Haha!

This has made my day! Extracted from Roadrunner Records: HEAVY METALThe protagonist arrives on a harley, kills the dragon, drinks a few beers and fucks the princess.POWER METALThe protagonist arrives riding a white unicorn, escapes from the dragon, saves the princess and makes love to her in an enchanted forest.THRASH METALThe protagonist arrives, fights the dragon, saves the princess and fucks her.FOLK METALThe protagonist arrives with some friends playing acordions, violins, flutes and many more weird instruments, the dragon falls asleep (because of all the dancing). Then all leave...without the princess.VIKING METALThe protagonist arrives in a ship, kills the dragon with his mighty axe, skins the dragon and eats it, rapes the princess to death, steals her belongings and burns the...

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Do those scrubs come in pink?

The other day Landlady J went to the dentist and told me that her dental assistant talked constantly in a really high voice. I tried to explain to her about the dental assistants in Provo. And how it's sort of the alternative for girls who don't want a 4-yr degree but want to be taken more seriously than beauty school students. This way, they get to wear scrubs which makes it seem as though they are doctors or other medical-type people. And you see them in line at Cafe Rio with their tanned skin and startling white teeth and two-toned blonde highlights and acrylic nails. And scrubs. And some of them have done me grevious wrongs and are on my list of people to kill.I realize some may find this a gross overgeneralization, and they might write in to say that I am so completely wrong because...

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Malacca Trip

Regardless of the little delay in the update of my ''pilgrimage" to Malacca, I shall recall and write out my experiences here with you. 27th May:Waking up at 6 plus am on a saturday morning is not a thing you would want to do, but the notion of getting away from Singapore - The Stress Furnace is enough an motivation. So, I departed my lair in the groggy state to Golden Mile Complex for the bus. Reached Golden Mile Complex - The Thai Heaven, and waited for the arrival of the bus. Due to the incessant nags of my parents, I was chased off to the toilet to relieve myself as they have warned, it's going to be a long ride. Okay, so I abided them and went. I thought the toilets there at Golden Mile Complex were dirty enough, until I reached my destination.Following next, I boarded the bus which...

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I'm gonna go get one of those job things

The Networking People say that when you're on the lookout for a job you should tell everyone, because you never know where the Big Tip might come from. So, this is me attempting to invoke the Mighty Powers of Networking by doing just that.I'm thinking about moving back to UT in the fall. Just a few reasons for this are:1. I know people there.2. I may end up having to get a low-paying library assistant-type job for the first year, and it will be a lot easier to live on the cheap in UT for a while than in someplace cool but strangle-you-with-your-own-intestines-expensive like London or Boston or Seattle. That can come later when I'm making more than $8 an hour.3. Coney's might be hiring. Free custard, baby!4. If all else fails, I will head for the desert and try polygamy. They probably don't...

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I've never FELT so alive!!!

I have two things to say here if I can calm down enough to say them.The first thing is that I just got my tax refund. I didn't think I would be eligible for the Lifetime Learning or whatever rebate ($2,000) for the tuition I paid last year, on account of it's a UK school that doesn't have an agreement with the Dept of Ed. But I answered all the questions honestly and carefully and figured I would just see what happens. They could give me the money, or they could not give it to me and send me a letter that said "Nice try, fool" or they could send black-suited men to my door to cart me off to prison. Only guess what??? They gave it to me! $2,528!!...

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Not too much to ask

I've had an epiphany.For the last little bit I've been thinking about where I would like to go in the fall (other than a tropical island that is owned by me and where only people that I like can come and live). So in my head I've been going over the merits of England and, say, Utah in an attempt to get a logical view of things. What I've come up with, though, is that I want both. No matter which I choose, there would be aspects of the other that I would miss enough to become cranky over it.My solution, then, is to combine the two, much like the good people who decided that it was too cruel to make me decide between peanut butter and chocolate and so put them together, thereby earning eternal glory.All I have to do is find a place that has all of these things and I'll be set:Green English...

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The Telling

This story didn't happen to me, it happened to my friend who briefly blogged under the psuedonym Mistress of Mayhem. She is aptly named, I feel, because she has more crazy stories of her encounters with weirdos than anyone I have ever met in my life, including the Iraqi hair-stylist man on a train in Germany who wanted to marry her for a green card and kept telling her, "I could loff you." It is her latest encounter which I share with you now.First off, let me say that MM is getting married tomorrow in Seattle, and the whole story is just extra romantic, and we are thrilled that she is so happy. Here is a picture of MM and her fiance. See how...

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Proof.

That's it. I'm a nerdy metalhead.Just attempted the online Enzyme Diagnostic Test, and I got 13 upon 14. I did not even touch my notes. I fucking swear I did not.So, I want to be home-schooled! I do leaps and bounds better at home academically. Hello! 'Home-School Petition and Campaign'. =)I am a geek,Ling26th May 2006...

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Treating myself

Tomorrow I will tell you a story that will have you shrieking in dumbfoundery and phoning your Senators and/or other elected representatives. But that's tomorrow. Today you are just going to get a list of random things that I've been doing to indulge myself.I bought a shirt yesterday. That wasn't really an indulgence because I was having an interview with a recruitment agency rep who was visiting the department and needed to look nice. Because it was in the 40s and raining (grrr to you, England!) I took the bus and went to Primark, the cheapest store, to find the cheapest button-up dress shirt I could find. I turned my other one grey back in November with the black-sock-in-the-white-laundry bidness. I tried on a blue one with the fabric all crinkly and twisty like the cool kids are wearing...

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Surprise.

I am Jack's sense of complete amazement.I actually passed my Chemistry test which I thought I will fail pretty badly. Although I merely passed it by one point. Adding to my surprise, I used to fail majority of my sec 4 chemistry tests and I actually passed a JC level one. Wow.=)I'll stop bragging now,Ling25th May 2006 ADIt's raining heaven's cum outside, and I can't go home. :( Stuck in the library's computer lab with a roomful of noise-generating creatures isn't going to help me destress after school, especially one after PW. That abomination, spawn of Sat...

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Dani updates the minions II.

Dani Filth, or more affectionately known as Count Backwerdz in the recent years, have generously sedated our ever-growing hunger for more Filth action by posting the finalised (and banned) art work of their latest opus, Thornography.Seriously speaking, it's not up to the expectations of many Cradle fanatics including me as well. Well, let the picture do the talking. From the professional perpective of a (hopelessly) obsessed Cradle of Filth maniac, the art work of Thornography isn't the best shot of Cradle. I, personally still prefer, Cruelty and The Beast's artwork.Due to a frustrating technical problem regarding the persistent tardiness of Blogger, a link could make my life better. =)Alright! So much for telling all the crap that you wouldn't want to know, I shall contnue with more. =)"Spam"...

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Might as well become a criminal

I decided that in this time of change, I should do something crazy. And since drinking, drugs, smoking, cussing, exercising, and having the sex are out, I had to find something a bit more low-key. So I have embraced the criminal activity of P2P file-sharing.I know! Are you shocked?It was actually my Legal & Professional Issues class here which made me question whether or not I should be worrying about copyright infringement all the time. And yes, I realize how twisted that is. I'm sure by the time I've finished writing a dissertation all about Open Access, and about how people should just stop being so darn stingy with their stuff, I probably won't have any principles left. I'll have a pirate name and everything! Aaaaarrrrr!(This doesn't mean, though, that I'll be okay with people using...

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Just, you know, FYI . . .

WR and I have broken up. It was all very civil and friendly-like, on account of I had already gotten most of the crying out of my system already. Things had been rocky for a while and we both realized it was time to call it.Also, it feels a bit liberating and hopeful to realize that it's meant to be better than this--that we're meant to be happier than we have been these past few months. And it feels good to know that I will feel that way eventually, even though I'm sad that it couldn't be with WR.Only this is not the place for the badmouthing of WR, so please nobody do it or I'll have to get all censory on you. We're still friends, we still have all the same friends, he reads this blog, and I'm not about to make this into some big dramatic sides-taking thing when it just isn't. This is me...

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Life...

Seemann - RammsteinKomm in mein Boot ein Sturm kommt auf und es wird Nacht Wo willst du hin so ganz allein treibst du davon Wer hält deine Hand wenn es dich nach unten zieht Wo willst du hin so uferlos die kalte See Komm in mein Boot der Herbstwind hält die Segel straff Jetzt stehst du da an der Laterne mit Tränen im Gesicht das Tageslicht fällt auf die Seite der Herbstwind fegt die Straße leer Jetzt stehst du da an der Laterne hast Tränen im Gesicht das Abendlicht verjagt die Schatten die Zeit steht still und es wird Herbst Komm in mein Boot die Sehnsucht wird...

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Hah!

I am free, free, free!I finished my last paper at 30 minutes before the deadline. And I got a blessing from my home teachers the night before when they came over, which I can now totally recommend. I wasn't stressed out or rushed or anything at the end. So that was really, really nice.Of course, all my fingernails are gone now. And half my toenails. But it could be worse.Also I dreamed that my Collection Management teacher turned all evil and threatened to kill me because I hadn't finished writing the paper for her yet. That was a bit freaky. Instead of her normal sassy Scottish friendly self, she suddenly became like that really sneaky evil aristocrat lady that Lindsay Duncan played in Tom Jones and I kept expecting her to rake her nails down my face all slow like she did to that poor footman.But...

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We're going down we're going down we're going dooown

Points to whomever gets this one.Don't even ask me how it's going on the Collections Management essay. So far I have about 1400 words, which would be great except for the part where only about 300 of them are actually mine. The rest is just stuff I've pasted in from sources. Hoo boy.What would be great is a tragedy or natural disaster or illness so that I could get an extension on this one, because man I am having a hard time focusing. Here's what I have been doing instead:Trimming split ends off my hairWriting a CV which I have to mail out tomorrow for a job I will not getListening to Savannah read me No David! and the Charlie & Lola book I got her, at which point my ovaries started digging their elbows into me and muttering mean stuff about how I never let them do anything good. Almost...

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One down . . .

I just finished my 2500-word paper on copyright. Rejoice with me! And in my Management and People Skills class it says that an important part of time management is celebrating when a task is completed or a goal is achieved.My preferred celebration choice (a 90-minute full-body massage with heated rocks, essential oils, white Egyptian cotton towels, and people feeding me brie and strawberries through the little hole that I put my face in) does not seem to be materializing. So instead, this is me celebrating with a blog post. And a Snickers.You can tell who the postgraduates in the computer lab are. Not only are we old, wrinkled, and debauched, but every now and then we glare at the young children chatting away on their cell phones. Because no one is allowed to be happy when we have deadlines...

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Coma White.

I have got say I am addicted to watching Daren's new video, Coma White.The smoothness. The feel of everything. The music. Those delectable Stud cards. Phew. All are practice-inspiring.Watch The Skillz Man here at Decknique.net. Watching flourishes has become better than watching porn,Ling15th May 2006...

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ever so sorry

But this week is going to be crazy as I try to finish these last two big papers by Friday afternoon. This will likely involve all-nighters, poor hygiene, alienation of family and friends, and powerful mind-altering substances produced by Cadbury.See you when it's all ov...

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Cruelty brought thee Fatigue.

Was having dinner with my family at Marina Bay BBQ just now. Due to the excess of silence and boredom around the sputtering pan of oil and mostly, overcooked meat, me and my brother thought of a parody of The Exorcist's famous exorcism scene.To better explain my version of the scene, a diagram would be helpful.Firstly, the possessed would sit opposite of the priest.The hungry priest would add loads of butter on the pan. Due to his (lack of) skill, he flicked his wrist and the dap of butter flew off at an angle that it rebounced off the pan as soon as it landed. And, flying directly at the face of the possessed.The possessed then shriek out in...

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DB officially gone nuts.

Alright, David Blaine has officially gone nuts. He does not seem like a homo sapien any longer, and that is freaky.To prove this insanity, I have a video of this latest stunt, Drowned Alive, a name that lacks creativity as his previous stunt was named Buried Alive.So here's it;Blaine gone nuts.Madness. Sheer madness. Then, I proceeded to re-enact that dramatic scene by holding my breathe in the bathroom myself. Hahaha! What mockery. Whatever.Anyhow, I just came back from a pub where there's live music on demand. I am so very sorely disappointed. Metal music is seriously under-estimated. Sigh, I exhale. Metal Music needs a Leader to bring it to greater heights. And, I am very passionate to do it, although I, myself, lack the musical talent for it.In the midst of being there, I pondered. How...

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Because I only do boring things now

Here is your boring Blog post about what I'm doing with my boring paper-writing time life. It'll only be a quick update though because I have to hurry and get back to The Boring.1. My cute visiting teachee hooked me up with a dress for the 40s ball and it is very pretty. It's actually made from the fabric that her mother was going to use to make her bridesmaids' dresses last year. Only then her fiance broke off the engagement, which was sad, and around New Year's CVT needed a nice new dress and said, "Meh, screw it" and used the fabric, which was good for her. Also that just goes to show that you get blessings when you do your visiting teaching.2. I won't bore you with the details of the papers I still need to write. Just trust that they're there and they're a pain in my butt.3. I went to...

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Realization

I just realised I am a nerdy metalhead.This post is useless. But I like it this way. =)I just got my brains fried after the chemistry test in which I furiously scribbed the (in)correct answers. Bah, who cares?!And, I finally got a response of someone whom I used to cherish so dearly. For this, thank you. And I thank you immersely. =)Life is a BITCH, it really does,Ling11th May 2006...

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Apparently the UK is now AGAINST free labor

If you ask me they're taking that post-colonialism guilt a bit too far.Yesterday I called my local public library to see if they had any volunteer work I could do over the summer. They told me that the county does not currently have a "voluteer scheme" in place. I asked Landlady J what the heck that meant, and she says it's to do with beaurocracy and Health & Safety. Because if they had volunteers in the building then they would be somehow responsible for them even though they're (gasp!) not insured. I don't think it would help if I promised not to sue in the event of a papercut.I was kind of stunned though, to meet public librarians who aren't begging for volunteers to combat their budget cuts and staffing crises. So I must conclude that there are secret, other reasons why they don't...

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Greetings.

Hello all, this is a time for me to update again, so sit back and relax. =)Firstly, the General Election results. As expected always, PAP won again. What's new, right? In addition, my dad attended the rallies of the opposition parties ONLY and he said there are many things said against PAP, but the newspapers and media did not publish them. Instead, they reported everything for the good of PAP. To furthur add oil to the inferno, when the results were released. They broadcasted tonnes and tonnes of reports and updates regarding PAP and almost none on the opposition parties. What the fuck is this? I am not going to hold what the media says in high regard from now on. Biased. Very.On a lighter note, it have been said that THE EXPLOITED is coming to Singapore! Whoo! First Slipknot, then Mayhem,...

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The eyes have it

So remember last year when I wrote about how once in a blue moon I get mail from that LDS LinkUp place? And how it's pretty much always from older European or Latin American men?Well. It's that time, friends. I just got this from a 34-yr-old in Portugal. I've also included one of my profile pictures. You will see why.Ahem.Hi!, I just needed to say that I'm so impressed with your lovely eyes and smile!, they are extremely beautiful!, so fresh, sweet, spontaneous, make you look amazingly sexy, hot, charmed, unique and express many special things about you.I read your profile and I found you extremely interesting... everything it says match perfectly...

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lovely lovely lovely

All day it has been so gorgeous, and I think it's particularly fitting my poem at the London Underground's Poem for the Day page was this one by Emily Dickinson: I taste a liquor never brewed -From Tankards scooped in Pearl -Not all the Vats upon the RhineYield such an Alcohol!Inebriate of Air - am I -And Debauchee of Dew -Reeling - thro endless summer days -From inns of Molten Blue -When "Landlords" turn the drunken BeeOut of the Foxglove's door -When butterflues - renounce their "drams" -I shall but drink the more!Till Seraphs swing their snowy Hats -And Saints - to windows run -To see the little TipplerLeaning against the - Sun -Landlady...

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Disbelief

I still cannot believe I have met the Legends of Norwegian Black Metal, Mayhem.So kids, don't mess with this jie-jie here. ;)I am totally nekro,Ling5th May 2006...

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Get ready for a visual

Because I am currently jumping up and down while kicking my own butt in the manner of a deranged self-loathing cheerleader.The weather pixie and her 50s sundress are not lying, folks. It is indeed 73--no, wait, 79 glorious Fahrenheit degrees outside. Wanna know where I am, though? I am in the computer lab working on a paper.Wanna know where I could be? I could be at the flipping seaside right now. WR invited me because he's driving there to measure somebody's back garden or some junk for work. I said yes but then changed my mind because I needed to be responsible and productive today.He's probably there right now, on the beach, burning himself bright pink.Somebody kill me please.And then this nasty lady told me not to eat my Reese's Peanut Butter cup in the computer lab. Does she even know...

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Bored.

Guess! =)I have...1) smoked2) consumed alcohol3) slept in the same bed with someone of the opposite sex4) slept in the same bed with someone of the same sex5) made out with someone of the opposite sex6) made out with someone of the same sex7) had someone in your room of the opposite sex8) watched porn9) bought porn10) done drugsTOTAL: 311) taken pain killers12) taken someone else's prescription medicine13) lied to your parents14) lied to a friend15) snuck out of the house16) done something illegal17) cut yourself18) hurt someone19) wished someone to die20) seen someone dieTOTAL: 421) missed curfew22) stayed out all night23) eaten a carton of ice cream by yourself24) been to a therapist25) been to rehab26) dyed your hair27) received a ticket28) been in a wreck29) been to a club30) been to...

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An update

It's May already! Time really flies. Almost half a year is gone... That means 6th June 2006 is getting closer and closer! [brightens up at the prospect of a nearing doomsday] =)Anyways, I'm starting to feel better and finally getting used to my JC life which is extremely hectic. In addition, I am getting pissed with an abdomination, called PW. Yes, Mdm Tan is so right, PW is Satan's Spawn. I totally second her opinion. To hell with PW! Sigh.More about Mdm Tan, I am appalled by the fact that I am beginning to appreciate her cynical, blatant sense of 'humour'. Here's one example exhibiting it: Vanessa did not answer her question as she wanted her to. Then Mdm Tan commented, 'I am to assume you forgot to bring your brain today to school.' ROFL. Mr Mok got pwned. XDOn a lighter note, I feel...

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I'm pretty sure I used to be funnier

Have been looking at old postings from last summer and laughing my fool head off, thinking, "Dang, who is that funny girl and what the crap have I done with her??"Maybe it's because I was working at BYU, which gave me much blog fodder. Or maybe it's because there were only like 3 people reading this thing and so I didn't have to worry about hurting anyone's feelings when I wrote about how stupid they are. Although really, not a whole lot of funny happens when I spend all day by myself in my room, pretending to write papers. I tell you--too much alone time = not good.I imagine by the time I'm up to my armpits in dissertation I'll be well funny, to borrow a phrase from WR.So today you're going to get one of those obnoxious list things.Ahem.10 Random Facts About Me, because this is my blog and...

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Whooooooo's a big stupid procrastinator . . .?

I AM! I AM!Sigh.I should be thoroughly ashamed. I still have 1,000 words of this paper to write, and I have to completely redo the existing 1600 words so that they don't sound like a pile of rubbish. But all I want is to take a nap and hope that it will all just . . . float away, like so many petals on the wind. And now that it's 10:00 I think, "Well, huh. 10:00. No point getting started now!" This basically means that I'm going to flunk out of school. Again. Some more. It's the Dimond Center for me, boys.What do y'all think of this dress Banana pointed me to? We have this 1940s ball thingy coming up in a couple of weeks and I guess I'm meant to wear something to it. Like, something other than the six outfits that are pretty much all I wear and which are now starting to fall apart. This is...

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