Note to the guy in sacrament meeting yesterday

I'm sure yesterday was a very special experience for you, but it was not so much for me or likely for any one else in the congregation and I will tell you why.

You got up there, 10 minutes before the meeting was supposed to end, (along with 12 other people, mind you) and said that you wanted to bear your testimony in a language that you have not used for many years, but which is very meaningful to you because some of the most spiritual experiences of your life occurred in that language. Now, I'm not even going to touch the part where the reason that time was so special was because of what you were doing 24/7 (ie, serving a mission and testifying of Christ) rather than the language you were speaking. Because whatever.

Only then you proceeded to babble in Portuguese for the next 8 minutes. I do very much hope there was someone who speaks Portuguese in the congregation, and that maybe your words were an answer to prayer for them and encouraged them to abandon their drugging-people-and-stealing-their-kidneys plans and stay on the straight and narrow. Because for the rest of us it pretty much sounded like a dog yapping up there. For 10 minutes. It benefited no one, because none of us understood what you were saying.

And then, because YOU took so much time with the yapping, all the people behind you still wanted to speak and the meeting went 20 minutes over and did not get out until 4:50pm. On FAST Sunday. My arm had teeth marks by the end.

Thank you.

Posted in: being a Mormon,on my crap list