So maybe it won't be an actual bomb

Do they make chocolate bombs? Because I could do that. Whoppers/Maltesers are in the shape of a cannonball, so maybe I'll just eat lots of them.

I am still feeling a bit freaked out about the library job situation. What it's coming down to now is that I should have gotten some work experience and didn't, because I didn't know that I was going to be a librarian. I thought I was going to be an editor and possibly the ruler of a small right-thinking country. And now that I need the work experience, there's actually no time to get it, since I will graduate (if I can actually do this whole dissertation-thingy) in about 4 months. People are giving me good advice, and I'm going to see if there is any volunteer work or maybe a student library job that I can do this summer while I work on my dissertation, but other than that there's not much I can do at this point. I can also try to decide if my chances of getting a library job are better in the UK or in the States and then take it from there.

While I was pondering all of this, I got some news from my best friend Amyjane which served as an immediate perspective-realigner. Her husband Sean, who is also a dear friend even if he can rile me up like no other person on the planet (and even gets the better of me sometimes, dangit) has been diagnosed with cancer. They were just about to leave BYU for him to accept this great job, and she was about to quit her job and be a stay-at-home mom to their baby. So now all of that is completely derailed.

Amy and I lived together for 4 years, which is kind of amazing in Provo, where you can potentially cycle through 20 roommates in a calendar year. We had a Costco membership together and the next step would have been to adopt a baby from China, but then Sean came along. One thing she and I used to talk about late in bed on Sunday nights (separate beds, people) when we were sick of being Singletons was the idea--or, you know, desperate hope--that getting married would somehow mean that the future wouldn't be quite as nebulous and we wouldn't have to live these strange nomadic existences where life keeps throwing curveballs and we don't know where we'll be from one year to the next.

Only, as it turns out, I don't think we ever really reach that point, single or married. And so I can just buck up and stop being a big whiner, because I have so many blessings. I made the choice to quit my job and come out here, and I will never regret it. And I'll go on continuing to make choices and when my best-laid plans go awry I will do the best I can to make new choices.

(Please remind me in about 5 months when I'm lying in the gutter somewhere that I did say this.)

Amy & Sean are both being very positive and sensible and brave and funny about their new situation, but they will need lots and lots of faith and prayers. So, you know, if any of you have any of those things and can spare some, please do. Or even if you just have some good vibes or well-wishes and want to offer them, I'm sure that will help too.

Posted in: England