Your mom's a crack smoker

This is going to be jumbled. And it will bring up way more questions that it will answer, because it probably won't answer any of them. But I'm curious and wanting to chat about this. And I'd like to hear what you think.

1. Lately the Utah Drug Force and other agencies have been getting the word out that the most typical meth users in the state are woman in their 20s and 30s who are also mothers.

2. My friend works at a pharmacy where a pregnant woman was recently arrested for forging a prescription for Loritab (she had a prescription, but changed the amount so she could get more pills). She tried to fill it while her husband and children waited in the parking lot on their way to church.

3. There have been studies and articles which indicate that Utah leads the way in anti-depressant use, with explanations ranging from things like "Mormon Women are more depressed because their religion and their culture expect them to be perfect" to "In Utah when women are depressed they go see their doctor and get a prescription rather than self-medicating through alcohol or other drugs."

Now for my rambling thoughts and questions.

1. The meth thing. What the heck? The word on the street (not from official sources) is that some of these Utah mommies get hooked on meth because that's how they try to do everything and keep going and not need to rest so that they can be the Best Mormon Mommies Ever. I don't know if that's true, though. I think it's easy for us to cast around for a reason and then come up with something which seems tidy. It then gets repeated as fact, whether or not it's actually supported by real evidence.

2. The prescription drug thing. My friend has some stories. They have to be constantly, constantly on the look-out for people trying to get drugs they shouldn't have. The one about the pregnant lady really took the cake, though, because this woman point-blank lied to the pharmacists and to the police who were called in. If this is her first offense, she could have just confessed and said, "Yes, I'm in a ton of pain and feeling desperate and not thinking straight." And it wasn't even for that many extra pills! Lying to everyone pretty much ensures that she could go to jail, and then there's her husband with little kids and a baby who possibly had no clue any of this was going on and he's just tootling off to church, all la-la-laa.

3. The depression thing. I'm torn on this. You get the people who point to the LDS Church (or just generally Utah LDS culture) as the root of all depression and evil, and you get the articles like this one from the BYU Family Studies Center which refute the statistics pointing to Utah as the #1 anti-depressant state, or this wiki article which argues that even if Utah does use a seemingly high number of anti-depressants then it's not a logical step to say that religion causes depression.

Here's what I think, and this is just my own uneducated opinion. I fall somewhere in between the two camps.

I think they have a point when they talk about LDS women not trying to self-medicate through alcohol (because that usually doesn't present itself as an option in a teetotaling society). I know someone who just went in to talk to her doctor about depression and he asked her if she has a history of depression or alcoholism in her family. Turns out, she does--of both. The doctor said he asked because it's only in the last couple of generations that depression is really being diagnosed and treated. So a history of alcoholism might be a good indicator that depression does run in your family.

I don't think that living the lifestyle of a Latter-day Saint necessarily makes one prone to depression. I think that, for me, my religion has given me a greater sense of purpose and peace about my life. My relationship with a Savior and a Heavenly Father, as well as a strong support group or "church family," helps me through difficult times.

But I know that this isn't necessarily the case for everyone. I know first-hand that some elements of the LDS culture (at least as it exists here in Utah) contributes to competitiveness and a need to excel at everything. In October's General Conference there were two talks (one by Julie Beck and another by Dallin Oaks) which dealt with calming the heck down and not over committing yourself and your families, and being willing to let things go if they're not the most important things. They wouldn't be mentioning it if it wasn't a thing.

And then, this is the part that I don't like to say but which I really feel is true. First off, let me say that I fully appreciate that there may (and most likely will) come a time in my life when I will be hit by real, live depression. It runs in my family, and I've already had times when I've felt myself sinking into a Not Good Place. I'm very fortunate that I've been able to come out of those "low moods" but I know that's no indication that I will always be able to do that on my own. And if I find myself in one of those times, when family support and prayer and doing the things I know how to do are just not cutting it, I am going to run to a doctor or therapist or both and ask for help.

But I know that some of the very dear women I go to church with do not feel the same way. I've been in Relief Society lessons and heard women say how grateful they are that because we have a Savior there is no reason why we should ever be depressed, ever. Which, I'm sorry, but no. So then I had to raise my hand and say that yes, it's also wonderful that we have a loving Heavenly Father who has provided us with the knowledge to develop technology and medicine so that we can get medical help when we really need it.

So yes. I am sure that there are many LDS women out there who have supportive families and wise bishops and wonderful care providers and who understand that you can't just "get over" chronic, clinical depression. But I am also just as sure that there are LDS women (and just women in general) who will never talk to their doctor about how horrible they feel and who will never get needed counseling because they (or their families) will see it as unnecessary, a sign of failure, or indicating a lack of faith on their part.

Posted in: being a Mormon,Utah