Must make a disclaimer right here

So my friend Streets is worried that people in Belfast will think she's a poser, on account of she's already picking up the accent without meaning to. I sure hope no one thinks that about her, because maybe in Belfast that earns you a nice brick to the head.

I will probably have the same problem, but since I will be in a nice small town, maybe I will just get sticks or cow patties or whatever thrown at me. Actually I know I will start picking up the accent, partly because it's the only time when I can almost have an English accent without people looking at me like I'm insane, but also because I won't be able to help it.

I can't spend more than 5 minutes in the South without the drawl coming out. But that's because it's in my blood. I tell you, you can't fight blood. When someone from North Carolina calls me at work, we get to talking and by the end of the conversation I sound like Daisy Duke and my coworkers start looking at each other like, "What is she smoking?"

The saddest part was picking up a Utah accent, which I totally did. I haven't made it as far down the scale of degeneracy as to use "sell" for "sale" and "pell" for "pail," but I'm getting close. For example, I can't answer a Yes/No question with a Yes or No anymore.

Q: "Hey [Nem], did you go to the party last night?" (This is a completely made-up question, because I never go to parties. They happen late at night, when I am already curled up in bed with warm milk and twelve cats.)

Normal Answer: "Yes" or possibly "Yeah" or even "Yep".

Utah Answer: head tilt, "Tsk . . . I did."

You know what I'm talking about. Instead of "Yes" or "No" it's "I did," or "I have" or "I didn't" or "I havuhn't." And always with a head tilt or bob of some kind. You watch and you'll see.

My point is, when I start using British spelling and British words and stuff, only 25% of that will be about me being a pretentious freak who secretly wants to be English. The other 75% will be completely out of my control, so please don't stop being my friends.

Cheers, wot wot!

Posted in: dating or not so much