging out with Mom and Dad and being spoiled and eating good food, it's time. They were taking bets weeks ago on when I would leave, anyway.

Good things about moving back to UT, even if it's possibly only temporary:

• It's easier to go to job interviews when you're not living in flipping Alaska.
• My stuff! Yay, my stuff is there and I get to have it back! Yay!
• My friends! Yay for my friends!
• Boys who are not 8 years younger than me
• Lots and lots of cheap college cars for sale
• My course-testing job, which should be enough to cover rent
• Lack of moose
• Lack of waist-deep snow
• Coney's Frozen Custard

I'm flying down on November 6th, right after the big book sale to which I am commited. Can't wait to see everyone!

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Aww.

I was looking at a couple of odd looking CDs on my desk a couple of minutes ago, then bored me decided to pop them into the laptop to see what's inside. I was overwhelmed with surprise! My old collection of songs!

I feel warm and fuzzy all over now. I listen to them, with a smile on my face, thinking how fast time has past. Jesus! I was already listening to Rammstein 5 years ago, when I was 12, year 2001! I am so amazed at myself! Haha.

I realised I have superb taste in music ever since I was young. There's no chinese pop crap at all. I am proud of myself. =D

Time flies, too fast,
Ling
15th Okt.

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Don Vito Montage

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

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Slayer.

There. A music milestone has just taken place. Slayer has officially invaded and desecrated Singapore's soil. The metal scene in Singapore never looked so promising. I feel so blessed by their presence in Singapore even though, to my shame, I didn't attend their performance. Slayer, you had made Singapore a better place to be in. Not forgetting the loyal metalheads all around Singapore as well. Such moumental happenings only increased my pride level of being a metalhead. 13th October, a date to be remembered.

It's really not easy for metalheads to stay together in such a place so devoid of metal as a community. Plus, all the shit being thrown at us and the bands we adore so much by the media and common folksman belief and ignorance, it's really a tough task for us, mere headbangers.

You must be wondering, what is my fucking point here.

Well, if anyone who thinks metal music as weirdo, loud, nonsensical music and parents who have kids who favours metal music, here's my little sermon to dispel your ignorance.

As being said above, yes, it is effort-taking of us to stay together and remain passionate in the culture we find it so comforting, despite all the adversities the society throw at us. Yes yes yes, label us as satanists, loners, punks, drop outs, outcasts, whatever. Hold petitions in vain to ban performances. Issue charges on musicians whose main aim are only to give their best of performances for their fans. Push the blame on musicians for their lyrics when murders happen. The list almost never ends. We don't care.

The harder you reject us. The harder the shit comes shooting back in your direction. In your face.

That line would have summed up what metal is about, in brevity.

We look cold, we look unfriendly, we look weird, we look utmostly hostile, almost untouchable. But the way we connect with each other is just pure amazing, almost magical. Have you, commoner, seen strangers coming up to each other saying, "Hey, nice shirt you have got there. Or nice boots!", then a friendship would have been established. You probably never.

That's how strong the headbanger bond is, much to the contrary of how callous we appear. It just gives me the warm and fuzzy feeling inside. It's almost like a religion, but I shan't go into that.

You parents just go on and rant about how we shouldn't listen to such loud, violent music. Let me question you, what does the everyday television or radio friendly music adovcate? The answers are sex, drinking, jealously, lust, greed for power, drugs, corny notions and brainless banter left, right and centre. It's just subtle, you just didn't notice it. Now. Metal and its culture focuses on going back to our roots, being ourselves, and believing in freewill, pouring out the sorrows of living (which is true, in this 21st century), nature (for black metal), telling lifestories of being oppressed and perhaps in the midst of all, question the listener on issues of the society. What is wrong with that?! Just because the imagery they protray and the explicit language they prefer to express themselves in, then they should be condemned to the deepest pits of Hades? By that, I could so predict their level of intelligence by this. This is absurd. I pause here to exhale a sign of lament.

Yes yes yes, continue to shove all the blames, all the stereotypes to us, yell at us to turn down the music/throw away the band shirts/stop buying the records, send us to church for re-education, oh yes, tell us, we will be smited and damned to Hell with no parole, push all the negativities in this entire globe to us. We will eat them all up, with no noise at all, we are the mute punching bags. We don't even retailiate when you throw a punch.

I am sick of this shit, let me just quote Marilyn Manson in one of his songs,
"Repent, thats what Im talking about.", "Cut the head off, grows back hard". Giving up isn't in own agenda.

If you managed to finish reading this, thanks. I could feel you repenting now, if yes, I have made my point.

On less serious notes, 2006 has been a great year for the metal scene. With Progressive metal band, Dream Theater in Janurary. Norwegian Black Metal legends, Mayhem in February. Trash metal titans from the States, Slayer in October. And to end off this blasphemic year 06, we have Norwegian guitar star, Yngwie Malmsteen in November.

This is certainly a good omen.

Metalheads, may I call upon you to unfurl the flag of metal to all corners of Singapore and take pride! You are appreciated! We shall thrust the universal gesture, \m/ into the pungent air and turn up the volume of our stereos and pledge ourselves into a lifelong dedication to this lifestyle for it is supreme. The Metal Reich is coming!

I smile at myself,
LingNemesis
13th October 2006. AD.

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So how important ARE things like principles, exactly?

One of the debates going on in the NextGen librarian world concerns the starting salaries of entry-level librarians. Lots of them are very low compared to other jobs that require graduate degrees. So here's the argument.

Side A says that new librarians need to stop accepting jobs that pay less than $40,000 a year, and then the Powers That Be will have to start raising salaries if they want to hire anyone.

Side B says that's all very noble and good, but new librarians have student loans to pay and families to feed, so they don't have the luxury of holding out for more. They're having to compete hard for the crappy jobs as it is.

Then we have me. I've been looking (albeit halfheartedly) for library jobs for the past couple of months. Most of what I'm seeing is in the 30K range--and some of these do require previous experience. Yesterday, though, I saw a position for an Assistant Library Director in L***n, UT. It's at a small public library but looks like a great job description. Lots of experience, lots of responsibility, and you get to put the word of "Director" on your resume, even if there's an "Assistant" in front of it. At the end of the description I see the salary range: $23,000 - $27,000 per year.

Now---

See---

Uh, yeah. Is it possible that what they're actually looking for is an Assistant to the Library Director? Because that's about what a secretary would make. I was sure this had to be a typo. They meant to write $33K - $37K. They had to have meant that. That's still low, but it's not insane. There is just no way.

I called my L***n-dwelling sister and told her about the job and the salary and how that can't even be right.

Sister: "Is it a City job?" (She works for the city.)

Me: "Yes"

Sister: "Then it's right."

She says that L***n has possibly the lowest cost-of-living in the state, and that's why the jobs pay less.

But still.

So I called the library director to confirm the salary, and she was very nice. She said that actually is correct, and she realizes it's very low. And she's sorry. But that L***n is a beautiful place and it does have a very low cost of living and it's a nice library and she's a really nice boss. The poor lady must have people calling her up multiple times a day to ask if this is a joke.

I told her I would still be interesting in applying for the position and she seemed surprised. "Really? Oh! Okay, great!"

If I even get an interview from this, which, let's face it, doesn't always happen, the question of whether a criminally-underpaid job is better than no job will become slightly more important to me. Or if a criminally-underpaid job that gives me much-needed library experience (and includes beautiful scenery, good coworkers, low cost of living, and close proximity to family & friends) is better than a well-paid job at Borders Bookstore or in something else completely outside my field.

Important questions, friends.

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These things happen to me because I am a winner

This morning I woke up after both my parents left for work. Because they have jobs and I don't.

I could hear the dog barking persistently in my garage, which killed the sleeping-in buzz. Finally I staggered out of bed and let her in, which made her ever so happy and loving and "Oh my gosh you're just my most favorite person in the world even though I wouldn't have anything to do with you last night when you wanted to play!"

On the kitchen counter I saw a loaf of banana bread that a neighbor brought over last night. It was about half gone so I cut a couple of slices and ate them for breakfast. While I ate I got on the computer and my dad IMed me.

Dad: Did you find the dog in the garage?

Me: Yeah I did. She wouldn't stop barking.

Dad: I came home earlier to get my cell phone. The little bread [the neighbor] brought over was on the floor in the family room half-eaten. That's why I put her out.

Dad: Hope you didn't eat any bread.

Piece of crap dog. No wonder she was all happy and excited and "please let me sleep on your feet while you read because I am Just. That. Devoted." And now my stomach is cramping up and I'm probably going to die. Excuse me while I go drink Listerine.

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I wanna get to ya billy gilman

I cannot be watching this. Never in my entire headbanging life. But, in reality, I am. Geez. The wires are out of place in my body.

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Rap!

Due to much unforeseen circumstances, I dug up my old rap songs and became very amazed at myself being able to rap along after 4 years absence from rap! 0.0

I could pull this off! It's continous rapping in 3 minutes!

Eminem - Rabbit Run

Some days I just wanna up and call it quits,
I feel like I’m surrounded by a wall of bricks,
Everytime I go to get up I just fall in piss,
My life’s like one great big ball of shit,
If I could just put it all in all I spit,
Instead I always try to swallow it,
Instead of staring at this wall and shit,
While I sit writers block sick of all this shit,
Cant call it shit, all I know is I’m about to hit the wall,
If I have to see another one of mom’s alchaholic fits,
This is it, last straw, thats all, thats it,
I ain’t dealing with another fucking politic,
I’m like a stewin bubble in him, till it filters up,
I’m about to kill it, I can feel it building up,
Blow this building up, I’ve been sealed enough,
My cup run it over I’ve been filled up,
But then explosion bust and spills my guts,
You think all I do is stand here and feel my nuts,
But I’m a show you what, you gonna feel my rush,
You don’t feel it then it must be too real to touch,
Feel to touch, I’m about to tear shit up,
Goosebumps, yeah I’m make your hair sit up,
Yeah sit up, I’m a tell you who I be,
I’m make you hate me cause you ain’t me,
You aint, it ain’t to late to finally see,
What you close minded fucks were too blind to see,
Whoever find me, is gonna get a finders fee,
Out this world and ain’t no one out there mind as me,
You need peace of mind, well here’s a piece of mine,
All I need’s a line but sometimes,
I don’t always find the words to rhyme,
To express how I’m really feeling at that time,
Yeah sometimes, sometimes, sometimes, just sometimes,
Its always me, how dark can these hallways be,
The clock stikes midnight, 1, 2, then half past 3,
This half ass rhyme with this half ass piece of paper, (tear)
I’m desperate at my desk if I could just get the rest,
Of this shit off my chest, again, stuck in this slum,
Cant think of nothing, fuck I’m stumped,
But wait here comes something,
Nope, it’s not good enough, scribbel it out, new pad,
Krinkel it up and throw that shit out,
I’m fisseling now thought I had figured it out,
Ball’s in my court but I’m scared to dribbel it out,
But I’m afraid, why am I afaid, why am I a slave to this trade,
Sign that I’ll spit to the grave, real enough to rawl you up,
What me to flip it I can rip it any style you want,
I’m a switch, yeah a bitch, jimmy smith ain’t a quitter,
I’m a sit here till I get enough,
For me to finally hit a fucking boiling point,
Put some oil in your joints,
Flip the coin bitch come get destroyed,
An mc’s worst dream I make them tense since they hate me,
See me and shake like a shangeling fence,
By the looks of them you would swear yours was comming,
By the scream of them you would swear I’m sawing something,
By the way they running you would swear the law was coming,
Its now or never tonight is all or nothing,
Momma, jimmy keep leaving on us, he said he’d be back,
He pinky promised, I don’t think he’s honest,
I be back baby I just got to beat this clock,
Fuck this clock, I’m make them eat this watch,
Dont believe me watch, I’m a win this race,
And I’m a come back and rub my shit in your face,
Bitch I found my neck, you gonna hear my voice,
Till you sick of it you ain’t gonna have a choice,
If I gotta scream till I have half a lung,
If I have half a chance I grab it, rabbit run...

Fun. =D

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Yes!

Extracted from Cradleoffilth.com,

18.What are your tour plans for next year?
What aren't our tour plans for next year? That would be easier to answer. Put it this way we are going to be doing a great deal of travelling both here in Europe and also over in the States. January sees the beginning of an American and Canadian tour, then it's Europe again in Spring with another US tour over the Summer, hopefully with another Ozzfest or something at least similar. And in-between there's Japan and Australia with an eye to playing Malaysia, India and South Africa on the way.

Euphoria is a serious understatement.

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Things I am learning at my NotJob

As mentioned previously, I've been going in to the main library in Anchorage to volunteer a couple times a week. They have me working on organizing books for the upcoming book sale. I have impressed them so much with my skills that I've been promoted from being an assistant volunteer in the nonfiction section to She Who Rules over Fiction. I will also be managing about 10 cadets from a local military school when it comes time to set up for what is gearing up to be a massive book sale. I am told the cadets will call me ma'am. I approve of this.

Anyway. Fun tidbits from the Dungeon (for that is what the underground room with all the books is called):

First off, these books are a steal. The hard-backs are $2, the nice big "Oprah" paperbacks (the kind you see in airport bookstores, which normally sell for $12 - $15) are only 50 friggin' cents, and the ratty little trade paperbacks are 25 cents. They need to be charging more for those Oprah books, I tell you. Nearly all of them are brand spanking new.

I can steal books from the shelves and read them as long as I bring them back before the sale.

People in Alaska (or possibly just the US in general) really, really love Nora Roberts. I've never read her. I don't know how anyone can write that many books--there is an entire section just for her. I bet she doesn't even write them anymore. She probably uses a computer program that takes material from the first 15 novels and then spits out a new one. Or perhaps, like VC Andrews, she is actually dead but still has books published in her name. In support of this theory, I noticed a sticker on one paperback which guarantees that it's a brand-new Nora Roberts novel. Readers must be noticing how familiar the stories seem.

Other people with their own shelves: Clive Cussler, James Patterson, Danielle Steel, John Grisham, Robert Ludlum. Meh.

There are entirely too many thrillers out there.

What is the difference between a thriller and a mystery? To me if it's about cops or detectives and uses the words "gritty" or "racing" or "explosive" in the description, it's a thriller. But I have no way to know if that is true. Is any kind of whodunit a mystery? (Note: I just did a Google search for the difference between mystery & thriller and found this helpful list. The lady could be talking rubbish, though.)

Some mistaken volunteer has been putting chick lit in the romance section. My brain nearly exploded. I caught the error in time, though. Chick lit is SO not the same thing as romance. For one thing (and this is how I explained it to the rest of the staff) it costs more. I'm probably earning the library a whole 5 bucks by moving those books back over into the Oprah category.

Another volunteer (the one I'll be replacing as She Who Rules over Fiction, because she's moving) and I spent all afternoon bundling up sets of books with a pretty yarn bow and a cute li'l dangly price tag. It was her idea. The sets were things like:

• 4 Oprah book club reads
• 4 books by Nicholas Sparks
  
• 4 books by Anita Shreve
• 4 Booker Award books
• 4 books by Pulitzer-prize-winner authors
• 4 of the same book (book-club sets)
• 4 books-made-into-films
  

I wanted to go crazy with those sets, actually. I could just see the potential, and the books were all there, stacks and stacks and stacks of them:

• Chick Lit sets (BJD, Shopoholic series, Nanny Diaries)
• Near Eastern Writers
• A.S. Byatt (I did do this one, actually)
  
• Irish Writers (Frank McCourt, Roddy Doyle)
  
• Writers Who Move to Europe and Buy Old Homes and Eat Fabulous Food (Peter Mayle, Frances Mayes, etc.)

But I eventually had to stop. Maybe I'll do some more this week. And so help me, if people try to switch out books during the sale or dismantle the sets I will go all Soup Nazi on them. "No books for you!" I mean, seriously. They are paying 2 dollars for $40 worth of books. It couldn't get any better.

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=(

Sometimes, I really wished I could be exposed to more things at a younger age, then perhaps I could be much more competent than I am now.

I look at all the stars and people who have made it, and I wish I could go back in time and given the chance to know and learn whatever I needed.

Just to rant a little here, since it's my blog,
I wanted to pick up drumming since I was 13, but it's clearly impossible now.
I wanted to attend German language classes, but the parents said they are impractical.
I wanted to form a metal band and immerse myself in the scene, but the parents' discriminatory thoughts crushed them all.
I wanted to know of such a thing called 'philosophy' earlier.
I wanted to learn more magic, but magic is expensive. [thus resorted to flourishes]
I wanted an environment that had intellectual banter instead of trivial chatter, not that I loathe my family. I just need that edge of stimulation.

Life is unfair.

However, I want to breakthrough them all and get my name across the globe. One day, you could google my name and find a dozen of fansites. One day, my fame will be as notorious as Marilyn Manson and the sound of my name will be as bright as Billy Gilman's voice.

Await for me.

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AWESOME

IT FEELS JUST BLOODY FUCKING AWESOME TO HEAR METAL ON SINGAPORE NATIONAL RADIO.

SLAYER, INVADE THIS ISLAND ON FRIDAY 13TH! HELL AWAITS!

Ok, calm down, miss Metalhead. Breathe. Breathe.

BUT IT'S JUST FUCKING AWESOME!

AHHH, I AM DYING. FROM HAPPINESS.

You could see my passion for metal now, motherfuckers!

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Like Sands through the Hourglass

I'm possibly starting to lose it. It's possible. Most of the pretty autumn leaves have now blown off the trees and all I see before me is dark, dark despair. But to keep my mind off that I will write about the things I have been enjoying lately.

These are in no particular order, but let's start on the hygiene front. This way maybe I will be better about remembering to attend to such things rather than staying in bed muttering words like "There's no point, anyway . . . ":

I love me some Cetaphil. I use the cleanser and the moisturizer. My skin loves them too. With their help I have mostly managed to dodge the "moving to a new climate" bullet that loves to wreak havoc with my face. I say mostly because I did in fact have a chin zit so large and persistent that it actually made my head tilt to one side if I wasn't careful.

For my 27th birthday I asked for anti-aging eye cream, which my sweet mother (the Mary Kay sales rep) gave me. I use it faithfully now in the hope that I will not turn into a wizened crone before my time--at least not on the outside.


Please say hello to "Honey I Washed the Kids" soap by Lush. I bought it back in England ages ago and finally started using it last week. (Note: I did use other soaps during the interim.) It's pretty much a honey & toffee-scented slice of heaven. If I were 7 years old I would probably say cuss words on purpose to get my mouth washed out with this stuff. I have to make it last because it costs something shockinawful like $8 a bar here in the States.

Oh, how I missed my Nutty Bars. Little Debbie is my friend. I like to separate the layers and eat them one by one. That is the true way, I feel, to eat a Nutty Bar. Although I did just see my dad smash one up in a bowl of chocolate ice cream, which also looks valid. Will have to try that when my parents get back from the grocery store bearing foodstuffs. They are also bringing me Hunts Snack Packs of chocolate pudding. My love for pudding packs caused me no end of confusion when I got to England where suddenly people referred to nearly any dessert as pudding.

British Friend #1: "So what's for pudding, then?"

Nemesis: "Yay, I love pudding! You have pudding here??"

British Friend #2: "Yes, it's apple pie with custard, me duck."

British Friend #1: "Ooooh, lovely. Can I have mine warm?"

Nemesis: Brain implodes

(Note: They don't have chocolate pudding in England. So don't even ask.)



Thanks to the good people at Blockbuster Video we have been watching the first season of House this week. Now that handsome devil Dr. House and his beautiful blue eyes have me even deeper in his thrall. He was in my dream last night, where he struggled valiantly to hide his feelings for me, because that is his way.

Also, after watching all the episodes at once I now have a deep and abiding fear of lumbar punctures. And MRIs. Because nothing good comes from those things, I can tell you.

We're now waiting anxiously for someone to turn in the second season so we can check it out. Even though I appreciate them for supplying me with House, those Blockbuster people are nonetheless on my crap list for not having Cold Comfort Farm so that I can introduce my mom to the joys of seeing something nasty in the woodshed.

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Realisation

I realised all successful metal musicians have troubled childhood. So do I! Await for my rise, motherfuckers?

Ha ha ha!

You have just read utter bollocks.

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One Voice

How dangerous can a metalhead get when she goes smiling whilst listening to a country album that focuses on a better future based on acceptance? Probably as dangerous as a choirboy.

In other, simpler terms, I am in love with Billy Gilman's One Voice as much I am in love with Manson swinging his lunchbox. =D I really liked Till I can make it on own, Oklahoma, There's a Hero and I wanna get to Ya. Ren hui, you have good taste! Hah!

Anyway, exams are over now and it doesn't make much difference. *thanks to the haze* Going out seems like a grim task. So I am here, watching Viva La Bam episodes all day long at EuuTube and flourishing.

Speaking of Viva La Bam, Don Vito has got to be the worst speaker of this century. To let you have a taste of what he sounds like, here's an excerpt, "Gimme a beer yah, garrahen waddyamean? Bam, you destoryed 8 of ma carrs, living with you is &^$#@ insane ahhhh" Yep.

Yesterday, I saw a lady with zippers for earrings. I went, "Who the fuck wears bloody zips for earrings?!" myself. After that, had dinner with my family at Fish and Co, which pretty much worsened in extremis throat condition. Ah wells. I think my voice is gone, after 1 full week of oral torture.

Speaking of torture, I had enough of waking up to see that the sky is engulfed by smoke. To see a clear sky with birds chirping is as rare as me getting Jerry Nuggets or meeting Edgar Allan Poe himself. Bleak future... We are in dsytopia, people! =(

To look at the calender is to realise that I ain't young any longer. The Queen of Diamonds is to be turning 18 in less than 3 months equals to legal access to booze, speed on the highway, and smoking a hole out of my pocket! Of three, I am only going to do the first as I have the speed phobia and I see smoking as a less classy hobby.

In extermis,
Ling
7th Oktober AD

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Marilyn Manson - great big white world

I am in love.

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DRUGS!!!

Oh my lovely. I am really in love. SWOON!

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antichrist superstar (live)

I saw God.

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The beautiful people (gente hermosa)

Oh My. I am mesmerized.

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I wanna be a supermodel

Here are the promised pics from the bowling-alley shoot. I liked the shirt, even if it did smell like cigarette smoke. The pants . . . I will probably not be wearing them again so much at all.


This is me and the Eyebrow of Death. And the shiny green Shoes of the Dance.


This is me possibly looking as though I have a flat bum and terrible posture. Only that's the magic of camera wizardry, because I have neither of those things, okay? My bum is cute. I do, however, have a stubby pinky, and even Ed's magic could not hide that.

You can see more of his photography, which I think is pretty much the best ever, at his website. If you can look at that first picture without yelping "PRECIOUS!" then you are stronger than I. Or possibly the goblins came in while you slept and replaced your heart with a piece of crumpled garbage.

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Been a while

The exams are finally almost over now, with only Ekonmiks left to knoquer. ^^ I shan't rant about how I think I have fared in the various papers, cause that's plain sleep-inducing.

Anyway, in the past days, I have; in brevity,

- a damn irritating cough as my throat is being desecrated by unlimited supply of phelgm.
- became a fish, as I got frozen in the examination hall and subsequently got thawed when I get out.
- lost my very last bit of sanity, as usual.
- became excessively obsessed over Marilyn Manson, watching each and every interview videos on Euutube possible.
- got amused by a comment made my Twiggy Ramirez that goes, "I wanna meet Eddie of Iron Maiden." [I just love insane people!]
- wrote for 6 hours straight.
- thought that I might die.
- thought that I could choose my parents, I'd choose Dani Filth and Marilyn Manson. [they can be both mom and dad at the same time]
- thought that I am a ghola mentat in disguise.

That's pretty about it. =)

I want to disappear,
Ling
4th Oktober.

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It has been lovely knowing you

Meet my doom.

It approacheth.

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I think someone should buy me this

Or this:
Aren't they cool? They're stickers that you put on your laptop. I would very sassy and cool with those things, I think. To be precise, I think Dell should buy me one. Or both. I deserve both. I've mailed my laptop in for them to replace the hard drive. So now I am laptopless and feel so very naked and cold and alone.

Y'all remember the Troubles I'd been having with it? Well a couple of weeks before the dissertation was due, I realized that the thing was actually kind of behaving. It hadn't given me any blue-screen errors or hissed at me or stolen my things while I slept. I decided that this was probably Heavenly Father's way of blessing me so that I could finish my dissertation, and that as soon as I was done it would probably burst into flames and throw itself out the window. Which was fine by me. I believe I was right, too, because two days after I finished it started misbehaving again with a vengeance.

Dell had me reformat the hard drive the other day and that didn't work. So I told them it was now their problem because I was done doing things. They agreed and sent me a box. In about 5 business days it should be back and working properly. And if it gives me any lip I will put it outside for the huge moose that gave me a heart attack yesterday when it jogged past the living room windows with its calf.

And THEN those Dell people will be sorry.

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