I am one who bikes

I bought a bike over the weekend. I just wanted something for going around town because it seems silly for me to be using gas to traverse the whole 3 miles to work. Especially since they've set up booths at the gas stations where you can drop off your first-born in exchange for filling up your tank.

I was nearly seduced by the beautiful cruisers in the stores now and was especially tempted when Cicada bought her Guido. I had visions of me riding around like an Amsterdam resident among the canals with fresh flowers and maybe a baguette or crack pipe in the bike's basket.

And why does bike-shopping have to be such a complicated thing nowadays, anyway? When you're 10 it's not that hard. You go down to K-Mart and you get a bike that is the color you like. And then that is your bike. The End. Now it's all mountain bikes and road bikes and cruisers and cross bikes and all this mess that I just can't keep track of. It's like buying a car or picking a health-care plan.

In the end I found a Specialized Expedition at Al's Sporting Goods here in Logan. Turns out Al's was founded 85 years ago by a guy named Alvin Moroni Larsen. (Could he be more LDS?) Their staff are very good and they're running a promotion where I got $50 in store credit to buy a lock, pump, helmet, etc. Spitfire went with me because she knows more about bikes than I do. My bike is made for lazy people who don't want to hunch over, don't want sore buttocks, and have no intention of riding anywhere to do with heights or cliffs. (Me . . . me . . . me . . . )

The tires are a little bit tougher, though, so I can still take it on the River Trail, whatever that is. (Note: Oh. I guess this is what it is.)

I bought a helmet because I am One Who Approves of Helmets. Only when it actually came down to trying them on in the store I realized something else: Helmets are lame. They look stupid and they ruin your hair. And I don't think I want to be turning up to work in the mornings with ruined hair. Not sure what I'll do about that. At least mine is moderately cute as far as helmets go. It's a kid's helmet (it does fit, though) and is light blue with pretty yellow flowers and butterflies painted on. Also I got a bell. The bell put my B-in-L over the edge, but I maintain that it's a safety measure.

Just to bother him, I might get a basket for the front and hot-glue pink plastic daisies to it. And maybe get some pink & white streamers for the handlebars.

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