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Tuesday 21 August 2007

Working for the man

My brother in law Ed just did a cool post where he listed all the jobs he's had and what he's learned from each one. Also, just reading his list made me exhausted. I liked the idea so I'm borrowing it.

So, starting at about age 10:

Babysitter. When I think back on it I can't believe that people let someone so young and inexperienced watch their kids. Also? $2 an hour is a shaft, people. My daughters are going to have cutthroat rates, including overtime and additional charges for more than 3 children.

Yard crew. Our neighborhood association hires truckloads of kids to rake all the sand and debris left over in the ditches after the snow melts. I learned that raking leads to wicked hot shoulder muscles. Course, since they were on me and my Olga-the-milkmaid shoulders, I kinda looked like a boy.

Temporary office assistant. I learned that office jobs are better, because you can order lunch from Pizza Man and eat it at your desk while you work.

Subway Sandwich Artist. Cucumbers on sandwiches are good. I also learned all the words to "Champagne Supernova" by Oasis and "You Live, You Learn" by Alanis Morissette. They were on the audio track that summer.

Restaurant Hostess and Busser. There are people who will feed their babies the dregs of their own margaritas in order to have a quiet meal. If any of you are reading this, you are nasty, nasty people and somewhere there's a brick with your name in it. If you had any sense you'd be doping them up on medicine like the responsible parents do. I also learned that older coworkers, when drunk, may suddenly start hitting on you. And I learned that people you work with (not the older drunk coworkers, because like they even got a look in) will sometimes give you mono.

Custodian. Nobody should start work at 4am. Also, men's urinals are disgusting. And boys leave newspaper all over the floor near the toilets.

Editor/Proofreader. Again, office jobs are better. And proofreaders are fun, fun people.

Course Maintenance Superviser Person Thingie. Suddenly becoming the boss of your friends can be tricky. But also rewarding, if you're sick and power-hungry like that.

Marketer Person. Sales are not fun. Traveling is fun, but not nonstop traveling. All places have merit except for Ohio. Could not find one single thing to get excited about there.

Librarian. So far I've learned that librarians are awesome. I've also learned that being a librarian means being a lot more than I thought it did. I'm also a babysitter, a tour guide, a computer support technician, an errand girl, a counselor, and a whole bunch of other things I didn't really see coming.

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