Great new Christmas Tradition

So I have to say, my favorite part of Christmas was the girls-only sleepover. We kicked out all the boys, put on our coordinating red underwear and pajamas, and had ourselves a great time. There was lots of giggling and lolling about and teasing and snapping of the waistbands of other people's underwear. Also a pillow fight. We invited some of our girlfriends to come on over, one of whom snuck in a can of whipping cream by holding it in her cleavage. Oh, the mess and squeals we made during the whipped cream fight!

Oh. Wait, sorry. That wasn't us. That was the girls from the Victoria Secret commercial that's on the air now and which is driving me slowly out . . . of . . . my . . . mind.

If there are any guys out there who think this is what we do at our sleepovers, you can stop thinking that. At our sleepovers we eat lots and lots of food and watch Sumptuous Literary Adaptations and the only sexy thing in the room is Mr Darcy. Or Mr Thornton. Or Captain Wentworth. Or, you know, any of those guys. We are not the sexy ones, I can promise you that. We don't wear pushup bras and we don't lie around staring at our cleavage and twirling our hair. We don't make out with our girlfriends or sisters and hope that you'll stop by and join in. And buying us Victoria Secret underwear and pajamas is not going to make us more likely to do any of these things.

I'm sorry, but I figured you deserve the truth.

Posted in: on my crap list,Sumptuous Literary Adaptations