Pregnancy brain, dun dun DUUUNN

I know that the whole "pregnancy brain" thing is supposed to be a myth and not real, and it's supposed to just be something that we bloated people came up with as an excuse for our own already-existing absentmindedness and stupidity.

Only, I have to say, it can be really nice to be able to blame things on pregnancy. Your B.O. so foul that it makes your husband's eyes water? Pregnancy. Sobbed unashamedly at the end of Knuffle Bunny Free? That is called pregnancy, and also having a working heart, people. Came thiiiisclose to faking labor when the lady in front of you at Michael's just stood there and acted all dumbfounded for about eighteen hours when the store wouldn't take back her items without a receipt and she had never even heard of something so ridiculous as a store requiring a receipt for returns and maybe if she just stood there and held out her hands expressively with eyebrows raised then she might somehow get her way? That is called pulling pregnancy rank, and I totally should have done it, and will do if the occasion arises again. Also I will maybe beat the people who are making me stand around on my swollen feet with whichever discounted seasonal gourd-studded decorations are to hand. We'll see. I bet nobody will prosecute because, see above: hugely pregnant.

All of these excuses aside, I really do think something has gone wrong with my brain. Because tonight I decided to heat up a mug of my delicious wassail in the microwave. But I guess I never actually put the mug into said microwave before setting the timer for 2 minutes, pushing the "Start" button, and wandering off to go start a load of laundry. Wanna know what happens when you do that? Because I know the answer to this now. Your microwave, without an object to focus on, is without purpose and decides that the next best thing to do is to SET ITSELF ON FIRE.

So . . . we're down a microwave now. GH is just glad he wasn't the one who did it, because it means he won't get his head beaten in with a pumpkin. And I'm sort of terrified of what I might do when Pregnancy Brain strikes next.

Posted in: pregnancy