Lament

Warning: You are about to read an entire post about being extremely nihilistic towards school and life. If you happen to have a low threshold level towards rants, I duly advise you to click on the cute little "Back" button and find other blogs to inludge in. Okay. I assume the readers who reached this line are willing to put themselves into my misanthropic shoes.

Caution: This is no-holds barred blogging, I don't intend to offend anyone.

Here we go.

I see the JC people around me, their seemingly so cheerful profiles of themselves on Friendster, those stack of "full of smiles" pictures of OGL whatever stuff that they have. The immense pride that they possess to the extend of putting whatever that is related to school in every crack and crevice of the profiles.

I don't get it. How on earth can you like a damned place that imprisons you for 6 to 10 hours? In addition, I said to myself, "Oh! So people who pretends to be cheerful are appreciated..." My pathos lies towards those people as well, is it all really worth it? To forgo your comfort and the luxury of being comfortably alone?

You shout your lungs flat at the OGL camp when the bloody JC1s aren't here yet. You lower yourself to the level of yelling ''almost intelligable'' cheers and you proclaim you love them. You forgo your personal interests and stick around with a bunch of people you know, at heart, are mere acquaintances.

The whole school is to cheer and clap when some sports team clinches a medal. You put the medal in that cabinet. You ignore their defects. You make a hero out of someone who's good at sweating and messing with his brawn. That certainly isn't my definition of a hero, if you ask me. A hero to me is to be able to influence people deeply. Those will just turn into dusty medals behind the glass doors.

You ostracize people who appeared to be socially inept, people who has queer interests and tastes, people who handles playing cards, people who listens to metal, people who are from other countries. The list is never ending, labelling people has been the hobby of mankind for centuries.

So, I am to assume that the general society only recognises people who do spill sweat and win medals.

What Marilyn Manson once said is true. The society can condone the misdeeds of a national-sports champion because he has got fucking medals under his belt. In what Marilyn Manson described in his example, the sports hero, let's say, murdered a goth kid. The society would even demonise the victim by commenting, "That kid should die for being such a weirdo. He deserves it."

This society is so fucked up. Period.

So long have I longed for my utopian world to manifest. I'd be sitting in a nice, bookish eating place in Berlin, with a steady flow of quality metal from my mp3 player, a good deck of cards, reading a really good book (Dune, probably) and sipping a mug of slightly scented ceylon tea. No one would be around me. Me alone in the eating place. No shits of this world. Just me, and what I like. No obligations. No commitments. No worries.

Shit, the above reminds me of a scene in 1984 where Winston at the Chestnut Cafe, playing chess, but no worries, I will not, and never will allow myself to be re-educated for the mere sake of fitting into this shit of a society.

I would be really glad if my utopia comes into reality.

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