So THIS is where you've all been hanging out

Today I got to experience the mind-numbing pile of suckage that is Changing Your Name and Completely Undermining Your Hard-Earned Identity Just to Appease The Patriarchy. Even if I'd been waiting my whole life to change my name (like, say, if my last name were Balls (true story)), I would have maybe reconsidered if I'd known about what awaited at the Social Security Administration office. And the Division of Motor Vehicles. And the Driver's Licensing office, which is where the DMW people sent me after laughing and spitting in my face for turning up at the wrong place.

I would have stuck with Balls.

As it is, the hard part is over. But as I sat in line for a grand total of 3 hours with no book or reading material, I had an interesting time people-watching. Turns out that I don't meet everyone. I generally meet the people who

a) go to church
b) go to the library
c) shop in the same places I shop--like farmers markets and Aga showrooms (speaking of, you HAVE to watch some of Catherine Tate's Aga Saga Woman sketches)

So there are entire groups of people I don't usually come across, until they come out in droves for things like county fairs and suddenly it's like, "Wait, there are people in Utah with tattoos? And who are from other countries? Huh."

Except it turns out that pretty much everyone has to go to the DMV. So that's where you see what an actual cross-segment of the population looks like. I learned that there are a lot of people out there who want us to see their nekkid bellies. Especially if their bellies are really, really fat. That's what I'm taking away from the experience.

But it's done now, I have a new driver's license with an awful shiny-foreheaded photo attached, and I'm now Mrs. [Friend] to the guvment. Have decided though that GF gets to have his name changed too, because I shouldn't get all the fun. Considering sticking with Rocky Racoon (and believe me, that was a loong .000003 seconds) and also considered Danalee's suggestion of Gentleman LOVAH, which was very good. Finally decided to just be scarily creative and go with Gentleman Husband (GH for short).

I know. With an imagination this good I'll be writing sparkly vampire sex stories and making millions by the year's end.

Posted in: