And you thought I was done talking about the plight of the Singleton

Except I'll never be done. Never.I went out to dinner awhile back with some excellent girl friends. It was great to catch up and hear how everyone's doing. Until one friend started telling her story and then our brains exploded out our ears.Here's a girl who is around my age, has a college degree, and has served a mission. She's attractive, funny, down-to-earth, is a loyal friend and proud auntie, she goes on cool adventures, and she can cook like you would not believe. So pretty much the whole package. Yes, she would rather not be single, but she's not the mopey sort and in the meantime is doing really good things with her life.Great, right? Except NOT. Her parents are so worried about her single status that they Cannot. Leave. It. Alone. And the fact that she does not appear more worried...

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And that other thing is NOT a cup-holder

So this one time at work a patron came up to me and said, "I'm trying to use one of the computers but it won't read my card." Then I went through the part where I ask the right questions and make sure they were typing in the right information, etc.Patron: "No, I didn't TYPE in anything, I just put my card in and it won't read it."Me: "Wait, you put your card in . . . where?"Then I walk over and find a library card crammed into the floppy drive. And maybe get to spend 20 minutes trying to remove it.This happens more frequently than you might imagine. Apparently the library's previous public computer system involved some sort of hardware on the computers where you inserted your library card. Which is the STUPIDEST IDEA IN THE WORLD, because it taught people to STICK NON-COMPUTER THINGS INTO...

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The weather is putting me in a coma

So seriously. Each time it starts snowing this week it's like Nature's personal way of saying, "I HATE YOU." Or maybe that's what I'm saying to Nature. Either way, there's hate involved. Also I am becoming sluggish and cannot be bothered to do anything besides glare out the window. I do notice the piles of laundry and the disgusting kitchen and the unmade bed, but all I can do is gesture at them listlessly and think, "What does it even matter? Snow is going to cover us and we will all die in our sleep."So, get excited for that.On a happier note, we just booked tickets to visit my parents in Alaska this summer. I'm very excited. We're going in June, when the weather is nicest (read: there is a 25% chance of getting some sunny days). It will be green and lovely and I'm sure my parents will...

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Let's talk about Mormon Food

Bet that perked y'all right up. I have an anonymous friend who was asked to design a ward cookbook. She can't write about this on her blog without recognition and scandal, so I offered to do it for her.I don't know when ward cookbooks started, but they are awesome. Once over at Desmama's we came across this old (1920s, Desmama? I can't remember) church magazine for young women. In addition to having really incredibly odd short stories about marital angst and possibly psychoses (for teenagers? Really) it also included recipes. The "international ones" were my favorite. Like, if you added mayonaise or cabbage to something then it automatically...

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Someone deserves a trout slappin'

So . . . remember that one time when it was sunny and delicious and springy around here? Yeah, that all went to crap. It is now snowing like nobody's business and I'm sure all the daffodils are dying. Which, Snow, I hope you're happy, since you are now pretty much the same thing as a baby killer. I'm glad I made the most of the nice weather on Saturday--we went to the park for a picnic lunch and lounged around watching people flying kites and walking dogs. It was heaven.Then on Sunday I was struck by what is possibly the largest architectural stupidity I have come across in recent days. I'm trying to think of what would be dumber, but all I'm getting is maybe multi-level hospitals (or nursing homes) without elevators.In our chapel, as in many LDS chapels, there are three sections of pews...

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Updates: Technological advancements, fiends and Nightmarred & Dreamscarred

I realised I have not spoken about my recent acquisition of an iPod Classic, replacing my 3 year old Sony Network Music Player. I am most pleased with the new purchase despite it's slightly expensive, not only does the iPod hails a behemoth storage size of 120GB, the battery life is immensely good. I have only charged it once and it is still running in the "green" area after a week's worth of regular usage. This made my Sony Network player look like a contemporary torture device in cruel disguise, complete with rapidly deteriorating battery lifespan, user-unfriendly music transfer programme, an ugly B&W interface, and most of all, a miniscule space of 6GB. Now, I can comfortably throw in my entire music library which now amasses to nearly 11GB, movies and card flourishing videos and magic...

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And get off my porch while you're at it

About 18 months ago I got knitting again, which you might remember from the time I posted the angora baby booties that are as precious as baby birds and cute enough to eat. (Desmama's words, not mine. I never compliment myself.)I revisited the knitting for several reasons:1. I decided that it might be nice to see what my fingers looked like with fingernails attached to them.2. Pictures of knitted baby clothing and accessories are the devil and will suck you in and take away your power to resist and you will just have to make them whether or not you even know any babies.3. There were still people out there who did not mistake me for a crotchety...

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Sunday highlight (like, very high) and lowlight

On Sunday it was our stake conference, which is when several adjoining congregations (wards) meet together and listen to talks and counsel meant specifically for our area or "stake." It was a very good meeting, and the night before there was an adult session, also good, with an emphasis on missionary work (like, the kind that we civilians are supposed to be doing) which only made me feel slightly wrenched with guilt as opposed to greatly.The highlight, aside from the v.g. talks that made me feel re-motivated to make more time for things of the soul, was when an insanely tall gentleman passed in front of us. I elbowed GH and nodded over in the guy's direction so he would notice the way his head was practically hitting the lights. Which was when I heard the man next to me whisper to his wife...

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So help me, I had better not die in the next 8 weeks because it's just about to get good

It is official.Today they are aerating the lawns of the apartment complex. This to me is a happy thing because it means spring is coming. The downside is that I now have to watch my step even more carefully because it will be hard to distinguish between the soil pellets and the dog poop, of which there is a healthy amount in this rather dog-friendly complex of ours. Just so you get where I'm coming from on this, we have St. Bernards living here. You think about that.And then on the way home from grocery shopping I swear I saw daffodils in someone's yard. I couldn't pull over to inspect because it would have caused a traffic accident, which to...

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Short but definitely sweet

Today saw the public performance of a local gothic/extreme metal band by the name of Meza Virs at a very mainstream mall of Hereen. Thrilled, indubitably, by the fact that my favourite music genre will be publicly showcased, I ensured my attendance was made mandatory.It was just very heartwarming once again to hear metal music being played with such indigantly loud and pride-laded volume at such a public place. The last time I had this experience was at the Rudra's Esplanade showcase in 2006, which was another very fulfilling performance, needless to say. To see the metal-listeners standing around, their souls proud of their musical inklings...

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The well, she is dry

Nothing to report today, other than that I may have just contracted RSV from a baby in the library. I hope I pull through.Introduced GH yesterday to the delight that is Cold Comfort Farm. Even though he could only catch about half of the mumbled country English dialog, I think he still got quite a lot out of it. And really, many of life's important lessons can be found in this film, I think.For example: The wages of sin is Death.Highly sexed young men living on farms are always called Seth or Reuben.Nature's all very well in her place, but she musn't be allowed to make things untidy.When poetry is combined with ill-groomed hair and eccentric...

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I should start a list

Because being childless makes me such a parenting expert, I think a good activity would be to start making a list of all the "When I have kids, I will never . . . " rules. That way I can remember them. And then, when I inevitably break every last one, I can cross them off the list one (or two or three) at a time. You know, things like:I will never yell at my kids in a storeI will never forget that one of my kids is still sitting in the carI will never use the TV as a babysitterI will never let my kid wear his underwear on the outside of his pants to churchHere's one, though, that I hope will actually STAY uncrossed on the list:I will never bring...

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Bring on the disaster! Except, you know, DON'T.

Turns out I am married to a superstitious man. He won't say that's what he is, but it's true. If we're in the car driving to Vegas and I say, "Hey, we're making really good time!" he comes unhinged. "I can't believe you just SAID that! Now you've jinxed it! We're going to GET INTO A WRECK AND DIE!!!!" And he really, truly does believe that there's some power in the Universe that is right there ready to smack down the foolish ones for their hubris. The only real response to this must be said with Eyebrows. And eye rolls. And snorts. And then I tell him he should maybe be more worried about the false gods he's all worshippin' on.But it's because of him that I can't just type "Bring on the disaster!" I'm becoming all knock-on-woodish--not for myself, because I think it's all a load of hooey,...

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Paradise Regained; and Watchmen

So, my month long of internship is finally over and now I will no longer need to conjure very unsustainable thoughts at work to divert my attention away from the unceasing depressing sight of old fogey patients. And, most of all, at least I can stop obligating people to sign forms for me. Haha.Anyway! To mark the regain of Paradise, I went to watch Watchmen with fellow card wielders, Leon and Kenneth and his friend with a very interesting name called Stick. Having sailed through the actual graphic novel prior to the movie viewing, I have to say I enjoyed myself more from reading the novel than the film. The characters exhibited themselves more effectively and intensly in the novel than the film, I guess, with such a morose and brooding air around this graphic novel/story, words on a page...

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And that's why I was late to work this morning

The back blinker went out on GH's car a couple of weeks ago. I will not tell you how long it took us to realize this. This morning GH went to the store on his way home from work, bought a new light, and installed it in the car BY HIMSELF.I knew he was doing this because I was awakened as he burst through the bedroom door demanding to know where the tools were.I told him they were in the same place they always are (under the couch). Then I heard yelling because they were apparently pushed so far back under the couch that he did something to his back while reaching for them. I chose to stay in bed for all of this. After he went back outside I got up and got ready.He returned victorious, having repaired the blinker. In the cold. In the snow. By himself. Like a handy, handy man of handiness....

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Tip for the dear dads out there

When you bring your precocious 11-year old to the library because he needs to read a science-fiction book for school, it's not actually a great idea to just wave him in the direction of the adult science fiction section with a chuckle and a shrug of your head. I know it's great that he's reading at such a high level, but what you may not realize is that some of these books are written for adults because there are adult things in them. Things like swearing, violence, and alien sex. That's kind of why we created the kid and young adult area, which we then populated with science fiction books absent of alien sex. We are thinkers in that way. So when the librarian is trying to steer your child to more age-appropriate-but-still-exciting materials, please just sit back and let her do her thing...

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Catch and Release

Our Relief Society presidency was released on Sunday and a new one was called. For the uninitiated, the Relief Society is the women's organization within the LDS church. Its mission involves bringing women and families to Christ, delivering casseroles during time of crisis, teaching you to pack shotguns in your food storage, and trying to convince you to stop beating yourselves up and comparing yourselves to everyone else around you--just before they start the Good News Minute where you get to listen to everyone brag about their marriage and procreation accomplishments, or those of their children. But anyway. A president is called every few years, and on Sunday we got a new one.Without knowing it, during one of the classes I was actually sitting next to the woman who was soon to be announced...

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. . . Except this time I'd make-over my SOUL

I never considered myself to be someone who gets bogged down in the comparisons trap. I don't usually compare myself with my friends, or with women I meet at work, or church, or wherever. But recently I noticed that I was doing something different--I was comparing myself to other bloggers.Part of the problem with blogging (as AmyJane relayed to me after reading an article on the subject) is that we get regular, sometimes voyeuristic, looks into people's lives and start feeling that we perhaps know them quite well. Whereas in real life we tend to gravitate towards people who are similar to us in attitudes, interests, religion, politics, income, whatever, many of the people we "meet" through blogging would not necessarily be in our peer group if we knew each other in real life. We would not...

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