When a question really isn't a question

You know you're in for it when a patron walks over and asks, "Can you tell me where you keep the movies that aren't rated R?"

What I should have said: "I wouldn't know, that's the only kind I watch." Or, perhaps, "Dude. I'm 9 months pregnant. My kid is punching me in the cervix as we speak. You really want to have a go at me? Because I'm not actually stable."

What I did say: "Well, there for sure aren't any R-rated movies in the children's area."

Patron: "Do I look like a child?"

Me: "Hmmmm." (Do not engage, do not engage . . . )

When it seemed safe, I did point out that our selection policy involves buying movies for the entire population, and not everyone is going to like everything.

Him: "Well, this is a very liberal area. That's why the R-rated stuff is so popular here."

Me: "Mmmm." (Not engaging, not engaging . . .)

Him: "Lots of Democrats in this area. They influence everything."

Me: (Engage!) "Well, that can't be entirely true, if the election was any indicator." (Sigh . . .)

That thought cheered him, though, and he let me show him a couple of TV series that he and his wife might like. And then we were fast friends.

Posted in: library gossip