In the words of Bridget . . .

. . . Am wanton sex goddess! Hurrah!

(Would like to clarify, though, for friends and family that am not actually participating in such behaviors.)

Turns out that being a substitute teacher in Sunday School last week did all kinds of good for me. The teacher of the other class didn't show up, so I had pretty much every guy in the ward held absolutely captive by the honeyed music that is my voice. Also, having the entire ward sitting there made me nervous, which caused me inject humor in the lesson as some adrenaline-fueled survival tactic. So now they all think I'm great fun, rather than what I actually am (a nervous idiot who jabbers away in an incomprehensible garble).

Point is, I'm now a dating machine. Here's what happened this weekend:

Guy #1 - Nice young man, victim of the stupid misunderstanding I posted about last week. We went hiking and to dinner and I had a really good time. He seems smart, funny, nice, quick-witted, all those good things. Am not totally sure that I get him yet, though. You know how with some people you can tell that they're thinking a whole bunch of things that they're not saying? And I don't know if, after the date, he wants to ask me out again.

Guy #2 - Set up by non-smug married friends who have good taste. He was tall, handsome, v. nice and patient w/small children, and I think we were both bored out of our minds by each other. It was so very difficult to make conversation! I don't know if we were both having off nights or what, but it was kind of painful. I felt like I'd been doped up on Vicodin. And as a PSA to everyone, if you go to Macey's to get a soft-serve cone and they tell you they don't have any chocolate dip available, just go without! Do not, under any circumstances, allow them to dip your cone in something called Black Raspberry. It will taste like an air freshener and you will hate everyone involved.

Guy #3 - Called me Sunday night and began with, "Um, are you dating anybody? Would it be okay if I asked you out?" I was confused, as I thought he was dating someone else quite seriously. So I asked and the poor guy spilled this whole story about how things just weren't progressing and she suggested that they take a break to date other people and see if they really want to be together, and he guesses sometimes that just happens but it's really hard and he's just hoping for the best and has that ever happened to me before? Basically, he's a fragile individual who has been told to date other people and called up the first girl whose name he knew. But hey, I get to go see the Utah Symphony up at Sundance next weekend!

Guy #4 (I know! 4!) - Introduced himself at church, complimented last week's lesson, and said that he think I should be a stand-up comedian. Ouch. Am now terrified that I may have spent the entire lesson making people laugh rather than inviting the Spirit to teach true principles. He invited my roommates and I to watch to the 4th of July parade w/his apartment, which include Guy #1. So I went, heaven help me, partly to have another chance to hang out w/G1 and see if there could be anything there. Jury's still out on that.

Posted in: being a Mormon,dating or not so much