Beautiful Beautiful Spring

I'm thinking the spring, she has sprung.

Today was glorious and lovely, and I walked into town wearing my Chacos and it was heavenly. Only then it turned out that my winter feet weren't quite ready to be walking 4 miles in my Chacos, so right now they're needing some TLC. But they've also got to understand that they're about to get a week of this, so they'd best shape up. That's what I told them, anyway, as I hobbled the last few yards to my house.

The sun was out and the weather was warm and I swear to you people were beaming for no reason. And around here that's saying something. It's like we all had this attitude of "Look everyone! It's sunny! It's just like living in a happy sunny place like in the films!" Even the sight of a 2-year-old-boy scampering about with a thick gold Mafia chain around his neck couldn't kill the buzz.

I just did my last few errands before my trip, and since I have to put all of this into my budget spreadsheet you get to see it too, you lucky things.

(deep breath)

• £2 - frozen chocolate eclairs for Ladeeez Night tonight, which, now that I think about, maybe I should taste first, on account of I'd hate to bring gross treats to Ladeeez Night
• £8 - 2 t-shirts, 1 black and 1 pink
• £18 - 25 Euros
• £3 - travel toiletries
• £3 - very pretty brown & pink bag for the carrying of beach supplies, which was just the excuse I needed to get the bag I've been eying for the last six months but kept putting down because even if it is only 3 quid do I really neeeeed a bag? (Amyjane, I don't wanna hear it from you.)
• £5 - 2 cheapo beach towels which will probably shred to pieces the second they get wet (one is for Goldilocks)

I was told by WR that it's very important to have a beach towel to put on the lounge chairs, otherwise the Germans will get to them first with theirs, and that some Germans will in fact get up around 4am to put their towels out on the lounge furniture and will then go back to bed, safe in the knowledge that they've won the latest round against the Brits. I guess there's some sort of British-German thing with the lounge chairs. And I'm meant to be on England's side apparently. Germany is the land of my birth, though, so I don't know if I'm totally cool with that.

But then, maybe striking a blow against Germans that I haven't even met yet in the name of a country that isn't mine it will heal me from my memories of BYU Devotionals. So many times I wanted to kick those flipping seat-savers' teeth in, because you just know their 12 stupid friends are never going to find them in a stadium of 20,000, and the Devotional is starting in 1 minute, and even though President Bateman has asked everyone to flipping move in to the center so that the people milling about in the aisles can sit down, they refuse to budge. And so I have to keep hiking all up and down the Marriott Center like a flipping Dahl sheep looking for a place to sit. A few times my irritation won out and I sat down in the saved seats anyway and just ignored the glares and huffs. Their friends never did show up, so it's not like it mattered.

Also, is anyone afraid yet of the old woman I will inevitably become?

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There is a beam of hope...

I felt I was being toyed around for this past week. Whenever I come home, all nervous and checked my email inbox and the house phone's missed calls. I saw no news of Temasek Polytechnic. All the hopes, the elation that I would get from seeing positive reply have been destroyed by the total void of replies. Then the sadness crashes into my heart and breaking it even more. If I happen to be listening to Mutter, things would have been much much much more worse. The only thing I didn't do is to cut myself, but that is an act of foolishness, so I shan't do it. In addition, I have not been eating well recently. Imagine only eating a puny fish burger to last you let's say 10 hours? Hunger has became a trivial issue now. Okay, imagine that whole dread and wait, randomly popping out of your heart the entire time for around 2 to 3 weeks. You are getting close to what I am undergoing emotionally now. Close, I remind you. Close. But not yet.

Upon reaching today which was supposed to be the LAST day of the appeal result release, I clicked on my email inbox like what I did for the past few days or weeks, this time, I am totally worn emotionally, I just said to myself, 'Whatever. In or out. It's okay.' As usual, no replies. I have gotten so used to that dreadful feeling, it has became part of me. So I went on to do my usual surfing, then this New Email Box popped up and it says TP Admission Matters. My heart dropped to its blackest and foul abyss, htting the base. A force so strong, I could hear my heart rupture and feel its contents flowing out.

I said to myself, 'That's it. I'm staying in SRJC. No hope already.' And at the very same moment, my eyes swept past the short email message, and this is what it said:

"Your appeal is currently receiving attention and you will be informed lastest by end of April."

I knew it. This cannot be the end of it. Cannot be, and it must not be.

The smell of hope is brilliant.

I am not to be easily defeated,
Ling
31st March 2006.

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Stupid Blogspot erasing my posts!

Grrrr. Now all my funny words are just gone, GONE!

So here is my list of things I've already done to get ready for my fabulous upcoming vacation. As I write this I am listening to the torrential rain outside. Hah hah, torrential rain, soon I shall escape your clutches. Although I should say that there was a moment today when the clouds parted and the heavens opened and all was sunny and bright. I was lucky enough to be outside at the time, so I closed my umbrella and took off my jacket and walked around in the sunshine while everything smelled fresh and clean. There's a little hill on campus next to the library that looks out toward the lovely hilly green English countryside. Because I think I'm in a Jane Austen book/film, the first words in my head as I stood there were "Is there any felicity in the world equal to this?"

Only I didn't follow up by scampering down the hill and twisting my fool ankle, on account of I don't need any smarmy Willoughbys showing up, thanks. I already have a WR, who rescued me twice in one day--once when he picked my disorganized trash up at the train station, and again when he saved me from a conversation that was slowly fossilizing my brain. I don't know when I've ever been as grateful as I was when WR correctly interpreted my subtle kicks against his foot (he was near me but in a different conversation) as a whimpering, desperate plea for help.

Anyway, back to the list. Ahem. Things I have:

• 1 pair of trusty Chacos
• 1 pair of newer Chaco flip-flops
• 1 bathing suit
• 2 new pairs of £3 capri pants (score!) in tan & red
• 1 new white peasanty cotton skirt that kind of makes me look like Bo Peep but is very soft and pretty
• 1 new pair of £2 sunglasses, which make me look stupid and lop-eared just like all other sunglasses do
• 1 new spray bottle of SPF 30 sunblock, which turned out to cost an absolute fortune, especially since I wanted something higher than SPF 4. WR says that's because sunscreen is sort of a one-off purchase around here, and the makers figure if you can afford to go somewhere sunny then you can afford to pay out the nose for sunblock. Jerks.
• Aloe vera for when I burn anyway

Things I still need:

• Euros
• Baggies to put my sand in (don't laugh, my sand jars are the coolest)
• Slinky backless tops for all the drunken clubbing

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The things brainwashed child brides do for love . . .

I didn't write this next bit. It came off imdb news, which I know I should never ever read because it's made up at worst and completely exaggerated at best and does nothing to make the world a kinder and less tawdry place, but this still gave me a huge chuckle. Here's the latest on what that Dawson's River kid is up to.

Mom-to-be Katie Holmes is reportedly gearing up for the silent birth of her first child after Scientologists were spotted carrying signs into her home, reminding her to keep quiet during labor. The actress, 26, is awaiting the arrival of her baby with fiance Tom Cruise any day now at their Beverly Hills, California mansion. Since she began dating Cruise last April, Holmes has abandoned her Catholic beliefs to become a Scientologist like Cruise. Late Scientology creator L. Ron Hubbard urged mothers to keep as quiet as possible during labor so they do not traumatize the child. On Monday, huge placards saying, "Be silent and make all physical movements slow and understandable," were carried into the couple's home, to be displayed around the house to remind Holmes to deal with the extreme pain of childbirth quietly. Last year, Cruise attempted to appease outraged critics of the bizarre birthing method, insisting Holmes can make a little noise. He said, "There have been misinterpretations that the woman can't make any noise, and that's just not true. It's nutty. No, but just calm and quiet. I want Katie to be as comfortable as possible."

So, um, my question would be what happens when she is in labor and finally stands up on the table and demands an epidural and threatens to rip Tom Cruise's head off and eat it if she doesn't get one? If she's smart she'll have an anaesthesiologist hiding in the house somewhere, pretending to be a domestic servant of some kind, and then he or she can do his or her thing before the killings start.

When/If I have a baby, I will most likely be an Epidural All the Way kind of a girl, on account of I got this hangnail on my thumb a couple of days ago that hurt real bad, and even though it didn't look any different from the other thumb I was pretty much in constant pain and not sure how I could even continue to cope, and wondered why people weren't just looking at me, perceiving that I was in pain, coming up with the drugs. This makes me think that maybe, possibly, my pain threshold will not allow me to attempt The Natural Childbirth. So instead I think I'll ask them to start the epidural a few days before my due date. And if they say no then I could always get the stuff on Ebay and stockpile it at my house and find a black market anaesthesiologist (preferably whoever Katie's getting) to come hook me up.

Whew. Glad I've got that sorted. Best of luck to you, Katie. And since you're going to be hating life real soon here, I will not be the one to tell you that Tom Cruise may be hot, but he's not THAT hot.

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The voidness.

Amor E Morte - Cradle of Filth

Her bouquets are wilted
Too long has She slept
Their cruel red mouths darkened
To bowed silhouettes
I saw in a new moon
With Her scent on my breath
But then all to soon
Came the hunger for flesh

I held Her in eyes like necropoli
Laying Her on a tomb with a view
Lighting Her from Her feet
To the stars in Her hair
Drove sweet blood to Her throat
And My lips parted there

(In the tone of splintered bone)
She screams benighted
My limbs ignite
A carneal carnivore
On all fours to go...

An ebon Nemesis
From torture gardens of Dis
Having never breathed an Eve
As far narcotic as this
Two spellbound hellhounds
Hearts pounding loud
Racing Heaven out of focus
Under quicksilver clouds

"God is maimed come let us prey..."
To lunar deities that pave deadways
Twixt the living and the grave
Amor e Morte
To cast our fearl shadows there
We made Love bleed on a Deathbed shared
Where, begging Me to feed
To best be Were...

I licked Her wounds and ate Her rare

Argentinum spurred
Her watnon words incurred
A sin ridden tongue
To open trading in fur
Never were those gates of pearl
So rubbed to their cusp
Never were the Worlds above
So bitten with the bestial...

Seraphim fell like guillotines
Giving gracious head

Instead of harking prophecies
And how our brother sang
Amor e Morte
In the thick evergreens
Theirs was a chorus for raucous souls
Shifting shape and lifting napes
To commemorate
Erotic stains
Amor e Morte

Unfasten thy masque
Come skyclad to my arms
Leave thy gown a dark pool at thy feet
I yearn musky valleys that no Man hath seen
The chill keen of stars
Over Yew and deep wooded ravines
A hidden meridian
Where Midian may be...

In black antlered glades
Encunted in this forest Goddess
She whispers My name
I buck under flames
Animal nitrates
Howling through my veins

I ride riptides that wrest and writhe to the fore
New lusts ecllipsing lips
That brought me to this verge of War
With inner beasts unleashed
To feast, fuck and run
Rampart in chase of She wolf pacts
Forged on heat with setting Suns

I love the night
It would murder My soul
Should I ever fall blind
For though thy flesh haunts
I keep also in mind
The stampede of clouds
From Dusk's predatory sky

Purple versed like the funeral hearse
That first turned thee over to My...
Unbridled kiss when I found thee in mist
Dressed for the sepulchre
My Demon bride...

"God is maimed come let Us prey..."
To Lunar Deities that pave deadways
Twixt the living and the grave
Amor e Morte
Ours was a chorus for raucous souls
Shifting sape and lifting nape
To commemorate
Erotic stains

Amor e Morte
Amor e Morte

XXXXXXXX

As you can see, I have fell in love in Cradle of Filth completely and especially Thy Count Backwerdz or Dani Filth. That guy just kicks all wannabe wax-lyricers' arses. I heart Dani!

Anyways, there's still no news from Temasek Poly despite my strong urge to get in there. I only have 4 more days of hope left... These 4 days will be nerve-wrecking and the longest 4 days that I have undergone. Please... Just... Let... Me... In... Please. I beg you.

In the meantime, JC stuff aren't that hard after all... Now that I have seen what JC stuff are like, secondary school stuff looks like uber child's play to me now. It is so freaking simple and basic! I wonder why I used so much energy to it...

There is a lack of inspiration for me to continue blogging. Shall stop here for this post.

Ich will Temasek Poly,
Ling
27th march 2006 AD

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Spring forward! Or, you know, don't. Up to you.

Sunday was the day when everyone moved their clocks ahead by one hour. Only it turns out that Landlady J and I are not everyone, since neither of us remembered to do it. We both got up at the normal time, got ready, went to church, and then it STILL took us both a really long time to figure out that something was off.

In my case, I walked into the nursery and thought, "Huh. Why are they having snacktime at the beginning?" The other teachers figured out what had happened before I did, but they were too nice to say anything. It wasn't until parents started showing up to get their kids that I became all befuddled and the other girls started laughing at me.

But hey, shorter church! And it was sunny and 60 degrees that morning, and we took the kids out to look for birds, and I wore my kicky red skirt and displayed my Johnson's Holiday Skin legs. And no, I'm not vain or superficial. It's a public service, on account of I'm pretty sure no one in Gran Canaria (or England, or the space stations orbiting the earth) wants to be blinded by my vampire-white legs.

Of course, the nice weather only lasted long enough for me to walk home from church, all in love with the sunshine and mankind. I even got a honk from a carload of baseball-cap-and-gold-jewelry-wearing youths, that's how hot I looked. Once I was safely home it started raining.

Also it was Mothering Sunday, which turns out to be have a completely different history than Mother's Day in the States. Here it goes back to the tradition of sending kids who were working as apprentices or servants home on the 4th Sunday of Lent for some mothering. I guess on the other 364 days of the year they were told to suck it up and stop being such crybabies.

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Bitte...

My heart is in total chaos. Adrenaline has been pumping in my veins. I can't do anything without with a disrupting thought of my poly appeal.

Jia Hao, Calven, Jacinath all got their positive replies from the polys that they appealed to already. What is mine?! Where?! Please just say a Yes, my dearest TP! I really really really really wanna get into TP. Please...

Okay, I should stop here as I am ranting non-stop and being desperate... But I really want to get into Temasek Poly!

So far, there's quite a number of people I know is in TP, there are Aaron, Alden, Jia Hao, William, Edwin, Mac, plus a whole group of Soft people. If my appeal were successful, me and William are going to start a flourish club in TP. I will be The Co-Founder! How cool is that?! Plus, in addition to the reasons of an exciting life in TP, there's a whole bunch of Soft people posted there as well. We can have TP Soft gatherings and talk about music together! OMG, Flourish and metal music together in a cool place plus the fact that you are studying what you really like only, that totally kicks some arse. I am yearning for that, so badly... Ich will dich, TP! Und Ich warte auf dich for alle Tagen!

I got a feeling that I won't get into Biomedical science, but Biotechnology, but that's fine as well, as long as I can get away from SRJC!

Please say a Yes, my dearly TP! Oh how I yearn for thee, sweet TP...

[prays as hard as a stimulated bloke that I'd get a positive response from TP on monday]

Once again, I reinforce this. I WANT TEMASEK POLYTECHNIC! I do not care anything else.

Ich will TP für alle Tagen,
Ling
26th March 2006 AD

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This is me afraid of jinxing the whole thing

But I can't hold it in. I think . . . shhhhhh . . . it just might be Spring!



Shhhh! Don't tell anyone! Don't even say it outloud or it might go away!

And seriously, if you ruin this for me I will find you and hurt you. Don't mess with that SADD patient. Not that, you know, that's actually been confirmed by an actual medical person, but that's not the point. And it won't save you from getting pummelled.

There have been three beautiful sunny days this last week, and things are turning all greenish, and daffodils are popping up, and I just can't even take how exciting it all is. Because it turns out that in scientific terms:

England (January + February + March) = Crap

Also I hold the Intellectual Property rights to that equation. I am so glad now, thinking back, that I did my study abroad here in the fall (September thru December). Because I don't know how the poor kids who are only here for the Winter semester even handle it. I imagine it's those couple of weeks in April that make the whole thing worth it.

And now, if you'll excuse me, I need to go deal with the urge I'm currently having to go skipping about like those idiots in Seven Brides for Seven Brothers when they're all scampering and being coy on the farm in the spring with the baby lambs and stuff.

(Only as I wrote the part about baby lambs I seriously paused and thought, "Baby lambs?? PRECIOUS!! Oh my gosh where can I find some of those?!?")

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Have no idea.

Due the mounting worry of me not getting able to appeal successfully into Temasek Poly, I went down to TP itself and have a talk with Course Manager. I really hope they can appreciate my effort in coming down twice, once for the appeal, once for the 'interview'. Please... just... let... me... in... I beg you... Please. Please. Bitte...

Well, the Course Manager said she would take special notice of my case and seriously consider me. I hope so, really. I really want TP... My gut feeling tells me that my appeal might be succcessful, let's just hope so... Hope for the best. Prepare for the worst. Have faith, as advised by Travis who graduated from TP.

I want TP! Badly!

Anyways, ever since school started, my novelette has been on a halt indefinitely and it's a wasted effort, I have planned on the plot and everything, but my worn body and soul (all thanks to school) have disagreed on my writing endeavour. See? Jc makes you so tired and fucked up, you can't do anything you used to like to. There's something seriously screwed with Singapore's education system. It's still too acamedic after various changes, how do you expect creative people to emerge who are ground-breaking when all the young people are fucking tired every fucking day?! There will no time to do anything at all to let the young think for themselves and all.

Fucking. Conformity.

No wonder Kev can be so successful in his magic/flourish, as he's in Singapore America School, and not any MOE-governed school. No wonder Buck twins can flourish so well (in both meanings) and be so successful in their magic dvds, because they are in fucking USA!

Fuck. I hate this.

MOE is restricting us, making us conform unnessecarily. This is wrong! I will not conform and you cannot force me to. I see no point in getting so tired because of studies... Tyler Durden says,' You are not your studies. You are not your A Level Grades. You are not how many As you can score. You are not how well behaved you are in school. You are not the Student Council title.' Come on, get a life. Breathe. Life is much more than school. Think. Do not follow. Think. For yourself.

Other than the above angst-filled comments, I have a few more to go. =)

I see no point in doing Economics. Just don't like. No reasons.
I see no point in doing PW. Come on, people use Google everyday.
I see no point in doing General Paper. I think critically already.
I see no point in doing PE. I am not going to be a runner in anyway. Sweating wastes body fluid. <>

• Rammstein's Mutter.
• Cradle of Filth's Dusk and Her Embrace.
• Immortal's Pure Holocaust.
• A dozen of Tally Hos.
• Interview with a Vampire VCD
• Can't think of anything...
  
• Actually, I feel rather contented. I just need a fucking mp3 player! Herr Diskmann is dying.

Random: I feel extremely hungry... I wanna have juicy chicken right now.

Bah! TP, let me in! I will be highly grateful!

Nocturnal death knells of keyboard typing reverberates my void house,
Ling
25th March 2006 AD

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Am I starting to like SRJC?

OMG Jesus christ! Am I starting to like SRJC? Fuck. No. This can't be happening. I forbid it to happen. Hell No.

The reasons being my growing liking to That Sad Place are that, the people really appreciate my magic, there aren't many hecklers around like those in NCHS to ruin everything I try to do. That is just fantastic. The feeling of being engulfed by a circle of audience is just brilliant and refreshing. It feels I got back my old self again, not being that loner I have been for the past few days. Now I have people calling me The Magic Girl by many including one who is a rabid fan of yours truly. And he, also known as Elfie, gave me Oreos as a token of appreciation. Thanks Mr Bedok! =) I appreciate you watching my Pre-Lect Magic Show. And I swear, oreos are the weirdest token of appreciation ever.

And, to add to the reasons why I am beginning to like that place is that there's a rocker dude in my class! He's Josiah, also the CG rep and aspiring Student Councillor cum Rugby player, a really vocal person, like Nicholas Tan back in 4I. Anyways, it's so scarce to find anybody who doesn't listen to pop or whatever crap that is in SRJC, rock is good enough. So Josiah might most probably become my best buddy if I stay in SRJC. And he jams as well! I wonder what instrument he plays... Should be either electric guitar or bass. I'm rather looking forward to a chat with him on all things rock and metal. \m/ Rock on, Hail, whatever!

Whatever it is, I still want TP. Full Stop. Period. =D

Oh TP, oh my lovely TP, how I yearn for thee...

Please give me a fucking reply soon, TP!

I still want TP,
Ling
23th March 2006 AD

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Women are from Venus, Men are from WackyTownVilleLand

Now, don't laugh, but I was in this discount bookstore yesterday and I found a trendy chick-lit-looking paperback copy of Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus for dead cheap. I skimmed through the book back in 1995 or whatever when my dad bought it for my mom, but I didn't remember much beyond caves and rubber bands. Plus, I'd never even been on a date in 1995, so it wasn't like the information had any practical worth.

Only now I'm dating dear sweet WR, and sometimes I think we are both a bit baffled by what is going on in the other person's head. "Are you serious? That's what you think?" This isn't made easier by the fact that WR is a smart lawyer boy who finds logical arguments exhilarating, and I'm a opinionated headcase who would rather just have people do what I want without the conflict.

So I bought it. I figured it couldn't hurt and would at least be good for a laugh. But I also bought a Mother's Day card and fresh strawberries from the market and dessert from Marks & Spencer, so I'm still kind of cool, okay? Also, I'm pretty sure I look exactly like the girl on the cover. Only I don't have any hooker boots, sadly.

Anyway, last night I started reading and it was just crazy! The stuff I've read so far about women makes all kinds of good normal sense, but the stuff about guys was just insane. How can anyone actually think this way? It's completely irrational!

For instance, it talks about ways that men and women "score points" with each other. For women, both the big and the little sweet things that guys do usually score the same number of points (say 1), and they add up as guys do nice things. So a compliment and a flower and an "I love you" and a nice dinner theoretically add up to 4 points. Which I can see, even though I think some special things can carry a bit more weight. And if a guy doesn't do nice things (little or big) then they don't get any points and girls start to feel a bit sad.

But this book said that guys will actually TAKE AWAY points from women when they don't do the "right" thing at the right time. So, like, you could make a guy dinner and do all these nice things for him, but if he gets lost and you suggest that he ask for directions then you just BAM lose 30 points or something like that, because that's a not-supportive thing to do. And then the nice things you've been doing don't even matter anymore because they've been negated by the hugeness of the perceived non-support, and you're now 15 points in the hole without knowing it.

Wow.

Guys? Is there any truth to this?

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There are few people in England, I suppose, who have more enjoyment in music than myself--or a better taste

This guy in the computer lab just now was listening drinking his Coke and listening to his I-Pod. Not that I can judge him for the Coke--pretty much everyone eats and drinks in here. I just finished a Cadbury Dairy Milk Whole Nut bar. Anyway, and I suddenly recognized the music: it was Must Have Been Love by Roxette.

First off I had to laugh at the sight of this rugby-player-looking guy zoning out to cheeseball early 90s pop love songs. At the same time I was transported back in time to 1991 when I used to listen to the Pretty Woman soundtrack in my Walkman because it was one of the three cassette tapes I owned (the other two being the Footloose soundrack and a Paula Abdul cd). And just typing that for the Internet to see makes me realize yet again how very, completely uncool I was as an 11-yr-old.

Of course, it's not like I have cool taste in music now, either. (There are far too many Broadway musical soundtracks in my I-Tunes for that.) But that's neither here nor there, and I can just go ahead and be a musical loser if I want to.

Only there's something looming on the horizon that might send me plummeting from Musical Geek to Sad Trainwreck Avert-Your-Eyes-Children Freakshow. Someone asked if I could play my flute in the Ward Talent Show this spring if he got a woodwinds quartet or something together. Sure, no problem. I won't sound too bad if there are other people to drown me out. Only last Sunday this guy caught me and asked if I could do a flute piece if he found me a piano-playing accompanist. So we're upgrading from blending into a quartet to just me and the piano. I said that would be fine but that I don't have any music for that sort of thing.

Him: Oh, that's fine. The theme is showtunes, so--

Me:---I'm sorry, did you say showtunes?

Him: Yeah.

Me: And, like, everyone is only doing showtunes stuff?

Him: Uh huh.

Me: Well, um, I definitely don't have any of that kind of music. For the flute.

Him: Oh that's okay, I'll find something.

So now I can just picture it. I'll be up there onstage in some chorus-girl tuxedo outfit with the top hat and the fishnet tights dancing up there next to the piano while I toot"Too Darn Hot" on my flute like that girl in Miss Congeniality. Or maybe they'll stuff me into some 80s Dynasty-style evening dress with the blue sequins and the leg o'mutton sleeves and white tights and I'll have to play "Memory" looking all soulful with my eyes closed.

Oh gosh. Somebody help me.

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Over.

It's over. All over.

New me. New life. New startings. New people. New whatever.

Thank you for everything.

Best of luck for you.

Auf Wiedersehen.

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Motivated

At this point of time, I am really very spurred and driven in all aspects. Reasons being, I just watched a whole tonne of flourish videos and getting really inspired to work even harder on my flourishes. Secondly, I was flinging my head off like a pendulum sped up at a 100 periods whilst watching Live Aus Berlin, singing along with Herr Lindemann and getting a good workout. Metal music NEVER fail to revitalise and ressurect me.

Next, Dan and Dave just announced they will be embarking on a project to shoot 2, yes, 2 DVDs this year. Yes! I am so getting them, especially for the flourish one!

This was what Kevin said in the forums:

[quote]
Wow!

One on magic and one on... ace prods? You guys sure have a shitload that really inspired me in that area.

I wonder what they'll be called...

"Hooked on Dan and Dave"

"Dan and Dave do Dallas"

"Pasteboard Playground"

"What the Buck!?"

"Sybling Rivalry"

"The Good, the Bad, and the Buck Brothers"

"Lock, Stock, and Two Open Faros"

"TROTSTCSA- The Rest Of The Stuff That Chris Sucks At"

Nah. Probably none of those.

-Kev
[/quote]

Hahaha!

Anyways, to witness the sheer skillzorz of The Buck Twins, click Spring Jam on the left sidebar. But this time, it will be more impactful as The Buck Twins would have improved dunno-how-many-folds ever since the release of The System.

On a more serious note, the class sorting result is out today and I got into 1S03, which was my first choice, which is Maths, Chemistry, Biology, and H1 Economics. My class is female-dominated, with 15 females and only a handful of 5 males. Aww poor guys... [pats on the guys' shoulders] Bah, anyways, I still want to get into Temasek Poly! I want TP! I want TP! TP, please give me a reply soon, so I can quit going to That Sad Place. Just say Yes, I'd be tremendously grateful! Bitte.... bitte...

If it were really some awful news of my appeal failing, I will have to face The Midget for my Economics.... which is not to any of my advantages. I hate The Midget, 'cause her arms are so short. Okay, bad reason to hate a person for, but, I still loathe her.

Because....

I crashed H1 History lecture today and it was damn cool, at least better than The Midget. They talked about The Cold War. Me, being the History noob, sat and got thoroughly mesmerized by the lecturer. Okay I am weird, I actually favour History! Yes I do, I just never had the chance to do it... And why did I stupidly go choose Economics because the majority is? Shucks. That sucks. Back to the mesmerizing lecture, although I knew nothing about The Cold War except that Stalin is on USSR's side and Churchill is the British representation and that Roessevolte is teh big daddy in Amerika, I learnt something more about the Polish people during World War 2 and seriously, Ich liebe History! The lecturer showed us clips from The Pianist on the scenes where Der Nazis captured and killed the Jews and all that Holocaust related stuff. As I have watched the movie before, I knew what was going to happen and I was grinning wide as The English Canal when Der Nazis pulled the triggers and blood was spilled on ground like spilled milk.

Damn! History ist Gut!

There is always a vague blur of time when my imagination fails me... I shall stop here.

Listening to Buck Dich LOUD in mein Zimmer,
Ling
21st March 2006 AD

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Finally.

The reason why I am updating this so quickly is because I am actually feeling happy enough to blog unlike the period when I was updating as irregularly as a puberty girl. Haha. I am so crapped out.

The reason why I am so eurphoric, well, not really THAT eurphoric, is that I have found like-minded people in SRJC whose common interest is to pon all crappy programmes like Health and Fitness Workshop.

Here goes the crazy ponning action:

First thing first, I walked into the canteen toilet for whatever reasons I think you are intelligent enough to infer. When I am done and not yet out of my cubicle, I heard a wave of audible murmurs that distinguishingly sound like a secret Escape Plan. I wanted to pon as well, so I thought for a while, and finally decided to join them into the Grand Espace Plan. Being people with similar interestes, they accepted me into The Anti-Crap Party without much hesitation and aided me in this cruical getaway. I am truly grateful to them, because if weren't for them and their impromptu generousity, I won't be able to tell you, my loved reader-fiends, the Horrors in That Place. This is real-life testimonal, heed it well. If you see any lone souls wearing the grab with that SRJC collarpin, leave them alone. They are sad enough. Really.

Enough of that whole grateful shit, so we decided to walk out in threes, all being chatty and busy doing Something and distract the old and MOSTLY HARMLESS guards. So yeah, we got out of That (Sad) Place rather unscathed.

Anyways, anyhows, I have thought of a topic to research on for my PW. Heavy Metal Culture! I'm choosing Momentum anyways. I will so enjoy doing this, I swear the teachers will go,' Okay, okay. Enough!' Lol. I kidd.

Bah, talk is talk, I still want to get into Temasek Poly by hook or by crook or by rook or by book (book?!) or by whatever that ends with 'ook'! JC isn't my cup (or mug) of beer, cup of tea is overrated. The reason is simple. I hate beer. Beer is bitter. And I spit anything that is bitter. =) I drink teh 1337 Vodka.

I WANT TP! I WANT TP! I WANT TP! I WANT TP! [carries a placard that says TP is teh 1337 5cH0.0L! and walks around in SRJC, with a self-satisified smile]

And, the sad part of this post, Jedi Master JasPas Christ Deck has prophecised the Coming of His A Levels and thus concluded His ultimate decision to stop the glorious art of flourishing for a total of 8 months while He retreats back to His Abode to study His scriptures.

So Our Messiah came and went. This is the Start of A New Age.

With the pre-ordained Knowledge gained from His much-valued teachings, we will strive for The JasPas Perfection in all things flourish and continue our Journey to The West Side Chaos. Things have since changed ever since JasPas ceased wielding His deck, Jackson 5 is no longer a band consisted of young black singers, it has evolved into a mega looking cut invented by The Buck Twins. Aw, see how fast time has past? We clutch to our Hearts in utmost melancholy as we witness The Loss of The God's Messanger, and contort our faces in grimace and hold back out swelling tears. Aw! The pain!

Okay, I'm fine. I'm fine.

Alrighty folks, time's up and I gotta bid you farewell.

Still in shock of The Lost Messiah,
Ling
20th March 2006.

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Lest anyone think my father is growing soft

So I was on Skype with my parents tonight, and Mom told me that she bought the new Pride & Prejudice. And I got all wistful and jealous, because man that was a good movie.

Dad: The new one is TOTALLY better than the old one, by the way.

Me: Are you just saying that because it's shorter or do you actually like it better?

Dad: Absolutely because it's shorter.

Mom: He would have liked it better though if it had that Catherine Zeta-Jones in it!

Dad: Well yeah, any movie would be better with Catherine-Zeta Jones in it.

Me: Yeah, but who would she play? She's too old to be anybody in that movie.

Dad: I don't care who she plays.

Me: So what, she could be the tavern wench or something?

Dad: Heck yeah, man. That's a great idea.

Mom: You could make a subplot out of it--Mr. Darcy's Indiscretions.

Me: What, like, Mr. Darcy and the Tavern Wench?

Dad: See, there's a film worth seeing. Or she could always be that one guy's, um . . . who's that one guy?

Me: Which guy?

Mom: Willoughby? Wickham?

Dad: Noooo, you know, the one with the sister or whatever, and he's his friend . . .

Mom: Bingley?

Dad: Yeah, that's the one. His sister. (pause) Only if she was in it then nobody would be looking at anybody else.

Me: That's great, Dad. Way to kill the plot there.

Dad: Hey. I'm just saying. I bet if it had Catherine Zeta-Jones in it WR would have watched it with you.

Me: Nope, he wouldn't've. If it'd had AK-47s and explosions in it, then maybe.

Dad: (laughing) Well yeah, that would've made it tons better too. And so would Catherine Zeta-Jones.

Me: I'm putting this in a blog post, Dad. I'm doing it right now.

(Then we all discussed how my mom wants to own all the Jane Austen films and I told her to avoid the ones from the 1970s because they're rubbish.)

Dad: Turns out we have that Emma movie with whatserface in it. We saw that the other day.

Me: Gwyneth Paltrow?

Dad: Yeah, her. Man that movie's stupid.

Me: Gosh, strong words, there. So do you hate it more or less than you hated Sense & Sensibility?

Dad: I dunno, which one was that?

Me: That's the one where you always get up and leave when Willoughby pulls the pocket sonnets out of his coat, and you say, "Man, I can't take this crap, you just know that guy's a creep."

Dad: Ennhhhh . . .

Mom: You know that one, it's the one with Kate Winslet, Alan Rickman, Hugh Grant, Emma Thompson . . . "

Dad: They all suck.

Then he burst out laughing, all pleased with himself. And Mom and I sort of had to bust up laughing at that point, too. He did kind of clarify that he meant the films rather than the actors. Because I happen to know he likes that Alan Rickman.

As we all do, on account of it's impossible to resist that velvety, velvety voice of his. I dare anyone to try.

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Philosphy for me.

You scored as Philosophy. You should be a Philosophy major! Like the Philosopher, you are contemplative and you enjoy thinking about the purpose for humanity's existence. Theater 100% Chemistry 100% Biology 100% Philosophy 100% Linguistics 100% Journalism 100% Sociology 100% Engineering 100% Psychology 100% Art 100% Anthropology 100% Mathematics 92% English 92% Dance 75% What is your Perfect Major? (PLEASE RATE ME!!<3) created with QuizFarm.com

So, I am supposed to be a Philosophy maniac.

I knew it... I have been thinking along that path since secondary 2, but didn't go research on it until recently after my O levels.

So, people, await for the next Nietzsche! =)

Posing a classical Nietzsche stance,
Ling
19th March 2006 AD

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Some updates.

It seems like I haven't been updating regularly even since the start of school. Nonetheless, I'd try my very best to keep you, my beloved reader-fiends, updated on my recent morbid thoughts and accursed whereabouts.

Now. Where exactly to begin in this morass of thoughts?

First off, Operation Pon is a roaring success, I felt as though I have escaped from a concentration camp, which is rather true to a certain extent. The subsequent roaming around at Orchard ressurected me in every manner, making me feel so much more alive than being a zombie in school. Then came the march holidays which are short-lived indeed, being one week. To futhur reinforce the love for the school, those horrible fuckers made us go back to school for holiday lectures. I coined a brand new term for lectures, I call them 'The Lectocaust', lectures and holocaust? So yeah. The Lectocaust spans over the period of 4 fucking days, but of course, being a rebel of me, skipped some lessons. The only good thing about JC is that they don't give a fuck whether you attend lectures or not, so hehe. I present to you, Operation Pon II: Terrible Tuesday! There's only PE and Chinese on Tuesday! So FUCK that and let's pon. =) Anyways, I'd really hope that I could get into Temasek Poly... [prays]

Screw everything academic now.

Count Backwerdz, or more commonly known as Dani Filth from Camp Cradle has generously updated us with news of the production of their latest album. And, surprise, surprise, that Bam bootlicker, Ville Valo from H.I.M will be featured in the latest opus of The Filth. Interesting combination there. Soulful, sexy and arousing Finnish vocals and disturbing, werewolf-like and ear-splitting English shrieks, I wonder how they will pull it off. But, as Dani has promised, this would be the best Filth album yet, I will trust Dani. Dani hasn't been too well these few days, and he can't touch booze being regimented in a yeast-free diet, let's all pray in vigil for our Brother for his quick recovery of health. Take care, Count Backwerdz!

To read more about Cradle's studio update: click here.

Random: I totally adore Dani Filth! I can go insane.

And, during these period of intellect void, I have stoned and thought of these various pointless stuff.

If I were to get married, the theme song to use would be none other than Heirate Mich from Rammstein! So imagine, that song being played loud in the restuarant when me and my the other half walk down the isle. Uber kickarse! Other than that detail, I would like to arrive in a hearse as well, unlike those conventional crapped out white Mercedes Benz. Be creative, pals! My wedding would kick Marilyn Manson's arse, well not really, I must still respect MM.

I got myself a new phone! So say Auf Wiedersehen zu mir spielen Telefone! My latest muggle gadget of communciate is teh 1337 s3xY RazR V3! Everthing was sweet except one part, that battery flap. I have been trying to pry out that fucked up flap for around 3 hours and nothing even moved. Great, just great. Blah... Oh! My sister helped me, and she took less than 5 minutes. Someone fucking pull the trigger at my temples please!

And, i have just realised this. It's already the end of March, one quarter of 2006 is gone! Jesus christ, time really flies. And, more shockingly, I realised that I have absolutely done nothing ever since Novemeber last year. Yeah, I rock! Stoning rules. =)

And, I got my pay cheque! Hello shopping spree! Hehe. Embracing my feminine side. lol.

Alright, nothing much more to rant about.

In Filth, we trust,
Ling
19th March 2006 AD

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I've been using some fruity soaps, Maggie!

Happy St. Patrick's Day to everyone, even if I don't know if I'm allowed to just wander around saying that over here.

My Scottish lecturer told us today that she was supposed to be born on St. Patrick's day, but that she's glad she wasn't because they probably would have tossed her in the river in some sort of sack with a stone in it. "Not that I came from a secterian household or anything."

So yeah. I'm going to be careful. I bet Streets will have some good stories today.

If I were home in the States in my own house, I know exactly how I would celebrate. I would wear something green, and I would make corned beef and cabbage and invite people over and we would watch Waking Ned Devine. Only I wouldn't boil the corned beef this time, because that was kind of scary. I'm thinking slow-cooker or oven instead.

Or I would just go to Daltongirl's house, where she will be doing all the same things but in a much more accomplished and tasty manner. Of course, if you go to her house you may end up watching Far and Away instead ("Tell Me Yeh Like My HAT, Shannen!!) or possibly The Secret of Roan Inish, which is a lovely film and features actual Irish people instead of a crazy crazy man-child and his stick-figured Aussie wife who eventually had the good sense to jump that crazy ship and once she did she started winning Academy Awards. Which . . . now that I think about it, is not a bad plan. Good on yah, Katie!

As it is I have no idea what I'll be doing tonight other than writing this report for my How To Be The Boss of People class (my report title is Being The Boss of People from Far Away: The Advisability of Teleworking). If I'd planned better perhaps I could have planned some really cool meal with new potatoes and soda bread and green food coloring and stuff, only I sort of forgot what day it was until last night. Also I just watched Ned Devine a couple of weeks ago, so that's out too.

Dangit.

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This week just keeps getting better

So Tuesday afternoon there was a knock at the front door and Landlady J went downstairs to answer it. As she passed the window she said, “There’s a van out front, are you expecting a package?” I started to say No, only then I remembered that mom mailed me a package last week, so I said, “Oooh, it’s my package from my mom with the Reeses' peanut butter cups!” and ran downstairs, shoving aside furniture, cats, small children, abandoned puppies, you name it in my rush.

Only when I got there I found a 3-feet tall cardboard box with flowers designs on the outside, which sort of made me stop dead in my tracks with my mouth hanging open and my brow furrowed all confusedly, because why would my mom send something that huge all the way from Alaska? I opened the box and found this HUGE (like, really really huge, takes-two-people-to-lift-them huge) gorgeous arrangement with 12 white roses and lilies and enough foliage to recreate the King Kong set. There was also a sweet card from WR that made me do the Girly Squeal (the one reserved for puppies, Savvy in pigtails, really tiny doll furniture, and now sweet cards from WR).

SO much better than Reeses, people. And I never thought I would say that about anything.

I arranged them in the vase myself, which is why they probably look somewhat lopsided, and why all the people who actually know how to arrange flowers are snickering right now, but that's just fine. And the lilies haven't bloomed yet, so I still have that to look forward to. It's the gift that keeps on giving, pretty much.

WR came over that night for a bit and I hauled the vase down from my room to show him.

WR: WOW! They’re like, huge! They’re bigger than they were in the picture.

Me: Yeah, they’re really beautiful.

WR: So do you think they look Elegant?

Me: Yes, they’re very elegant, I would say.

WR: Oh, good. Cos that’s what their name was.

So I asked what inspired him to just up and buy me flowers, because I was thinking maybe there would be some gushy details. Also I wondered it they were possibly to do with the slight spat we'd had on Sunday regarding P&P, wherein I decided that perhaps we just, ahem, weren't ready for P&P yet. ("A strop?? What does that mean? I'll show YOU a strop!", etc.)

WR: Oh! It was on my task list.

Me: Huh?

WR: Yeah, I put it on my task list in Outlook earlier, and then today it came up at the top. “Buy [Nem] flowers.” So I did!

Me: Oh. So . . . what made you think of putting it in on your task list? Like, when did you do it?

WR: Don’t remember. I think I put it in there sometime this weekend. Was it Saturday? What happened on Saturday . . . . Huh. Yeah, I dunno when exactly.

The splendid sentimental fool. :-)

So then for the whole rest of the next day I ran the very great risk of being deservedly smacked in the face, because I had to keep stopping myself from saying things like, "Oh, I'm sorry, what? I'm going to the Canary Islands in 19 days AND I got gorgeous flowers from my hot English boyfriend? Why yes, yes I did!"

--smack--

Ow.

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Hallo!

I know, I know. It's been one whole week since I have updated. Now, now, keep silent while I get my lazy arse or hands moving.

First thing first, Ashford's Tornado DVD Trailer is out! And, well, of course, I got flattered so much after watching the trailer video, which can also be found here, PUTFILE BANNED SINGAPORE! Okay, I should be humble and modest. It's a virtue... =) Ashford should try featuring me as a bonus or something in the DVD, I believe it'd be good. Haha. Kidding! I'm not that good yet.

Secondly, someone gave me a link on the chemical side of Hell. It's really interesting. For all chemistry nerds out there, you'd love this essay on Hell. Click here! I believe Hell is Exothermic, as Hell emits out heat energy from the rectants which consists from various sinners and blasphemers alike. The reaction between the sinners and Hell was so great, the heat generated within the reactions was way greater than the heat generated from the reformed sinners aka the Products. Thus viola! You get an Exothermic reaction! Another alternative reason could also be that Herr Satan is a selfish person, he depises hot weather despite his title as Satan much to his chargin. He wanted his infernal (yeah right) chambers to be cooled at all times, thus made all the heat to be emitted outwards. Thus, DA TA! Exothermic again. Hell - what a practical place.

Anyways, on a saner note, JC orientation has pissed me off as much so that I carried out Operation Pon on last friday and bid farewell to the dumb orientation programmes at 12.30 pm! I rock! From what I can vaguely remember, my house, Sparta was leading all the way till the last day, but I was told today that Athens won in the end! I was dumbfounded. WTH. How can this be possible in anyway? OMG. Bah anyways, after much deep thoughts, I have came up with the conclusion that JC isn't for me. Metalheads cannot survive in JCs.

They'd ask, 'Hey, so what kind of music you listen to?'
I said, somewhat proud, 'Oh metal music. Nice stuff.'
They'd go like this or something like this, 'What? Metal? Plastic? Lol.'
I'd go, 'FUCK YOU.', then leave them.

Haha!

Hence, I think it's best to appeal to Temasek Poly which had been my target since the start of sec 4. I really hope I can get into my preferred Biomedical course. The mere thought of struggling with GP/Chinese/PE/other random school crap is disturbing. I already have had enough of SS/Geography/Chinese/PE in NCHS. I do not wish to allow to myself suffer anymore. Enough. Is. Enough. [prays hard I'd get in]

Wow. I am surprised that I could still remember my Chemistry stuff! Had my first JC lecture today, was Chemistry. It's about Atoms, Molecules, and that Mole concept. I absorbed rather quickly and with ease. I actually enjoyed it. Hah.

Anyways, I just bought Cradle of Filth's Vemprie EP. It's fucking good for a 6 song only CD. Especially for Queen of Winter, Throned. That song is pure epic passion for whole 10 minutes, fuelling your metal lust to their full potential, launching yourself into a frenzied bout of headbanging. Pure gold. Simply adored Cradle of Filth. Dani, you rock my world! =)

Alright, that's it for now!

To feed on the blood of the weak,
Ling
14th March 2006 AD

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Is Edwina going on holiday?

Ten points if you know what that's from.

So. Yesterday was pretty much the best day ever, because I booked a holiday! My very first English holiday and I booked it and gave them English pounds and everything for it.

In 20 days I'm leaving for Gran Canaria with Goldilocks, because she needs a break from the English weather as much as I do. We'll get to spend 7 heavenly days napping on the beaches and snorkeling and being warm and eating seafood and feeling actual sunshine on our skin and getting sand for my collection and avoiding cockroaches and the time-share salespeople.

Our hotel will be "allocation on arrival" so we could end up at pretty much any resort on the island. We're guaranteed at least 2-star accommodation, though. And either a balcony or terrace. And I put in a request for quiet rooms on a not-ground floor, because that is safer.

So now I'm finding it hard to concentrate on things NOT related to my vacation. When I walked home in the pelting freezing rain/snow, I thought, "Huh. It's freezing and wet right now. Also I'm going to the Canary Islands." I've already started making lists of things to take with me:

• My Chacos
• Sunscreen (lots)
• Sunglasses
• Euros
• Kicky skirts

And I want to tell absolutely everyone about my trip. "Hi, I need to check out this book and pay my fine, and also did you hear that I'm going to Gran Canaria? Because I am. They're expecting me."

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I am officially a victim, or, how I nearly died

So get this! Someone totally tried to break into my house with me inside it and I had to call the cops and everything!

Last night I cooked myself dinner (spiral pasta with nastyish carbonara sauce, broccoli, and shredded mature English cheddar--quite tasty) and then walked out of the kitchen, planning to take the pasta upstairs to my room. Those of you who remember my stairs, and the part where tobogganed down them on my butt, will remember that there's a window at the bottom of them, which faces the front road. There's a pedestrian walk-through just next to my house and a bus stop in front of my house, so it's quite common to see people outside. Also it was just after 6, so it wasn't dark yet (but it would be soon).

As I walked toward the stairs I noticed a man out the front window. At first I thought he was standing at the top of the walkway, but as I got closer to the window I realized that he was actually standing in my driveway. And I thought, "Huh. I don't know that guy." Also I noticed that he was carrying some sort of cricket bat or hockey stick or other implement in his hand, but that he was too old to be one of the high-school or university students. He started walking up the driveway toward the window, looking all shifty, but then he saw me. He turned and ran, yelling, "Someone's home!" Which, you know, kind of blew his cover right there, as WR later pointed out.

So then I thought, "Huh. Why would he care if someone's home?" (Sometimes it takes me a second to connect the dots.) But then I realized that my landlady's car wasn't there, and that it had gotten a bit darker while I was in the kitchen and I hadn't turned any other lights on yet. The house had probably looked dark and empty from the outside. "Wait . . . was that guy and his friends actually planning to try something on a busy street next to a bus stop and a pedestrian walkway when it's still light outside? How stupid could you be??" I ran upstairs and looked out the back window to see if he and his friend(s) were out there, but I couldn't see anyone. And I started compiling a list of physical characteristics for when I called the cops.

Caucasian male
Mid to late 20s
Short dark hair
Stocky build
Under 6 foot (I'm no good with heights. To me most people are just "tall.")
Wearing black trainer jacket and dark jeans
Carrying some English-type club

Then I noticed Cicada on IM so I told her what happened and asked if I should call the cops. She confirmed that yes, I should, if only to report that there's suspicious activity in the area. So I did and I told them and I felt very much like a concerned and responsive citizen. Only then they asked if I was alone in the house, and that's when my stomach sort of dropped a bit. Because logically I had nothing to worry about anymore--it's not like they would go back to a house they knew wasn't empty.

But I started thinking about what would have happened if I'd been in the kitchen a minute longer. I would have been alone in there when they smashed in the front window. Of if I'd gone upstairs a minute earlier, and if they were instead going around to the back door, which would have been smarter because they wouldn't have been seen as easily. But I wouldn't have known anyone was there until I heard the door open and 2+ men come in. And then I would have had to decide whether to risk going downstairs and surprising them in the hope that they would run away, or whether I should stay upstairs in my room and call the police on my cell phone and just wait for them while the people downstairs break and damage things and possibly touch eat my chocolate chips and then make their way upstairs, with me not knowing if they had guns or knives or what (and yes, some people do have guns, even if this is England).

And that started making me feel a bit rattled. I texted WR and he called and I told him what happened. He was pretty impressed once he knew I was okay and everything. "Wow, you are an official victim of a crime! I've never even been a victim of a crime!" Which is funny, since he lives on Drug Dealer Street. But he came over to make me feel safe again, and it worked. And because I could have died, we watched the first segment of Pride and Prejudice, which made me feel lots better. I think WR hasn't quite caught the vision yet, but he will. And he did laugh several times. And sometimes it was over actual funny things, instead of the non-funny things like the first words of the film. WR burst into loud hooting laughter and started making fun of Mr. Bingley and Mr. Darcy's accents. "Ew yaaarsh, it's nothing to PEMbuhLEEEHH, fwah wwrar yeerrsh BLAH!" And I had to tell him to shut his face or there would be no sausage rolls or pitcher of gravy with a straw in on Sunday.

But, back to the part where the house was almost burgled. Needless to say, I am very very grateful that I came out of the kitchen when I did. And I have to attribute it to the Lord looking out for me. I'm so lazy about remembering to pray over my food when I'm by myself, but last night I remembered to. In the prayer I also asked for health and safety, and 3 seconds later I walked out and startled a burgler. So let that be a lesson to everyone about why we bless our food.

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Because I need to finish a paper and my brain is gone

Today is the day of random news and tidbits, since I can't get it together enough to write something real.

1. On Sunday WR's family invited us over for the traditional English Sunday Dinner (roast chicken, potatoes, yorkshire pudding, lots and lots of vegetables, brown gravy all over everything). I'm not used to putting brown gravy on vegetables-that-are-not-potatoes, so I usually keep my broccoli and peas and carrots and cabbage clean. Only then people get concerned that I don't have enough gravy. But I say WR has enough for the both of us, and possibly enough for three or four other really hungry people. Anyway, the meal was great and I was beyond full afterwards. During the cleanup I noticed WR sipping from a mug and asked what he had in it, since it seemed a strange time to all of a sudden be sipping hot chocolate. He grinned and showed me the mug, which had brown gravy in it.

2. A couple of weeks ago I was telling my Dad that I'd been having a rough time with school stress and the lack of sunshine and what people swear has been an unusually bleak English winter and a whole load of other things that seemed to be just sucking my very will to live, and he said, "You know what this is, right? You need to go to Hawaii." And I realized that he was so, so very right. This is exactly the time of year when all the Alaskans get ready for their Hawaiian vacations, because if they have to live through one more cold dark rubbish day they're just going to go outside and throw themselves under a moving snowplow. Just the thought of Hawaii made my black shriveled soul begin to heal. Only it's a little bit out of the way for me, so I'm planning a 7-day trip to the Canary Islands instead. I will go there and I will lie on the beach and I will feel peace and rejuvenation. And UV rays.

3. WR is going to watch Pride and Prejudice (the real one with Colin Firth) with me on Sunday. I'm so excited because I haven't seen it in ages. I told him last night, after we'd decided to get together Sunday afternoon. That way he couldn't pretend to be busy in order to get out of it, which he immediately tried to do. "I think I might have something on that afternoon, actually. I think I'm quite busy." Only I'm pretty sure he was just kidding, and that he has wanted to watch the film for months and months now but just wasn't sure how to bring it up. He's bashful like that. But there will be sausage rolls. And maybe I'll make a pitcher of brown gravy with a straw in it. That should keep him happy.

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Famous by association

So today in my Child and the Book class we had Stuart Hill come in and talk to us. Of course, I had no idea who Stuart Hill was, but it turns out that he wrote a fantasy-type novel called The Cry of the Icemark, and it has done alright for itself here in the UK. I guess it's doing okay in the US as well, because he says he gets quite a few letters from American teenagers, but not so many from British teenagers: "Because I think maybe American teenagers are just a bit more forthright, whereas British teenagers are probably just picking their noses or something." So now they're publishing a 2nd installment and he's writing the 3rd now. Because trilogies are good things, unless you're talking about things like Austen Powers. The idea that anyone thought two more Austen Powers movies belonged in the world just proves that any day now the earth is going to burst into flames. Feel free to argue with me--I have no problem with you being wrong.

So Stuart Hill is a pretty cool-seeming guy. He said he wrote stuff for 31 years before anything got published, and told us great stories about different jobs he had during that time, like the just-out-of-high-school job in a car manufacturing plant that didn't have bathrooms or running water, so employees had to pee out the windows. That made him decide to go to college. Then he became an archaeologist, so he had lots of cool stories to tell us about anthrax pits and contaminated wells with horse skeletons and chamber pots in them (which, you know, could have been the problem).

Also he said that he spent years and years "reading the market," which is what all the How to Get Published books said to do. So when crime fiction was in, he wrote crime fiction, etc. But it wasn't until he just chucked it all and wrote a book that he wanted to read that things happened. Which I thought was good advice, really.

Stuart Hill said his favorite comfort read is King Solomon's Mines, which I, um, had never heard of before. It reminds him of his favorite teacher, who used to read the classics to them. He asked us what our comfort reads are, and my mind went blank. Because when I hear "comfort reads" I think "comfort food," which makes me immediately think of beef stroganoff, and then all I want to do is eat vat after creamy fattening vat of the stuff.

But then once I thought about it I would have to say mine are A Little Princess or any the first five books of the Anne of Green Gables series (Books 6-8 are about Anne's obnoxious kids, and I so don't care about them and their smarmy "mummy dearwums" rubbish). Also the Little House on the Prairie series, because I read them over and over again in elementary school and used to daydream about what it would be like to live on the frontier and battle the elements and get all excited about getting 1 whole piece of candy for Christmas. Only then I moved to Alaska and found out that battling the elements is crap, and that when you're battling the elements you'd better have truckloads of candy and beef stroganoff, because otherwise you have to eat your sled dogs.

I still like the books, though.

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Your MOM'S on strike

So my lecturers were all on strike today, only I still had to go in and work because I have a piece of coursework due on Friday. And I finished it today, on account of I have become One Who Finishes Things Early.

Anyway, the strike thingy you can read about here at the BBC. Also you can go to the actual Higher Education Union webpage if you like. I'm sure my Dad will be the first one to race over there, on account of he just luuuuurves him some unions. Anyway, I read some of the literature they were passing out today, and it does sound like they're getting the rubbish end of the stick. I guess last year the government said it would increase teacher salaries, only then when the academic year got started there was no change. And then the people in charge said they'd never actually promised anything. Or something.

The part I didn't know, though, was that it's not just the strike. They're also going to boycott grading student assignments and tutoring students and all kinds of stuff until negotiations work out. So it turns out I needn't have bothered getting that report in early. The only thing that concerns me a wee bit is that I'm meant to turn in my "What I'm Doing My Dissertation On" form this Friday, and I'm hoping that my dear advisor won't consider it Going Against the Union to sign the thing.

Also the funny part was that as all my lecturers were out picketing, I still had to go to this tutorial thing for my "Management and People Skills" class. Today's topic: Conflict Resolution. There's one guy in my tutorial group from the Middle East, and I get a kick out of his hard-line solutions to things: "You must make sure people are working all the time!" "You must watch your employees very carefully." "There should be no reason for people to be talking with coworkers! If they are talking then they do not have enough work to do."

The other funny moment today was when the tutorial teacher talked about conflict resolution with what she termed "awkward" (read: insane) library patrons. She even warned us of who we will generally find in the Unholy Trinity of Crazies, at least if we work in academic libraries. According to her, the most difficult library users are:

Music/Drama students, because they get all dramatic on people and forget they're not on stage;
Law students, because they forget that they're not in a courtroom (Hi, WR sweetie!);
Surgeons, because surgeons are just jerks. (Jaime, can I get a witness?)

So there you have it. And now you can go celebrate strikes by watching Newsies, where you get to see Christian Bale dance and sing like he's in NKOTB. And that, friends, is something.

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SRJC

I am in no mood to write paragraphs, so I will just do it in bullet-form.

• My OG is Sparta Delta. Yes. Red house. Yes, Gryffindor. Ugh.
• Thebes logo is nice, a snake coiling around the rod. Very Slytherin-ish.
• I had my own version of The College Anthem, now it rocks even more and sounds very weird to an untrained ear. [For more information on my version of the lyrics, do email me.]
  
• When my OGLs asked if I were a damn vegetarian, I almost said I am a Mein-Teilatrian. Hah!
  
• The 2 teachers who caught my attention are Mr Edwin Tan and Mr Philips Tan, they remind me of Mr Neo too much. I really miss Mr Neo and al things NCHS and the air con hall most of all.
• The food was okay. At least better than NCHS.
  
• The notorious song, Bestrafe Mich is playing in my mind all the way.
  
• I was imagining too many ought-to-be censored stuff, but I will continue to do so.
  
• The first day was a latent blur for me, I can't remember much.
  
• The second day is okay, equally crappy.
• The school hall is on the first floor, which is very weird.
• I am still a loner, as usual, but of a more serious degree.
  
• I have not spoken to anybody in a proper conversation yet.
• I am feeling like crap inside.
• I am surviving on metal music, the hope of meeting Justin and my thoughts.
• I have not revealed that I am a magician or a metal music maniac yet. That's quite a feat. Due to the fact that I am rather famous in NCHS for those 2 things.
  
• I miss Fantasma magic and Toy R Us.
• I miss slacking at home!
• I miss reading fanfictions by novel-load.
  
• Enough said.
  

Auf Wiedersehen. Tomorrow is another hellish day. Wish me luck, I will need it.

Melancholy overwhelms me,
Ling
7th march 2006 AD

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The best gift ever

So I forgot to tell The Internet about this when I found it, but it's too good not to share. Back before Valentine's Day, I looked around online trying to think of good "guy gift" ideas for WR, and I came across the CATGee Home-DNA Kit (to see it, scroll down to the very bottom of the menu--it should be the last item).

Here's what the description says:

CATGee Home-DNA Kit

Store it indefinitely and in complete safety.

In no time you'll be giving CATGee to your friends, your family and those you love.

Its on course to become the craze of the decade.

CATGee arrives in an elegant brushed alloy container, no bigger than a DVD case.

DNA collection kit featuring the full medical bit. Everything to collect a sample of your DNA at home, simply and painlessly - swabs, sterile pouches and a pair of sexy disposable gloves.

Easy instructions to allow your unique DNA cells to be kept forever without requiring special storage conditions.

Now, please forgive my ignorance here, but what the crap? Am I missing something?

First off, I have no idea how one is meant to pronounce "CATGee." Also, what's up with the DNA-gathering thing? Is it so you can secretly run paternity tests or something? Or do you analyze the other person's DNA to see if they're good breeding stock? Or is this some way to do the Billy Bob Thornton/Angelina Jolie thing where they wore vials of each other's blood around their necks? (And speaking of Angelina, I just got a mental picture of Billy Bob Thornton and then one of Brad Pitt and man that's an upgrade. Good choice, Ange, even though I'm totally on team Aniston when I actually allow myself to dwell on such tawdry matters. Which I don't. Ever.)

Either way, that's just strange. As is the idea of sexy disposable gloves. I mean, yeah, maybe disposable gloves are sexy if you have some weird CSI fetish--in which case this whole kit would probably be right up your sick alley. Me, now, when I think of disposable gloves I think of the food service industry, dentists, and gynecologists. And I actually find all of those things to be the exact opposite of sexy, thank you very much.

But then, you know, maybe I've got it all wrong. Because this thing is on course to become the craze of the decade. So who am I to argue with that? I mean, I could argue that it's 2006 already and that so far the decade has been DNA-testing-craze free, but you probably shouldn't listen to me, because I'm a crazy person who doesn't find disposable gloves sexy.

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A new beginning.

Dearest reader-fiends of this blog, tomorrow is an important day. New school. New Beginning. New People. New place. New personality to adapt. New me, basically. So you have probably guessed, I got into a damn junior college. Yeah, got into Serangoon Junior College. Justin's my senior! =) Hello flourishing fun in school!

First thing first, I really hope there's some metalheads there, so I can at least have some 'Court Jesters' for accompanying purposes. Or better still, my sec school people or SMC people, although the latter group is more relieving to see. Sec school people = EEW. Bah, I just wish there's a better breed of people there, unlike my previous dwelling, NCHS. Damn. Proletariats.

Secondly, I am feeling a little weird that I am actually going back to school! It's been around 4 months plus since I had went to school for a real purpose, that is around 120 days. That is fucking long. I don't know if I could still tap into the 'studying' frequency, but I'll try. Sigh.

And, I am half looking forward and half dreading for tomorrow. Talk about the looking forward part first. There's finally something to do, except to read fanfictions and thinking too much, polluting my mind. I look forward to meeting new people, expanding my already wide social circle. I equally look forward to absorbing new knowledge in school, I am Jack's nerdy side. I look forward to slowly spread my name as a magician in school and getting 'famous' like what I did in NCHS. But that isn't very important, I had enough of performing after working for Fantasma.

The dreading half now. For around 120 days, I have been a total computer whore. Here's my schedule for my 'Stoner's life'.

• Wake Up at around 10 am.
• Brush teeth and on the computer.
• Check forums and emails.
• Blare metal music loud and reply in forums.
• Look for stuff to eat. Usually nothing.
• Sing to myself to the songs and headbang.
• Start reading fanfictions.
• Break. Check forums again.
• Read abit more.
• Buy lunch from downstairs.
• Eat and read more at the same time.
• Listen to more metal.
• Go youtube.com for music videos.
• Check forums.
• Chat with people on msn.
• Read abit more fanfictions.
• Read more.
• Flourish in front of the webcam.
• Brother is back. Break from computer.
• Read my novels while brother is using computer.
• He's gone, use computer again.
• Talk crap with Siyang all day long on msn.
• Thinking of weird stuff.
• Listen to more metal.
• Check forums.
• Usually it's already 12 am here.
• Then, read my novels on my bed with metal playing at the background.
• Finally sleeps at around 2 am.
  
• Rest. Repeat. Rest. Repeat.
  

Yes, this is my life for the past hundred days. I gotten so used to it, the computer is like fused to my soul and body. I seriously do not know how am I going to survive without this muggle thing. I think I am going to miss all the fanfictions and stuff, especially talking crap with siyang and those fanfictions. Maybe I should have a book to record out my dirty thoughts so as to keep me sane? Most of all, the waking up part. I have been sleeping around 2 or 3 am and waking at 10 or 11 am, skipping breakfast entirely, for a hundred days. Oh JasPas Christ, I have no idea how to get back to reality. =S

Bah, I am a kindergarten kid. Shoot me. Ma!!! I don't wanna go school! LOL. Kidding!

Tomorrow - A Milestone for me,
Ling
5th March 2006 AD

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I am SO gonna tell . . .

So did you guys know about the Hollywood A-list's dirty little secret? They totally come over here to England and do commercials for stuff like liquor and tampons, on the understanding that no one in America will ever see it because they wouldn't want us to know what sellouts they are.

Only I know, and I'm telling. Here is what I've seen so far. And I'm not talking about the odd magazine ad for really really expensive watches and stuff that you see in GQ or Vogue, or the Halle Berry/Julianne Moore/Kate Bosworth makeup ad.

I'm talking Gwyneth "Why Yes, I Win Oscars" Paltrow strolling around in a field on the telly, murmuring about the pleasures of Estee Lauder's perfume.

And Ben "Why Yes, I Used to Win Oscars Before I Became Such a Smarmy Ratbag" Affleck in commercials for men's deodorant. His face is also featured next to the deodorant shelf in the seedy high street drugstore I frequent.

And Beyonce "I am Now Officially a Commodity Rather Than an Actual Person" Knowles on bus stop posters marketing some fragrance.

And Nicole "Hah Hah, Sucks To Be You, Katie Holmes" Kidman in this really long artsy-fartsy commercial for Chanel No 5.

The most surreal moment, though, for me, was when I was in the grocery store and rounded a corner only to find myself staring at a life-sized cardboard cutout of George "I Hang out on Lake Como with Brad" Clooney, schilling whiskey. And I was horrified, even though I kind of wanted to steal the display, just a little bit.

I'm sure there are others, but I've forgotten what they are. I'll keep you posted.

And speaking of people who should know better but still persist in making stupid choices (ie., choices of which I do not approve), let's talk about the denim skirts. They're still wearing them over here, even though it's the dead of winter! Can y'all tell me if people in the States are doing this? They're these denim skirts, and I've never even seen them in the clothing stores, so all I can come up with is that these girls are actually creating the things themselves by cutting off the legs and crotches of their jeans. And then they put on a black pair of leggings and think they're good to go, only they are so, so not.

Sweet young women, if you are reading this, or if someone emails this to you, or calls you up and reads it to you, or prints it off and walks across a prairie just to take it to your house and hand it to you, please hearken well.

A clothing choice like that does not say "I am a self-actualized individual who posesses both style and wisdom."

Instead, it says, "Hi guys, I'm blind and my butt can no longer sense the cold. Feel free to get me drunk."

Have a great weekend, everybody!

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World Book Day

Did y'all know about this? I guess there's this thing called World Book Day, and it's this big huge deal, only the UK hasn't invited America to play yet.

Only now that we know about it, we can play if we want. For example, I will be going into town today to one of the fine bookshops, where I will check out the special 1 pound books that are available today. I'm thinking I'll get one for Savvy, just to scare her dad about the possibility of her growing up British with all the subliminal messages I send her (like when I use the word bit instead of part and say uni work instead of homework, or the way I'm going to start secretly mailing her packs of McVitties and pictures of Prince William).

Anyway, I will let everyone else decide how they're going to observe this blessed World Book Day. A few suggestions if none are coming to mind:

• Go to the library
• Go to a bookstore
• Go to amazon.com if you're really that lazy or deskbound
• Read a book
• Read a book to someone
• Read a children's book if you just don't have the attention span
• Dress up like a book character
• Dress up like a book
• Dress up like a librarian
• Dress up like a naughty librarian
• Refrain from burning books
• Refrain from burning librarians
  
• Try a new author
  
• Write a book, get it published, become rich and famous

See? No matter which option you choose, today is pretty much win-win.

ps. The beautiful and culinarily-talented DanaLee has just pointed out that it's Dr. Seuss's birthday today! So all right-thinking people should go to Seusseville and take a look around.

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One Year Anniversary.

Happy Birthday, Once upon an atrocity! You are finally one year old! Look how much you have grown? [sobs like a proud parent whilst looking at a healthy and growing child] Make a wish, boy! Blow the candles! Today is your day! XD

Okay, enough of the birthday crap. But seriously, this blog has came a long way. From a few rants here and there to a massive storage of uber crap spat out from none other than yours truly. It's truly amazing how fast time flies. I will devote more time into developing this venue to vent out all my pent up nonsense.

Back to a more serious note, in the past few days, I have;

1. Bought a Caravan deck. It turned out it's Aviators inside, and they are air cushioned! 1 Dollar Air Cushioned deck! Whoo!
2. Had a undercharged Subway meal. Ordered Subway Melt at first, the cashier heard wrongly, it became 'Ham', so I saved $3. =)
3. Watched Rock School, and is inspired by the Tucker twins. They are officially my role models for my kids. =) I would very like to see my kids proclaiming, 'Long live Metal (or Rock)' and pointing \m/ everywhere they go. I will be so proud of them.
   
4. Watched Saw 2. It was mediocre.
   
5. Flourished.
6. Created a wicked looking ace production, it's all done by and in one hand. Total workout for the hand. It's called Sehnsucht production, due to my obsession over Rammstein.
   
7. Flourished even more.
8. Lazed around at home.
9. Read alot of various fanfictions.
10. Totally neglected my sanity.
    

I am Jack's stoning and zonked out side,
Ling.
2nd March 2006 AD

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