Times like these I realize PMS is a real thing

My mother thinks I get really grouchy at certain phases of the moon. This is, of course, absurd. And if there have been times when a simple question from her (like, "So, how was your weekend?") has made me start Googling such terms as "discreet professional killer" and "make that moose attack look like an accident" then I'm sure my responses were warranted and not at all overreactions.

It is, however, kind of uncanny that my mother and sisters know exactly when I might be entering the grouchy moon phase, if in fact I do such a thing. So maybe there actually is something to that. And maybe I should consider the fact that my mom can hint that once I do get married I'd better start having babies right away to lower my children's risk of birth defects, and I can deal with that and even laugh about it. But the other night she told me that she received the "I Read Banned Books" tote bag I sent her and that she's excited to have it but is now reconsidering the whole "carry it to church" thing. I was paralyzed with rage and had to stop myself from throwing my cell phone against the wall and screaming IF YOU DON'T LIKE IT THEN JUST GIVE IT BACK, YOU BOOK BURNER!!!

Obviously, not rational. Should probably get tested for rabies or something.

Posted in: