It's getting warm and the clothes are coming off!

Working in the library, I can tell what kind of day it is outside by the way the library visitors dress. The other day I could tell we'd cleared 60 degrees because everyone who came in was either naked or wearing a beach cover-up.

This was fun when two little damp chlorine-drenched boys asked me for help finding Go, Diego, Go! DVDs. (My response: "I will absolutely help you, as soon as your little brother hops on down from that shelf." And yes, I will hold Diego hostage in order to bend children to my will.) The little boys (ages 6 and 4) crowded around me as I did a search in the catalog and one of them proudly whispered, "We just went to swimming lessons!"

Me: "I can smel--I mean, tell that you did! How was it?"

Little boys: "Really good."

Me: "Did you put your face in the water?"

Little boys: "Yes!"

Me: "Way to go! Now go teach my scaredy-pants niece how to do that." Except that last part was possibly in my head.

The "it's warm out and so I don't have to wear clothes" thing was less fun today when I helped a very nice mother and her (also nice) teenaged daughter reserve a book. The daughter was wearing teeny weeny tiny shorts, and she'd rolled down the waistband several times so that the shorts covered even less of her.

"I'd really like to help you ma'am, but I'm slightly distracted by the part where I can see your daughter's cervix."

Posted in: library gossip