Who even knew?

I won't bore you with what I've been up to for the last month (growing, packing, moving, unpacking, commuting, growing some more, getting kicked lots (by internal baby, not by external people)) but I will share a story from my new ward that you may find interesting.

GH and I recently moved to the northern part of Utah County and are discovering its strange new wonders. Our first Sunday at church was a real eye-opener because the discussion kept turning to politics and What The Gays Are Up To. (And this was before the President Packer talk and subsequent hulabaloo, mind you.)

This week was much more normal and less "grab your torches and pitchforks." So I'm hoping that first Sunday was maybe a fluke. But I do have Carina's list of gentle conversational redirects in my scriptures, just in case I need to use them. Also I found an air conditioning vent on the floor in the Relief Society room, so I parked myself over it and experienced nearly two hours of sheer bliss. Mmmmmmmmmm . . .

Anyway. Point.

A high council member visited the ward and spoke in sacrament meeting. He was talking about missionary work, since it's something President Monson brought up at General Conference as being on his mind. So he was talking about the decreasing numbers of missionaries, and what we can do to help prepare boys to be successful missionaries, etc.

And then this happened:

As sort of an aside, he started talking about what happens when the guys who do serve missions get home and leave the family wards and we lose track of them because they head off to college, where they struggle because all anybody does is spend time on Facebook so there are no social opportunities. In college. (His words.) And then he was like, "And we want these young men to get married and return to the family wards, but where are they going to find companions to marry?"

Which is where I whispered to GH, "Um, at college?"

But the high councilman said that the problem (wait for it . . . ) is that the young women of the church, who used to have the Plan A of getting married in the temple and becoming mothers back when they were 12 years old, have, now that they're older, all become focused on Plan B instead: Their education and careers.

So. It seems that all those coeds at BYU and UVU are just consumed by their careers now. Consumed. Don't you feel so enlightened now that the cause of the problem has been identified?

Have decided that this sweet, well-intentioned man must be getting this line from somewhere. So this is likely what his sons/nephews/closeted gay relatives have been telling him when he asks them why they're not married yet, or why they aren't dating more. "These girls, all they care about are their careers! That's why they won't go out with me." Um, guys? I call B.S. The Elementary Education/Early Childhood Education/Family Sciences programs at BYU are not packed to the gills because of women's cutthroat desire to go out and take names as preschool teachers. I'm just saying. It's true that we may have a Plan B, but it's still Plan B. It's not Plan A. If it were, that's what we would call it. And since Plan B is always a very real possibility for who-knows-how-long, it might as well be a kick-trash one. The kind that comes with good medical benefits. And trips to Europe. And gelato. And flings with English men.

My sister Spitfire reminded me of the time when we were in the same L**** singles ward, and she turned down a very nice guy after a couple of dates because she realized that they did not click and she wasn't interested in pursuing anything. So then his brother (also in our ward) got up in Elder's Quorum and went off about how the women of the church "don't have their priorities straight." Nice one. Just because a girl turns you down it doesn't mean she's not interested in dating/marriage. She's just not interested in doing those things with YOU. Assuming that the young men in question are even asking women out in the first place. (GH asserts that this goes both ways, with women assuming that men aren't dating when really, they're just not dating them. I am not sure I want to believe him, as this would alter my entire worldview.)

The rest of the talk was normal and fine, but he did say that since they aren't under the same obligation to serve missions, he hopes we can encourage the young ladies to renew their commitment to temple marriage and motherhood.

And, I dunno, maybe drop out of college or something. Because that'll fix things.

Posted in: being a Mormon,dating or not so much