The Mormon Wedding Post

I said it was coming! As one who has attended many, many weddings, I would like to offer some advice on how to make your wedding a classy affair that will be remembered fondly, reverently even, by all whose lives it touched. (Note: if you feel that I may be disparaging something you did at your wedding, I'm not. I'm thinking of somebody else's wedding, and you don't even know that person.)

Here we go.

First of all, you must have a reception. Do not even consider doing otherwise. Some may try to tell you that they didn't have one and that it cut out a lot of stress and money and planning and everyone enjoyed the day a lot better and maybe they were able to throw a very nice dinner or luncheon for their family and closest friends instead of serving Sprite and mixed nuts to a blur of 500 people, blah blah blah. Don't listen to them. They are the same kind of people who don't show off their rings in their engagement photos. Clearly they cannot be trusted. Plus, everyone knows you only get presents if you throw a reception.

Anxious about your wedding budget? Remember the key equation here: Family + friends + friends of friends = free labor. You CAN have it all and make your $5K budget produce the $20K look that your richie friends have. All it will take is a bit of elbow grease from other people who are not you. And hey, if you need pictures of your mom you can always send the photographer(s) out to the kitchen or loading dock. Snag guests to help clean up afterward into the wee hours. They won't mind, you did just feed them cake.

Another tip: Call up people you know who work in the wedding biz (like florists, caterers, photographers, graphic designers) and give them the opportunity to perform their services for you for FREE. This way, you are giving them the chance to perform service, which is a service on your part. Don't cheapen it (and deny them blessings) by mentioning money. If they do agree to be blessed, make sure you let them know afterward if they don't meet your expectations. You're just trying to help them be better.

Engagement photos: Show that ring, ladies. If you'll be paying it off for the next 6 years then everyone had dang well better get a look! Also? Piggybacks. I think an engagement photo looks nothing without one party straddling the other. And really, isn't that what an engagement is all about?

If you do not put your registry information in the announcement itself, you will not get any presents. Also you know it's correct etiquette because that's where the people at Wal-Mart told you it goes.

Best wedding slideshow video song choice ever: Wonderland by John Mayer. Cannot go wrong. Also, put as many sleeveless photos of yourself in there as you possibly can, so those tops have one last shot at glory before you give them to your little sister.

Bridesmaids: you must have them. No one is going to take on the huge responsibility of watching the sign-in table unless they get to be a bridesmaid. Also be sure to pick outfits that they will never, ever wear again, because you want your friends to remember YOUR DAY ONLY when they see them hanging in the closet. Or when they take them to their therapists' office.

And speaking of, you know how the one tragedy about getting married in the temple is that you're not supposed to wear the sleeveless/strapless wedding dress you've been slavering over in bridal magazines ever since you were 9 years old? Yeah well, the next best thing = mandated strapless dresses for your LDS bridesmaids! They will thank you because secretly they are tired of sleeves also. And remember, you can't show your shoulders but you can show your boobs! Wedding day cleavage is awesome, and the tuck-and-pin is your friend here, ladies. Just blank out whatever they tell you in the temple and you'll be good.

If you are going to do something unique and different (shoes, dress, accessories, decorations), make sure it's the unique thing that everyone else is doing that year. It's safest that way, and you still get points for individuality.

To keep your breath fresh for all the hugging and greetings, have gum in your mouth all day long, including during the ceremony. Hey, you're just being considerate.

After the temple ceremony, hold a ring ceremony. The secret good thing about this is that you can say it's for the family members who didn't get to go inside the temple, but really it's your chance to hold the barefoot-on-the-beach-at-sunset-with-tiki-torches-lining-the aisle wedding you've always really wanted. (Aaaaaand Win-WIN.)

So that you can get the honeymoon started ASAP (like if there was no time in the car on the way over), book your reception for early in the evening--say 5 or 6pm. Don't serve dinner, though, because dinner is pricey. People who show up at 5pm expecting something substantial are just Out to Bleed You Dry and probably shouldn't have been invited in the first place. Also be sure the caterers won't charge you for additional slices in case those piggies go back for more.

The receiving line is pretty much the best thing ever, and the way you know you are popular and loved is if the line stretches outside the building for hours. Best of all is if some guests never even make it inside. To facilitate this, cram your side of the line with absolutely everyone you can think of--parents, brothers, sisters, family pets, you name it. Everyone loves a good line. They'll get to meet loads of people and have great conversations with all of them!

If your beloved brother or sister is on a mission or at a home for unwed mothers or is maybe just going through a gawky phase, cardboard cutouts with their faces superimposed are awesome stand-ins. The life-sized George W. Bush cutouts work well not only because he is already in a suit but also because his image will bring a special spirit. You can even put the cutouts in the receiving line when you need to spell some whiner who passes out after 3 hours. Or just keep them there from the get-go.

You must have a garter toss. Must, must, must. Extra points if the groom goes for it with his teeth. Always classy, never @$$y. ALSO you must demand that all the single women get up to fight over your bouquet. Make sure to maybe point at a few of the women who especially could use it, like the over-30s or recently divorced, because that will make them feel special.

Have a chocolate fountain. Not only will the children in the crowd use the chocolate for artistic purposes, mostly for improving their own clothing and the clothing of those around them, but it's almost mesmerizing to watch the cascading streaks of oil they use to keep the chocolate smooth. Shiny . . .

Best timesaver ever: Leave generic thank-you notes for people to pick up on the way out. With thank-yous out of the way, that's hours you can dedicate to canoodling and watching your wedding video again some more.

What have I forgotten?

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Why I Love the Dollar Store

When I asked for input on the kinds of things y'all would like to read about, Liz Johnson referenced an earlier love-professing post when she asked,

How about why you love the Dollar Store? I have a theory.

I'm wondering if her theory has anything to do with the $1 pregnancy tests they carry there. But no, I have not had that pleasure.

Here are some reasons why everyone needs to make the dollar store their BFF:

Cleaning products. They've got loads. Ever since Daltongirl made me a slew of homemade cleaning products for my wedding shower I've been mostly doing the homemade thing, which is awesome. But it's nice to be able to get eco-friendlyish name-brand toilet bowl cleaner for $1. Now, the dollar store will really be my new boyfriend when they start carrying Method's Li'l Bowl Blu, which smells nice enough to make you want to put your face in the toilet. Or Seventh Generation's Blue Eucalyptus & Lavender laundry detergent, which I breathe in deeply and blissfully every Monday when I do laundry. Seriously, the next time you're in the store and someone is stressing you out, just head over to the laundry aisle, grab one of these puppies, unscrew the top and take a deep breath. You will feel better.

Toiletries like soap, shampoo, toothbrushes, dental floss, and cotton balls (but not toothpaste, apparently). Everyone has to buy this stuff, so you might as well pay a lot less. It can even price out cheaper than the Costco & Sam's club versions, which is nice when you don't actually need 18,000 cotton balls because your days of stuffing your bra are, for the most part, over.

Picture frames. I bought piles of them to do an arrangement over the couch. The arrangement has not yet happened but the frames were a steal. They even had dead-sexy red ones.

Snacks. The snacks are dead cheap, so it's a great place to stock up on the way to a movie. If you forget your big purse, stuff the items in your coat and pretend that you're pregnant. It might even get you a better seat at the theater. (Only, I doubt it. You'd have to leave Utah to get preferential treatment for being great with child, since you can't toss a brick around here without hitting a pregnant woman. See also: $1 pregnancy tests.)

Spices. The range is limited, but you can get the basics covered at a fraction of the cost. And while we're talking kitchen, look at the kitchen items like can openers and steamers and plastic containers. It's all the same stuff that they carry at Target and BB&B. You just get to feel smarter than all the chumps currently plonking down a lot more money than you just did. In fact, sometimes I like to trot over to BB&B afterwards (it's in the same parking lot), peruse their kitchen gadget aisle, and then do the Suckaaaaaahs Dance right there in the store.

Gift wrap and gift bags.

School supplies, coloring books, and small toys.

My latest greatest find, though, is a thing of joy and fabulousness. I have shunned plastic bags for shopping and just keep my car stocked with every canvas tote bag I've ever been given at every conference I've ever attended. This translates to a lot. But the problem came when it was time to bag my produce. I was still having to use the plastic grocery bags. I even started looking online at this sort of thing but really didn't want to pay $4 a pop for apple bags. So imagine my delight when I came across these Tidy Totes in the dollar store.


They're billed as something to keep in your car to manage clutter, but these mesh bags work beautifully for produce and they cost 25 cents a piece. The checkers at the grocery store have no problem reading the labels through the bag, and they'll usually give me the "brought own bag" discount for all my canvas bags and all my mesh bags. And that's one less day of killing sea turtles. Also, they're just cute and cheery.

Here's the important thing, though. I don't go to the dollar store and start just tossing things into my cart because I'm so excited about the prices (trust me though, I'm tempted). When I know I need to buy things like toiletries, or spices, or gift wrap, or cleaning supplies, I try to go there with my list first. Because if I can find it there, I can buy it for less than I was going to have to spend somewhere else. That way I actually am saving money--money which I can then spend on things like brie and my very own team of palm-frond-wavers and frozen-grape-feeders.

Anyway, those are the reasons behind my love. Has anyone else here been converted? Care to share your testimony?

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While we're pinning all our hopes and dreams on one man

Did everyone watch the inauguration today? Or are you planning to? Have been excited about this ever since Election Day and am happy to report that Michelle Obama's coat was awesome. Whew.

While watching the coverage this morning I realized that I missed a prime opportunity to do a bit of live blogging, especially during the parts where all the staff and Cabinet and such were walking down to their seats.

Me: That lady's American flag scarf is a bit much, I think.

GH: Mmm.

Me: Except her husband has that really natty fedora on, so . . .

And then we both made the "balancing the scales" hand gesture.

One thing I've been thinking about for the last few days is how this inauguration seems roughly on par with the wedding of Charles and Diana. (Get your commemorative plates, pins, tea towels here!) Let's hope this thing goes better than that thing did.

But the other thing I'm thinking about is how much I do not envy anyone who is being handled the reins of the presidency right now. Especially someone who is being billed as Son of Promise, Child of Hope or He Who Has Come to Save Us All in the Manner of Jesus As Foretold By Ancient Prophecy.


Because really, how can anyone live up to that? I mean, no matter what the man says about what is and it not possible, you know there people out there who are going to expect way too much of one person. So. While we're handing out unrealistic expectations for the new President, I'd like to add a few of my own:

Get rid of plastic grocery bags like they did in China. Because that would be awesome.

Please go back in time and cancel No Child Left Behind.

Fix the part where women are still earning less than men for doing the same jobs.

Ban gum chewing, because people don't seem to be able to do it without showing me their tonsils.

Please make everyone understand the value of libraries, or at least make the bunker-livers shut up about what a waste of tax dollars they are.

Let's get rid of Hummers for personal use. Because they're just stupid and take the Compensating for Something syndrome to new levels of unattractiveness.

How about getting some more English Oaks over here? I love me an English Oak. Also hedgerows. Let's get some of those too.

Outlaw leggings. Immediately.

Anybody have some to add? I'd love to hear 'em.

Of course, at some point I remember that a President can't do all these things, even if he agrees with me about the leggings. Which, hi, he totally should and probably does and dreads the day when his little girls want to go out in public wearing them, because then the terrorists will have won.

And then I realize that what we CAN do is become more aware of and put more effort into our local, county, and state governments. Too many of us (ME being the absolute worst offender of all time) know next to nothing about what is happening there and have never even tried to educate ourselves or make our voices heard. And then we complain about the kind of officials who get elected and the kind of laws that get passed (or don't). I think at least in Utah we fall into the trap of supposing that if we elect people who belong to our party or our religion (and they are two different things, ahem) then we can sit back and rest easy in the knowledge that everything is being taken care of nicely and we don't need to take any further notice.

Which, hi, no. I think we need to do more than that and I think we need to know more than that. Again, I am the worst about this. It has taken me roughly 10 years of living in Utah to finally realize that this is my actual home now and that what happens here affects me, my family, and the people I work and play and worship with.

So. That is my plan to help out the Son of Promise--by being a better citizen myself. Also by avoiding leggings. And Hummers.

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The ring story, or how I get to be an eco-chic bride

So. About my fabulous ring. The stones are from an anniversary band my paternal grandfather gave to my grandmother. Her band was yellow gold and had two identical rows of small diamonds in graduating size. A couple of years after my she died, my aunt (who inherited it) gave the ring to me. It was a very sweet thing, and it meant a lot to have such a personal remembrance of my grandmother. (Consider, if you will, that up until that point my only beqeathment was a set of decorative Christmas pillows.) I loved the idea of being able to wear Nanny's ring someday, but the setting on hers wasn't exactly my taste and the band was way too big.

Once GF and I got engaged, I started looking around at anniversary band designs to see if there was something out there that would work with her stones, which weren't all the same size. I eventually found a really cool one over at Blue Nile. We were going to go to a regular jewelry store in L**** to see what they could do for us, but then a friend of GF's mentioned this amazing guy who did his and his wife's rings last year. He doesn't advertise, he doesn't have a show room, and the only way you can find him is by a referral from a previous customer.

So I called and made an appointment to meet him in a small office and he told me a bit about his philosophy and why he decided to start doing individual commissions. (He usually just designs and manufactures jewelry for the stores.) He said he was getting discouraged by what was happening in the jewelry industry. He talked about why it can sometimes be bad for the consumer to shop at a store with a showroom of inventory. Because the store has made such a huge financial investment, they have to push that inventory and clear it out if they're going to make a profit. So unless you're adamant about what you want, it's possible that you could be steered away from what you have in mind to what they need to sell. And sometimes he's seen stores mark up their inventory by as much as 700% and then have huge half-off sales, in order to clear out the showroom and make room for new things. In addition, people may even get misled in the stores about the quality of their stones, not because the salesperson is lying but because they've been given bad information. And since they're not experts they only know what they're told. So this guy decided to open his business up and see clients on a limited basis, find out what they want, and make it for them from scratch. That's it. Pretty cool, huh? So I showed him my picture and he said he could absolutely do that.

I was glad that we didn't need to buy any new diamonds because the whole diamond trade makes me uneasy. I probably would have voted for a synthetic stone or gemstone if I'd had my heart set on something like that. Turns out this guy doesn't go through Africa or DeBeers, though. He gets his diamonds from Russia and has them cut in Israel.

So a week after I gave him my ring and the picture from the Internet, he called me in to try on a wax model of the new ring, with the stones set in it. This way I could see how it looks and feels on my hand and suggest changes. I loved it and told him to go ahead and do the real thing. Which, as you can see, turned out beautifully. I love it a lot, and I also love that I have this beautiful family heirloom to wear, especially since both my grandfather and grandmother have passed away. So it will be a nice way to honor them, I hope.

I won't tell you what the total price was, but it was low enough that Gentleman Friend just booked us a room for our wedding night that not only has a waterfall in the breakfast nook but also liquid Cadbury coming from the taps and pillows made of brie.

ps. I'm taking Friday off and going down to Snowbird tonight to center my chi. GF and I are going to be hanging out with his family in this cool place. We'll need it too, on account of yesterday was pretty special. 25% of GF's coworkers were laid off, and someone ran into my car with a scooter and scratched it all up. Also I hurt people's feelings, almost lost a family dog, and said a real bad swear word when my car was hit. It's time to head for the hills.

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Phone conversation with Gentleman Friend

Me: Hang on, it might get a little loud. I'm just starting a load of laundry. Wherein I am using my special new non-earth-killing laundry detergent.

GF: Hippie.

Me: You know it.

GF: No, it's cool. To balance that, though, I've started leaving the water on while I brush my teeth.

Me: WOW. Yeah, see, that hits me in pretty much the two worst ways. One is the wasting of the earth's resources, and the other is the higher utility bill.

GF: Oh yeah?

Me: Yeah. The only way you could make it worse is if you were also using that water to drown a puppy.

GF: Who says I'm not?

(Note for the Internet: I'm using the Blue Eucalyptus & Lavender scent and it is amazing. Plus it's plant-based rather than petroleum based. So I am single-handedly reducing Our Country's Dependence On Oil. Go me!)

What have y'all done lately to save the planet (or the puppies)?

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Happy Friday

Neighbor kids killed my daffodils. I'm pretty sure. Also their parents appear to have run over what was left with their car. This means I must kill the entire family and possibly eat their flesh. Or just move, and start planting daffodils and crocuses and lavender and other honey-bee-attracting plants where demon monkey spawn won't kill them.

But speaking of honey bees, have y'all heard about the honey bees and how they're dying out and everyone is real worried? Because yeah. The honey bees are dying out and everyone is real worried. Turns out one-third of our food supply is dependent on honey bee pollination, so it's kind of a problem if there are no more bees.

Haagen-Dazs has created a website all about what we can do to help the honey bees. We can learn more about them, we can not kill them, we can buy more honey and support our local honey sellers, and we can plant flowers that honey bees like, such as lavender, strawberries, jasmine, rosemary, bluebells, and sunflowers.

Also, did you know that yellow jackets aren't bees? They're wasps. The honey bees mind their business in the flowers, all gentle and fuzzy. The yellow jackets go after your soda at picnics and buzz all around the trash cans at Disneyworld, which I feel is one more reason to hate Disneyworld (after the humidity and the heat and the part where you kind of wish that maybe one of the rides would break and injure you because the ambulance and hospital are probably air-conditioned).

So anyway. Save the honey bees!

Next week: The reveal of the bookshelf redesign. Prepare to receive the dews of heaven.

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The gum chewing post

As I've spent the last two days sick with the flu, I've had time to think about world-saving ideas. My latest one?

No More Chewing Gum

I don't see the point of it. It's not food. It has no nutritional benefit. It's not biodegradable, so it'll be around forever. Just take a look at the commercials. All they can do is try to make a cool commercial without really mentioning the gum, because what can they even say about it? "Um, we think you should put this flavored tar in your mouth and chew it over and over again. No reason."

As pointless and stupid as chewing gum is, my bigger problem is with the gum chewers. After all, wads of gum don't end up in water fountains, city sidewalks, under desks, and in carpets all by themselves. No indeed. It is the stupid idiot chewers who leave it there, and I would have no problem with such behavior incurring penalties like tongue forking.

Here's the other thing, and this is where I'm going to hurt some feelings. But only because I care.
You look stupid when you chew gum.

You really do. This is especially true if you are the kind who simply cannot keep your lips together while chewing. Yes, I'm talking to you. You look like a cow, standing in a field, staring vacantly while chewing your cud. And it's nasty. I don't want to hear the smacking of your lips. I don't want to see your gum rolling around in your mouth, and I don't want to watch your jaw going up and down, up and down, over and over again. It's just gross and it makes you, literally, look like a slack-jawed idiot. The words that come out of your mouth automatically have less intellectual merit when they're accompanied by the sticky, spitty, snapping sounds of chewing gum.

So. Now that we've established that, I think we can get rid of the gum. Exceptions will be for people who are trying to give up smoking and need to have something in their mouth, and also for pregnant women. Because so help me I'm not about to tell a pregnant woman what she can and can't chew. I would recommend that she chew quietly and with closed lips if she doesn't want people to moo at her, but still: her choice.

For those of you whining about needing something after a meal to freshen your breath, I believe they've invented a special new thing called breath mints. Look into them.

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As I start braiding my hair into dreadlocks

Just read the book Plenty: One Man, One Woman and a Raucous Year of Eating Locally by Alisa Smith and J.B. Mackinnon, the people behind the 100 Mile Diet website.


It's about a couple in Vancouver who decided to eat only foods produced within a 100 mile radius for one year. And they were way hard core about it, too (no sugar, no chocolate, etc). It was a good read, and not just because they talked about food pretty much the whole time. If a book is about food, it's almost guaranteed to be a winner with me. And lately if it's about local food then it's even better. You remember how much I loved Barbara Kingsolver's Animal, Vegetable, Miracle. The thing that hits me about these books is how well these people are eating. Yes, they have to do more work and more research and maybe pay more money. And they make choices that I will possibly never make (like the chocolate thing). But man. It just sounds so, soooo good.

Am also slowly getting through Michael Pollan's The Omnivore's Dilemma. Have told myself I have to finish it before I can start on his new In Defense of Food: An Eater's Manifesto.

The other day I read a few pages of Omnivore's Dilemma before bed and came to a paragraph that made my mind explode, but in a good way. Pollan stayed a week at Polyface Farm in Virginia, following around the owner, Joel Salatin, to see how his operation works. At one point they talk about how organic food (or sustainable food, or local food, or whatever) is seen as elitist and only affordable for the rich. And then Salatin said this:

“. . . whenever I hear people say clean food is expensive, I tell them it’s actually the cheapest food you can buy. That always gets their attention. Then I explain that with our food all of the costs are figured into the price. Society is not bearing the cost of water pollution, of antibiotic resistance, of food-borne illness, of crop subsidies, of subsidized oil and water—of all the hidden costs to the environment and to the taxpayer that make cheap food seem cheap. No thinking person will tell you they don’t care about all that. I tell them the choice is simple: You can buy honestly priced food or you can buy irresponsibly priced food.” (p.243)

The more I thought about it, the more this made sense. There are costs to running down to Wal-Mart to get whatever is cheapest. We just won’t necessarily be paying them at the register.

Instead we pay them in the form of taxes to subsidize farmers who are paid to produce more corn than we can ever use.

We pay with the pollutants in our water from all the nitrogen fertilizer needed to grow that much corn year after year on the same bits of land.

We pay with the extra calories in all of our processed foods (thank you, high-fructose corn syrup).

We pay in the form of medical bills for obesity-related illnesses, Type II Diabetes, and heart disease.

We pay with the e. coli in our spinach and the mad cow disease in our beef and every other time our food is tainted in some way (results of large-scale production practices).

We pay with the lack of nutritional value in our foods.

We pay when we have no local food options left because they’ve all been muscled out.

We pay when the farmers (or would-be farmers) in our communities fail because there isn’t enough demand for local goods.

We pay with the needless burning of fossil fuels required to transport foods in from thousands of miles away—foods that could be (and possibly are) grown in our own towns.

Does anyone else think this is crazy? But even so, it's hard to decide to pay more now and go to the extra work of finding non-mass-produced food sources. Especially when money is tight and a cheaper alternative is right in front of us. And when we're so unconnected from the big picture of what's behind our food, and where we'll be if things keep going the way they are.

Michael Pollan acknowledges this and says that as the system stands in our country, with “cheap industrial food” being heavily subsidized, many Americans don’t feel they can afford to buy non-industrial food. But, he makes this very good point, I think:

“As a society we Americans spend only a fraction of our disposable income feeding ourselves—about a tenth, down from a fifth in the 1950s. Americans today spend less on food, as a percentage of disposable income, than any other industrialized nation, and probably less than any people in the history of the world. This suggests that there are many of us who could afford to spend more on food if we chose to. After all, it isn’t only the elite who in recent years have found an extra fifty or one hundred dollars each month to spend on cell phones (now owned by more than half the U.S. population, children included) or television, which close to 90 percent of all U.S. households now pay for. Another formerly free good that more than half of us happily pay for today is water. So is the unwillingness to pay more for food really a matter of affordability or priority?” (p.243)

Does anyone else have any thoughts about this stuff? Catfights are fine as long as you leave my mom out of it.

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How to be a bleeding-heart pinko commie treehugger

Because really, who doesn't want that? Y'all remember how much I loved Animal, Vegetable, Miracle by Barbara Kingsolver. My book group is reading it this month and I can't wait to chat about it--seems like at least one other member is liking it too.

A few weeks ago on the PUBLIB listserv (for public libraries & librarians) one member asked for ideas about consumerism-type books, as her library's book club wanted to read one. And oh, did people respond. We're librarians, remember? Asking us for book recommendations is pretty much like throwing prime chum in the water next to both seals and surfers.

I figured I would get the list up here so that anyone who may want to be considered for membership at our future hippie compound in Montana (other members: Daltongirl and Sakhmet, who is pushing for a milder climate, which I can get behind). can get caught up on the syllabus. And possibly also so that I don't lose the list.

The Travels of a T-Shirt in the Global Economy: An Economist Examines the Markets, Power and Politics of World Trade, Pietra Rivoli.

Not Buying It: My Year Without Shopping, Judith Levine

Affluenza: The All-Consuming Epidemic, John de Graffe, et al

Fast Food Nation, Eric Schlosser

Why We Buy: The Science of Shopping, Paco Underhill

Nickel and Dimed: On (not) Getting By in America, Barbara Ehrenreicht

No Logo: Taking Aim at Brand Bullies, Naomi Klein

Shock Doctrine: Rise of Disaster Capitalism, Naomi Klein

A Year Without “Made In China”: One Family’s Adventures in the Global Economy, Sara Bongiorni

How Starbucks Saved My Life: A Son of Privilege Learns to Live Like Everyone Else, Michael Gates Gill

Bittersweet : the story of sugar, Peter Macinnis

Consumed: How Markets Corrupt Children, Infantilize Adults, and Swallow Citizens Whole, Michael Norton

Omnivore's Dilemma, Michael Pollan.

Crunchy cons: the new conservative counterculture and its return to roots, Dreher 2006 (psst! This one is about conservatives who eat organic vegetables without shame!)

American Mania: When More is Not Enough, Whybrow 2005

Consuming religion: Christian faith and practice in a consumer culture, Miller 2005

Don't get too comfortable: The Indignities of Coach Class, The Torments of Low Thread Count, The Never- Ending Quest for Artisanal Olive Oil, and Other First World Problems, Rakoff 2005

Exporting America: Why Corporate Greed is Shipping American Jobs Overseas, Dobbs 2004

I want that! : how we all became shoppers, Thomas Hine

The Long Tail: Why the Future of Business is Selling Less of More, Chris Anderson

The Tipping Point: How Little Things Can Make a Big Difference, Malcom Gladwell

The Wisdom of Crowds, James Surowiecki

Waste and Want: A Social History of Trash, Susan Strasser

And really, this is a whole nuther blog post in the making (so, you know, gird up your loins for that one) but I really do not understand what the deal is with conservatives and the environment--or, I should say more specifically, with Mormons (who tend to be politically conservative) and the environment.

Is it because we believe in the Last Days and so there's really no need to bother preserving the earth because it's just going to get all burned up anyway?

Does living in Utah and other wide-open spaces make us feel like there's always going to be more of everything and if there isn't then that's not our problem?

Is it because conservation and the environment are frequently supported by the politically liberal, and we should never believe anything the liberals say about anything, including things like "Hi, my name is Bob" and "My, the sky looks hazy today." Probably this whole environmentalism thing is just a trick to get us running abortion clinics out of our garages.

And guess what else? I don't care if global warming turns out to be fake. Seriously. I absolutely do not care. It will not change the way I feel about my responsibilities and my feeling that I should be trying to make the world a better place rather than squeezing every last bit of use from it and leaving nothing for the people who come after me. And it's funny that more LDS people (and Christians in general) don't talk about this, considering what we are taught about exactly those ideas: stewardship, responsibility, moderation, unselfishness, preparation, priorities. If you need scriptural evidence, look at what God told Adam when he gave him stewardship over the earth. Look at the parable of the talents. It's right there.

Aaaand possibly I won't be needing that second blog post now. Woops.

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Have found new meaning in life

Always a good thing, non? Remember that one time when I sat through a Relief Society lesson about how it's important to be self-sufficient and to can peaches?

Here were my questions:

What's up with canning and all that? Why should we do it? If I already have a year's supply of peaches from Costco then shouldn't I be good? Why on this sweet earth should I spend a Saturday up to my elbows in sticky nastiness just to give myself botulism? I mean, if you like to do those things and you like knowing where your food comes from and it gives you a feeling of satisfaction, then that's wonderful and I say more power to you. But what if you just don't care?

So that's the question I really wanted to ask, even though there was no time for it: If you really could not care less about this stuff and you can get your food/clothing needs met in other ways, why bother with it? Should we learn just because you never know what might happen and it's good to have as many self-reliance-type skills as possible? Because I actually can accept that as a reason. I just want to know if there are others.

So that's where I was at.


Then a couple of weeks ago I read Animal, Vegetable, Miracle by Barbara Kingsolver. The School Library Journal's review of the book says, "Give this title to budding Martha Stewarts, green-leaning fans of Al Gore's An Inconvenient Truth, and kids outraged by Eric Schlosser's Fast Food Nation." Which, me . . . me . . . me . . . Only they should also have included "Mormons who need a reason to care about canning."

Because oh friends, I now care. This was one of those books where I kept calling people up and saying, "And then do you know what the Man did???"

The premise is that Kingsolver and her family packed up and moved from Tucson, Arizona to a farm in the Appalachian mountains. They felt that after so many years of living in the middle of the desert they'd made enough of an environmental footprint (all their food has to be imported in from other places, because hi, desert) and were ready for a change. So their experiment was to see if, for a year, they could live comfortably on foods that they either produced themselves or which came from local sources. For them a big part of it was not wanting to waste fossil fuel and other natural resources to feed themselves. They did cheat by buying olive oil & spices that come from other places, but for the most part they stuck to their guns for the experiment. And they seemed to eat pret-ty darn well, it seemed to me.

Barbara Kingsolver is a fiction writer who wrote, among other things, The Bean Trees and The Poisonwood Bible. I will be honest and say that there are a few places where she comes off just a bit too "Hey, remember the part where I'm a really deep author? Because I am. Check me out with my deep descriptions."

Anyway. It was kind of fascinating. Because Kingsolver not only writes about her family's experience, but she talks about the larger picture of food production in our country and where we're headed as a people. Answer: Nowhere good. She makes the point that in just a couple of generations we have lost a lot of the knowledge and skills that are needed to produce food. Much of the US farmland has been moved into crops like soy and corn, which are nice and all but won't actually cut it if our food importation channels break down. (ps. And then so all that corn and soy aren't getting wasted they put them in all of our foods, which makes us fat. Thanks for that, America.) And if/when our current system of food-getting fails, we're going to be in trouble. We can do without electricity but it's a bit harder to do without food.

You also read about the benefits of buying local fruits and vegetables and of eating these things in their season. A few benefits:

You keep your neighbors in business, which helps your local economy, schools, libraries, etc.

Foods taste better when they're in season. You're a lot more likely to want to eat your veggies when they actually taste good. You know how you're always excited to see your summer clothes when you pull them out of storage? It's like that. Because you get to wear them when it's the perfect time for them, and then you pack them up again before they have a chance to bore you. And then it's time to be excited for fall clothes.

You enjoy more variety, rather than only eating the few breeds of fruits and vegetables which have been deemed hardy enough to survive thousand-mile trips and uniform enough to look nice in the supermarket. Example: the delicious and very cool-looking heirloom tomatoes I bought at the farmer's market on Saturday. They have names like Jubilee and Pink Girl and Brandywine. Last night I made pasta primavera with my farmer's market tomatoes, squash, and zucchini. It was fabulous.

You get better information about where your food has been, how it was raised, and what's been done to it. Or what hasn't been done to it, as the case may be. Or what it might do to you. Who doesn't love eating wax with their apples? Who doesn't love wondering if animal remains and feces were part of your beef's diet?

You help the environment, because you're not wasting loads and loads of gas having your food trucked in.

You're not exploiting people in developing countries who work under awful conditions for terrible wages and then ship all the food they've produced to us.

The more you support local food, the more local food your neighbors can produce, which leads to even more tasty local options for you, the consumer. And then it's like this big food love fest.

You get to stick it to The Man. Which, really, for me is always one of the best reasons to do things. Did you know that there are varieties of tomato which have been genetically engineered to produce sterile seeds? That way you can't save them and plant them the next year--you have to buy more from the seed company. That kind of crap just enrages me, no matter what form it takes. If food is becoming a form of intellectual property, what's next? Killing babies, that's what.

Yes, it can be more expensive to buy local rather than going through Wal-Mart. But the very reason that stuff is cheap is possibly because it isn't very good, it might kill you, and because the farmers have been screwed over. And even if you don't have the space or resources to grow the stuff yourself, you can still support the farmers who are Fighting the Good Fight.

Now let's reintroduce the canning thing. This way you can still enjoy all those lovely seasonal local foods during the off-season times. Kingsolver recommends buying up all the local stuff you can find at the end of the summer to can or freeze. The farmers win because they are able to sell everything from that year's harvest, which means they can invest in next year's. We win because we have a freezer/pantry full of good stuff at very good prices.

So yes. It gave me lots to think about. I can't start growing all my food in the back yard, but I can do some things. A coworker gave me two bags of corn from her garden, so I froze them in freezer bags. I found Utah peaches at the grocery store, so I bought a few pounds and froze them. My neighbor has two apple trees which hang over into my yard. I've been picking fruit for the last couple of weeks and eating it with lunches and breakfast, but I think it's time for a real harvest.

This, to me, feels pretty cool. Because I'm getting these guys when they're absolutely at their best flavor, I'm getting them for practically nothing, and I haven't wasted anything or exploited anyone. And I'm being a force for social change. Next year I might even try it with jars and everything.

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characterized by assumption of dignity or importance

So I have this friend who accuses me of being pretentious. He's wrong, of course. What he considers pretentious is just right-headedness. But anyway. It got me thinking about the things that I do tend to be a bit picky or snobbish about. And here's what I've come up with.

Grammar & Usage--being an editor will do that to you, as will living in a state (or, fine, country) where people routinely cripple, maim, and strangle the English language before leaving it dead in a ditch somewhere.

Recycling--around here, wanting to recycle and conserve somehow labels you as a hippie snob (and possible Democrat who slaughters babies for fun) right off the bat. Which I think is absolutely unfair to assume. You'd think that people wanting to conserve our natural resources would also be in favor of conserving babies. But there's just no reasoning with some people.

Movies--I used to watch pretty much anything that wasn't rated R. Only then I think I sat through one stupid movie too many, and I realized that these were hours of my life I couldn't get back. So yes, I still love movies, but I absolutely will ditch out if people are going to see a movie that got awful reviews. I don't care how "fun" or "cute" or "Mormon" it is. I haven't even gone to see the Fantastic 4 sequel, even though my fiance is the leading actor. That's how snobby I am.

Fast food--Yes, I realize that I went to Wendy's last night and got a hamburger because I was heading out dancing and it sounded like a good idea. Only I wouldn't have had to if the stupid grocery stores didn't keep giving me yams labeled as sweet potatoes yet again, thereby ruining the nice dinner I had planned for myself and leaving me open to fast-food temptation! (breathe . . . breathe . . .) Anyway. I've started thinking more about what I eat and the whole "garbage in, garbage out" principle. And the "eat nothing but chemicals, get an extra hand stump growing out of your torso" principle. I expect I'll become a fruitarian next.

Thread-count--I blame Mistress of Mayhem for this one. I stayed at her house a couple years ago and became acquainted with the glory that is extra-soft Egyptian cotton. It has spoiled me forever and I just can't go back to sleeping on polyester-blend potato sacks like I could do back when I was a college freshman and cheaper equaled better. Plus, I figure if I can't have a hot man next to me in bed I can at least have nice sheets under me.

Standing ovations--I'm sure I've documented my feelings quite enough on this blog, so I won't get into it.

Wedding invitation etiquette--Especially with regards to registry info. Feelings already documented.

Milk--This is not official yet, but I'm probably on my way to becoming a milk snob, since I've just started getting milk delivered from a dairy. Yay! These are all the reasons why I'm excited:

1. It's almost the exact same price as what's in the stores.
2. The dairy is local, so it's good for the environment (less shipping, reusable bottles) and good for the local economy.
3. This milk doesn't have all the additives and hormones, and it gets to me when it's about 48 hours old.
4. They bring it to my door, which is convenient for me but also lets me imagine that I'm living in a simpler, happier time of milkmen and darling milk bottles on your front porch.

So, bring on the snobby, I say. I'm sure there are some I've forgotten, but does anyone else want to share? What are your big pretensions?

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YouTube is dumb

I wrote this whole post for you this morning all about how I'm taking the day off work to avoid killing people and children and puppies, and even included a video and dumb YouTube still hasn't posted it. Dorks.

Anyway, I'm not at work today and it's heavenly. I just went to the grocery store and strolled up and down the aisles at my leisure, buying all manner of fabulous things like Guittard chocolate chips and toasted sesame seeds and coconut milk and artichoke hearts. Later today I'm going to a farmer's market with a friend where I will bask in the superiority of my environmental footprints as I purchase locally-grown produce. Because that's attractive.

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Brevity is the soul of wit.

Must run, have to get ready for a wedding. Was stunned to read the announcement in the paper and see that the bride graduated from high school in 2006. I didn't realize she was that young, although truthfully to me she'll always seem about 13 years old. What can you do?

So anyway, must go spend hours grooming and possibly get Botox beforehand. Also The Preciouses are coming up as well and will be staying at my house so I need to go toddler-proof some stuff. My habit of leaving half-filled water bottles laying around didn't go over so well last time when they found them in my room and dumped them all over their blankets when they were supposed to be going to sleep.

In the meantime, I could use your help. Turns out my library has never really celebrated Banned Books week, which is one of my favorite weeks of all time. So I asked if we could please do some stuff and got the go-ahead. (Edgy, I'll be picking your brain on this one!) I'll need to be pretty low-key this time around because hi, small conservative town where a lady complained that we had Harry Potter temporary tattoos sitting out for kids to take. (She objected to the tattoos more than to Harry.) So it's going to be more about "Hey, Celebrate Your Freedom to Read" rather than "Hey, Read Subversive Literature Because You Can!" That'll be the subtext, though.

My plan so far is to do posters, some book displays, the "100 most frequently banned or challenged" list, and some drawings. I'd like to give away as prizes some books that have been challenged or that are to do with censorship (like The Giver or The Landry News or Fahrenheit 451). Can you take a look at this list and tell me which books you'd like to get as a prize, especially if you were a kid or young adult? Or if there are other good ones please feel free to add those too.

Thank you!

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Watch what you read

So this article is really interesting--and one of the freakier things I've heard lately. A bookstore employee had the FBI turn up and grill him about what he'd been reading earlier that week in a coffee shop. (It was a left-leaning article criticizing the post-9-11 media.) Apparently someone else in the coffee shop thought this guy was a threat to national security. You know, because he was reading.

Crazy times we live in. Kind of makes me want to go read Al-Qaeda propaganda in an airport, since this is A FREE COUNTRY AND THAT IS MY CONSTITUTIONAL RIGHT, THANK YOU VERY MUCH.

pic from the The Institute for Public Affairs

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Let's make the world a better place

The other day I got my hair cut at a new place. Spitfire recommended it. It's one of those cheapish places that used to be a Fantastic Sam's but was then bought out. The kind where a haircut and style costs $10. But Spitfire says she's gone there several times and has always been happy with what they've done.

So I went and the girl did a great job. I got a cut, style, and highlights for $35. Woot!

BUT, as we were talking, we got around to the subject of managers we've had and frustrating work situations we've been in, and she told me this gem: The owner of the salon does not give them raises. At all. Ever. I asked how that works out with the whole cost of living increase and she says they just don't get anything. The owner says they can feel free to raise their rates once they get a loyal clientèle, but I think that's kind of ridiculous. This isn't a fancy schmancy salon. It's the kind of place people go to because they don't want to spend a lot of money on their hair. If the prices get raised they'll just go someplace else, or they'll ask for a cheaper stylist.

So of course there is a lot of employee turnover at this place. But there is one woman who has been working there for 5 years without a raise. Which basically means that she's earning less now than she was 5 years ago.

I swear it's like there's crack in some people's water.

This did get me thinking, though, about an article I read once. The writer said you should start a notebook and keep it throughout your working life. For every job (or every manager) you have, you write down the things that you like about their style and the things you most definitely do not like. That way when you get to be a manager you might actually reap some benefit from all those nights when you raged to your friends/parents/goldfish about how if your boss gives you One More Reason then you will quit in some huge blowout gesture that will most likely involve profanity, gasoline, and matches.

So. I want to start working on my list of Things To Not Do When I'm Running the World. Most of these are possibly but not necessarily absolutely taken from managers I've had in the past. Because I've had lots. And if any of them stumble across this and recognize themselves, well then I think they know what they need to start working on. And they should probably thank me.

The List

When my employees make mistakes, I will reassure them that it's okay and that they're not fired and that they're not even in trouble because it's the kind of thing that could happen to anyone (if indeed that is the case). I will not immediately afterwards blab to everyone else in the office exactly what they did so that I can hold them up as a bad example.

I will not expect my employees to become my surrogate family/friends/children, or to treat each other as such.

I will not cry in front of my employees. Unless I have to because I've just fallen down the stairs or something, because that would really hurt.

I will not inflict my own freakish preferences of desk cleanliness upon people to such an extent that it impedes their ability to work.

I will not come to work if I'm so hopped up on medication that I don't even know what the crap I'm saying or doing.

I will not begrudge people their vacation time, or make judgments about whether or not I feel they're using it on worthwhile things. It's Not. My. Business.

I will not tell racist or sexist jokes in the workplace, and I will bring the smack down on people who do.

I will be willing to stand up for my employees if they complain about a working situation that is truly unacceptable.

When hiring, I will not ask illegal questions about religion, race, family, or family planning. I will not completely disregard single female applicants and instead just hand the job to some guy with 5 kids because "he needs it more."

So. That's just the beginning of my list. Anyone want to help me out here with their own contributions? Make those comments as long as you want. If you're feeling positive, you could also include some items of things your bosses have done that you've really admired or appreciated as well!

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Oh no you didn't

My brother-in-law sent me the link to a May 20th Op-Ed piece in the New York Times by Mark Helprin entitled "A Great Idea Lives Forever. Shouldn't its Copyright?". I think Ed only sent it so he could stand back and watch my brain explode, the same way a kid might light an illegal firework imported from Mexico.

(Note: Prepare yourself for a rant. This is what I wrote my dissertation on, so I'm slightly impassioned.)

Helprin is whining because he wants the copyright term to be extended, again, some more. He thinks that if he were to write the Great American Novel (which I hope he never does, because I'm pretty sure I would hate that book), then only holding the rights to that novel for the rest of his life + 70 additional years (the current copyright term in the USA) is just not even enough. Because what if his poor great-grandson can't buy a boat for his 13th birthday once all those nasty public domain people rob his posterity blind?

My answer to that, of course, would be to tell the g-grandson to write his OWN Great American Novel and stop this About a Boy nonsense. Also to get a job. And tuck in his shirt. And comb his freaking hair for gosh sakes.

The original copyright term set up in this country was 14 years. The Founding Fathers understood that no one can own an idea. But since it does take work to develop ideas and put them into accessible formats and publish them, the copyright term was established. It was meant to provide incentive & compensation for creators to share their ideas, with the understanding that their ideas (and the form in which they shared them with the world) would eventually be made part of the public domain and others could then build upon them. That way everyone wins. And if creators & authors didn't want to share, then that was just fine--they could just Keep It To Themselves and Never Tell Anyone Their Fabulous Great Idea. And they could stay home and pet their idea alone in their room and murmur “My Precious” to it.

Helprin is trying to say that a novel or song or play should be treated the same way as a house or boat and should stay within the original builder's possession forever and ever, worlds without end. But songs and novels and plays aren't like houses or boats. They're not created for the private use of just one family. They don't really begin to exist as great works until they're sent out into the world to be seen and read and studied and appreciated. You can't take away a creative work from someone by using it.

And anyway, the big power behind the push for extended and ridiculously strong copyright is not coming from the descendants of dead writers of the Great American Novel. It’s coming from corporations like Disney who don't want to lose control of their characters—characters which, for the most part, existed in the public domain before Disney adapted them. So on that thought, here is a brilliant, brilliant video about copyright, fair use, and Disney. Don’t be put off by the length, because the last minute is mostly credits.

ps. Since writing the above, I discovered that Mr. Lawrence Lessig His Own Self has responded to Helprin's article in the form of a wiki ("Against Perpetual Copyright") so that other people can contribute their comments, which, seriously? Is awesome. Glad Lawrence and I are on the same page here. ;-)

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Continuing on the gas theme

My sweet sister Spitfire sent this email forward out to the rest of the family.

FW: No Gas On May 15th 2007

Don't pump gas on MAY 15th
In April 1997, there was a "gas out" conducted nationwide in protest of gas prices. Gasoline prices dropped 30 cents a gallon overnight. On May 15th 2007, all internet users are to NOT GO to a gas station in protest of high gas prices. Gas is now over $3.00 a gallon in most places.

There are 73,000,000+ American members currently on the internet network, and the average car takes about 30 to 50 dollars to fill up. If all users did not go to the pump on the 15th, it would take $2,292,000,000.00 (that's almost 3 BILLION) out of the oil companies pockets for just one day, so please do not go to the gas station on May 15th and lets try to put a dent in the Middle Eastern oil industry for at least one day.

If you agree resend this to all your contact list. With it saying, ''Don't pump gas on May 15th"

Within 30 minutes of receiving her email, I sent her a link to the Urban Legends Reference Pages article debunking the idea and my other sister Jenny supplied a similar article. Because we're just rabid, rabid wolves like that who live for this kind of thing so we can swoop in and start picking off the young vulnerable herd members with our rightness and Internet sleuthing skills. Spitfire is very good about it--she knows this is our way.

My article says one-day gas-outs don't really have an effect (and never have, according to Jen's article--that bit about 1997 is totally made up) because people aren't buying less gas, they're just buying it on a different day. It doesn't bother the oil companies because they know we'll just be filling up on the 14th or the 16th. Driving & consumption habits haven't actually changed.

If we wanted to make a difference we would need to actually cut down our gas consumption, either through carpooling, biking, public transportation or even just plain planning our schedules better so that we make less trips. Everyone complains about the high gas prices, but it's easier to complain and make namby-pamby protest attempts (which don't actually cost us anything or inconvenience our lives in any way) than it is to give up the convenience of driving everywhere, all the time.

Take the Montgomery Bus Boycott. Those people found alternate transportation for a year until the law changed and the buses were desegregated. The personal inconvenience was worth the message they were trying to send out and the changes they were trying to effect. There was none of this "Well, we'll just ride the bus at a different time of day, and that'll show 'em" silliness.

So sure, I'll stay away from the gas pump on May 15. I don't think it'll make a difference, though. If people didn't buy gas for a month then we might see something. And I'll just look for more occasions to ride my bike, secure in the knowledge that in my own small way I'm Sticking it to the Man.

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Going green, baby

I'm trying to do more to help the environment. I think I'm going to sign up for this "Turn the Tide" challenge at Newdream.org. I wanted to see how I was doing first, though, to know if it's going to be possible. It's interesting reading, this list, because it turns out there are more reasons for making these changes than I'd thought. If you go read it you'll see what I mean. Plus it's just a cool website with lots of great ideas.

1. Skip a car trip each week

I need to get back into the mentality that walking actually is an acceptable way of getting around. I walked all over the place in England and yet the second I'm back in the US I forget that I have legs and that there are such things as sidewalks. (Not that there always are sidewalks, because there aren't. My route to work is one example.) Saturday I went out on foot and did some shopping. It was kind of fabulous--it was warm and sunny and beautiful outside. I met exactly one other person walking--everyone else was in cars. I even got honked at once. When I got home I found the door unlocked. My roommates must have seen my car parked outside, assumed I was still home, and so didn't lock the door when they left. Must speak to them about that. "Sometimes I might leave without my car."

2. Replace one beef meal each week

Hah. I don't even remember the last time I bought beef. Beef costs money. I only eat beef when I suddenly need a cheeseburger so badly that it causes me to black out. Like last night when I dreamed I was eating cheeseburgers. Or when I go to my parents' house. They are beefeaters there.

3. Shift your shrimp consumption

Turns out that shrimp-farming practices harm the rest of the marine wildlife. This is too bad, because I do love me some shrimp. But since the shrimp meals are always the more expensive ones on the menu I don't end up eating it very often.

4. Declare your independence from junk mail

Where do I sign up? I hate junk mail.

5. Replace four standard light bulbs with energy-efficient compact fluorescent lights

Hah! I just did 6! I rule. Last week I replaced our most-used lights with the new bulbs. This means that now my roommates are allowed to use the light fixtures instead of building coal fires and lighting candles. They are grateful for this. As well they should be.

I also took out a few extra light bulbs that we don't really need. I mean, seriously. Does anyone like being blinded by 4 light bulbs in the bathroom when they stagger in there in the middle of the night? No. It's bad enough that my bladder woke me up, I don't need to add pupil spasms to my list of problems.

6. Move the thermostat 3°F

As the piteous wails going up across the land from those who have lived with me will attest, this is not so much a problem.

7. Eliminate lawn and garden pesticides

Since I have absolutely no awareness of my lawn and have no garden, I think we're okay here.

8. Install an efficient showerhead and low flow faucet aerators

Went out and bought this stuff on Saturday. This will be an improvement, I think, as my current showerhead releases this odd circle of water just along the outer rim of it. It's possible to stand completely inside this circle and die of hypothermia while taking a steaming hot shower.

9. Inspire two friends

Is anyone here planning to be inspired? Spitfire says I can count her as one, so that's good.

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Your mom's a DOPA.

You know, if people would just stop being stupid then I could finish my dissertation in peace instead of having to be a force for social change all the time.

The latest is that the House of Representatives have passed this Deleting Online Predators Act, which, from the title, sounds like a good thing. I hate online predators, I'm all for deleting them. But what the bill actually does is require schools and public libraries to block pretty much any kind of site that allows "social networking" or interaction features. This would include:

• Blogs, including mine
• Instant-messaging
• MySpace and sites like unto it
• Gmail (because of the chat feature)
• Wikipedia and other wikis
• Online forums

What the crap is that? Those are pretty much the best things on the Internet!

Also, whoever heard of online predators hanging out at Wikipedia? Plus, lots of libraries have tried to make their websites better and more community-building by introducing interactive features--librarians can post library events or featured books and people can comment about them afterwards. Some have created discussions forums where people can discuss books and movies, etc. These updated websites could fall under this legislation as well, which would make all that time and money a waste.

Here's the main thing: Lots of people can only access the Internet at school or the libray. This includes people who come from very poor and disadvantaged communities. If they're going to learn how to use the Internet, that's where it's going to be. If this law passes, they won't even have access to those things, much less learn how to use them effectively and safely--they'll be put at an even greater technological and educational disadvantage.

Do you really want me to become a librarian and have to say to some kid (or adult), "I'm sorry, you're poor. Only the people with Internet at home get to be bloggers. Or use Wikipedia for research. Or open a Gmail account. In fact, you shouldn't even really know those words."

You can read a better, longer explanation at the ALA's page here. This still has to get through the Senate, but it went through the House practically uncontested. If you are bothered by the fact that people won't be able to read my blog at their public library (a travesty if there ever was one) then you know what to do.

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