I hate everyone

My friend AuD is on a medical internship in Portland and emailed yesterday to say how things are going. Then he told me this story about an FHE activity the Young Single Adults just had. FHE stands for Family Home Evening, which is something all LDS families are encouraged to do on Monday nights to promote family time & togetherness. They make people in singles wards do it too even though we're not actual family. In the freakish wards they call the organizers of the groups to be "FHE Dads and Moms" or (my favorite) "Mas and Paas." And then they encourage us to date and make out with our dads & brothers, which makes for an odd dynamic, don't you think? That's why I prefer "FHE Group Leader," because it doesn't imply familial relations or incest. And there is no way I will stand in church and be announced as an "FHE Maaaa." I just won't. They'll change the name or I won't do it.

Anyway. His email.

I did have an experience that made me think of you and smile. For FHE we had a activity that would teach us communication. They told us to bring books that we wouldn't mind not going home with. So we get to the activity and we are told we cannot communicate in any fashion but we are to use the books to get across the gym. So people starting walking on books and tearing pages out of old dictionaries to walk on, etc. Upon seeing this I just had to smile as I pictured how you would respond as a librarian to the scene.

I can tell you right now how I would respond as a librarian to the scene:

Not. Well.

What on the earth does the destruction of books have to do with communication? And what if people were opposed to the idea of destroying books for no good reason, as I surely would have been? Next week is it going to be "bring a pet you wouldn't mind not going home with" and then you learn how they did sacrifices back in Moses' time?

Freaks. All freaks. I bet they call them "Mas" and "Pas" in that ward.

Posted in: being a Mormon,on my crap list