Letter to my neighbor

Dear Neighbor,

I am normally a dog lover. I do not, however, so much love your dog.

I do not love the way that it growls and rushes at me every single time our paths happen to cross. I do not love the way that you, sitting up on your balcony smoking (which, by the way, appears to be the only thing that you do, in life, ever) just call down, "He won't hurt you!" Cuz guess what? Being barked at and growled at and hounded by a miniature doberman is actually annoying enough without actual pain. I'm just saying.

This morning it was snowing. So I carefully made my way down my slushy apartment stairs, balancing several items in my arms, and about 5 steps from the bottom I heard the tell-tale bark and growl of your nasty little alpha rat. That animal followed me from my steps out to my car, growling all the way and darting around like it was going to go for my ankle.

You might have heard me repeating aloud the words of "I will kick you in the face, I will kick you in the face, I will kick you in the face." When I got close enough to your balcony for you, smoking in a Slanket, to notice, you just called out "He won't hurt you . . . sorry."

Here's the thing. I almost wanted your dog to nip my ankle, because then I would have had the satisfaction of lashing out with my massive, prehistoric Danskos and possibly breaking something. And I'm a dog lover!!!

Also? This is the third time your dog has harassed me. I can only assume he does this to everyone, which would include children and people who have a legitimate fear of dogs. Clearly, your animal does not belong off a leash when there are people around (or even the possibility of people, which, in a large apartment complex, is pretty much a given). And you can hold a leash and a cigarette at the same time, lady.

Will be wearing heavy shoes from now on,

Nemesis

So, friends. Here's where I need the advice. Do I just accept that I'm having a cranky day and let it go? Do I call the office and make a complaint against her and her little dog too? Do I tell her that I'll be making a complaint if her dog bothers me again? Or, you know, that I'll be kicking her dog in the face?

What to do?

Posted in: on my crap list