Riiiiiiight

In our Sunday School class yesterday we discussed Matthew 18:1-4:

1 At the same time came the disciples unto Jesus, saying, Who is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven?
2 And Jesus called a little child unto him, and set him in the midst of them,
3 And said, Verily I say unto you, Except ye be converted, and become as little children, ye shall not enter into the kingdom of heaven.
4 Whosoever therefore shall humble himself as this little child, the same is greatest in the kingdom of heaven.
(KJV)

Before we read the passage, the guy who was teaching asked us to list characteristics or qualities of children, which he then wrote on the board. So people started saying things like "Humble," "Loving," "Innocent," "Trusting," "Great Budgeters," "Can Fly," etc.

Finally I raised my hand and asked, "You're looking for good qualities, right?"

Because seriously. Do these people even know any kids? It seems like every time we cover the "become as a little child" concept people sort of lose all touch with reality and start listing every desirable character trait they can think of, even if those traits are developmentally impossible for children to possess.

And really, I know kids are darling. I am moved to weepy tears and ovary spasms sometimes at how sweet and precious and loving Savvy and Ethan can be. But then there are those other moments when they do things like knock each other over and throw tantrums and spit in their mother's face on purpose.

So it's kind of funny to sit in these classes and hear people spouting on, all tearful, about how selfless children are. Because hi, kids are the most selfish beings on the planet. I'm not knocking them when I say that, I'm just saying that developmentally that's where children are--everything is all about them. And maybe we have so many rosy-colored illusions because most of us are childless and didn't just spend all morning chasing after shrieking naked peanut-butter-smeared monkey children who drove us to the brink of insanity while we contemplated just locking them in the cellar and going to church our own dang selves so we might actually get something out of it this week.

Posted in: being a Mormon,the Preciouses