Overheard at my desk

From one 4-year old girl to another:

"Hey, can I just follow you around in here? Because I'm pretty sure I'm going to like you."

I think the dating world would be a lot easier if that kind of line worked for us. It doesn't, though.

Other things that would make the dating world an easier and less bloody and crippling place:

The suppression of the, "Feel free to treat me badly, mess with my head, and never, ever allow me to get over you" vibe which is emitted by many otherwise lovely and confident women.

The suppression of the radar which somehow enables loser men to, without error, pinpoint the aforementioned women as objects for their campaign of f-wittage.

The deletion of the social norm which says it's not right for me to stomp on the saco de toros of men I observe engaging in such behaviors.

If everyone knew instinctively which league they were in, and which members of the opposite sex were in the same league. This would save a lot of time, embarrassment, and pining.

If many LDS males did not insist on shooting several leagues above their own. It is unfortunate that many succeed at this simply due to the economics of scarcity. All this really does is encourage more fruitless dating while the girls who are in your league and would quite like to date you glower from the sidelines.

If women could stop the genetically hardwired compulsion to start planning the wedding, children, and retirement condo after one date.

If women could refrain from sinking into a depression if there is no second date.

If we could all stop assuming that people are on the same page that we are and that they surely understand every subtle hint we give out. Sometimes our pages exist only in the Book of Freaky.

If women and men could stop dating losers/commitmentphobes/addicts/cheaters under the mistaken assumption that even a loser is better than nothing. (Note: It isn't. Ever.)

I know I've missed some, so please feel free to add to the list.

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Because who wants cheap when you can have free?

If you're looking for free stuff now that you're in Christmas debt and everything, Lifehacker has put together their 2007 Guide to Free Software and Web Applications. It is the Internet's way of holding you close while feeding you chocolate and showing you pictures of Hot British Boyfriends and telling you how much it loves you.

Pretty much the most beautiful words in the English language to me are "Open Source." (The other most beautiful words are "I'm waiting for you by the fountains at Pemberley.") Open Source basically means "Fabulous thing that someone created and which they decided to offer for free rather than finding a way to patent it and take all your money and your soul."

Or, if that's not actually the kind of mood you're in, it's the Internet's way of allowing you to flip off The Man.

Anyway, you should go check out the link. Here are the categories of stuff they've pulled together:

Application Launchers
Backup Utilities
BitTorrent
Bookmarks
Calendar
Desktop Search
Disk Space Visualizers
DVD Rippers
File Syncing
Image Editing
Image Viewers/Managers
Instant Messenger
Macro Makers
Media Players
Password Managers/Helpers
PDF Readers/Writers/Editors
Personal Finance/Money Managers
Start Pages
Telephony Managers/Helpers
Text Editors
To-do List Managers
Virus Killers and Malware Cleaners
Web Clippings
Wikis
Zip File Extractors

I don't know about you people, but that list kind of has me breathing heavily. Has anyone here discovered an Absolutely Fabulous Free Thing online that they'd like to share with the rest of us?

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I am resolved

These are my actual Real New Year's resolutions

Step up scripture study and temple attendance. Which will help me become a wiser, kinder, more spiritual person who is perhaps less tempted to scream really foul words during traffic. Or when I accidentally stub my toe. Or, you know, when the last bite of ice cream falls on the ground. Trying, taxing stuff.

Start exercising again. Need to make a more concrete goal, there. Right now it's so I can be in nekkid shape for Hawaii--which gives me 2 months. Not that I plan to be nekkid in Hawaii. Much.

Start learning Spanish. Because as beautiful and sexy as The French most definitely is, it's not incredibly useful around here (naughty librarian seductions aside). We'll see if I can actually fit in a class this year or if I'll have to start out with tapes and such until my schedule gets more normal.

And then these are just Things I Want to Do This Year

Attend Utah Shakespearean Festival.

Buy only local produce this summer--and considering that I live in Aggie Town, this really should not be an impossible thing.

Can peaches with Desmama.

Freeze eggs before they start getting all cracked and linty.

Be more social--have yet to clarify this, but can already tell you it will not mean "Attend Ward Prayer and Ward FHE every single week," because I am not a machine, people, nor will it mean "Sign up for LDSPlanet." Because we've already seen where that can lead.

Build on the success of my knitted booties and move on to hats or socks.

Go on fun vacation with Mom and sisters in September/October.

Have a hot fling with Brit or nonsmoking European.

That's a pretty good start, right? What are some of yours?

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