Back in my lover's arms

I am, of course, speaking of the Costco. You know how some families are Ute fans and others "Bleed Blue" and still others refer to themselves as "Aggies" and don't realize that the rest of us have no idea who they even are? Well in my family we're Costco supporters. I tried the Sam's club thing up in L**** when my job came with a business membership, but it just was not the same. GH, of course, does not get this, and does not understand that Costco is The True Store and that Sam's Club is just Satan's Counterfeit.

Last night a lovely friend offered to meet me at Costco because she has a membership. (The reasons why I do not currently have one are varied and complex and are soon to be irrelevant because I just cannot fight the love.) I swear, the moment I walked through the heated doorway I felt like I was back home. All the memories came flooding back.

The time my Dad announced that his retirement dream was to run a forklift at Costco.

The Calvin Klein Mom Jeans I wore in high school, courtesy of Costco. Thanks for that one.

The time my parents tried to set me up with the Seafood Guy by inviting him home for Christmas Eve Dinner. They were ecstatic at the idea of 1) Marrying me off, and 2) Having a Costco seafood supplier in the family. ("What!? You say there are no guys to date! We just found you one!")

The year Amyjane and I shared a membership as Domestic Partners and I warned her that if anyone questioned me I was fully going to state that we were lesbian lovers and so she'd just better get her poker face ready.

The year Amyjane and I bought the hugest, most hideous Christmas cards known to man and then actually mailed them to people. It was because our sense of size gets thrown off in that store. Suddenly an 11"x 17" red velvet Christmas card starts looking downright dainty.

All the 6-lb brie wheels, and the tire-sized pumpkin pies, and the cheap books, and that amazing greeting card set.

My gorgeous, lovely bed with its Egyptian Cotton sheets. (Big warm male sold separately and may take longer to arrive.)

So yeah. It was a bit of a Marcel Proust moment, and before I knew it I'd been in there an hour and had dropped $150. But I got such wonderful, wonderful things, like food-supply water and toilet paper and a 4-pack of shaving jel and frozen edamame and trail mix and Lehi Roller Mills flour and goat cheese the size of a baseball bat. Did you know the Kirkland brand now makes environmentally-friendly cleaning supplies? They've classed themselves up with the environmentally friendly stuff and the natural peanut butter and the IZZE sparkling drinks and I know not what. It's like they want me to love them all over again but MORE.

(Note: I got the dish soap and the laundry detergent. The dish soap smells lovely, the laundry stuff just smells soapy. I might put in a few drops of lavender essential oil to kick it up a notch, since I have become used to thinking of laundry as "my time to huff laundry detergent for its aromatherapy benefits.")



So. Anybody else want to share their Costco love? Favorite products, happy memories, size-perception-errors-which-resulted-in-lack-of-judgement, I'll take whatever.

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