In this the time of advice giving

Turns out you get yourselves a lot of advice when you're engaged. Some of it has been very good, some odd, and others just plain freakish. Here is a sampling.

Don't run out of either cereal or milk on a Saturday night. This was from GF's sister during a wedding shower, because she knows what a bear he can be in the morning without his cereal. Wait til he finds out that I sing show tunes in the morning.

Don't leave GF's DVDs out of their cases. Or talk during movies. This from another long-suffering sister of GF's. Except the joke is on him because I am a movie talker. Not so much at the theater but when I'm watching at home. And if he gets on me for it I can just point out that he talks during church, as opposed to writing notes, which is a more acceptable way of not paying attention/mocking what is happening around you.

Start calling your in-laws "Mom" and "Dad." I've heard this from two people now, which caused me and Gentlemom to give each other doubtful sidelong looks. I don't think either of us are for this plan, even though I love her dearly.

Don't keep anything in your master bedroom other than your bedroom furniture and your clothes. This was from Peter Walsh's book It's All Too Much: An Easy Plan for Living a Richer Life with Less Stuff. He says your room should be a retreat, and there shouldn't be anything in there that doesn't help build the mood you're going for. Which means that I may be setting a computer desk on the coffee table, but hey! My room is a retreat!

Don't go to bed angry. Friends, keeping me up late when I'm grumpy is almost as foolish as denying me food. Either way you're going to lose a hand. There's no easier way to convince me that a problem is insurmountable, that life is futile, and that the only way out involves explosives. Sleeping it off generally affords me loads of perspective.

Practice looking at your spouse with loving and longing eyes. This gem came from the book And They Were Not Ashamed by Laura M. Brotherson. We attended a church premarital class on intimacy last Sunday and the teacher drew heavily from that book. (There were also classes about communication, finances, and temple preparation but we skipped that junk and got right to the good stuff.) I thought the bit about the longing eyes was gag-worthy, but then the book said that if you think her ideas are dumb then you especially need to practice them. So there you have it.

I'm sure I'll get more, but I'd love to hear some of the cringe-worthy (or fabulous) wedding/marriage advice you've come across. Let's have 'em!

Posted in: a better way to live