Someone should just buy me a shirt with a big ol' Target on it

I learned some really good stuff today from a patron. I learned all about how the Pope of the Catholic Church is inherently evil, and how all of his ceremonial clothing represents evil things. Which, wow. I was not asking for any of this information, mind you. The patron in question had to do an assignment on the Pope but was also finding other, much more interesting information as part his research.

I made vague, noncommittal noises while working very very quickly to find him what he wanted. He paused and said, "Wait. Are you LDS?"

This is where I really should have said, "No, I'm Catholic," with an Eyebrow added for good measure. I didn't, though, which was my mistake.

Him: "Oh, okay. I just, I wouldn't want to offend you or anything."

Me: "Hey, you still might!"

Because really, being LDS doesn't make me anti-Catholic, or make me want to hear mean stuff about the Pope, like how he's one of the horsemen of the apocalypse, but the patron seemed determined to show me what he was learning (I'm guessing from websites like www.ThePopeIsEvilJust LookAtHisHat.com). He said it came from early LDS Church leaders, which, whatever. I doubt that. And yes, it's true that some past LDS scholars have made negative speculations about the Catholic Church, but then they apologized and said they'd misinterpreted the scriptures and that they take it back.

Because come on! Look at this guy! A horseman of the apocalypse?


It got even better when he started telling me about how I need to look at the back of the Greek 2-Euro coin, and that it's going to jolt me right out of my chair because it's prophecy fulfilled. Which, hey, I'd love to look at the back of a 2-Euro coin from Greece. I'd prefer to look at lots of 2-Euro coins while lounging on a Greek beach while a wet shirtless Greek youth feeds me gyros with one hand and lathers my body in sexy sparkly SPF 75 sunblock with the other one. (Hey, Coppertone! Wanna get on a prototype for that?) Or maybe there should be two youths--one for food and one for sunblock. And maybe a third to whisper sweet Greek nothings to me. But since I can't have everything, I looked it up online.


I'll give you a moment to reach for your smelling salts. Go ahead.

Now, as far as I know this is Europa being carried off by Zeus in the form of a bull, nasty shape-shifting rapist that he was. From the Wikipedia entry, it looks like this symbol was included on some early Greek coinage as well. So . . . not exactly sure which prophecy this is meant to fulfill. Unless I missed the part in the Book of Mormon with the shapeshifting rapist bull which ushers in the Second Coming of Christ. It's likely, I guess. I mean, I did take early-morning seminary, so maybe I was too sleepy and frostbitten to notice that part.

Posted in: being a Mormon,library gossip