The Telling

This story didn't happen to me, it happened to my friend who briefly blogged under the psuedonym Mistress of Mayhem. She is aptly named, I feel, because she has more crazy stories of her encounters with weirdos than anyone I have ever met in my life, including the Iraqi hair-stylist man on a train in Germany who wanted to marry her for a green card and kept telling her, "I could loff you." It is her latest encounter which I share with you now.

First off, let me say that MM is getting married tomorrow in Seattle, and the whole story is just extra romantic, and we are thrilled that she is so happy. Here is a picture of MM and her fiance. See how cute and happy they are?

Anyway. It seems there are some people out there who are idiots and don't know when to keep their fat mouths shut. When she brought her engagement pictures in to work, some guy told her that he didn't recognize her in the picture because "you look a lot skinnier in the photograph than you do in person!"

Now really, Who does that???

But that's not even it. You could possibly just chalk that up to the guy being clueless and tactless and not asking permission from someone smarter before speaking.

This next one is the one that kills me. A lady in a restaurant in Provo overheard MM talking about the wedding, so she butted into the conversation and said, "I don't think you should be eating, because a girl like you could stand to lose a few pounds. It wouldn't kill you."

Aaaaaand this is the part where my jaw completely dropped and the air left my body in a huge gasp and I had no words. I think my mind had to reboot from the shock of it.

MM, because she is the epitome of gracious behavior, responded with, "Well, I am hungry, and though I could lose a little weight, I hadn't thought starving myself to be a great option."

And the cow, instead of being shamed by behavior that should have rightly earned her several bricks to the teeth, retorted, "Well, this should be the most important day of your life, and it won't hurt you to go 3 or 4 days without any food. Might help a little, you know."

Might help WHAT, exactly??? Might make her groom love her more because she lost 3 pounds? And in what possible universe is MM's weight any of this lady's business? I wish so, so, SO very badly that I had been there. Because even though I don't like getting in actual real arguments with people, I would have made an exception for this one. I would have suggested that she lose a few pounds too--starting with a lobotomy. And that she take herself right back to whatever bridge she crawled out from under.

Also, MM isn't fat! At all! And even if she were, so what? She happens to be one of the kindest, smartest, funniest people I know. Why would anyone want to stomp on her happiness like that in the name of being helpful? MM is, in fact, the kind of person who, two days before her wedding, asked how I was doing and actually listened when I told her. Anyone else would have had a hard time focusing on anything that wasn't to do with the upcoming wedding (which is understandable), but not her, and that's just one of the many reasons why I love her.

And so tomorrow, even though I can't be there, I'm going to be crossing fingers, toes, knees, and elbows in the hope that everything will go smoothly for her. Best wishes, dearest!

Posted in: England