This is me whimpering at my desk

And not in the good way. In the bad, bad, I am a wide-eyed woodland creature whose fluffy bunny foot is caught in a trap and I'm being held over a shark tank way.

A lady came in to ask a question about LDS authors, so I went to Deseret Book's website to see if I could find what she was looking for.

I saw this:


The London background intrigued me, so I clicked on the link and read the following description:

Anxiously Engaged: A Piccadilly Romance

First he found a fiancée, then he fell in love.

Carson Wells is a good-natured Returned Missionary from Montana who is engaged to a trendy girl from London. But before he is allowed to take Lucy to the temple, he must first find a husband for her sensible, older sister Jema. One by one Carson's attempts to find a worthy suitor for Jema become more than he bargained for as his feelings for Lucy begin to change. Anxiously Engaged is a bright romantic comedy where two culturally different people find love in an uncommon way.

There are so, so, so very many things wrong with this that I don't even know where to begin.

First of all, since when do we capitalize returned missionary?

Also, what is even up with the movie's premise? Who exactly sets those conditions? Who is it that decided some sassy English girl needs a Montana hick to find her a man? I just read that it's her grandfather who makes that a condition. Also, is said sassy English girl actually going along with this sexist bit of awfulness? I'm sorry, but I would kick my grandpapa's false teeth right out of his head. My brain is leaking out my ears at that one.

And the name Jema? Were they possibly thinking of Gemma, which is an actual English name? (Note: Just checked on IMDB and the character's name is Gemma, not Jema. Freaking Deseret Book.)

I don't know where this thing was released in theatres, but apparently some people have seen it. The family who commented on the IMDB page have seen it four separate times. Which means they must live in a cactus or something where there's absolutely nothing else to do.

Maybe I should track down a copy and watch it this weekend with my sisters. We haven't gone into a full on harpies-from-Macbeth rant in a while now. Might be funs.

PS. There's an official website with a trailer, which I haven't watched yet. Will be getting right on that.

Posted in: Anglophilia,being a Mormon,on my crap list,reviews