This reader's advisory stuff is getting easier

It's nicest when people ask for books and it turns out that we have the exact same taste. Because I can just tell them about all my favorites and they think I'm this brilliant mind-reader. And usually we become best friends and I invite them to join our book club.

Sometimes people come in who are interested in something completely cool, like the elderly gentleman who read The Kite Runner and became fascinated with Afghanistan. So it was always fun to have something waiting for when he'd come in. By the time we'd gone through everything in the collection (and some things that I ordered especially for him) he could probably have taught a university class on the subject. Those are the fun days.

The less fun days are when people come in who hate everything good (read: everything that I love). Because what can I even recommend for them? One patron returned a DVD and was really irritated because not ONLY had the characters been speaking some strange tongue but they'd written the English words on the bottom of the screen. Written! To be read! In a movie! My efforts to defend the foreign language film collection (which could not be more my baby than if I'd given actual physical birth to it) fell upon deaf and hostile ears.

I've figured out how to work with this, though. I think of the books and movies that I love and esteem and would protect with my life. Then I take their exact opposites and hand them over.

"Here's The Ultimate Gift. You'll love it."

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It is possible that I am a genius

So remember how last week we were talking about the singles scene (aka suckfest)? Well I have possibly come up with a brilliant new idea. I got an email from a lovely Stake Relief Society President who was very interested in our discussion. In her stake she works with the Young Single Adult and the Single Adult committees. They're worried because the single folk are dropping out like flies and they aren't sure how to best meet their needs and keep them involved.

So her question is this: "What would work? I'm curious what your readership would say about what activities they would be interested in. Any clues?"

I responded that this is a tricky, tricky thing. First of all, you're frequently looking at a group made up of diverse ages, interests, and life situation. It's hard to plan something that will appeal to everyone. And I think sometimes the emphasis becomes wrapped up in getting people to support the programs rather than using programs to support people. We usually measure success by numbers, so if something is well-attended then that must mean it's successful, but if it's not then it isn't. I don't know that this is necessarily true. It might be better to have 20 people who really got something out of an activity than 100 people who feel like they just wasted an evening.

Which is where I had my brain wave. I think it would be smart to look at the new Home, Family & Personal Enrichment program as a useful model for singles activities.

(For those who just went, "The what now?" this is a program within the women's organization in the church. They used to have monthly activities based on the idea of "enrichment" but a couple of years ago they revamped it. They scrapped the monthly activities in favor of quarterly activities to free up people's time, and asked the ward Relief Societies to plan activities based on shared interest and actual needs of the sister. This seems, to me, to work best when the Relief Society leadership let the sisters decide what groups they want to form. So if there are ladies who would like to have a book group? Great, do that. Dinner groups? Great. Women who want to go to the temple together or exercise together or learn how to bow-hunt together? Fabulous. Figure it out, decide who the contact person will be, and we'll announce it on Sunday.)

Why couldn't we do something like that as singles, on either a ward or stake level? That way not everyone has to go to everything, but if there are interests that several people share then they could get something together and publicize it. You'd be doing the kinds of things you would do anyway, but this way you could open it up to others who are interested. And it would be a good way to explore new interests and learn new skills.The shy folk might be more willing to come out if it's going to be a smaller, less intimidating group. You'd get to know people better in smaller groups that get together on a regular basis. It wouldn't be too difficult to manage and publicize, possibly through email lists, phone texts, or a wiki. It wouldn't require administration or funding.

So. What do you think about something like that? And/Or, to answer my friend's question, what are the sorts of activities that you would show up for?

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Triumph!

Several weeks ago I made a professional goal--namely, that I would make friends with the surly 12-yr-old who tried to call me a f****** b**** when I told him his time was up on the computer.

This is not because I have some compulsive need to have everyone like me. Because I don't. Much. But I happen to like 12-yr-old boys, and I've always had a soft spot for the punk ones. This soft spot was strongest when I was about 10-14 years of age and was always falling for the Bad Jr. High Boys. Now it is more of a benevolent, legal sort of interest. Plus I know that their lives can be pretty crappy and they need safe(ish) places where they feel welcomed. I'm absolutely fine with banning adults who make my life hard, but I don't want to do that to a kid. Kids have enough problems.

Anyway. I'd like to think I've been making progress. We haven't started having tea parties at my desk or anything, but there has been no more attitude. And yesterday when he walked by my desk he waved hello. I nodded my head and answered, "Hey."

Inside, though? Inside I was doing Snoopy dances.

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