Letter to my neighbor

Dear Neighbor,I am normally a dog lover. I do not, however, so much love your dog.I do not love the way that it growls and rushes at me every single time our paths happen to cross. I do not love the way that you, sitting up on your balcony smoking (which, by the way, appears to be the only thing that you do, in life, ever) just call down, "He won't hurt you!" Cuz guess what? Being barked at and growled at and hounded by a miniature doberman is actually annoying enough without actual pain. I'm just saying.This morning it was snowing. So I carefully made my way down my slushy apartment stairs, balancing several items in my arms, and about 5 steps from the bottom I heard the tell-tale bark and growl of your nasty little alpha rat. That animal followed me from my steps out to my car, growling...

Read More

Heh.

The other day we were in her neighborhood so we stopped by to visit GH's grandmother. As we walked up to her house, a woman called from across the street to a group of kids who were playing in the yard next door.Woman: "Jaaaaay-deeeeen!! . . . ". . . pause . . .Little Boy: "Which Jaden?"Awesome.Note: we were in the neighborhood because we were visiting the (no lie) 5th person we've gone to in our quest to Fix GH's Butt. If you ever feel that you have too much money on your hands, I think a really good thing for you to do would be to 1) brag about your emergency fund and general fiscal dominance on your blog, 2) go file your taxes, and 3) have someone in your family come down with sciatic nerve troubles. That'll fix ya. And your little dog too. The good news is that, eleventy-bajillion dollars...

Read More

Forever a pale-face

Decided to take advantage of the spring-like sunshine by taking a walk today on my lunch break. Things I noticed during said walk:1. Some people have more money than sense. Or taste. They buy these lots in well-established neighborhoods, tear down the charming 1940s-1950s homes that were sitting on them, and proceed to build flipping stone chateaus with towers like they think they're in France and it's the 1600s and they have serfs or something.2. Crocuses are still my favorite.3. Followed closely by daffodils.The thing I did NOT notice during the walk was the part where the sun was burning me. I came back to work and the first person I helped was all, "Um . . . were you recently in the sun or something? Cuz, you're kinda bright red."Great. Curse you, thin mountain a...

Read More

Now that I can talk about Hawaii

Let's hope this doesn't send me into a decline, but here are some of the pictures I promised. They're all taken from my Dad's iPhone, since I haven't uploaded my camera photos. Oh, and also since my camera completely crapped out on the second day and refused to work because it is possessed by Satan and then as soon as I got home was all, "What? No, I totally work, see? This is me working."Not seething.Anyway, my trip was amazing. I knitted and listened to the Guernsey Literary & Potato Peel Pie Society audiobook on my iPod the whole way there. Except I had to take the earbuds out near the end because I worried they might be changing the...

Read More

During the Oscars

(Upon hearing that Bradley Cooper and Gerard Butler would be presenting an award together.)Me, perking right the heck up and actually looking up from my knitting: "Ooooh . . . It's like a Man-Candy Sandwich!"And it was, cuz, behold:At which point my husband turned to give me a look (read: glare).Except whatever, dude. Let's see Natalie Portman and Zoey Deschanel come out together sometime to present an award. Then we can talk--after our living room finishes imploding, that is.I also received looks and head-shakes every time I clapped and squealed "Heeeee, Colin Firth!" Which was pretty much every time the camera looked at him or somebody talked...

Read More