Nail in the coffin

So remember how I went on another date with the Semi-Stalker-Who While A Nice Guy is Simply Not Turning Out to Be My Type? That is not going to be happening again, bless his heart. The final straw came during that last date.

He asked me about places I've traveled and admitted that he hadn't really been anywhere yet.

Me: "Where would you like to go?"

Him: "The Holy Land."

Me: "Yeah, that's one place I'd like to go too." (Seeking common ground, see how I'm seeking common ground?)

Him: "Or, you know, just anywhere that has a lot of Muslims."

Me: "Um . . . okay . . . the Holy Land would work, then. Or at least that's one of the predominately Muslim areas where you would be allowed to go."

Him: "I just--I think we've got it all wrong in our country and have a lot of misapprehensions. I mean, I know my views are a bit much for some people, but I think there are just as many fanatical Christians as there are fanatical Muslims."

Me: "I'm sure that could be true. I guess it's just that the fanatical Muslims tend to get more of the attention since some of them express their feelings by blowing things up."

Him: "Well . . . I think that depends on your point of view. But, you know, I don't really want to get into a political discussion."

Oh really? Don't you?

That, my friends, was it for me. It "depends on [my] point of view"? So, like, if I have a more enlightened point of view then that changes the facts? And if I weren't such a crazy anti-Muslim racist then I would recognize that there have been just as many recent bombings by fanatical Christians?

That rubbed me so, so, so very much the wrong way. Because from the way he spoke, the right (and only) way to be open-minded and to care and learn about other people is to throw yourself right in the middle of them (or at least say that's what you want to do) and then tell everyone else that their point of view is wrong and that they can't possibly care the way that you care. And this wasn't just about Muslims--it came out in other discussions as well.

And it's not that I feel the need to defend myself here, not really. I know that I try in my own (perhaps small) way to combat racism and bigotry and to learn about other cultures. But I will say this--I'm not sure how you get to be #1 Friend to Muslims when you're sitting in the middle of Utah and have no real plans to actually go out and meet any.

Posted in: dating or not so much,on my crap list