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Friday, 18 January 2008

Natural selection existed for a REASON

Namely, to kill off the weak and/or stupid. Now, I'm glad we've made strides in keeping around the weak. As a 4-week early baby, my chances probably would not have been so good without a few medical advances. Of course, that's also when people thought using salad tongs to deliver babies was a rill good idea. Every time my sunglasses pinch too tightly above my ears it drives me crazy, and is probably my body's way of remembering the trauma of forceps.

The stupid, though? I think the stupid might benefit from a little Darwin-style wake-up call. Like the people who run around wearing flip-flops, in January, in the snow, when it's 4 degrees outside. What is that even about? Has their mind just decided to ignore what few survival mechanisms their body still has? It's called Respecting the Elements, people.

Now, I realize that the rules of seasonal fashion are in a state of flux. I'm hearing that the "no white after Labor Day" rule has now been relaxed. White is okay now, apparently, so long as it's paired with other seasonally appropriate items, like close-toed shoes or boots, heavier tops and jackets, and other things which indicate that the wearer does realize that it's December and not June. The rule does not mean that you're meant to dress like you're on your way to a luau.

When I see girls shuffling through snowdrifts on their way to church, squealing when snow gets inside their espadrilles and when the snowy wind blows their short linen skirts all around their goosebumped legs, I never feel bad for them. Wanna know why? Because those girls are making poor, poor choices.

I'm not even trying to be a style snob here. I am being a common sense snob. I mean, it's really nice that we spend so much time in these temperature-controlled environments, but I think people forget the part where the climate/weather is this real thing, and it's tougher than we are. Cars break down. Heaters act up. Stuff happens. And then there you are, standing there in your hemp shoes in a blizzard, looking stupid and getting frostbite.

So please. Let's all remember: to every thing there is a season. And right now, that season is winter and adequate clothing. Your hemp shoes and sheer tops will be there waiting for you in May. And I won't be rolling my eyes at you then, either.


In the wild, there is no health care. In the wild, health care is, "Ow, I hurt my leg. I can't run. A lion eats me. I'm dead." Well, I'm not dead. I'm the lion. You're dead.

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