I think most Scottish cuisine is based on a dare

So I ate a traditional Scottish meal on Friday, complete with haggis, neeps, and tatties. Also, I had no idea that what the British call a "swede" is the same thing as an American rutabaga. Not that I eat rutabagas, but I know my grandmother does at one of those cafeteria-type places that elderly Southerners are so fond of. Also it turns out that when UK people talk about coriander, they actually mean cilantro. Who even knew?

Landlady J made the meal with the haggis she bought during her recent trip to Scotland and invited me to have some. I figured this was probably one of those essential cultural experiences, so I gave it a go and was pleasantly surprised. Of course, when she was taking it out of the plastic "sheepskin" bag it looked like a big fat turd on a plate, but that's what no-bake cookies look like too, and I love me some no-bakes.

The haggis smelled surprisingly great while cooking, also I was quite hungry. And Landlady J was smart enough to make an entire shedload of vegetables just in case the haggis turned out to be rubbish--she swore it had a "tinned smell" when she took it out. I don't know what a tinned smell smells like, but she's the haggis cook and I'm not.

So anyway, yes. The haggis was pretty good. And I wasn't too grossed out by what was in it, because really, any time we eat preformed chicken nuggets or cheap hamburger patties (or, ahem, Asda sausage rolls) we're probably getting much, much, worse. Turns out you might as well eat the bottom of your shoe after smearing it with animal guts. Of course, I just ate sheep lungs, so what do I know? I'll just go from the words of Jamie Oliver here, edited for the young and pure:

Those ******* horrible burgers, reconstituted, mechanically reclaimed sacks of old **** pressed into shapes of drumsticks and fish. I wouldn't ******* feed that to my dog! I mean, I would feed it to my dog, but I wouldn't feed it to my mate, my children.

I would have expected that from Gordon Ramsey, but I didn't know cute li'l Jamie had such a mouth on him. Well said, though, Jamie. Well said.

The haggis was not like that. The haggis & vegetables were nice and quite filling and then we had a good light puddingy thing afterwords and I staggered upstairs to sleep it off and to go dream about Mel Gibson in Braveheart.

Posted in: England