The best gift ever

So I forgot to tell The Internet about this when I found it, but it's too good not to share. Back before Valentine's Day, I looked around online trying to think of good "guy gift" ideas for WR, and I came across the CATGee Home-DNA Kit (to see it, scroll down to the very bottom of the menu--it should be the last item).

Here's what the description says:

CATGee Home-DNA Kit

Store it indefinitely and in complete safety.

In no time you'll be giving CATGee to your friends, your family and those you love.

Its on course to become the craze of the decade.

CATGee arrives in an elegant brushed alloy container, no bigger than a DVD case.

DNA collection kit featuring the full medical bit. Everything to collect a sample of your DNA at home, simply and painlessly - swabs, sterile pouches and a pair of sexy disposable gloves.

Easy instructions to allow your unique DNA cells to be kept forever without requiring special storage conditions.

Now, please forgive my ignorance here, but what the crap? Am I missing something?

First off, I have no idea how one is meant to pronounce "CATGee." Also, what's up with the DNA-gathering thing? Is it so you can secretly run paternity tests or something? Or do you analyze the other person's DNA to see if they're good breeding stock? Or is this some way to do the Billy Bob Thornton/Angelina Jolie thing where they wore vials of each other's blood around their necks? (And speaking of Angelina, I just got a mental picture of Billy Bob Thornton and then one of Brad Pitt and man that's an upgrade. Good choice, Ange, even though I'm totally on team Aniston when I actually allow myself to dwell on such tawdry matters. Which I don't. Ever.)

Either way, that's just strange. As is the idea of sexy disposable gloves. I mean, yeah, maybe disposable gloves are sexy if you have some weird CSI fetish--in which case this whole kit would probably be right up your sick alley. Me, now, when I think of disposable gloves I think of the food service industry, dentists, and gynecologists. And I actually find all of those things to be the exact opposite of sexy, thank you very much.

But then, you know, maybe I've got it all wrong. Because this thing is on course to become the craze of the decade. So who am I to argue with that? I mean, I could argue that it's 2006 already and that so far the decade has been DNA-testing-craze free, but you probably shouldn't listen to me, because I'm a crazy person who doesn't find disposable gloves sexy.

Posted in: England