Here's the scoop.

So I feel the time as come to dish about L****. I've been here for nearly 7 months and now I'm an expert.

But first I need to give you a bit of background so you know the kind of place I'm talking about. From my limited observations, people here are generally here either because they and all their family grew up here and they can't imagine living anywhere else, or because it drew them with its allure and they knew they'd finally found Their Place. They love it here. And power to them.

Don't get me wrong, there is a lot here to love so I completely support them in loving it. Trick is, from the moment I arrived it seemed like they all expected me to love it as much as they do. Which is difficult for me to do, because after moving around so much I tend to have a rather short-term view of things. I'm not usually deciding if this is a place I could love forever, more if it's good enough for now. And no matter what I say in praise of my new home, it kind of isn't enough to satisfy some people.

Resident who Loves L**** So Much They Want to Marry It: "So, are you from here then?"

Me: "No, I just moved here this year."

RWLLSMTWTMI: [eyes lighting up] "And do you love it???"

Me: "It's very nice."

RWLLSMTWTMI: "Hmmmm. And where did you move here from?"

Me: "I've moved around a lot the last little bit, but I was in Provo for awhile."

RWLLSMTWTMI: [with dismissive wave] "Pssshht. Provo. I bet you're so happy to be out of there. I've been there it's just better up here."

Turns out that a lot of Aggies (Utah State University mascot, something to do with farming) think there's a rivalry between them and BYU. I was stunned to learn this, as most BYU students who are not from Utah have never even heard of USU. I certainly hadn't. Our actual rival is the University of Utah with its godless coffee-drinking, BYU-statue-spray-painting ways. When Jen and the kids were up this week, we took them to USU's ice cream shop. Out of nowhere, with vanilla ice cream smeared all over her face, Savvy started yelling, "Go Cougars!" When we tried to shush her and say that up here it's "Go Aggies!" she shook her head and said, "No! GO COUGAAAARRSS!" And then little Ethan, with Aggie Blue Mint on his face, sat up and started crowing it as well.

Have I mentioned that I love them?

Anyway. Because I lived in Provo and now I live in Logan I am viewed as somewhat of a refugee who has Seen Horrible Things. And I've learned that no praise of their native land is enough to please the Valley Dwellers. The only really acceptable response is for me to throw myself on the ground, kiss the soil, and sob about how I've searched and searched my whole life but Now I've Come Home.

Posted in: Utah